-I apologize for the extremely slow updates. I'm way too focused on school to constantly update but I'm about to start trying. I hope you enjoy this chapter!
It had been some time since I last allowed myself to fall victim to Terron. Life was great and to me, it couldn't get any better than this except there was one small problem; I was with child yet again. I wasn't too far along but I was far enough at six weeks. And just like last time, I was clueless as to who the father of this child was.
"You know that I don't support no shit like this La'Kyra." Britni fussed. I rolled my eyes because she forever had something to say.
"This is my body, I will do what I want to."
She sighed and placed the magazine that she was holding in the chair beside her. "Seriously, come on. Another abortion though?"
"Listen, I asked you to come with me for support."
"Okay but I don't support this like I said. I'm only here because I'm a good friend and I don't want you doing this alone even though you shouldn't have to if you were a faithful wife to your husband."
I placed my head in my hands before looking over at her. "You know I can't keep this baby because it may not belong to Marcus."
"Well if you would stop whoring around then you wouldn't be in this situation."
Before I could answer, the medical assistant was calling my name.
"I'll be here waiting." Britni mumbled. I nodded my head that I heard her and walked off to the back to get this procedure over and done with.
------
After the procedure, I went to pick my medication up from the pharmacy and Britni dropped me off at home.
"I'll see you in a few days since you need to recover from that." She spoke.
"Bye." I got out and slammed her car door. That girl knew that she was working my last nerve.
"I may be pregnant Kyra but I will kick your ass. I did nothing to you for you to slam my damn door!" She rolled her window down to yell out at me.
I turned around and glared at her. "Pregnant by a man that you keep running away from and who doesn't even know that you're carrying his second child!" I snapped.
"That may be but at least I know who the fuck my baby's father is!" And with that, she pulled off.
My heart dropped when she said those words to me. I don't mean to bring all that attitude to her especially because I know that her words can cut you deeper than any knife could. When Britni claps back, she really claps back.
Sighing deeply, I unlocked my front door and stepped into my home. After locking the door, I sat on the couch and took a few minutes to rest before getting up to make dinner for Marcus.
I always played the meals that I had to make simple. I wasn't the greatest cook in the world but I could cook well enough to the point that my baby wouldn't be hungry.
As I was finishing up the garlic bread to go with the spaghetti Marcus came walking in.
"Hey baby." I hugged him and stood on my toes to kiss his lips. "How was work?"
"Long as hell. My body is hurting and feels like it's on fire."
"Aw, I'm sorry. How about after dinner I give you a massage and relax your body." I looked into his eyes and softly rubbed his shoulders.
"Mmm, sounds good." He mumbled. "Let me go wash my body real quick. Ten minutes tops."
"Okay." I watched him walk away.
I was so lucky to have him even though I didn't act like it by cheating on him but that's beside the point. I didn't want to lose Marcus. Marcus was one of the best things to ever happen to me.
I sat at the table and lost myself in thought. I knew why I did the things that I did and although I didn't want to blame anyone, I blamed my mother. She taught me to do this.
I saw her do the exact things that I did to Marcus to my father and she never got caught. I had so many "uncles" that it was ridiculous. Yes, she brought me around them and it was our secret. I didn't open my mouth because she would buy me gifts and anything that I wanted. Well. My "uncles" would buy the gifts. I kept it to myself what she did because I like the money and the gifts.
I always thought that my father was a stupid man because he never found out about his wife and her infidelity. It may have been because he was deployed for long periods of time. Hell, for all I know, the man could have had a whole entire family wherever he was at. Maybe that's why I never said anything because he was hardly around and we didn't too much have that father-daughter relationship.
"Kyra!" Marcus yelled my name."
"What Ter- Marcus!" I almost slipped up and called him Terron. Thankful that he didn't catch it.
"I been calling your name for a while. What's up?" He came over and held my face in his hand so that I could look at him. I knew that he was just trying to see if I was going to lie or not.
"Just about my mom. I haven't talked to her in a while."
"You should call her then."
I pecked him on the lips. "I will. Now sit down so I can make your plate."
----
"Gotdamn baby, your hands are feeling like all types of magic right about now." Marcus groaned as my hands massaged his sculpted back.
The lights in the room were low and I had candles burning with some old school 90's slow jams playing in the background.
"If I didn't already marry you I swear that I would marry these hands." He said making me chuckle.
"Boy stop." I continued rubbing his skin. "Turn over so I can get your front."
"You just want to touch all on this six pack, huh?"
