"Jessi, it was a dream"
"I'm telling you, it was more than that. It's like God or... Odin or whoever is up there was telling me something"
"So, like a vision?"
"No, Vision didn't tell me about it, I had a dream about it"
"I'm not saying that Vision told you about your dream. I'm asking you if it was a 'vision', a signal from the future? A sign."
"Oh" I unhooked the seatbelt and let it retracted. It hit the wall on the side of the car and I reached for the door "well, I guess" my fingers curled around the handle. My Aunt Sharon sighed and shifted the car in to park.
Today, I was in Romania. A few weeks ago, I had a dream where I was standing in the center of a plaza, a culture surrounded me but I couldn't quite figure out which one. The language was familiar but it wasn't my strongest tongue "just wait here, I'll be back"
"Are you sure I can't go with you?" Sharon asked, lowering her head so she could see out the passenger side door. I placed a beanie on my head and slipped on sunglasses. I'm one of the most recognizable people in the whole world, so it would be bad to go out without any cover.
At the moment, my Dad thinks my Aunt and I are touring the Appalachian Mountains. He thinks we're hiking in the mountain woods with cantinas and tents. We'd return home probably tomorrow or the day after. I decided not to tell him that I was here.
"I'm sure" I assured quickly and shut the door. In my dream, Steve's friend Bucky Barnes was here. He stood in a crowd, his eyes locked with me. It was as if he was telling me that he was here. He wanted me to find him. I'm not so sure if it'll be like that in real life, but we'll find out won't we?
Right now, I'm in downtown Bucharest, Romania. The language in my dream was Romanian. I never knew much about that country and the language, but I was acquainted with it.
My Aunt stayed parked on the side of the street. This road was similar to the one in my dream. There was a crowd of people, it smelled like smoked food, gasoline and... dirty lemons? Smog filled the area around the tops of the buildings.
I pulled my beanie tight on top of my head. Nobody recognized me as I strolled. I pulled out my phone "Friday?" I asked. She was our new AI since Jarvis is now in Vision. It's funny because Vision has Jarvis's voice, so whenever he speaks, all I hear is J.
"Anything new? Key word Winter Soldier, of James Buchanan Barnes"
"No new sightings ma'am"
"Sweep all the cameras, wireless or not on the busiest streets in all of Bucharest. Use the facial recognition scan of the photo" a photo of Bucky from the 40's appeared on my phone screen. Friday scanned the image and started to search through every camera in the most populated parts of Bucharest. After a few minutes, her voice spoke again "what's up?"
"I believe I've found something"
"Ok"
"Street light camera caught someone who matches to the photo, 83%" Friday pulled up the image on my phone. A man was walking in the corner. The photo was in black and white and he wore a hat over his head. But his hair came down to his shoulders. The face was blurred but recognizable. He walked in a crowd of others, so it was almost hard to catch. I tapped the screen.
"That's the one"
"It was taken three days ago"
"Send me the coordinates" I waited till they popped up "now take me there por favor" the direction appeared on my map app. I started in that direction. Part of me wishes that my Aunt stuck around with the car so I could get there quicker. But also walking, feeling the wind on my face and seeing the sights of the city is worth it.
"I noticed something else" Friday said "there seems to be a pattern in the photos. He walked by the same street light camera at least once a day"
"So he must live over in that area" I put two and two together. So if we go there, we might be able to find him.
***
It was sunset now, and I was standing outside the door of an apartment complex. It took a long time for me to find this place. A few chats with the locals, even though I barely spoke the language. I used basics, I spoke with a small fruit stand owner, apparently a man who looks similar to the one in the photo purchases fruit a few times a week there.
I went to each apartment with in a two miles radius and asked a manager from each complex if he lives here. It must have been weird to see a teenage girl with thick sunglasses randomly walk in through your door and approach you with a shady cell phone photo.
One of them asked me why I was looking for him, and I awkwardly responded with "he uh.... uh... won a contest, he won a contest for having the best hair and he left before winning his prize"
He seemed to believe me.
