:) Almost there. To everyone who read this story, thank you for coming this far. I really do love you all. Almost there.
Recap
My grip loosened and I just lay on top of him. There was literally one second of silence before a whole commotion started that I didn’t open my eyes to watch.
“Nathan.” I heard Ryder’s voice say, “Nate! This isn’t– this can’t happen. Stay awake, please. I love you. I love you so much. Stay with me.” Gosh, stop shaking me Ryder…. “Nate, I’m so, so sorry. I love you. Na– SOMEONE HELP HIM! HE’S–”
“I love you too.” I whispered. Or at least I think I did. I might’ve been dreaming already.
And I welcomed the sleep.
I welcomed the dream that reunited me with the only thing that mattered, even if that one thing was screaming his head off.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Damn it. Damn everything.
The doctors said “if” he woke up. If.
Why did it come to this? Why did his life suck so much? Why only now was Mr. Steven being sent to prison, and being forced to stay there for the rest of his life?
What did Nathan do to deserve this?
I wiped a tear that fell from face as he slept and held his hand, leaning down till my head touched the bed.
“I’m sorry.” I whispered. I felt the tears fall. One by one. “I’m sorry.”
I hadn’t left his side for the two days since he got out of the ER. Suddenly his head rolled to the side and I glanced up. His face was twisted in pain and his eyes squeezed shut even though he was sleeping. It looked like he was having a nightmare. My heart shuttered and I closed my eyes, making more tears of mine fall onto his palm where I kissed. “It’s okay.” I whispered. “You’re safe. It’s okay, everything is okay.”
I felt another sob bubble in my throat. It hurt.
His finger twitched and I shot up. All I saw were half opened blue eyes. And I went absolutely still. His eyes were so clear. So vibrant compared to his skin.
He woke up. He woke up! My heart beat wildly as we stared at each other for a full minute. The beating of the monitor increased ever so slightly.
He parted his dry lips. I prepared to hear him tell me to go away, or…or something about the last week. I was ready to answer any questions, reassure him I would never leave him. But in a small, tired whisper, all he said was, “I don’t like hospitals.”
And I totally lost it.
“I’m sorry.” I cried as tears fell from my eyes, “This whole time, I just– I– I’m sorry.” I touched my forehead on his hand, wishing he could just read my mind and understand everything I was sorry for.
I felt him tug his hand away and slowly my heart broke– until he raised it slightly and wiped and the tears on my cheek. “This is the first time I’ve seen you cry…I don’t like it.” He paused and frowned. “Did you and Marcus finish the project for Math?”
…what?
For some reason in that moment, I realized everything was going to be okay. I don’t know why, but that was the moment. I mean, heck! He was thinking about school! But a second later, as he continued saying random stuff, I realized his hands were shaking and he was trying desperately not to cry and lose himself in front of me. He was trying not to face what happened, but everything was coming back to him. And he just didn’t want to cry in front of me.
“Nathan.” I said quietly. He stopped whispering to himself and looked at me, half afraid. “It’s okay.” His lips parted and I looked him in the eye, saying, “You don’t have to pretend.”
After a quiet moment his lip trembled and he squeezed his eyes. He brought his other arm and draped it across his face as he clenched his jaw and tried to keep himself from sobbing. But I saw the first few tears fall down his face and onto his pillow.
“Is it over?” He asked in a voice that shook so much I’m surprised he was able to speak at all.
“Yeah…yeah. It’s over.” I smiled slightly. “You’re safe. It’s all over. Kristy shot him and–”
“She what?!” He lifted his arm and looked at me in shock. Oh yeah, I wasn’t supposed to tell him that part.
“Marcus got pulled over for his driving on the way to the house. So I ran the last part by myself. He was supposed to get the police, but instead Kristy got both the ambulance and police, and when they got there, she grabbed one of their guns and broke into the house without back up. She shot him right when he…yeah.”
He looked at me with huge eyes. “You’ve got to be kidding m–…KRISTY!” He said loudly and instantly the door shot open and she burst in, pushing me aside rudely and launching herself at his neck where she strangled– I mean, hugged him. He winced and tried to sit up against the head board.
“OH MY GOD, NATHAN!” I pulled her off of him as he tried to breathe and adjust himself.
“Did you steel a gun from a cop and shoot him?!”
“What else am I supposed to do?!”
“I don’t know, wait for the police?”
