It needs some major editing and additional revising. Have no fear! I'm working on it!
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"Again!" I yell at my squadron as they spar with one another in hand-to-hand combat.
"When training do not think of it just as training. Think of it as a life and death situation. Think about your mates. Your Children. Your Family. Those you choose to protect! "
I can feel the intensity of the blows increase in great tremors causing a small smile to creep on my face. "This is no longer training. . .my kinsmen. This is merely protecting what's yours. There is no other option for you! It's kill or be killed!"
The tiredness I was beginning to see in their eyes quickly turns into motivation. I walk around monitoring the sparring making sure no one gets too out of hand. The extra adrenaline I pumped into them will make them last another thirty minutes or so, I gather.
"Lay off of them for a day Pierce. They look tired," Tristan admonishes as he walks up beside me.
That only causes me to look at him with a dull gaze. He always had a soft spot for people for no apparent reason. I have no idea where it stems from, but one day it may end up getting him killed. There is no room for compassion in this world we live in. He of all people should know that.
"Look? They are tired. I want to push them to the point of exhaustion. That's the entire basis of training, Tristan." He grabs my arm before I can leave making me narrow my eyes.
"Pierce. Let them rest. They'll be at the front lines in a week. They need all the rest they can get."
"Fine."
"Enough for today! Go home and rest. You'll be needing it."
They all begin dropping like flies as I finish my sentence making me bite down on my lip in anger. A lot of them are heaving as the rest of them are panting while sweat drips down their hair in cascades. They're tired, I know. They're exhausted, I know, but I can't bear to see another one of my kinsman die such an insignificant death again. I start to walk out of the woods with Tristan following close behind me.
" ...About what happened at the last—"
"I don't want to talk about it," I state matter-of-factly hoping to shut down anymore means of communication with him.
"You're working them mad, Pierce... I think your personal feelings are getting in the way of your better judgement. You should—"
"My personal feelings? My personal feelings?" I repeat again. "Fuck you, Tristan!"
He gets in front of my way blocking the only way out of the forest. I try to divert my eyes away from him already knowing what he is going to say.
"You act like everything is okay! Like his death doesn't bother you in the slightest. I know he isn't just another sacrifice to you, Tristan! I know he isn't... Don't try to force me to pretend like this doesn't hurt."
"Pier—"
"He was our childhood friend! We grew up with him!" I slam my fist hard against a tree causing it to rumble. Some of the limbs begin to fall off as a response.
"Another one of us has died...I feel like another piece of me just died along with him..." My eyes gaze into his greyish-green eyes becoming cloudy with water.
"He won't even have a proper burial. He'll be buried in a ditch just like the rest of them. I won't get to say goodbye... I'll never be able to..." My voice gets caught in my throat.
"I will never be able to tell how great of a friend he was to me. I— We will never see him again! Gabriel ,our Gabriel! He's gone and he's never coming back!"
I sound broken. I know I sound weak. Yet, the pain in my heart is unbearable right now.
His long strands of brown hair dangles over his face as he puts his head down. I watch as his hands clench back in forth into a fist. I can see the stream of silent tears he's been holding back going down his face in droves. After a couple seconds of this, I walk over to him and make him lean against me.
"It's not a sin to cry...I promise I won't look," I say in no more than a soft whisper while trying to hold back my own.
"He deserves this recognition...it's the least we can give him." His tears leak into the shoulder of my shirt as he begins to sob uncontrollably.
He was closer to Gabriel than I was... I know it must have been killing him and seeing him hold it all in was making me sick to my stomach. That was his best friend that died, and he couldn't have done a single thing about it. That by far is the most cruel, weakest, loneliest feeling you can possibly ever feel. How could you even make an attempt to bottle up those kinds of feelings?
His nails sink deep into my shirt and further to my skin. I turn my head away from him as I hear him crying loudly. There are no words of comfort I can tell him. There is nothing I can possibly do to make him feel remotely better. I never felt so useless.
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"I'm sad that we all are gathered here in great numbers to read off the names of our fellow kinsmen. They were all outstanding weres and their lives were not forfeited in vein. They died fighting for this land we call home and now they are with the Goddess," The Speaker announced. "There was a total count of sixty casualties, one hundred injured and five missing. "He coughs and rids himself of his fake sense of grief.
"Here are the names of the ones that were lost:
Samuel Mcallister, Jodie Goodman, Henry Bedford, Jeff Yamen, Tony Hunting, Rebecca Rhoades..."
With each name that is called a wave of screaming and wailing can be heard through the crowd. My heart cringes under the pure sadness looming through the atmosphere. I never liked being here for these ceremonies, but I feel like this is the only way I can truly honor them for who they were and what they sacrificed their lives for.
As the ceremony progressed, you could not hear The Speaker of the Pack over the cries of everyone there. This ceremony is nothing but a massive funeral session. No one can ever get the kind of closure they wanted.
