Two days later.
It was two days later that my ignoring Ann and anything that had to do with her came to an end. I dared to check my phone for the first time in 48 hours and found out that I had a few unread messages, one of which was from Ann.
'Are you coming tonight?'
It had been sent two hours ago and had the awesome effect of making me as anxious as possible at the thought of seeing her tonight.
I honestly don't know why I'd been hiding inside my room for two whole days after what happened with Ann the last time I saw her. In fact, for the first time it had actually ended on a somehow positive note, seeing as she hadn't said or done anything to deny her or my actions. My hiding had more to do with not knowing what to expect from her next. We'd been going around in circles for months, everything always felt like a big deja vu and now, for the first time, the circle had been broken. For the first time she hadn't gone running after the incident or hadn't denied it had actually happened, or at least not yet.
I was scared, I guess. What if as soon as she saw me she'd pretend that we were the best of friends, but friends who did not kiss each other? What if she'd want to talk and deny everything for the nth time? And what if things between us had actually changed for real this time? This last thought was probably even scarier to me, because it felt unfamiliar, it was an unknown situation that I had never even dared to think about before.
I decided that if I wanted to find out I had to see her. And I decided that if things got back into our well known loop, I'd end things between us because we couldn't go on this way anymore. I wrote a quick reply to her message saying that I'd be there after dinner and she almost immediately replied with an 'ok'.
Putting away my phone, I wondered what I'd do for the next four hours and thought that the best thing for me was trying to take a nap so I could at least stop over thinking everything.
***
8.32 pm and I was taking a deep breath before knocking on the now over familiar door.
I was nervous, way more nervous than I should be actually. I felt like a 16 year old boy who was about to break up with his first girlfriend because she didn't love him.
I knocked quietly, half hoping that she wouldn't hear. Instead, I found the door opening almost immediately. I saw Kaylee, Ann's sister, standing in front of me. She was wearing a jacket, a scarf, gloves and boots and I realized she was probably leaving, thank God.
She smiled at me and hugged me saying she was sorry she had to leave and that Ann hadn't told her I was coming, otherwise she would have freed herself to stay another couple of hours. I saw Ann glare at her and I couldn't help but laugh. That earned me another glare, directed at me this time. Okay, so Ann wasn't in the best mood tonight and I thought that couldn't be anything but a positive factor in order to resolve the situation.
When Kaylee left and the door closed behind me, an awkward silence fell between us. I didn't know what to say and apparently neither did she.
I cleared my throat and said a simple 'hi'.
"Hi." She repeated but didn't look at me as she started walking towards the kitchen.
I followed her silently all the while thinking about what to say. But she beat me to it when she suddenly turned around, halfway through the kitchen and stopped me in my tracks.
"Cam, can I ask you something?" She still wasn't looking at me.
"Uh, yeah?" I replied lamely, now ten times more anxious than when I came in.
"Well, it's stupid, but... are you mad at me?" She finally dared to look at me, probably noticing my brows furrow in confusion.
"What?" I asked, as if I hadn't understood her.
"Are you mad at me?" She repeated.
"No, why would I be?" I said. I was honestly clueless about where all of this was coming from. When she didn't say anything, I added, "Should I be mad at you?"
"No." She replied quickly and turned back around.
I was a little confused. I grabbed her wrist gently, willing her to turn around. When she looked at me, I said, "What's going on?"
"Nothing." She freed her hand and busied herself in the kitchen. I was left there standing, wondering what I'd done wrong now, seeing as we hadn't spoken in two days.
I deliberated if staying silent was the best course of action. And it probably would have been, I thought a moment later, when words started coming out of my mouth. "Can you tell me why you think I'm mad at you? We haven't seen each other for two days, you're the one who invited me here tonight and I'm sure I haven't done anything that implies-"
"That's the point," she said turning around again, "you should be the one telling me what you're thinking! First you... do what you do, and then, you disappear for two days. Now tell me what would you be thinking in my position."
We had raised our voices. Ann was leaning against the counter, a knife she used to cut some vegetables in her hand, while I was standing in the middle of the kitchen. I paused before speaking in order to make sense of things first.
"I thought everything was fine when we left things the last time..." I started taking a few steps towards her, feeling awkward talking across the room.
"I thought so too," she said bitterly, "before you disappeared completely."
I stopped in front of her. "I still don't understand what the problem is though?"
She sighed. "The problem is that-" she stopped mid sentence, "what are you doing?" I'd gotten distracted looking at her hair and wasn't listening, she noticed.
"Nothing." I said and took a step back. "Uh, can you put that knife down, please?" I asked.
The request momentarily broke the tension because she smirked and held it in front of me. "Scared?"
I paused and we made eye contact, holding it for a few moments. I was the one smirking now, "No, but I can't kiss you if you threaten me with a knife." As expected she blushed, but then got visibly mad.
"You see? That's the problem!"
"The problem is that I can't kiss you?" I was playing with fire and I knew it, in fact the knife she was holding was getting increasingly closer to me.
