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Sunday, October 30th
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I was cleaning the table when my father spoke up. "So Mark," I turned to him. "Jack, what's uh, going on with you two? You seem to be spending a lot of time with one another."
"Is there a problem with that?" I asked.
"Look I know how you feel when it comes to dating so I was just wondering if there was any ties between you and him in that area." My father tried to avoid particular words as much as possible, I just don't think he could stomach their harsh reality.
"What? With that boy?" My mother spoke. "Oh no. No, no. No way."
"What? What's the matter with him?" I asked, instantly becoming defensive. I really cared about Jack and I didn't appreciate her tone.
"You can do so much better than that boy. There are things that are wrong with him." She told me, she refused to make eye contact with me and she kept her voice hushed but it was still insulting. "His mother told us things that I think you should consider. After all. It may be more work that you want to be with this kid."
"What are you talking about? What does it matter what happened in the past?" I asked. I was beginning to become irritated. I saw nothing wrong with Jack.
"Mark we just think he may be more than you can handle." My father put a hand on my shoulder and I pushed him down. "Don't get me wrong, I really like Jack."
"But you don't, do you?" I turned to my mother. Glaring at her.
"Let me finish," my father sighed so that I never got an answer. "We think that with your past.. issues we think that you need to focus on yourself."
"Ugh, stop dodging around it! Just fucking say it!" I shouted and my parents stood in shock, I never swore or shouted at them. "Just say it! I know what it is so there's no problem in just saying it!"
"Mark don't you dare cuss or raise your voice to us." My father huffed. "We think that you should work on your own problems. You need to have to have stopped cutting yourself before you can help someone like him!"
"There's nothing wrong with him! You're saying this because everything in your life has always been perfect!" I paused and took a deep breath, my voice calming. "Except for me."
"Mark, come on now." My father sighed. "You know that's not true and we love you very much."
"Then why can't you just support my decisions instead of acting like this about it!" I huffed.
"You are acting like a child!" My mother snapped at me. "Grow up, Mark! Life doesn't always go your way. It's about time you've learned that.."
"Life might not always go my way but you don't control that." I said condescendingly to them. "I can do whatever and be with whoever I want."
"Mark you don't know what you're getting yourself into. You're just confused." My mother sighed.
"You're only saying that because he's a guy and you're really hoping I've changed my mind about being gay." I huffed. "I really like Jack, flaws and all! You just don't understand him like I do!"
My eyes wandered over to the doorway and I could see Jack peeking his head in a little bit. I felt nervous. "Jack..?"
He took a few steps into the room and both my parents stood in absolute shock. He tried to avoid their gaze as he looked down at his hands which he was fumbling with. I watched him carefully and waited for him to say something.
"I-I can go.." He mumbled.
"Jack, we're - "
"It's alright Mr. Fischbach." Jack said and wiped his nose with his sleeve. "I.. I understand."
"Good." My mother folded her arms. "Problem solved."
"Shannon!" My father snapped at her. "Jack, I'm sorry alright? I really do like you. I think you're a great boy and -"
"I get it." Jack put up a hand to stop my father's rambles. "I do. Really." He took a deep breath and sighed. "I don't agree though."
"What?" My mother questioned.
"You don't know enough about me to make those assumptions." Jack shrugged, folded his arms and kicked his foot. "There's no way you could know, even my own mother doesn't."
"What are you getting at?" My father asked.
"You said there's too much wrong with me." Jack answered. "But do you know what's wrong with me?"
"Yeah, your mother told us." My father breathed out and looked Jack up and down. He waited for him to say it. "I know what your father did to you."
"Mhm." Jack nodded. "I'll admit that it never left me the same, but that doesn't mean there's something wrong with me." I could see the grim look on my father's face, and then Jack tilted his head to the side. "This isn't about me, is it? I'm just a scapegoat."
"What is he talking about?" I finally spoke up. I looked to my parents and they exchanged glances. "What is he talking about?" I repeated myself, hoping it would get me an answer.
"Look, we just.." My father dropped off.
"I don't approve of you dating other boys, Mark. I think you need to take a long time to think about if this is actually what you want." My mother folded her arms, she - unlike my father - was not afraid to state what she thought. She did not like to be patient and drag out explanations. "You need to rethink it."
"So.. If Jack was a girl, you wouldn't have cared at all?" I said, I could feel my hands beginning to shake. They always said they supported me but.. "When it comes down to it, you just hate the fact that I'm gay, and that I ruined any plans you might have for me. You act like you care, when you don't at all."
"We do care, and that's why we're saying this." My mother sighed.
