Me: uh, yeah. And you all got arrested
I said annoyed.
K: yeah that time
He placed his hand behind his head.
Me: what's up with that?
I asked with a rude tone. I really didn't want to remember that. It was such a frustrating situation.
K: i told Shelli about it and-
Me: what?! Why the fuck would you even tell her that?
I pushed him back inside the bathroom because Kurt would arrive any time soon. I mean, what the fuck. I sent him to buy a motherfucking towel.
K: cuz we're really honest with each other
Me: yeah, Kurt and i are really honest with each other too, but I'm not gonna tell him I kissed you back!
He shrugged, eye roll.
Me: anyway, what happened?
K: well she got-
Me: she got mad?
K: well yeah cuz-
Me: what did she say?
K: she called you a slut
He said lamely. A slut? For real? HE kissed ME. I scoffed.
Me: so I'm a slut now?
He curled his lips and nodded.
Me: so why are you so worried?
K: well she's mad because you're our manager and have to be with us all the time and-
Me: Krist, is there a point to this?
K: well, she wants me to talk to Kurt and Dave to think about adding another female person, a publisher and-
I scoffed loudly and grabbed my head. I couldn't believe what i was hearing. He grabbed both my arms.
K: hey, I wasn't planning you to even tell you
He tried to calm me down.
Me: then what the fuck were you gonna do?!
I said taking a step back. I wanted to cry but i didn't want to at the same time. Now that i think about it, I haven't cried in a long time.
K: no idea.
Me: you kissed me, Krist
I almost whispered.
K: i know and-
Me: then did you tell her that?
K: no
Me: but why does it even matter? She wasn't even in the picture back then!
For real, this argument had no sense.
K: look i know but i guess she feels weird that you, one of her best friends, kissed me, her current boyfriend.
Me: but still. She called me a fucking slut, there's no need for that. She clearly knows I've always been a loser
He placed a hand on my shoulder
K: look i know. That's the reason why we were fighting. I got mad when she started acting insane and saying all that stuff ...
Me: for real?
K: yeah. She didn't really give me a concrete explanation but im positive she's mad cuz none of us told her before
Me: because she didn't fucking need to know!!
I was at the verge of tears. Like what the fuck was happening? Its all so pointless. Krist suddenly gave me a hug.
K: it's alright, twin.
A tear slipped out.
K: it's hard, really. My decision may cost me my relationship.
Me: no Krist, don't do that
I said looking up to him. He just gave me a warm smile.
At Hole's studio
Since I'm also Hole's manager now, i had to go to their studio and listen to all of their songs. It's pretty exciting to be a manager if two bands, it's probably gonna make me real busy.
I listened to the whole album and it was great. Still, my favorite song is " Teenage Whore". Surprisingly, they were gonna launch their album before NIRVANA's album. NIRVANA still hasn't even thrown their second single. Though we can still wait a while, "Smells Like Teen Spirit" is still making up to charts. Everywhere, MTV, the radio, tv, cafes, the mall, EVERYWHERE. I can't seem to escape the song.
C: so did you like the album?
Me: of course! Really great
Mel: we worked so hard on that album
She groaned.
C: for real
Mel: how about the other band mates?
Me: they're really nice.
Courtney and Melissa decided to come, the other two are just chilling in their homes.
The albums launches tomorrow at 12pm and we need the whole band and the manager here before that time.
Me: got it, I'll be here
C: ugh, aren't you excited?
She side hugged me.
Me: i am!
Im still looking inside my brain, just to make sure there won't be a coincidence with NIRVANA.
The next day
Mel: Crys, floor it! We're gonna be late!
Me: fine!
I was going above limit by now. We finally arrived almost at 12.
Great! You're here! We're about to launch!
There was so much people here, all crumbled up inside the radio station studio.
C: 30 seconds left
She said excitedly.
Good afternoon folks and the band Hole's new album "Pretty on the inside" just launched! A phenomenal rock band, four members and hey, three of them are women! Who knew women could be this good?
What the fuck did he just say? Everyone's expression shifted to a whole new one. Courtney cringed, and Melissa just had a poker face. I knew what i had to do. I pushed everyone in my way and made it to the microphone. I took the microphone from the guy and started talking.
Me: hahaha! You know what fellow Jeff? That woman can actually do the same shit as men and men can do the same shit as woman. So as far as i know, you know SHIT about music and these WOMEN do! So buddy i think you should shut the fuck up!
This whole time i was talking with a fake commercial voice and face commercial smile. EVERYONE had a shocked expression on their faces, specially that Jeff guy. With that i walked out the room happy as ever and the press was all over me asking me different kinds of questions:
Hi Miss, what's your name?
Who are you?
What do you think about feminism?
Who gave you the courage to do that?
I paused and answered all of their questions in one answer.
Me: My name is Crystal Roberts, I am 17 years old and i am a band manager. I believe that both genders are equal.
With that i finished and so many pictures were being taken of me.
5pm
Ku: Crys! Where were you?
Me: at Hole's album release
Ku: we had to launch "come as you are without you"
Shiiiit. I totally forgot. I knew it was sketchy.
Me: agh. Im so sorry Kurt, i was trying to make sure but-
Ku: its okay, it's just one song. Besides I'm so proud of you.
