Chapter 70: Love and Death
I was pleased with the way Draco and my Defense Against the Dark Arts lessons with Severus Snape were going. I could feel us growing stronger each week. We had learned how to fight together, and our power was enhanced because of it. By Thanksgiving, we had gotten some advanced magic, which raised my confidence in our ability to survive the future.
"Today I want to practice casting a Patronus," Severus said that Thursday evening. He stood facing Draco and me in his office; we listened attentively. "Crystal, I know you have already acquired this particular skill, so I want you to help Draco."
I nodded. "Ok."
"Isn't casting a Patronus supposed to be really hard?" Draco asked.
"It is," Severus said, "especially a corporeal Patronus, but even a non-corporeal Patronus will help protect you against dementors, which you will likely have to face if there is a battle. A corporeal Patronus is one that is fully-formed, taking the shape of an animal. The specific animal forms that corporeal Patronuses take vary from person to person and reflect each individual's personality... or something important to the person."
I smiled, understanding the implication. "And they can send messages, right?" That was something he had taught me the previous year.
Severus nodded. "Correct. Dumbledore invented this technique, and it is the way in which the Order communicates. Furthermore, it can be a means to decipher who is a friend and who is a foe. Most dark wizards who try to produce a Patronus will be devoured by maggots that come from their wand."
Draco and I shared shocked glances.
"However," Severus continued, "some exceptionally powerful dark wizards will be able to produce a Patronus without any problem." He turned to Draco. "To cast a Patronus, you must focus on the happiest memory you can think of while drawing circles with your wand in order to increase the power of your spell. When you are ready, say 'Expecto Patronum.'" He looked at me. "Would you like to demonstrate?"
I nodded. Draco looked nervous, so it was probably a good idea to show him how it was done. I took out my wand and closed my eyes while taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly. I decided to choose a new, more recent memory; I focused on the moment when Draco came back to me. Then I opened my eyes, pointed my wand to the ceiling and said, "Expecto Patronum!" A bright light issued from my wand, and my bald eagle appeared; it flew around the room before disappearing.
"Excellent," Severus said. "Draco, why don't you try?"
"Ok," Draco said, seeming uncertain. He appeared to be thinking as he twirled his wand in the air. Then he looked up and said, "Expecto Patronum." Nothing happen.
"Try again," Severus said. "It takes practice."
Draco nodded, but I could tell he was frustrated.
I watched him practice for almost an hour. Finally, as Draco said the spell again, a bright, white light emerged from his wand. He seemed surprised at his success.
"Very good," Severus said, appearing pleased. "That is a non-corporeal Patronus."
"But it's not good enough!" Draco said. "I'm relaxed now, so if I have to do the spell in a tough situation, I'm not going to be able to even do that." He looked away and glared at the ground.
Severus glanced at me. "Do you want to help him?"
I nodded. Draco's self-defeating attitude was not helping him. If he had enough confidence n himself, I was sure he could be successful. I walked over to him and touched his arm. "Draco," I said softly.
He lifted his head to meet my gaze. His eyes were filled with fear, frustration and desperation.
"You can do this," I said. Holding his wrist, I carefully pulled back his left sleeve to reveal his Dark Mark, like I had done with Severus two months earlier. With my other hand, I slowly dragged my fingers across the mark. "This means nothing. It is not who you are."
"But-" Draco started to say.
I shook my head and dropped his arm. "You can do this spell; I know you have it in you. You have to believe you can do it. You have a very strong will; I've seen it. Use it to get what you want. Don't give up on yourself."
Draco glanced down at the floor again. It seemed like he was trying to believe me, but he was not quite there yet.
I touched his cheek and gently turned his face so that he was looking at me. "Do it for me." I moved my hand to the back of his neck so that I could push his head down and kiss him forcefully. He responded immediately, wrapping his arms around me and pulling me close to him. I could feel the fire growing in him that would allow him to succeed in this task.
I pulled back and smiled at him, our arms still around each other; his gaze had grown in intensity. "I love you, Draco," I whispered. "Now cast a Patronus."
He nodded wordlessly. We let go of each other, and I stepped back. I watched as he took a deep breath before pulling out his wand. It took him a minute to finally look up and say, "Expecto Patronum!"
A white form began to emerge from his wand, struggling to get out. Then a corporeal Patronus escaped from the wand. It was an eagle.
Draco and I exchanged a look of surprise. We turned to Severus expectantly.
"Excellent work, Draco," the headmaster said. "Keep practicing and you will be able to produce it when needed."
"But why- why is it the same as Crystal's?" Draco asked. "We don't have the same personality."
My eyes lit up in understanding; I grinned.
Severus caught my eye, and I knew we were thinking the same thing. "Like I said before, it is not always personality," he said. "A Patronus is known to often reflect your love for another person."