"That's what that is under that keg you call a stomach?"
He lifted his head up and looked back at me with a straight face. "You got jokes lil' nigga?"
"Maybe." I smirked at him.
"You don't say that when your forehead be hitting against it though so I'm not even worried."
"Childish." I sang out, climbing off his back and lying beside him.
"Mhm." He hummed.
We lay in silence before he broke it. "You know, there has been something on my mind for a while and I feel like I need to say something because it has to be talked about. I want us to be on the same page here."
My heart began racing and I felt a little lightheaded. What could he possibly want to talk about and what has he been thinking about for all this time? Oh God, what if he knew? I was about to be dead.
"What's up?" I asked.
"Well, we've been married for a little minute now and we still not pregnant. You still on that damn birth control?"
"No." I said without hesitation.
"Well then what's up? I mean, as much sex as we have and there is still no baby. I'm starting to feel as though there is something wrong with me or something wrong with you."
"Baby, maybe it's just not our time." I let out a long and slow breath of air before I continued to speak. "We will have our baby in due time."
"Yeah, you're right I guess." He mumbled while grabbing my hand and lacing our fingers together. "In time it will happen."
"Exactly." I leaned over and kissed his lips.
"I love you, La'Kyra."
"I love you too."
----
It had been a whole week since I had that conversation with Marcus about us not getting pregnant and it was weighing down on me something serious. It was then that I knew for a fact that I couldn't cheat on him any longer.
"Knock knock." I looke up to see Terron standing in the doorway of my office.
"Why are you here?" I asked irritation was lacing my voice.
"C'mon, don't act like that."
I stood and moved to the door of my office and held it open for him to leave. "Please go."
"You don't miss me?" He asked reaching out to push a piece of hair from my face.
"I'm serious Terron. Please just leave." I disregarded what he had asked me because truth was that I did miss sex with him but I didn't miss him. "I don't need you to be around me and you don't need me to be around you. I love my husband and I cannot keep doing this to him, I told you that."
"Kyra, just stop the damn games." He smirked down at me. "You miss the dick and you are standing here trying to convince yourself that you don't. I know that you didn't waste all these years chasing after me and then when you finally get a taste of what you've been chasing you just leave me alone. You haven't been faithful all these years you've been with him. What changed?"
"I love him Terron and I can't keep hurting him like this."
"So, you don't want me anymore? Tell me and I swear that I will leave you alone for good."
Did I really want to say this to Terron? I mean, I know it was wrong to want him and to want to do things with him that only I was supposed to do with my husband. But did I really want to stop?
I looked him dead in his eyes. "I don't want you anymore and whatever we have going on is over. I mean it T."
He just stared back at me and then slowly backed up. "You got it. Even though I know that you don't really mean it, I will respect your wishes. Mark my words, you will be back."
With those words, he left out. I felt bad and as though I had just hurt his feelings. This was for the better. I needed to focus on my husband and my husband only.
I turned to close my door when I heard dramatic hand clapping.
"I may not be speaking to your highly annoying ass today but I am proud of you. You didn't give in." Britni smirked.
I didn't have time for her and her low blows today. "Just like you didn't give in and tell your boyfriend about the baby?" I gave her a fake smile.
"Are you mad because I tell it like it and that I actually got to keep my babies?" She looked at her freshly manicured nails and then back up at me.
I don't even know why I try to come at her when she always comes harder times ten. I slumped down in my chair. "Alright, I give up. You're right."
"Trust me, I know. Now if you will excuse me, I have a date with my man." She left without waiting for a response from me.
Deep down in my heart I was glad that Britni had someone but sometimes I felt a small bit of jealousy. Yes, I had a husband whom I loved with all of my life but it seemed as though I was not truly happy. I felt like my life and freedom was cut short due to my rush to get married. Britni wasn't even married and she had a man who worshipped the ground that she walked on and she wasn't even his wife.
Britni always did have it all while I was always played into the background when we were together. To some people it may sound like jealousy but trust and believe that wasn't the case.
It's just that I want to feel happy too and I wanted her to feel some type of unhappiness. She needed to at least feel what I sometimes feel for once in her life. No, I wasn't going to go after Don and sleep with him. I would never do anything like that to her. I did plan to let him know about this secret pregnancy.
In my opinion, Don had to be dumb as hell not to know. But I couldn't blame him because Britni did have him wrapped around her pretty little manicured finger. It was all in a matter of time where he would find out because I knew that she wasn't going to up and tell him.