“Well, at least I know how thankful you are for my quick thinking.”
I stared at them as they argued until they stopped in silence. I got a good look at Kristy for the first time and realized she was struggling to keep her cool.
“I–I thought you weren’t going to wake up.” She said, but a tremble in her voice betrayed her struggling voice. “I was afraid I wouldn’t make it in time.” Right at the end, her voice broke and she took a big breath as a tear escaped and she blink furiously.
Nathan looked at her in surprise. Then he gave a heart–breaking smile. “Thanks Kristy.”
“No problem.” She choked out, still trying to remain strong. “You’re such an idiot.” She hugged him again, gently this time. He closed his eyes and smiled, but something seemed off. Was something bothering him?
“Where’s Marcus?”
“In time-out.” She said immediately.
He raised an eyebrow. “Time-out?”
“Instead of getting the cops, he went straight to this guys house.” She jabbed a thumb at me. “And, he got pulled over by a cop! He didn’t have the common sense to not pull over until he got to you, and drag the cop into the house. So as his girlfriend, I have the right to put him in time-out.”
“Girlfriend?” I asked in surprise. “So sometime during this whole mess, you and Marcus got together?”
She winked. “Remember that chapter we went to the movies?”
“Chapter 15?”
“Yup.”
“Wow.”
She leaned to Nathan and kissed the top of his head, and tried to whisper, “Grandma needs to talk to you later,” without me hearing. She stood up and faced me. She took a deep breath and whispered fiercely, “I don’t care if he forgives you. I wont forgive you until you make it up to him and he’s the happiest gay boy in the world of rainbows.”
I nodded quickly, kind of afraid of what she’d do to me if I didn’t nod. She smiled at Nathan one last time and backed out of the room, yelling, “MARCUS, HE’S UP! AND WHO SAID YOU COULD LEAVE YOUR SEAT?!”
Finally there was silence.
I looked down at Nathan as he continued to stare at the door where Kristy left. My eyes fell on a boy about my age with black hair sitting in a hospital bed. He turned to me with unsure, blue eyes. The sleeves of his hospital gown ended half way down his arms, and an IV tube was visible where it poked near the new bandages on his wrist. His face was horribly bruised, his neck red. And everything under the gown and blankets were scars that will heal over time, and scars that will never fade.
“I really don’t like hospitals.” He whispered again. I sat down next to him on the bed and faced him completely. I hugged him. He cringed a bit at the sudden human touch but he didn’t pull away.
“It’s okay.” I said. “This will be the last time.”
“Where is he?” He asked in a trembling voice as he closed his eyes.
“Jail.” I muttered, “My dad is making sure of it.”
“Your dad?”
“He’s a lawyer. Don’t worry Nate, when my mom told him, he jumped on the case. He wants that guy put away almost as much as all of us.”
He was silent for a little bit. “A-are you okay?”
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“He s-stabbed you, right?”
I pulled away and lifted up my shirt, showing him the gauze wrapped around my torso. “Barely a scratch.” Actually, he barely missed one of those important organs. I lost a lot of blood, but I got out only an hour after Nathan.
He nodded. I let the peace settle over us for a moment as he stared out the window that was too far for him to see anything.
“Thank you.”
He turned his head to look at me with a surprised face.
“The whole time, you were trying to protect me.” I clenched my hands in my lap, “And I–”
"It's okay." He smiled faintly, and looked at me with slight confusion. "I forgive you."
"No…how could you forgive me? I don't…I really don't deserve–"
"You don't get it." He whispered. "I meant for all of that to happen. I kn-knew what I was starting. I…" He paused and shook his head. "This was going to happen whether I…pushed you away or not. I would have died hating my life if I hadn't met you. You ended up running after me anyway. You came back in the end. No matter what, you came back."
"…but–"
“I love you.”
I looked at him with wide eyes.
He looked a little embarrassed at his words. And scared. And worried. And troubled. As if he was afraid I wouldn’t forgive him, or I didn’t feel the same way.
I leaned in slowly. He began trembling and automatically leaned back. His fear of being touched and being hurt was back. I didn’t blame him. I cupped his face and pressed my lips against his. He breathed in through his nose deeply and amazingly he stopped shaking. But then something even more amazing happened– he kissed me back.
I wrapped my arms around him and buried my face in his neck, taking in everything about him.
And I thanked every God, real and fake, that he was alive.