"Cam..." She threatened.
I held both of my hands up in surrender, "Okay, okay... but put the knife down before you stab me."
She did put the knife down, turning briefly around in order to leave it on the counter. In that moment I took a step closer so that when she turned back around we were inches apart.
I put my hands on the counter, trapping her in between and when she tried to push me away I didn't budge.
"Okay, now we can talk." I said and smiled looking down at her.
"You're insufferable." When I kept smiling, she added, "Let me go."
"Not before you say what the problem is."
"You can't threaten me." She protested, putting a hand on my stomach in order to push me away.
"How am I threatening you? I'm not holding a knife."
"You've trapped me and are refusing to move." She was getting frustrated and, since her attempts to free herself failed, she gave up completely and sighed while leaning more into the counter and away from me.
"Yes," I conceded smiling, "but the worst that can happen is-"
"No." She cut me off.
I acted dumb, even though I knew she had understood what I had been about to say. "What 'no'?"
Ann glared at me. "'No' to whatever you were about to say." She clarified quickly. "And don't act like you weren't about to say what you were about to say."
I laughed, but her glare made me assume a more serious expression. "Okay, let me finish the sentence then." I cleared my throat, "The worst that can happen is me kissing you-"
"No." She said again, satisfied that she had assumed correctly.
I pouted. "Or... you kissing me." I added then, seeing her blush.
She recovered fast enough to shoot me down as always though. "In your dreams." She said and resumed her futile attempts at escaping.
I stopped her by putting my hands around her waist. We then proceeded to stare at each other for what was probably a good 10 seconds. I could have leaned in at any moment and kissed her and she would't have pushed me away (or, at least, that's what I thought). But I wanted her to acknowledge it this time.
"Tell me you don't want me to kiss you." I said out of the blue, taking her by surprise.
"I don't want you to kiss me." She repeated.
"Uhm..." I pretended to be deliberating her answer. "Then tell me you don't want to kiss me."
She sighed, "I don't want to kiss you."
"Okay." I said but didn't move. "Then tell me-"
"Cam," she interrupted me, "shut up."
"But-" I protested, before I could say anything though, she reached up and kissed me quickly on the lips. I was left petrified on the spot. I looked at her, eyes wide in surprise.
"What?" She asked dismissively. "So you can finally let me go now."
I was still standing there, seemingly having lost the ability to speak, move or breathe as she freed herself easily now. When I regained my senses, I followed her to the living room and to the so familiar couch. She sat down and so did I. She turned on the Tv and pretended to be watching it. All the while I was watching her.
"You..." I cleared my throat as I got her attention, "you just kissed me." I said.
"Yeah, I did." She confirmed with fake confidence.
"You kissed me for the first time." I specified.
"Well," she quickly backpedaled, "I wouldn't call that a kiss per se... but it worked."
"It worked?"
"You let me go."
"Oh." I said. "So now if I want to get out of something, I can kiss someone and it would work?"
"Don't get any weird ideas," she warned me, "you can get sued if you kiss the wrong person."
"Oh, so are you going to sue me? What are you going to say, that you enjoyed it way too much?" I smirked, waiting for her reaction.
Of course, she got mad and I tried to block her hands when she tried to hit me. I was laughing when she stopped her assault. "I did not enjoy anything too much." She stated emphatically.
"Well," I shrugged, "you weren't complaining the last time." I said and observed her reaction. She was avoiding my gaze, probably scared to face the truth. "Or the time before that..." I added as an afterthought.
She turned on the couch to face me now. "Cam." She said but left it at that.
We stared at each other for seconds in silence.
"Can I kiss you now?" I said, almost whispering.
Her eyes widened but she readily replied, "No."
I chuckled. "Okay."
Of course, then, I leaned in and did in fact kiss her. And she didn't protest much at all. We got so caught up in it that I almost fell off the couch when I tried to shift a bit.
And it was great, making out for minutes with someone you constantly think about, someone you've had in your mind for months.
When we broke it off there was embarrassment from the both of us this time. I was probably more embarrassed than Ann, actually. I was even scared to look at her.
I awkwardly went to get a glass of water in the kitchen while she remained there on the couch, trying to regain her composure.
When I came back, the tension seemed to have eased a bit. I cleared my throat as I sat down on the couch, to announce my presence. Ann looked at me briefly before resuming pretending to be watching the TV.
"I hope you don't sue me." I tried joking. It made her smile, although she tried to hide it.
After a moment of silence, I tried easing the awkwardness again. "What are you watching?"
"Uh," she was caught off guard, "I'm not sure." Then, after checking with the remote, she announced, "Some documentary about something."
I smiled, "Okay."
After another moment of silence, she faced me. "Are you going to leave anytime soon? She asked.
"Uh... I thought I was gonna sleep here?"
When her eyes got wide at the realization of what that could mean, I laughed, "I'll be sleeping on the couch, don't worry."
She sighed. "Did I already say you were insufferable?"
I grinned. "Yep, a couple times."