Draco turned to me, looking bewildered.
I smiled and nodded. "See? You're good." Then I rushed forward and enveloped him in a hug. I could feel the emotions surging through him as he hugged me back. Neither of us said a word; we didn't have to.
"Thank you," Draco whispered when he finally pulled away from each other.
"Anytime," I said just as softy.
Severus cleared his throat, causing us both to turn to him. "That is enough for today," he said. "I will see you both next week."
I nodded. Suddenly, a thought struck me, and I said to Draco, "Just a minute." I left him standing there looking confused as I trotted over to Severus. "You should tell him."
Severus looked at me blankly. "Tell him what?"
I raised my eyebrows. "You know what. The reason you're on my side." He looked like he was going to protest, so I quickly continued, "He could use a little empathy. It did wonders for me."
Severus hesitated and then said, "Fine. I will think about it."
I grinned at him. "Great, thanks. Have a good night." I skipped back to Draco, and the two of us left the office.
***
Draco and I wandered around outside again on Sunday night. We had found this was the best time when we could be alone and walk freely. We approached the edge of the Forbidden Forest and stopped. "This would be a good place to explore," I mused.
"But it's against the rules," Draco reminded me.
I smirked. "That's never stopped me before."
"It's dangerous."
I frowned. "We'll only go in a little ways. Come on, it will be fun."
Draco seemed to be debating with himself; he finally nodded. "Alright. Not too far, though."
I grinned at him. "Of course." We entered the forest together. I looked left and right as we walked, looking for any sign of life. I loved running into animals and magical creatures; they were all fascinating in their own way. Simply walking among the trees, something I had often done in Minnesota, was nice as well.
I saw two dark figures in the distance. Curiously, I walked towards them. I smiled when I realized what they were: thestrals.
"I've seen this before," Draco murmured. "They were pulling the carriages at the beginning of the year; that was the first time I saw them."
I nodded. "They're thestrals. Only those who have seen death can see them."
Draco seemed startled as he looked at me. "Oh. You-"
"The astronomy tower," I said. "Just like you."
Draco glanced down. "Right. They're a bit tragic, aren't they?"
I shrugged. "I guess so." The thestrals looked at me as I advanced towards them. "Most people think they are an omen of evil, but that's not true. People fear what they do not understand." I reached out my hand and touched one of the thestral's noses; it snorted before lowering its head so that I could pet it. I smiled. "They're simply misunderstood."
Draco had followed me, and was now watching me in interest. "You sound like Hagrid."
"I suppose we do both have a love of creatures others think are dangerous," I said thoughtfully. "I just extend that to people as well. Everyone deserves a chance, right?"
Draco did not say anything. The other thestral had come up to him and was looking at him expectantly. He glanced at me for help, but I just smiled encouragingly. Draco hesitated and then slowly lifted his hand. The thestral lowered its head like mine had. Then, very carefully, Draco placed his hand on its nose. The creature seemed pleased as he moved his hand back and forth.
"There you go," I said happily. "They're not so bad."
"I guess not," Draco mumbled.
A minute of silence passed between us. Then Draco stopped petting his thestral and turned away. I could sense sadness coming off of him, and it worried me. "Draco?" I said as I walked over to him. "Are you alright?"
"I'm fine," Draco said without looking at me.
I frowned. "I don't believe you."
"Fine. I was just thinking about... my parents." He let out a heavy sigh and looked at me. "They're never going to agree to our plan, especially my father. Even after everything that had happened to me last year, he's still trying to get in good with the Dark Lord. I bet he thinks I should have done it. He probably thinks I'm weak."
The anguish in his eyes cut right to my heart. I wanted to do anything I could to make it better. "He loves you," I said. "You need to tell him how you feel."
Draco looked away and scoffed. "That's not going to work. He's never listened to me. And my mother will do whatever he says. We'll never get them to come with us..."
I stood there for a minute thinking about what he said. From what I knew about his parents, it seemed to be true. There had to be a way to get through to them, though. "Maybe if I had a chance to talk to them..." I began.
Draco snapped his head in my direction. "No," he said forcefully. "The only way you could get to talk to them would be to go home with me, and that's not going to happen. Your Slytherin sympathy thing may work here, but it won't be good enough among Death Eaters. There is now way they would allow it."
"You need to question your assumptions," I said as an idea started to form in my mind.
Draco's eyes widened. "Crystal, what are you thinking?"
"I don't know yet," I said honestly. "I need to give it some time."
"Just promise me you won't do anything dangerous."
I smirked. "I think we're way past that." Before he could protest, I leaned into him and gave him a side hug. "Don't worry." He hesitantly wrapped his arms around me, and he did not protest. I knew he would hate the idea I had, which was why I needed time to build a good defense for it. My subconscious was nagging at me to come up with a solution.