Chapter 13
Aftermath.
Melek wakes up in pain. It's the sunlight that has woken her, and when she opens her eyes she moves her hand to block it from her eyes. She's sore. It hurts everywhere. Her hand goes to the sore area and what she feels disturbs her.
she remembers: him coming towards her, screaming and fighting until she felt too weak to even keep her eyes open. And then, a dream she thinks, vague flashes of being on the bed, her clothes pulled off her body, and then pain...
Tears fill her eyes as it comes back to her. Her hand goes to her mouth and she wants to cry out, but she doesn't.
She's right not to, because on the bed next to her is her Kidnapper; her rapist.
His head is turned towards her, but his eyes are closed and his breathing is even. He appears to be in blissful sleep, and Melek isn't going to be the one to bring him out of it. Carefully and very, very slowly – even though everything in her body is screaming at her to run – she gets off the bed. She presses her lips together to stop herself from moaning. The area between her legs is sore and painful, and even taking a step sends shoots of pain down there.
She doesn't have a plan. All she knows is that she needs to get out. She knows the only one who could save her would be her father and after last night she was sure that the monster is Kenan and not her father and as far as she knows he didn't do anything t hurt her.
By the time she gets the door she has nearly collapsed from pain and fear. Holding her breath she takes the door handle and turns it, inching the door forward little by little.
Slam! The door is pushed closed and Melek falls back a little from surprise. It causes more pain and she cries out this time, though that could be the shock as well. She nearly hits the floor but hands catch her. His hands.
"Be careful , what are you doing." Kenan asked as he yawn sleepy.
Oh God no.
"Stay away from me!" she cries. She tries to keep looking at him, but her eyes dart back and forth, searching for a weapon. The Gun – but it was no where to be found.
"What is going on ?" He asked as he get closer to her.
"Melek, listen I didn't mean to kill your brother bu-..."
"I don't care , I don't care , you should have killed me , KILL ME PLEASE , KILL ME NOW !" She sob, her eyes finally filling with emotion.
He turns her around so she's facing him again. Melek fights though, and somehow she manages to get out of his grasp. She whirls round to look at him. His bottom half is naked but he's still wearing his shirt.
"D-o y-ou h-ave a-ny i-dea o-f what you put me through yesterday ?" Melek asked, her voice barely more than a whisper. "At all?"
Kenan remained silent . One because he didn't know what she wanted him to say and two because he couldn't let her know that he cared. He couldn't let her see how much she was beginning to mean to him. He didn't understand what he was feeling or why he was feeling this way in the first place but it was something that he couldn't control. It was spreading like wild fire in his chest, melting away at the ice cold cage he had locked his heart away in.
And he knew that she was going to talk about Musa and how much pain I have caused her.
He sighed and slowly made his way back to the door, gripping the handle firmly before glancing back at her over his shoulder.
"I'm sorry." Kenan didn't say another word, instead he turned away from the anguished look in her eyes and before he closed the door behind him his uncle appeared as he enters the room uninvited.
" Well Kenan , You have finally became a man , you have finally made her your wife and took your revenge , I am proud of you" His uncle stated as he grabbed him for a hug.
"I- D-i-d" He questioned.
Kenan started to remember somethings about last night , He was drunk and everything was blur , he couldn't remember anything from last thing except being drunk with his uncle but everything after that was just a blank space.
Melek let a tear slip from her wet lashes, feeling a pain rising through her chest. She was meant to hate this boy! He had done so much to hurt her.
Kenan and his uncle went outside.
She returned back to bed and wrapped the covers around herself, tightly, closing her eyes, more than ready for sleep to take her away to the land of dreams where nothing of this was real.
***********
A few Hours had passed and Kenan was back in the room , Melek didn't move from her place as she didn't lift her self to see him.
A few second after there's a knock on the door and Melek hears a voice which seems somewhere at the other end of a tunnel. "Am I interrupting?"
"No Sara ," Kenan answers. He can barely get his words out. "Run Melek a bath please."
Fresh tears come down, this time from humiliation. The maid – Sarah – has come in, Melek could hear the yelling that came from downstairs and she thought as if they were happy that he forced her and that what was actually happening.
His uncle was more than happy that he could harm the daughter of Musa Akyürek.
Melek knew everyone in the house knows by now that he...forced himself upon her and he doesn't even have the decency to be ashamed.
She can hear Kenan moving and feel the weight of his gaze on her as he changes. Then footsteps and he's coming back towards her. Melek can't move from fear, her heart hammering – please no, not again, please God no – and she even thinks she'll faint when he stops. She closes her eyes.
