Allegro:
An Italian musical term meaning quick and lively. In ballet, allegro steps are
completed in fast tempo without your arms flapping about.
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Right at eight and exactly as planned, A Gray Maserati pulled up outside my house and honked his horn. I knew it was Travis, because he always honked the same way, two short toots followed by a longer third one, and was always the most punctual person in the world.
I trod warily at first, forbidding my heart to sing every time I heard the throaty roar of his sports car arriving for me, but my heart just wouldn't listen. I'm pretty easy-going overall, but I still get hurt and I knew I wouldn't be able to laugh off this relationship if it all went bottoms up. I was madly in love with this guy... end of!
He gave a start as the door to my bathroom burst open, to reveal a disheveled and rain-damp man. Upon seeing my shocked face and reddening ears, his own ears wiggled up as his face split into a grin.
"Sorry I'm early..." he said, mocking a shamed face as his eyes traveled my length. Spluttering, I tried to reply, but couldn't push coherent words through the bubbly forms of toothpaste and toothbrush. Holding up a finger, I sidestepped into the bathroom with a stern look
Flashes of our night together crossed my mind and I shivered at the memories. It had been hot, from that first moment against the wall to the second in my bed, and the third sometime in the middle of the night
"Would you like to have coffee with me? There's something I needed your help with" he asked.
I blinked for a moment.
"I don't know," I answered. "Are we friends? Can we have coffee?"
Travis eyed me on the mirror after I was done brushing my teeth. He followed me behind as I made my way to my bedroom, still I was in my towel
"It's really up to you. I want to talk. But if we can't, then that's okay too."
"That's great," I said with little enthusiasm and grabbed my underwear lying on my bed. I could feel Travis eyes penetrating my skin as I put it one
After that, I went to my walked in closet and grabbed a tight oxygen shirt with printed horizontal stripes in it and put on a purple skater skirt to match it with.
I walked back to my bedroom to find Travis sitting comfortably on my queen-sized bed
"It's... Nice. Nice to be back in a familiar place, you know? And it's kind of interesting to be back in the place I grew up and look at all those places that I thought were so important as a kid, through adolescent"
Travis laughed as I sat beside him to put on my Rusty Lopez flats with stud. "Places like what?"
"Oh you know. Like Kamuning, Eastwood and the shed in Fernwood Gardens. Oh, and especially Polilio Island"
He flashed a grin. "Remember all those... Movies we went to?"
I laughed again, and closed my eyes in shame. "Oh yes. I remember. My mom still doesn't know about those. And with any luck, they never will. Those were some pretty wild... Movies."
The room went quiet again as the awkward settled, taking the place of chirping bird. I know we could both feel the other flashing unwittingly through the memories of better days.
"Trav-"
"Monique-"
We stopped and awkward, stilted laughter followed.
"You go first."
"No, that's okay. Whatever it is that you have to say, say it."
He was still for a moment. "Monique... Where did you go? And what have you been doing ever since?" I could feel the terror clutch my stomach as he asked the questions that had been haunting myself for years.
"It's a long story," I said slowly. "But I'd like to start off by saying first and foremost, I'm sorry. I am so, so sorry."
He leaned so far back until his back rested on the head of my bed "were you happy there?"
I was equally quiet. "Yes, I believe I was, eventually. It was stuff I truly believed in, and it was good work. I think I made a difference in at least someone's life, and that was my only goal, really."
"Oh come on Nik. Don't give me that. You know what I meant." He pushed himself up this time
"Well what did you mean then?" In contrast, I was strangely calm.
He shook his head in frustration and stared at me intensely. "I mean, were you happy while you were there? In the moment."
"It's hard to pin down a moment and have it analyzed," I said, dodging the question solidly. Even though, I knew this might be the only chance I'll have "Back then I swore I was gonna marry you someday but I realized some bigger dreams in life."
I sighed "For the most part, yes I was happy. But it was scary too, being in a country that only spoke a language I was barely fluent in, and having it be a different dialect was a challenge at first. It wasn't really lonely, I had my mom to help me out." I looked at him for a brief moment and somehow, hoping he would understand. He knew how my Mom would pressure me, how badly I wanted to please my mom especially attaining nothing but the best in Ballet.
