Katniss
When I wake, Peeta lies asleep at my side. Almost immediately, I remember Buttercup and my heart jolts in grief. I shut my eyes and force myself to consider all of the good things in my life; Peeta, Willow, peace throughout the country. And the fact that the wedding between the two people who have been in my life for years now is taking place today. Today is the day that I've been considering and preparing myself for, for months. Today is the day I have the privilege in watching Haymitch and Effie join together in love. I can't say I'm not anxious, as the last wedding I attended was my own and I am Effie's maid of honor, though I haven't contributed much to planning the event.
I roll on my side and trace Peeta's jawline with my finger. He stirs and groggily opens his eyes. "Good morning," I whisper softly. He smiles, pulls me tightly to his chest, and kisses the top of my head.
"How do you feel?" he whispers. I hesitate before answering. I know it's silly, but whenever I think of Buttercup it feels like I've lost him all over again.
"Better knowing that I have you here with me," I say and shut my eyes, my head beside his on the pillow. I hear the front door open downstairs and assume it to be Haymitch and Effie. I also assume that one or both of them is panicking about the wedding and is seeking advice from us, which I have never been good at; most likely Effie. I doubt I could provide any more advice than Haymitch did before the games, and I'm not sure if telling Effie to "stay alive" is a very promising option here.
"I almost wish the wedding wasn't today. I just want to lie here with you all day," Peeta sighs.
"Me too," I mumble. "But we should go downstairs before they come up here, don't you think?" Just as soon as I finish speaking, Haymitch and Effie barge through our bedroom door.
I cover my head with the white plush comforter on my bed and grumble something about knocking.
"What are you guys doing?" Haymitch says with a grin. I groan and attempt to bury myself as far as possible beneath the blankets and sheets.
"How about next time you knock?" Peeta asks. I can't see him but I know he's laughing.
"Why?" Haymitch asks, purposely trying to embarrass me. He's practically my father, and he knows that, but he certainly likes to resort to his old ways and try to irritate me. I can feel Peeta laughing from beneath our blankets so I nudge him, a little bit harder than playfully, in the arm. In response, he pulls the comforter over my my head and pulls me into his almost too-tight embrace.
"Peeta!" I complain, but I can't hide my laughter and he knows it.
"Oh please, Haymitch, don't try to embarrass the poor girl any further," Effie sighs. "Now, my stylists will be at my house any minute, so I've sent Haymitch to get dressed over here with Peeta and Katniss, you'll come with me. It's bad luck for the groom to see the bride before the wedding, you know."
Effie goes on to explain the ridiculous myth about grooms and brides and weddings while I practically roll out of bed and go to the closet to get my dress. Effie has chosen a strapless, long lilac colored gown for me to wear. Honestly, I love it. It's simple and elegant, and it fits perfectly on me. When Effie told me that she chose a dress for me, I'll admit I was slightly terrified to see it. I was expecting a large pink tulle gown coated with jewels or other ridiculous trinkets, but really, it was far from my expectations. It matches Effie's white ball gown perfectly. Hers has tiny light purple jewels around the waist and she and I will both be carrying bouquets of purple orchids.
After getting Willow from her crib, who will be staying with Delly for the night, I kiss Peeta goodbye and follow Effie to the house she shares with Haymitch. There, her stylists are already waiting for us. There are two vanities and chairs set up in the kitchen, beside a counter full of makeup and hair products. I specifically tell them that I don't want much of it and they reluctantly agree. A woman, who I assume to be in her thirties, begins to apply a thin layer of makeup to my face. She has strawberry colored hair, light gray eyes, long eyelashes, and freckles dotted across her nose and cheeks.
Effie's stylist is a younger man with gold hair and brown eyes. He doesn't speak much and is extremely concentrated in his work. The girl, whose name I learn to be Shay, doesn't seem to stop speaking. She's constantly asking questions, ranging from things about my morning to wedding details to Peeta. She asks about everything. Everything except for the war and the games, which I expect. Most people tend to avoid those topics at all costs with me.
When I'm finally finished, I look more fake than I'd like, but it's nothing extreme. She has defined my cheekbones, lengthened my eyelashes, darkened my eyes, and covered any scars or blemishes on my face. She's pulled the top half of my hair away from my face in tiny braids on the sides of my head and curled the rest of the pieces around my shoulders.