Anyway, hours later, here I am. The last person I asked told me he lived here. And he even gave me his room number. That wasn't the smartest thing for an apartment manager to do because that's a violation of privacy, but whatever. It's not like I'm a weird stalker person, right? Right?
I curled up my fist and knocked on the door. No answer. I knocked again. Someone fumbled on the other side of the door. My heart was beating fast. Shadows at the crack of the door on the floor grew closer. They stopped and stayed in place. There was a peep whole in the door. I raised my sunglasses over my eyes and stuck my eye in front of the circle "I'm not the police or anything, just open up"
The door opened up a crack, I fixed my eyes on blue ones that stared back on me "leave now" he spoke in Romanian and shut the door.
"I know Steve" I crossed my arms over my chest. The door slowly reopened. Bucky stood on the other side, his hand on the wall. His hat wasn't on and he wore old, worn-down clothes. I shoved my hands in my jacket pockets "Steve Rogers? You know him, right?" Steve told me that Bucky lost his memory a long time ago.
"That famous Captain guy?"
"Does he mean anything to you?"
"No"
"Then why did you open the door when I said his name?" I leaned forward on my feet. His mouth fell open slightly, I stumped him "I need to talk to you Bucky"
"Leave me alone" he grunted, about to shut the door. I put my hand on the door and held it open "Stop!" He yelled.
"My name is Jessi Stark" I pushed back against the door. My name caught him off guard, he stepped back from the door and I was able to open it all the way. I stood in the doorway, my hands fell down to my side. I pulled off my beanie and let my hair loose. He took a step away.
"My Grandfather is Howard Stark, and I'm sure you've heard of Tony Stark, also known as Iron Man" Bucky didn't nod or say yes, but I could see it in his eyes that he knew what I was talking about "I'm close friends with Steve, I know that you know him. He's told me a lot about you"
"Does he know you're here?" Bucky asked, sounding almost afraid to hear the answer.
"No" I shook my head "nobody does. My Aunt knows I'm somewhere in the city but she doesn't know my exact location"
"Don't you dare tell anyone where I am" he gritted his teeth.
"I won't" I promised "but I need you to answer one question truthfully, no slacking off, no covering the facts. I want to know what happened"
Bucky hardened his eyes at me. He clenched his hand again and again. I can only imagine that's his Vibranium arm "what?" He asked cautiously. A clock ticked on the wall above the stove and a sink faucet dripped water every six seconds. His home was messy. A small mattress rested in the corner where he spelt. A tiny bathroom was located in the corner "what?" He asked again. I looked away from the state of his apartment and back to him.
"December 16, 2007. I want to know what happened, and I want to know now"
"I don't know-"
"Yes you do Bucky, yes you do" I took a step towards him "December 16, 2007. On that street in DC, on that cold street. Just days before my birthday and Christmas, what happen?"
"Why do you care?" He spat.
"Why do I care?" I repeated, feeling a laugh rise in the back of my throat. I ran my fingers through my hair "that was the day that the most important person in my life died. She was killed, by you, December 16, 2007. Bucky, why? Tell me why"
His eyes drifted away for me. He seemed to be taken far away in his mind as realization spread across his face. I watched as his lips fell to a hurtful frown. His hands relaxed "T... Tara... he breathed "Tara Carter" he slowly refocused on me "and you?"
"My name is Jessi Stark, but before that it was Jessi Carter" I took a deep breath "you killed my Mother, Bucky. And believe it or not... I do not hate you, I don't even dislike you. All I want to know is... is why? If you loved her, if you genuinely loved her with all your heart. How?"
"What Hydra did to me" he growled, slowly lowering himself to the seat at his kitchen table. I remained standing "I assume you know what Hydra is?" I nodded my head "they tore my brain apart, but I will never forget the first time I saw that women" a sad smile pricked at his lips.