"No, you don't." I felt tears fill my eyes. "I can't believe this." I turned and pushed straight by Jack who followed closely behind me as I walked outside the house. He put a hand on my arm as I wiped my eyes.
"Mark?" Jack said quietly. He was so much calmer about it than I was. I turned back to the house to see my parents standing there. My father looked so concerned, but my mother.. Not so much. I knew she was to blame because I swear, sometimes my father could never think for himself.
"Come on." I sniffled as I pulled him over to my car. He stood there while I got in the other side and my parents stood wide eyed when Jack climbed in the passenger seat with me. I drove off like a maniac until I felt like I was far enough away from the house, pulling over to the side of the road I let out a sigh. "I don't know where I'm going.."
"Do you want to talk about this?" Jack asked. "I'm sorry that I caused such.. A divide in your house."
"No, it's fine. I can't believe it though." I whimpered as I began to break down, I laid my head on the steering wheel as I held to myself tightly. "How they could just say those kinds of things in order to convince me to dislike you so that I wouldn't be dating guys.."
I felt Jack rubbing my back as he leaned onto my shoulder before securing his arms around me. He kissed my temple and whispered sweet nothings into my ear. "It'll be alright. I'll stay with you as long as you want me to. I love you." I turned my head up to Jack and he smiled at me before wiping the tears off of my face.
"I can't believe I just ran out like that.." I muttered. "What am I going to do now?"
"You can come to my house." Jack said. "I'm sure my mother would be thrilled to see you again. She really likes you."
"Does it not bother you what my parents said?" I asked.
Jack thought about it. "I mean, yeah I'm pretty screwy in the head, but I don't think that impacts our relationship. Plus, the best way to get better - I have found - is doing so with another person. So no, it doesn't really bother me. It just bothers me that they upset you."
I let out a sigh and let my head fall back. "I love you." Jack told me for a second time and I turned to see his slightly smiling face. "I won't ever leave because of what someone else thinks."
I pulled Jack over onto my lap so he was sitting comfortably. I pulled his face down to mine and pushed my lips against his, I didn't think we had ever kissed enough but this time it felt more heated. I could feel his tongue slip into my mouth and his hips grinding down onto me. I let out a sharp moan and slid my hands up the bottom of his shirt while his hands ran through my hair. Before I even made an attempt to pull Jack's shirt off, he pulled his face off of mine, wiping the saliva from underneath my lip and giggling a little bit. He pecked my lips once more and climbed back into his seat.
"What was that?" I sat up.
"I'm not about to take advantage of you." Jack eyed me carefully. "You were just really upset and I doubt me being sexual is going to help it."
"Jack.." I huffed. "What am I supposed to do with.." I trailed off when I realized what I was going to say.
"Fix it?" Jack laughed lightly. "I'm not comfortable enough to fix it for you."
"You can't just do stuff like that and leave me hanging." I said.
Jack bit his lip and smiled, his eyes wandering down. "It's not really.. Hanging though."
"Jack!" I groaned as I slammed my face down on the steering wheel, hearing a loud honk that made me jump.
"Also," Jack snickered. "I felt your hands going up my shirt and I'm not taking my shirt off in your car. Why don't we just go back to my house and you can rest up a little and perhaps take care of that problem. I hope my mother isn't home."
"Fuck my life.." I groaned as I ran a hand down my face.
"Just drive." Jack laughed at me, I felt him grab my hand and smile at me. "I love you."
"Yeah fuck you." I huffed.
"You really want to, don't you?" Jack chuckled. "I'll keep that in mind."
"Are you serious?" I let out a sigh as I pulled out onto the street.
"Who knows?" Jack shrugged. "After all, I don't think I'm a bottom."
"What? You're totally a bottom." I scoffed.
"No way! Why would I be the bottom?" Jack whined.
"I'm bigger and stronger than you are." I snickered.
Jack thought about it for a moment. "What does that have to do with anything?"
"You just won't be able to drive it home like I can." I said and I waited for Jack to process what I just said. He looked very confused for a few minutes before his eyes grew wide.
"What the hell is wrong with you!?" Jack huffed. "I'm done with this conversation."
"Good." I smiled. "Cause I totally top." I felt my mood become better almost instantly, it was just as if being around Jack was enough to make me happy and whether or not that was true, I didn't care. But all I knew was I never ever wanted to let go of his hand.
~AN
Homosexuality should never be frowned OOOoooOoOooOOOn. I wrote this with like a sing-song kind of voice in my head so. Just go with it.
AHHHHhhhhHhahahahhahahah. I'm losing it.
Rinny!