"I had a couple really good friends too, but we weren't assigned to the same city, when it came down to it. Mostly I made friends with the locals, who made sure I wasn't able to settle into my hobbit-ish lifestyle as I did once I moved back here."
He sighed in exasperation. "Well. Alright. You know that's all I ever wanted, right?" Leaning forward he looked at me more intently than he had all day. "I only ever wanted you to be happy."My heart skipped a beat at his words.
"I know," I said. " I'm sorry we somehow just stopped everything and gradually stopped talking. It started getting very unhealthy and I realized the dangers of what we were doing. I guess it was easier to blame timing and the universe than admit you stopped trying. Phone calls grew shorter, text messages became late replies, and date night became an obligation instead of something that we'd look forward to all week. And until now it remains to be true. I did what I did because I still love you. I'm sorry."
"No matter how much I try to forgive you" His gazes was now more magnetizing than the last time I set my eyes to them but at the same time, I couldn't bring myself to look away "I still can't bring myself to do so. I pretend to be okay with you for our friends. I don't want them to feel awkward and I don't want them to feel any tension" His reply was matter-of-fact, without the slightest hesitation or doubt.
"I know Trav, I know"
"I can only remember that it hurt. It hurt when you'd forget. It hurt when you stopped trying. It hurt how you'd easily go. But most of all, it pained me the most when I just couldn't do anything about it."
I climbed my bed and settled in on Travis' lap. I sat on his lap, resting my head on his shoulder. "
I wanted the night-to-dawn phone calls back. I wanted the quick replies once more. I wanted date night to mean something to you again. I wanted the good to outweigh the bad. I wanted it to work. I wanted you to want all those things too. I just wanted to have things the way they once were" I raised my head and looked into his eyes. "I love you, Trav"
I was still searching for a response when he leaned forward and gave me a long, soft kiss.
I sighed as he trailed his lips down to my neck. His hands circled my waist before creeping down under my skirt, playing across my soft skin.
Then Travis shoved a hand into my ponytail, yanking my hair free of the elastic. I winced as it pulled and Travis breathed an apology against my lips. I shook my head and put my hand at the back of his head, savoring the feeling of his silky dark hair between my fingers.
He lapped at my skin and kissed his way down to the curve of my collarbone. I shivered again, clinging to his shoulders and I hooked one leg around his waist. That move seemed to startle him and he wrenched his head up. We stared into each other's eyes for a charged moment, both of us breathing hard. Then
Without another word we undressed each other, taking our time and paying attention to every part of each other's bodies. Travis seemed to kiss every inch of my skin, sending shivers down my spine in the process.
When his lips made their way between my legs I moaned with pleasure, and he used his tongue to bring me to orgasm.
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I turned to face Travis as he shut the door and a second later, his arms were around me.
"Can we go somewhere?" he asked a minute later. I noticed that he was breathing hard. "I'd like to kiss you."
I laughed and shook my head. "You just kissed me."
I could see Travis' handsome face hovering over mine upclose
"I want to do it again," he retorted and kissed me. "And again," he added with another kiss, lingering longer this time. He teased me again with his tongue, drawing the kiss out until I hung limp in his arms.
"OK," I agreed breathlessly when he moved his mouth away.
"OK?"
"Yeah. You can keep kissing me." He grinned, his teeth flashing. I smiled back, barely staying upright in his arms. He kissed me again, and again. I surrendered, helpless to do otherwise. I felt that we could stay like this forever, just kissing each other senseless.
I took a deep breath as I stepped off from the front door willing my racing heart to slow
"Are you officially kidnapping me now?" I joked as I climbed into his car.
Laughing he questioned back, "It's not kidnapping if it's with consent"
And then he sat down beside me and smiled. The simple gesture quickened my heartbeat.
"I've known you long enough to get the idea." I laughed along with him. The engine purred to life and I could only watch as Travis put his gray Maserati in gear and drove the ten miles to the mall we're opt to. I was so excited! I was going out with Travis for the first time and not just sleep around with him on the confines of my room.
The car slowly backed out of the driveway, leaving the neighborhood for the main road that would eventually lead to the interstate.