" ...Gabriel Gretcham..."
My eyes widen as my mouth begins to water at the name called. I feel the need to throw up, but I hold it in for fear of his mother seeing me.
"My baby! My baby..." I hear his mother's voice as she falls to ground. Her husband tries to pick her up but she shoves him away from her.
"Don't touch me!" She falls on the ground as her husband does as was asked of him. Her blonde hair becomes unrestrained, flying this way and that.
"Honey..."
"That was baby! That was my baby... He was only nineteen...he was still just a baby," she wails in incoherent fits of sobs.
I look at Tristan who looks helplessly away from me. Malachai and Zach along with their sister Gabriella hug her as they begin crying as well.
"Quiet. Quiet now. You have the rest of you're lives to grieve, but I must get through with this list."
He clears his throat and carries on with the names. I never wanted to snap someone's neck as much as I want to snap his. He has never seen the face of battle and probably never will. He's the Alpha's lackey, that in which makes him important.
"...Isabela Gomez..."
The way he is reading off these names like they are nothing. Nothing but " a mere sacrifice." I wish they all could just once understand what we have to go through for the sake of their comfort and luxury. I want them to experience the loss of someone important to them. They never will, however. Not how this pack is going.
"Mark Opsotrey-opso-to-rey..."
I make my way towards the front of the ceremony before Tristan grabs my arm. He shakes his head but I snatch my arm back and continue pushing my way towards the man. Still, he follows me and grabs both my arms.
"Pierce, think about what you're doing!"
"It isn't right!" I yell filled with anger.
"People begin to quiet down at my outburst. "How can we accept that joke of an excuse of grief from him or from the rest of them? They don't care. Truly they must not care."
He lets go of my arms as I wrestle out of his grip.
" Tell me oh great Speaker of the Pack, what are we fighting for? What is that we all are willing to risk our lives, our brother's and sister's and friend's lives for?"
He backs away from the podium and dead silence looms over us all. " We're dying. We're losing so much of our pack members but for what? A few meager pieces of land? Tell me what is it?" I scream.
"All... All I want is my best friend back...but that'll never happen now will it?" I mumble with tears in my eyes.
"For our protection and the greater good of the pack. You, of all people, should know that," I hear the Alpha's booming voice as he pushes the Speaker back and stands in his place.
"A lot of lives has been lost over the past decade, as we all know, but they weren't meaningless. The Northern Lands wish to impede upon our way of living, our entire existence. We tried treaties of peace. We tried stalemates. But nothing seemed to appease those bloodthirsty savages."
"I'm glad you brought up this subject, Pierce . Now is better time than ever. We must reaffirm the people of what they are fighting for." I glare daggers at him at how easily he was able to flip my words into something beneficial for him.
"We must fight! You feel the burning hatred in your hearts... You must use that fire to vanquish the Northern and Western Lands from existence! We must conquer! We must persevere. so no more of our lives can be lost!"
Everyone begins to shout his praise and soon it turns into an uproar. I look around as see people's fists in the air with determined smiles on their face as they chant his name. Others, very few others, are still weeping. Gabriel's mother is one of them. He looks down at me and I do nothing but turn around and try to make my way out of the ceremony.
As soon as I step out of the crowd of people my father comes and yanks me by the arm pulling me close to him.
"Pierce what the hell was that?" he whispers with anger laced through his voice.
"Just speaking my mind."
"You need to stop. Whatever that is going on inside that head of yours, you need to immediately get rid of it!"
I roll my eyes at this.
"As my son, they can try to charge you with disloyalty to the Alpha."
"As your son, I have the right to question his rule. You are a Beta, yet you live under his demand and control. You have the right to challenge him."
"What has gotten into you?" he hisses. "This. This isn't like you."
My eyes fall at this comment.
"You will be serving the next Alpha just as I am serving the current one and you must not ever have thoughts like these again. Do you hear me?"
I stand there in silence before he shakes me.
"Pierce!"
"Yes...father."
"...I'm not saying you are wrong in your thoughts, just voicing them isn't very smart. He is going to try—"
"Beta."
My father looks at the man who just said his title.
"The assignments have been made. The Alpha would personally like to read the intel forces." He nods as the man walks away.
"...Be on your best behavior for now on."
I follow my father to the unit lines where we always go before we go into a skirmish. I thought the next one would be next week. Why today? Everything is seeming so rushed. The ceremony ends and many of the Guardians, as we call them, begin to head in our direction towards the unit lines as well. What the hell is going on? My father pushes my back.
"Get moving. "
I nod with some apprehension and start to follow the crowd. Slight bows and nods come from some of my fellow Enforcers and Guardians alike. I give them one back in acknowledgement. Another scrimmage... I wonder how many of our names will be on the next list?
