Relèvé
a rise to the toes from the flat foot in ballet dancing
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Sometimes I wonder what I did to deserve to go through what I go through, but I remind myself that thick skin grows only on those who can endure hardship, and can make it out alive and strong. What I face now may be difficult, heartbreaking, unfair, but what lies ahead may be worse.
Therefore, all that is happening now is training for what will be ahead. It won't get easier, it may hurt more. But once you're used to certain pain, all subsequent wounds are manageable; once you overcome something that you didn't even think you could, everything else becomes easy. Current pain is a reference point, what lies ahead will seem small and pitiful in comparison.
The sharp sound of the door snapped me back into the real world, and nearly into the ceiling...I hadn't heard anyone come up until....
"Nikki, I've heard from my dad that you were..." I looked up and found Liz gasping for breath as she burst out from my door. Her voice quickly died out the moment her eyes landed on my newly found acquaintance, Darren. "What are you doing here?" She raised her voice as if accusing him of the greatest crime he had ever commit
"Well.. " Darren rubbed the back of his head "Wait, why am I explaining again to you .. of all people? Really" Whisky colored eyes twinkled at her as he smirked. Sarcasm was obviously dripping raw on every blow he said
"Will you stop? If you're looking for sympathy you'll find it between shit and syphilis in the dictionary not here in the hospital."
For a few seconds, Both of them were somehow on a glaring contest. Weighing each others capacity to hold each others glares as long as they could, I don't know but I get the feeling that they go long way back
"Uhh.. Guys?" I said somehow breaking them from their silent death threat. Liz was an old friend of mine , and always seemed to know when I was feeling out of sorts.
Liz finally snapped back to her senses. The intense glare quickly soften as she glanced at my way now "My Dad told me you could go home tonight" Liz' dad, Rommel Yuchengco, is the head of the Orthopedic department at their family-owned hospital St. Anne Medical Center and he has been my doctor as well before he became the head of the said department so it's not a surprise Liz quickly found out about my confinement.
"Pero your shift would end at 11 pa di ba?" I asked. It's not a secret that Liz has been an intern on their hospital for awhile now
"I could talk to Doc Villegas, I'm sure he wont mind" She gently held my hand and then threw an arm around me and gave me a bolstering hug "I'm sorry on what I said to you the other time. I'm not in place to even say those.."
I shook my head "No. It's okay Liz. At least you were being honest. Tama ka naman eh. Asking Travis' forgiveness is just too much. It's all my fault"
"Nik, Don't think that way okay?" She squeezed my hands and took a deep breath before she continued "We spend our lives searching for answers we don't know, and loving people who don't love us back. God has a plan for everyone and everything. You just have to be patient and wait for things .." For a brief moment, I saw how her eyes fell to Darren before she looked away "to fall into place"
Seeing the growing alarm in her eyes, I rushed to set the ambiance at ease. "So.. umm, how did you guys knew each other?"
"Med school" They both said but somehow, it felt like it was just a tiny detail on what is really behind their animosity with each other
"I'll go and check if pwede ka nang mag out. Be back" Liz closed the door behind her and then she was gone
"Small world huh?" His eyes crinkled in humor as he smiled at me
"I guess. So you're somewhat.. friends with Liz?"
"Yeah.. I bet you are too. Tho, I haven't really seen you before. Even on her birthday back in med school."
"I studied abroad and I'm back.. hoping I could patch things up but failed miserably"
"I don't wanna be nosy but this Travis guy you were talking about.."
"You are quite the gossip monger alright" I let out a few giggles before I turned serious "He's... " I stuttered, unable to find words to complete it. I sighed "He's someone really special but he hates me now. If only I could bring back time"
"Never regret anything that has happened in your life, it cannot be changed, undone, or forgotten. So take it as a lesson learned and move on"
"If moving on is leaving that special someone behind, then no. I'd like to stay and fight than regretting I haven't done anything"
He gave out a low whistle "That's deep,Monique" He winked at me "For someone I've met less than 24 hours ago, I'd say you earn my respect on that"
"I'm all good, I've taken care of your discharge plan." Liz uttered as she got her LV bag on her should and shut the door firmly. "I didn't bring my wheels with me so I asked Adrian to..."