Effie's face has also been enhanced, but not nearly as drastically as she was in the years when she lived in The Capitol. Her blonde hair has been twisted into a low bun on the side of her head, several pieces left out and curled to frame her face. She looks absolutely beautiful. I'm so unbelievably happy for her and Haymitch. We've all come so far.
When the stylists have finished their work, the two of us change into our dresses. "You look beautiful, Effie. I'm so happy for you," I say.
"Thank you, my dear Katniss. You and Peeta have almost become like children to me, and Haymitch too. And we are so thankful to have the both of you. You've just been through so much and-"
"I know," I say, stopping her before she begins to cry and ruin her freshly done makeup. "And we're thankful for you too. We love you, Effie," I say, pulling her into a hug. I blink away the tears in my eyes, take a deep breath, and pull away. "Are you ready?"
"Yes. I truly am," she says, a gentle smile on her face. We turn away from the mirror and go downstairs to find Peeta waiting for us. I breath catches in my throat when I see him standing there at the bottom of the stairs. He's wearing a light gray tuxedo, a purple tie, and black shoes. His hair has been slicked back and his already bright eyes seem to sparkle. Even after all these years, my heart still seems to skip a beat when I see him. The love that I feel for him has never faded. And it never will.
When I near the base of the staircase, he takes my hand. A large part of me hopes that he'll never let go. He twirls me and pulls me into his arms. "You look so beautiful, Katniss. I love you."
"I love you too," I whisper, placing my hands gingerly on the sides of his face. Just looking at him makes me feel giddy and when he kisses me, I get butterflies in my stomach as if it were the first time we kissed all over again. Of course it isn't. The first time we kissed wasn't even truly real. And we were in the Games. We were hungry, he was sick, and I was desperate. And so I sparked a love story that I myself didn't even believe. Until he was taken from me. Once I lost him, I knew that I never wanted to experience that again. I never wanted to experience life without him. And in those moments, those dark lonely moments of pain and tears and worry, I realized that I loved him. I loved him with every piece of my heart, every bone and muscle in my body, every part of my mind. I loved him. And I still do. Somehow, even after all this time, our love for each other has only grown to be a stronger, more beautiful thing.
I want everyone to feel the way that I do, I want everyone to understand that this sort of powerful feeling of love and affection is possible. It's possible and beautiful and insane and astonishing all at the same time. And I can't wait for Haymitch and Effie to experience this. It's possible that they already have. I've seen the way that he looks at her when she speaks her nonsense. I've seen the way she touches him with such care and understanding when he's upset. These two people, who used to feud and fight over everything constantly, have now come together to promise to love each other forever. And I'm so extremely honored to stand beside them as they do.
The doorbell rings and I open it to greet Delly waiting to pick up Willow for the night. My stomach sinks slightly when I remember that I have to say goodbye to her and trust someone else to look after her for an entire night. She's stayed with my mother once or twice overnight and Delly once during the day, but I still get nervous about leaving her. I suppose after everything that's happened, it's normal for me to be worried. I'm so protective over her and I'm not sure what I would do if something happened to her.
I do force myself to give her to Delly. I trust her, I really do. And I know that she grew up with Peeta and if I hadn't come into the picture, she's probably who he would've married. Not that I would ever worry about Peeta leaving me for her. I know that he doesn't love her. She's just a childhood friend, almost a sister to him. Besides, Peeta is loyal and I know how much he loves me. And it isn't that I don't think Delly can take care of children, as she's a school teacher and she has a child of her own. I just worry that something will happen and I'm not going to be able to get to Willow.
"Katniss, don't be nervous, okay? She's going to be just fine," Peeta says.
"Yes! I would never let anything happen to Willow. She won't leave my sight, I swear it," Delly says, so genuinely that it makes almost all of my anxiety wash away. I nod and kiss my daughter before handing her over to Delly. "Have fun at the wedding! I'll be back over with her tomorrow morning."
"Thank you so much Delly," Peeta says before she gets back into her car to go back home. I take a deep breath and Peeta rubs circles on my back to try to calm me down. "She'll be okay. Don't worry." I nod and kiss Peeta on the cheek.
Several minutes later, the three of us pile into a car that will take us to the church in the middle of town where the wedding will take place. I'll admit, I was shocked when I found out that Effie hadn't even considered having the wedding in The Capitol. I guess it's just too bad of a memory for all of us. Besides, Effie has been living in 12 for a few years now and this is where she and Haymitch met, back when she was the district's escort and he the mentor. I guess they just thought it was fitting. Still, Effie has spared no expense in the details of the wedding. There will be hundreds of people, caterers who will serve luxurious imported foods and alcohol, and musicians who will play live in a ballroom afterwards.
