Oh boy, how do I start this?
*Breaths in and out* Okay. I'm good now.
So okay so everyone has lost someone close to them more than once. Even if you have only meet that one person for only a few times, they have a big impression on you.
For example, I lost my first grandfather, on my mother's side: he was her step father, in 2006. I loved him a lot. He was more of a grandfather to my cousins, me and sister than my other; who was my mother's biological father. Of course I was sad but I didn't cry. I was too young to understand.
Then in 2011, I lost another grandfather, from my father's side. I was sad but still didn't cry.
(I already told my other grandfather in Robbin Williams Tribute chapter)
Anyway, every time I see or watch Aladdin or Robbin Williams, it makes me think of my grandfather from 2014. Same goes to pictures.
Baseball and the New York Yankees make me think of 2011.
The movie Madagascar, Pirates of the Caribbean 2 and fishing brings back 2006.
Anytime I think of those brings back happy memories. Happy memories that will never be forgotten and bring smiles.
But Ella...somehow Ella was different.
Ella was a little girl along with her brother, that my sister and I use to babysit a year ago in December of 2015 and one time in January of 2016.
She was a sweet girl who loved girly stuff, play hard core video games with her brother, watch Barbie movies and Frozen.
I will never forget the first time I met her, she was shy and hid under a blanket. Cute. :)
She was so full of energy that made me feel older than I really was. XP Oh my back.
One day, back at March of 2016, we had gotten a call that she had passed away. I was literally in pure shock. I couldn't believe what was happening. My mother who told us was in tears and I thought something had happened to my father or someone from my family. I remember watching Barbie in the Nutcracker before bed and when it was over I decided to listen to Let it Go because Ella loved Frozen. Big Mistake. When Elsa got to the part where she sang: "That perfect girl is gone." I lost it.
Going to her funeral wasn't easy either. Before the pastor spoke, the music of Let it Go played and for the first time ever, I cried at a funeral. I haven't listened to that song since and I can't remember when I last saw Frozen. I was about to watch it until that situation happened, even though I have the movie. So I believe it's been about a year and a half maybe.
But I did something wrong, I only thought of Let it Go in a bad memory. You can't think of memories like those like that. So I finally gathered all my little courage that I have and listened to Let it Go. Yes I did cry but...they were tears of joy. And I will watch Frozen again! (After I get some sleep before I just got back from my trip and it's past midnight XD)
I may not hear Let it Go as the same as ever again but now the song brings back happy memories now. The same goes to Barbie movies. Now I have a purpose to continue to watch them. But they brought happy memories.
Why was Frozen and Let it Go different for me?
It all goes back to the funeral. The events where so powerful that I literally stay away from all things Frozen and that powerful song. I don't care if people hate Disney for milking Frozen anymore. I was kinda one of them until Ella. (Yeah I was obsessed with Frozen for six weeks until Big Hero 6 and continued with any new Disney movie after that. Like how I'm obsessed with Moana right now.) Now, I see Frozen in a different way. A new perspective.
I guess we all do? Seeing one little, or listen to, or feel, will bring back a happy memory. If you think of it as bad, you will never see the light again.
You need to Let it go. And the fears that once controlled you Can't get to you at all. It's time to see what you can do To test the limits and break through. No right, no wrong, no rules for you or to anyone, you're free!
Let it go, let it go. You are one with the wind and sky. Let it go, let it go. You may cry and Here They stand And here They'll stay. Let the storm rage on.
You never go back, the past is in the past. Let it go, let it go. And rise like the break of dawn. Let it go, let it go. That perfect you is gone! Here We stand in light of day, Let the storm rage on
The cold never bothered you anyway!
Dedicated to Ella 2008-2016
She would have love the new Frozen Ride at EPOCT.