As we drive off, I slid close to him and held his arm. I can't believe I have this man for myself this day
He starts telling me that he wanted my opinion on something he ordered over the mall last week and that we're having our quick lunch there as well. With one hand on the wheel, He placed his hand inside my thigh and squeezes me tight.
Shangri-la Plaza's was only about thirty minutes away from our subdivision, and on the way Travis and I made small talk. We sat and chatted and laughed, Travis kept touching my hand and arm, then our legs touched and locked each others eyes. I could feel the way everything's back in place.. At least, I hope it is
We made it to the second level of Shangri-la Plazas and after awhile, Travis dragged me to The Ramp Crossings where we looked around for the gift he wanted my opinion on. The store stocks beaded and painted bangles, clustered rings, mixed stone earrings, and the odd brooch from time to time, but its ornate, eye-catching neckpieces are a particular must-have
"Mr Quiñones, your custom-made necklace's been polish and done" I was anxious. It had been a long time since I felt my breath on his skin or the warmth of his touch.
The sales representative of The Ramp Crossings was really accommodating. I looked at Travis who got that excitement within him as the CSR named Nadine pulled up that silver box with bow on it.
Nadine smiled at me and said "It's sweet of Mr. Quiñones for a Christmas gift. You can try it on now, Ma'am"
It was white gold with a large single diamond nestling just at the top of cleavage, drawing the eye to my breasts. The necklace had a glitzy letter M hanging on it as a pendant. Travis appeared in the full-length mirror that faced me from the far corner of the store.
The light in the store creep in which made my complexion shine a ghostly white, and my eyes seemed to peer out . My eyes always did sparkle strangely.
Travis leaned close and his perfume filled my senses, "Looks good on her huh." Our eyes met in the mirror. He was just the epitome of sweet dangerously delicious and could have all the women of the world lined up at his door waiting for him to say yes to a date. This was life in a superficial world, but I couldn't complain. I was not in the place to do so.
And yet I couldn't help but feel a little saddened by the fact how everything worked.
I smiled and leaned close again to whisper in his ear "It's beautiful, Trav"
He said "Really? thanks Monique. It's actually a special gift for someone"
Is that someone.. me? OMG
I turned to face him as I followed him behind. If I had any doubts about my feelings for him before ... I no longer did. All my plans seemed pointless and somewhat silly. Because, I realized it didn't matter what I was wearing or what my plans were.
All that mattered was being with him, near him, to smell his scent, to hear his voice, feel his touch, to look into his eyes, lie next to him leaving the spaces between our bodies undefined and to let the rest of the world pass them by.
"Have it wrapped around a purple box, it's her favorite"
Purple? No, maybe Travis has forgotten what my favorite color was like
I had never wanted a man more than I wanted him. I wanted only to spend the entire time wrapped in his arms but my gut-feeling wont shut up, I feel like there's something wrong in the picture
I looked up Travis who had his arm on my waist whilst holding that paperbag with the gift inside it. A letter "M".
I should have known that I was out of my depth. This was unfair. Travis knew that I was attracted to him. Now we were walking side by side with a skin-to-skin contact, Travis must've that something on his sleeves.
I turned my head to look at him. That was another mistake. He was smiling at me with slightly parted lips. His dark brown hair was so tempting to let my hands run through it. His brown eyes were looking straight into mine. Like any other infatuated female would, I fell for the appeal in his eyes.
"Are you all right?" When I opened my eyes, Travis was looking at me with a gentle sweet expression on his face. " You seem a little out of it," Travis joked, and I smiled at his humor.
"Yeah, I'm fine, Trav," I replied.
I couldn't have him saying things like that when he didn't know how little I actually knew. It wasn't fair on me to have him carry all of that knowledge alone and keep saying the right things to buoy me up.
But there wasn't much time for this kind of thinking. The important thing was that we have this moment for now and for now,that he belonged to me in every way. That was what I wanted to hear but I couldn't convince myself for real.
We went back to the car park and slid inside, he drove us somewhere away from the mall and the next thing I could only comprehend was the fact we're heading to NAIA.
He didn't take my hand this time but I had nothing else to do but to only follow his lead going inside. The sun is hot and shining, reflecting off of the parked cars. We cross the street and walk side by side, heading down to the terminal.