The next day
Teenage Feminist Band Manager Shocks Broadcaster
A seventeen year old band manager, known for being Hole's band manager, shocks the whole crew and band by snapping at the broadcaster, on live radio after he says some sexist comments: "Who knew women could be this good?". The teenager named Crystal Roberts said: "You know what fellow Jeff? That woman can actually do the same sh*t as men and men can do the same sh*t as woman. So as far as i know, you know sh*t about music and these Women do! So buddy, i think you should shut the f*ck up!". After that, Roberts walked out the room being crowded by the paparazzi and press asking her questions. But who is this Crystal Roberts? Where is she from? Are we gonna see her again?
K: damn twin! You're more famous than us!
Me: shit me!
Ku: Crys, fuck it up!
D: wassup?
He sat down.
K: look what our savage ass manager did at Hole's album release
He handed him the magazine. Dave sees the picture of me and has a shocked expression.
D: woah its you!
I nodded. He started reading and when he finished reading, he talked.
D: damn Crys, you beast
I laughed.
K: but for real, what an asshole
Me: the broadcaster?
K: well yeah!
Ku: totally
He said taking a sip from his orange juice.
Me: i know right? Like, what nerve?
Ku: we're just so proud of you
I gave a cheeky smile. I suddenly receive a phone call.
Me: Roberts
Hi, is this Crystal Roberts the band manager?
Me: yes, goodmorning, who am i talking to?
Hi, Im Ryan Jacobs from "Jukebox" magazine and i would love to interview you for a section in our magazine
Me: me? For real?
Yes, we're more than flattered. You seem like an interesting person and specially when that situation with the broadcaster happened. Everybody wants to know who Crystal Roberts is.
Me: wow, that's great. When will this be?
Next Friday, so it'll come out in time.
Me: well that's perfect.
Great!
He gave me the address and all the other information i needed to know.
The band and I were going out to eat with Stacy also, and on our way in, the paparazzi started taking pictures of us.
We're still trying to get used to it. I was, of course, holding Kurt's hand and probably the paparazzi took pictures of us two.
K: damn, that paparazzi was so annoying.
Ku: for real
He sighed. I payed attention to the restaurant's music, and they were playing "Come as you are".
Me: hey guys, listen
They stopped talking. Dave smiled.
D: it's "Come as you are".
Ku: i have so many ideas for the video.
St: yay
I was making paper work and suddenly Krist gives me a heart attack.
K: look what's on the newspaper headlines!
I jumped. I grabbed the newspaper from his hands and read:
"The Savage Hole's Manager is also Kurt Cobain's, From NIRVANA Girlfriend"
Me: oh my. I'm now the "savage manager"
K: yeah, but read what it says
Hole's savage manager, Crystal Roberts, was spotted yesterday September 22th in Los Angeles with NIRVANA's front man and guitarist, Kurt Cobain, holding hands. It happens to be they're a couple, but still, people want to know more about this "Crystal Roberts", and now more if she's Kurt Cobain's girlfriend.
Me: they give headlines for this?
K: hey, people like you
Me: and why is my name in quotation marks ?
I said reading it again.
K: ha, I don't know. I guess they don't believe you're Crystal Roberts
Me: why?
K: I don't know
He shrugged.
K: so what you doing?
Me: looking for magazines that would want to interview Hole.
K: ah nice
Me: also trying to contact MTV
K: MTV?!
I nod not looking at him.
K: as in Music television?!
Me: no, as in moist tit and.. Nevermind
K: ooooooooooh, i know what you were gonna sayy
Me: shut up, Krist.
I said taking a sip of my juice.
Me: and remember tomorrow's the NEVERMIND photoshoot.
K: ah yes, underwater.
Me: sounds fun
At Nevermind photoshoot.
Here's the baby that will be swimming inside the pool guys.
I personally hate babies so much. I find them so annoying and ugh. I never find them that cute. This baby on the other hand was KIND of cute.
K: aw look at the little fellow.
You wanna hold him Crystal?
I chuckle nervously.
Me: sssure
I said grabbing him, he was pretty heavy.
Me: haha, here you go
I gave it back to her.
Well guys, I'm gonna change into my swimming suit and we'll start the photoshoot in a sec. Take off your shirt guys.
The guys nodded.
K: eesh. I don't wanna take my shirt off.
Me: why?
K: cuz I'm fat
Me: no you're not, you're just chubby. Anyway, so what if you're fat?
K: but these two motherfucking glowsticks are skinny and have dumb abs.
D: glowsticks, hehe
Ku: aw come on Krist, it's okay
K: FINE
When the guys took off their shirts and put their swimming suits on, Krist was the last on to come out.
Me: damn Kurt
We started kissing. I put my hand on his waist and touched his ribs. I stopped kissing him and started laughing.
Me: your little ribs
Ku: whats up with them?
He grinned.
Me: i can FEEL them
Ku: I'm skinny, remember
I noticed Dave was there. HE had abs. He looked so good. Dave's body is really hot.
Me: damn papi
I said to him.
D: oh god
He tucked his hair.
Me: well you guys ready?
I slapped Kurt's butt.
D: I'm ready
Me: how about you buns?
Ku: YOU'RE the one who has buns
He grabbed my butt.
Me: he he he. Stop
I chuckled nervously.
D: it's true. You DO have ass
I put both hands on my ass. I was sure i was blushing.
Ku: ey it's Krist
He was covering his belly.
Me: awwww there's my little twin
I walked to him.
K: nehhhh
He still had his hands on his stomach.
Me: oh come on
I pulled his arms away.
K: fine
He crossed his arms.
Me: cutie!
I pinched his belly. He made a weird baby noise.
Me: isn't he hot guys?
Ku: yes!
D: totally
Me: see?
K: not as hot as your ass though