"I don't mind giving you girls a hitch. I brought mine with me"
Liz hesitated at first, raising her right brow as she did before she said "Alrighty then" Shaking my head, I had to admit that their silent battle is quite amusing to see
Feeling silly, but strangely free after finally being discharged so early, Liz reached out for me to lend a hand in getting out of the soft white bed of my private hospital room
With Liz by my side, Darren also was gentleman enough to open the door for us. He then escorted me to the door, and grinned at me as I stepped out onto the hall and finally the elevator going to the underground carpark of St. Anne
Darren immediately turn the alarm off on his 4-door, 5-passenger Red Cadillac SRX. It was not hard to spot in the pool of dark-colored cars in the carpark of the hospital. In fact, it was obviously brand new
After settling on the passenger's seat, Liz took the back seat and had her arms akimbo while looking anywhere else but Darren's
Darren, however, made small talk with me for the rest of the ride, making me laugh and forget the stress of the day. When we arrived at the subdivision in QC where I've been staying at our old house, I couldn't help but notice how, from time to time, he would steal that all-too-knowing glimpse on Liz in the backseat
Sighing, I sank into the seat some more and smiled "You know guys, even though you deny it on my face, I could feel the tension you know"
Liz just rolled my eyes at me and I couldn't help but laugh. Darren pretend he didn't hear me tho and continued to eye the road in front of us
And when we finally reached my place, I saw another car parked right at the side of the gate. It was an unfamiliar Gray Maserati GrandTurismo and if it wasn't for Liz, I wouldn't know that it was Travis'
Darren exited the car with an easy grace, and extended his hand to assist me. Strong fingers wrapped around mine, enveloping with incredible heat.
My lips tightened, I certainly did not find it as amusing as Darren did, but the next step hurt less, the next one even less than that.
A minute later, I no longer really needed him to support myself as I limped along beside him, the pain having faded to a dull ache that sharpened if I increased my stride by so much as an inch beyond half a foot ahead of me and put too much weight on my hurt side. I did not let go of his arm, however.
Looking up as I stood, our eyes met...for a timeless moment frozen, staring.
Liz faint cough brought me back to the present and the realization that Travis' was there on his glory leaning so casually on the doorframe
"Bro" Darren uttered giving Travis a quick nod but Travis' eyes remained glued to mine and I couldn't even look away. He wore black- all black- his eyes the darkest hazel I'd seen. I shuddered. It was magnetizing and with so much intensity I couldn't even fathom where he's getting all these emotions
I broke away from his gaze before I lost my composure and behaved like a love-sick teenager, lost in his eyes. I didn't dare trust myself to look at Travis.
"I'll take it from here, Man" Travis said grabbing my bag from Darren.
"Trav, don't forget the hot and cold compress okay? Nikki's hip needed that" Liz butted in and handed him a doctor's order "And an ibuprofen if it the pain is intolerable". Travis just gave her a nod but his eyes were still intense on Darren
"Thanks, Liz.. Darren"
"No prob, Monique. See you" Darren waved at me after Liz gave me a hug. I gave him a deer-in-the-headlights look, but he only smiled and closed the gate behind him on his way out just walking behind Liz.
And Travis spun, gripping my forearm gently, leading me through the door and effortlessly lifted me up to the ground as we venture the stairs. Gasping, I struggled against him; but I didn't mean it. I was caught in the slick web of intrigue
Why is he here?
"I told manang to prepare you a warm bath and your favorite chicken soup" Travis was a gentleman and walked beside me, rather than behind me this time and gently laid me down on my bed
"Why are you doing this, Trav?" He stopped for awhile and regarded me a look
"Seriously?" Travis smirked; leaning back against my cabinet, he crossed his arms. I found my eyes drifting over his suit- the tight black complimenting his strong presence. I shivered, again- although I wasn't sure why.
"Yeah, Seriously, Trav. " I threw my hands up in frustration and sighed "One moment you make me the only girl you have eyes on and then the next you hate me" I froze- my heart ripping from my chest
Relishing my pained confusion, Travis stepped nearer. "I don't hate you"
I closed my eyes. This conversation was going downhill fast. I just couldn't seem to stop myself from making it worse. Then I opened my eye and said"Wow. You don't hate me? Kaya pala lagi akong umiiyak sayo 'no. Kaya pala Nakakaumay na. Nakakagago na. Kaya pala Nakakasakal na. Kaya---"
I gasped in surprise as he brought his mouth down on mine again, ruthlessly thrusting his tongue between my lips and teasing me.