I feel an arm wrap around my neck and smell her scent come to me like a slap on the face. It's so distinct no one is ever capable of ignoring it. It's hard to describe.
"Pierce, do you know what's going on?"
"No. I'd think you of all people would know since you're all buddy-buddy with Derrick. "
She laughs at this while shaking her head.
"We're just friends like I told you. " I make eye contact with her brown eyes. I can always determine whether she's lying or not, but her eyes don't register either.
"This isn't sitting right with me. Some of our people just came back from a battle and he's sending us off again? After a ceremony? We've lost hundreds within the month already."
"We'll talk about it later," she murmured as we each make our way to our separate squads.
It is silent, dead silent. An eerie atmosphere full of dread begins to loom around us. No one speaks. No one moves. We all know what's about to happen. We're just in constant denial.
"My, my, my... There are some fine young men and women here."
My jaw tightens in response to hearing Derrick's voice. His long, lean body hangs over us as he steps onto the platform. I see the Alpha looking us all over in a domineering stance. His mate sits there staring at us with indifference as their other son share the same bored stare. Isaac was nowhere to be found and he was the eldest of the three.
As he tries to speak, his over-grown bangs get into his mouth and he tries to take it out. "I'm sorry about this, but I must ask you all to fight for us again today. I know you all are tired and some of you are suffering from great losses from the last attack, but I must ask you regardless!"
His voice spreads through the air like an infectious disease. I grind my teeth together in utter disgust. I can sense the aura of my pack mates and I don't like it. At this rate, he is going to drive everyone mad. The Alpha approaches my squad leaving Derrick there by himself. He hovers over me looking down on me like I am beneath him when I am only another rank away from taking away his leadership.
"Pierce Abbas, Jacob Malloney, Kenny Tellerk and Samantha Ramsey, I task the four of to go to the outskirts of our territory, to a village named Ashent, and stabilize the tribe there. "
My eyes widen at this. He gives me a devilish smile as he puts his hand on my shoulder. He had been planning this for awhile. With my brother gone and my father at his mercy, I am the only one who stands as a challenge to him.
"I'm sure you're more than capable of doing this than anyone else."
"Anything for you Alpha!" I hear the three of them say in unison making me cringe. He looks into my eyes as I gaze back at his black ones.
"And you Pierce? "
"I cannot assure you the completion of this assignment and I also can't guarantee the lives or safety of my fellow pack mates, but I'll gladly take on this mission. "
"Good, you leave out today. "
I blink at this.
"S-sir!" I hear Tristan's voice not too far away from my squad.
He turns and glowers.
"Do you question my judgement?"
"No sir...but..."
"Do any of you question my judgment?" he shouts.
No one uttered a single word as he voice boomed across the area. His voice carried demand, force, and overall submission to his will.
"This squad will be led by Archer in your absence. " He combs his hands through his ashen grey hair and continues down the squads.
"Beta, announce the rest of the assignments. Make sure they leave out as soon they hear them."
"Understood, sir." He walks away with his air of arrogance and suppression.
His end will come soon. If not by me, by someone else and I will not mourn him. My father locks eyes with mine and a sad knowing understanding can be found in them. He would have to pass the title onto Kaia if I am to die.
As soon as the Alpha and his family left everyone decides to breathe again. You could make out the ones who were not assigned to go out and the ones who had. I look around and notice a girl rocking herself back and forth muttering incoherent words to no one but herself along with another guy banging his head against a tree. I spot a guy with his hands on each side of his head screaming nonsense. Only a few of us stood there, not breaking from the news. I take another look and realize those are the people I have to work with. Goddess be good, he gave me new ones.
I clench my hands into a fist threatening to break under the pressure myself. " Get it together! We're not fucking dead yet!" I yell at my assigned group, specifically, but everyone heard me.
"We're not dead yet, so quit acting like it. Yes, it seems impossible. Yes we may die. But death has always been a possibility for us and we can't do a goddamn thing about it. The Alpha has given us a mission and must do it. We've all seen war and we're all suffering but don't break now. We still have a long way to go."
I watch as the girl rises and nods. The other two go on to ignore me.
"Jacob, Kenny...Get it together, we're leaving at three."
I start to leave but Tristan and Kenzie run up to me after they receive their assignments. " You can't go! It's suicide!"
"I'm going," I say with resolve to prove the Alpha wrong. He will not be the one to kill me. No, I will not by on his command.
I begin to walk away again but Tristan grabs my arm. He tugs me closer to him as I try to pull away from him. Kenzie latches on to my arm as well.
" There is only the three of us left, Pierce!" I hear her shout. " I can't bear to lose another one of you!"
"...I'll come back. I promise..." I smile weakly as I meet their gazes.
"Ah, and tell my sister...no nevermind. Just tell her I'll be back."
"Pierce."
"I always come back."
Always.
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