"I a-m sorry"
A kiss is placed on the temple of her head. It's gentle, but far from being sweet, it feels like a brand mark; he's reminding her that he owns her. She belongs to him.
"Go take a bath," she hears him say. He runs his hand down her hair. "I'll clear up in here."
********
Melek wiped her tears away and pulled a stray lock of her hair behind her ear as she entered her bed chambers and told Sarah to leave. She bolted the huge door shut behind her. Her heart was hammering painfully in her chest and when she saw her reflection in the mirror across from her, she almost didn't recognize herself. Her long, dark hair were tangled and her green eyes were red and swollen from crying. Even her hands were shaking. What had happened to her? In just a few weeks , she had gone from an innocent kid to this weak and crying mess.
She goes back to the bathroom when Sarah leaves, she goes for the shaver. She isn't surprised to find that it has gone, but only when she feels despair sinking in she realizes how much she depended on it. She sinks down to the floor and let's tears fall, finally giving in to terror and sadness.
She goes in the bath in the end. It feels good though, the warm water against the soreness that she felt in her body.
She scrubs hard. It aches but she wants to be clean of him as she scrubs harder and harder. There is blood there, in her private place , and it stings when she washes herself, but she doesn't know any other way.
She does throw up in the end. Her stomach heaves and when she finally collapses beside the toilet she is sweating. Her entire body is shutting down. Or maybe that's not the right word. Maybe her body doesn't belong to her anymore. It's Kenan's property now.
When she finally comes out of the bathroom (she's hidden in there for three hours trying to clean herself from anything that belonged to him even his smell ) Ceren is waiting for her. The girl she talked to before this happened to her, and at that moment Melek hates her, curses her for being so pathetically stupid and not warning her, even though it's not her fault. "I have breakfast for you," she says, gesturing to the tray placed on the bedside table. "And Kenan left you this. He said you would have wanted something to wear."
Ceren Eyes were filled with tears but she tries to act strong.
She leaves Melek in the room. She looks to the bed. Placed on it is the Pjs with an Kitten drawn on it. It's nearly white with only the barest hint of pink, shimmering in the sunlight.
Of course. He think she is that naive to accept a PJS after the pain he had put her threw.
As much as she doesn't want to wear it, she slips it over her body. She has nothing else. Truth is, she'd rather walk around wearing something he's given her than walk around naked.
*******
She locked herself in the room for most of the nights , it had been one; hell maybe two weeks and she was still in the room with him not even having a choice in that matter.
She cries every night as he was still sleeping beside her. she feels his hands move through her hair often, and sometimes he reaches to kiss her as she lost count at how many times he had told her he was sorry and she didn't even care about it.
*******
It's Sarah that tells him Melek's not eating. Kenan's in his bedroom when she informs him of this. It's had been seven days in a row now, and Kenan knows he's got to do something. He dismisses Sarah and goes, stopping to glance in the mirror. He's smooths his hair down a little, and on second thought rustles it. For some reason he's nervous.
He doesn't bother knocking when he enters her room, but he doesn't speed in either. He walks through the door and then casually leans against the drawers. When he comes in Melek glances up, sees him, and tucks her legs underneath her body.
In the daylight he sees her properly: she's pale, and way too skinny. She was when Kenan first saw her, but now her collarbone is very visible. There are dark circles underneath her eyes. And the second wave of guilt hits him. He glance down and see her crying. For some reason it struck a chord in him.
"Any requests for your next meal?" He puts a smile on his face, despite the fact he doesn't feel it. "Boyoz ? Börek ? Kandil simidi ?"
He knew that Melek Loved Börek
"No thanks," Melek says faintly. He's not sure what she was answering no to – all three?
"Cause, y'know, you're not eating." He stands straight, but Melek doesn't say anything. She's lying on the bed. Despite the fact she doesn't do anything during the day except have a bath, she looks exhausted. Kenan wonders how much sleep she's getting. How can he not know this?
With a weighted sigh he moves to the bed. She tenses and he ignores it. He sits on the side and moves his hand to her head, stroking the top of it. To his surprise she doesn't cry. Good. Maybe she's getting used to him now.
"Melek, you need to eat"
She seems to mold herself in a ball. "No," she says. There is a sliver more strength in her voice this time.
"You'll die." Melek's voice maybe stronger, but Kenan can feel his patience running low. He won't allow her to die. He refuses. She was apart of the deal he made with Musa and he needed her to be there. It's an addiction She is his wife and by now no one can replace her, he's beginning to realize that.
She faces him, and for the first time in a long while he sees the power in her eyes, the girl she once was. "No," she replies. Resolute, she turns away from him.
" Eat or I am going to force you to" He snap as grab her hair in his hands.