He stopped me with a kiss and when he drew back, I would have tried to speak again. He lifted his hand and traced his fingertips across my lips. His action stopped me from saying anything. His eyes said it all.
"I dont get you, Travis.. I dont get you at all but ---"
Then he kissed me again and this time he was ruthless, demanding and I gave in to it. He thrust his tongue into my mouth as his hands moved on my sides. Just as his fingers made hot contact with my bare skin, he pushed into me with his hips and I felt his arousal against my body.
The buzzing sound at my head kept beeping—warning me that this is wrong but my heart was making an overdrive on my hormone. In that moment I realized what I was about risk, and I contemplated if it was really worth it.
His hands felt for my face and our lips met in a gentle kiss. The kiss at first seemed tentative, but then our tongues felt over each others, everything else followed suit.
He kissed the side of my neck; I shuddered slightly from it.
"Travis!" I moaned. My hands held him down to my direction as we both crash the bed, feeling his chest press against my own breasts, making my nipples tingle with excitement.
He ran his tongue over the underside of my chin, and when he was done he continued downward to the my chest. I could only muttered a sigh. My hands caressed his hair while my hips involuntarily pushed up to meet his questing lips.
He leaned in closer to me and kissed me full pouting lips. He guided his swollen glory toward my waiting hole. Once the head was positioned right, he pushed in slowly.
"Go slow. Please." I buried my head into his shoulder to muffle my cries. Travis didn't move, couldn't move. As we stayed joined together without movement, I began to relax and felt Travis as he move again.
Travis looked down into my face. "Monique? Are you okay?"
"Mmm. Just fine." I opened my eyes as my lips curved slightly up. There were too many issues to consider but it didn't stop me. I gave him another small smile. "I love you, Travis"
I watch as emotions conflicted on Travis' face. Those simple words were almost did it. I suddenly felt a vast wave of emotion sweep over me unlike any I had ever felt.
"Monique, I..."
"Shh. Don't say anything. But if you don't move soon, we're going to have some problems."
Travis did as he was told and pulled out of my warm, wet center. When his head was at the very edge of my opening, he thrust in.
Again and again he did this. The emotions I knew he was expressing through our actions heightened this experience to a new level for me. Ourr bodies became one and we made love into the wee hours of the night the soup and the warm bath completely forgotten.
Perhaps, he could feel my center start to grip him even tighter.
Looking into my eyes, he let everything go. He shot his load deep inside me, his seed searching for the ultimate goal. He felt his explosion would never end. Wave after wave of the purest ecstasy engulfed him.
"I love you so much, Trav" I said with so much emotion but he remain indifferent. He didn't say anything to me for several long moments. He looked down and the bed and then turned away from me to look out the window.
"I wish I could turn back time to when everything was perfect. Remember how close we use to be?" He glanced at my side of the bed as I slowly sat up to pull the covers with me. He didn't say anything but it felt like he was just seeing me through with those emotionless eyes he has.
"How things between us went so well, and how we it felt like we would last forever? What happened to that? I miss the old us Trav, but as much as I reminisce about how we use to be, it won't change how we are now. Things aren't the same anymore and we are not what we use to be"
Travis leaned back, eyebrows raised so far they threatened to come off his face and he was silent for a long time. He was quiet for a very long time, I looked down, aversed to looking him in the eyes as intently as he was looking into mine. He closed his eyes as if he was in pain and took a deep breath that he let out slowly. He opened his eyes and looked at her.
" I know that no matter how hard we try" I bawled me hands into fist, grasping the covers between my fingers tightly as I could "Things won't go back to the way they used to be before, nothing ever does anyway but.." I looked up and bravely gazed back at Travis "I wanted you to know Trav, I still feel the same way... I still love you so much"
He didn't say anything but looked away as he stared through that old photograph on my night stand, I'm feeling a touch uncomfortable because he sees right through me into that deepest part of myself yet he didn't say anything and I was left feeling tired to the soul.
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(A/N: Like my page to keep track on upcoming updates/teasers/ Hit the external link and it'll lead you there. Liz Yuchengco on the right
Hmm. Speaking of Liz, what do you think is between Darren and Liz?)