"What are we doing here, Trav?" I asked, curiosity now on the edge. I saw him looking for someone. He stops, but doesn't give out. He just sits for a minute looking at someone but didn't answer me.
Then I saw a woman walking towards our direction. Travis' eyes beamed up like I'd never seen before. . In a sea of people, she stands out like a shining star, but she would never know it
She was wearing a very well cut strappy black dress and short jacket that showed her figure off beautifully. She wore little make-up, her skin was in as good shape as the rest of her and she had that classical high cheekbone-d face that did not require hours in front of a mirror.
As she stands there, the men in the crowd can't keep their eyes off her. One finally gets the courage to talk to her and walks up and that is Travis.
She made an eye contact with Travis as he began to approach her and I couldn't push my self to follow. I only stood there, watching them from a far. Without a word, they kissed and hold each other tight. He grabbed her bag and they walked hand in hand back towards my direction.
The inner sea that lapped against my broken heart's shores began to spill from my eyes, and my voice made odd broken crying sounds but I held still. I hated these tears---I hated feeling sorry for myself and being pitiful, but I couldn't help it.
"I thought I was picking you up at the airport at two. How did you get here, much less with groceries, by four-thirty?" Travis demanded.
"Well, it's nice to see you too, Hon."
At that, Travis' face softened, and, slightly apologetic, he continued.
"Please? I just want to know what's going on."
"Well-" holding my breath was becoming uncomfortable now especially as I watch them interact together. "Truth be told I lied,"
After a pause of confusion, she asked again, "Wait. Wha-?"
"I wanted to surprise you is all! So I told you my flight was due at two instead of eleven in the morning. That way I could get some food for us and get over here."
Slowly, she reached her arms up and looped them around Travis' back. She closed her eyes as if she's in heaven as she inhales his scent and touches his hard body, the sight of it was becoming an eye sore to me.
My heart gave an extra thump as his wrists felt the shape of her waist.
"I'd like you to meet someone"
She turned around and noticed my presence behind her. She blinked a couple times and shook her head as if coming back from some train of thought. "Holy! The legendary Monique Callejo" pink crept up her neck and cheeks again and she averted her eyes. "I really wanted to see you up close and I couldn't believe it! You're just so pretty–I –you –I" she said in one run-on sentence. "Thanks Travis!" She wrapped her arms around Travis' neck once again
Then regarded me that eyes with fascination as she grabbed my hand "You are my favorite of all! Travis actually bought me a ticket on your Giselle in Paris! We'd watched it together and I absolutely love how graceful you were!" She said and was surprised when she hugged me tight
I glanced at Travis behind this woman searching his eyes to make sure there was any kind or tinge of regret, but there was none and I couldn't help but have my heart sunk deeper after finding out he went to one of my shows but didn't have the decency to approach me. It pains me so much that I couldn't look at him straight now.
"I got you something"
"Really?" The woman slowly let me go and smiled at him. Travis grinned, his hands pulled tighter around her waist, inviting.
I could feel my skin heart crushing into pieces right now with a tingling pressure on each embrace they do.
As her eyes met his warm gaze again for the first time, I feel more entirely invisible right now. I felt the pit of my stomach give a yearning ache.
I watch as Travis put the necklace we bought awhile ago around this woman's neck. Perhaps this wasn't enough that I was already suffering from it, he pulled her close in a real hug, and mumbled into her hair
"I missed you, Mich"
After a moment spent contentedly in each other's arms, they loosened their grips.
"It's beautiful, Travis" As she said this, his hands wandered up over her shoulders and neck, and then held her hands.
"Monique" He began but I couldn't look back on his gazes now and I refused to. Nothing is quite as painful as realizing that you've been giving more than what you should have because then you would have to come to terms with the fact that he never gave much at all. I was intently looking at this petite girl as Travis finally said
"This is Michelle... my girlfriend and live-in partner"
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(A/N:
This is going to be the last update for 2013. Pasabog at its finest! Is Michelle for keeps na talaga kay Travis? Should Monique continue to fight the battle she's clearly losing or give up? Let me know your thoughts and leave comments!
Michelle on the multimedia BTW )