I pressed my lips in to a thin line, feeling them begin to tremble "She was standing in the snow with a gun raised in her hand, the trees of the forest surrounded us. She was sent to take me down. I remember watching her as the snow drifted along her hair, her beautiful blonde hair. I was sent to kill her..."
".... and she was sent to kill me. After that, she tried to save me. We must've ran through several different countries to escape Hydra. She helped me remember who I was before. But, Hydra caught up to us. I let her escape in the snowy mountains and I was captured and taken back. That was the last time I saw her. I met her in the snow and left her in the snow" I bit my lip, feeling a tear slip down my cheek "and then I was sent to kill her"
"So on December 16... please, just tell me how my Mother died" I begged softly, clasping to hands together.
"I shot her in the road. She saw me coming, she knew what it was going to happen. I didn't remember her at all from what Hydra had done to me. But..." he grimaced, remembering the horrid day.
"When I pulled the trigger, everything came back in a flash. Her body hit the floor and her blue eyes went blank. I remembered everything in that moment. The women I loved, gone forever" he looked up to me, I wiped my year away and sniffed "you look like her, you have her eyes".
I didn't know what to say. I crossed my arms across my chest and glared down at my shoes, unable to meet his gaze. I'm not angry, or vengeful, I just miss her. He rubbed his hands over his dark jeans "is that the only reason why you came here? To ask about her?"
"That's not the only reason" I admitted to him and myself. Coming here to find him wasn't just about me finding out more about my Mother. I wanted to meet him, understand why Steve cares about him much. I wanted to know what it was like for him all those years. But also, I wanted to forgive him "I came here for several reasons, but the main one is..."
".... Bucky, I wanted to be mad, I wanted to hate you for what you did. But when I was told that you killed her, I couldn't force myself to hate you. I've spent a year and a half looking for you. Steve and I, we've been scouring the globe in search of you. Only recently did he give up, but I kept going. And now I'm here"
"So why exactly are you here?" He asked again.
"Because I wanted to stand in front of you" I placed my hand on the table and leaned forward "and look you in the eye... and forgive you. I forgive you, I forgive for what you did to my Mother, for what you've done to others. All the lives you've taken. I forgive you. On December 16 you took the only person I had away from me" another tear slipped out, from my eye and his "but I forgive you" I whispered.
He stayed seated for a long time. I stayed standing. None of us had anything to say after that. You can't really bounce back from that "I um" I slipped my beanie back over my head and tucked my hair in to the sides "I won't tell anyone that you're here, not even Steve if you don't want me to"
"No" he shook his head "its best that nobody knows"
"And I can send you money, or anything that you need. Just tell me and I'll send it over-"
"I don't need anything" he stood up from his chair and pushed it back against the table. I looked around his apartment, thinking of all the things he could need. Like paint, and decent furniture, and even a freakin bed because he sleeps on a mattress in to corner of the living room "I want to stay under the radar"
"Alright" I started for the door.
"Why did you do this?" He suddenly asked, my hand was on the door handle "I don't understand how you could possibly say that you forgive me after what I've done?"
"You and I are connected, you were the last person to see her alive... and she was the first person I ever saw. And also..." I rubbed my hands together "my Mom loved you" I opened the door "and I could never hate anyone that she loved... except Killian, I hate that guy" I smirked and stepped out of the apartment.
"Wait, who's Killian?" Bucky called before I shut the door behind me.
"Just some orange bitch"
I found my way back to the car. The sun had just then sunk, leaving nothing but a canvas of stars behind. My Aunt sat waiting for me, her foot tapped against the floor impatiently "there you are!" She threw her hands up in the air "I've been worried, what took so long?"
"Oh" I shrugged, slipping in to the seat. I reached over my shoulder to grab the seatbelt "I was just taking my sweet time"
"Well, did you find him? Maybe?"
I thought about what Bucky said to me. He didn't want to be found, he wanted to be alone. If he doesn't want attention, I won't give it to him "No" I shook my head "I didn't... like you said, it was just a dream"