Effie, Peeta, and I wait in a small room behind the main part of the church for the music to begin. When it does. I'm supposed to be the first to walk down the aisle and behind me will be Peeta and Effie. Peeta was asked to walk Effie down the aisle to Haymitch, as a replacement for the job her father would have done. Effie doesn't talk about her parents much. All I know is that her father left before she was born and her mother died after Effie became an escort.
As soon as the music starts playing, I take a deep breath and Peeta gives me a reassuring look. He knows how hard it's going to be for me to walk alone in front of all of these people. All of their eyes will be on me. I have to force myself not to look at them. I can't. Most of them are citizens of 12 and I can't bear to imagine how many more people would still be here if it weren't for me. All of their family members and friends, their husbands and wives and children. I know if roles were reversed and the leader of a rebellion was the reason for a mass murder and Willow or Peeta was killed, I would never be able to forgive them. Take Prim for example. She was killed because of Coin. And to this day, whenever I even imagine that woman's face and her perfectly kept hair, my stomach churns with anger.
So, when I step out into the church, I keep my chin up and my eyes glued above. Haymitch stands at the front, his hands intertwined together, probably to keep them from shaking. He wears a very similar outfit to the one Peeta was wearing, though he has a bow tie rather than a regular tie and his suit is a darker shade of gray. I try my best to keep a smile on my face to prevent myself from looking hostile or angry, which tends to happen even if I'm not trying.
I reach Haymitch and plant a soft kiss on his cheek and whisper "Stay alive." before taking my place at the left side of the stage. Peeta and Effie walk out next, arms linked together. My eyes begin to well up with tears and I try my best to blink them away. I begin to think of the Reaping so many years ago. I think of the arguments, the bickering, the snide remarks, and the eye rolling that I've witnessed throughout the years. How on earth have we managed to end up here?
When Peeta and Effie reach the front, he kisses her cheek and then takes my hand and stands beside me. I begin to scan the crowd and almost immediately find Gale and his children. The fact that he's there takes me off guard a bit, but it isn't that he's attending the wedding that confuses me. It's the fact that Cressida, the director on my propaganda team during the war is sitting beside him. Her blonde hair is completely grown back and it covers the vine tattoos on her head. She's wearing a bit of makeup and her piercings are gone. She looks different than when I saw her last at Snow's execution, but I would know her face anywhere. I raise and eyebrow at him, but just receive a small smile in return. I decide to question them about it later.
In the next row over sits a very familiar auburn haired girl with sea green eyes; Annie. She looks as though she hasn't aged a day, still the young and beautiful girl that everyone called mad. I almost have to look twice at the boy that sits beside her. At first I think I'm hallucinating. My mind must be playing tricks on me. Finnick can't be sitting beside her. I watched him die. Of course it's not Finnick, I realize. It's his son, Finn. I have to choke back a sob. He's grown so much. He has the same golden blond hair, tanned skin, and green eyes that Finnick had. I nudge Peeta to look at him and he seems to have the same reaction that I do. He squeezes my hand and Effie and Haymitch begin to recite their vows.
Haymitch begins, "I can't say that I've loved you ever since I met you. We all know that it would be a lie if I did. But, ever since the day that I climbed up that stage at the Reaping and gave you a hug, I knew that you would mean something to me. I knew that although we were polar opposites, we had one thing in common. It was to protect two kids that we've both grown to love as our own children. Through them and their love, we have grown to love each other."
I turn to Peeta with tears in my eyes. He smiles and his eyes sparkle at the first signs of tears. I pull him closer to me and rest my head on his shoulder. Haymitch continues, "I never thought that I would be here standing with you today. And in all honestly, I didn't think that I would ever be capable of loving again. But I was. Because I love you. I love you so much. And every day I am so thankful for you. I promise that I will choose and protect you no matter what. And I promise that no matter what happens, I will always love you."
I think that it was a mistake in letting Haymitch speak first, as Effie's already crying. I'm afraid she's not going to be able to get any words out, but to my surprise she does. "I know how shocking our love must be to people. I know that we haven't always been the perfect match. And I know that we've been through so much pain. But we've been through it together. The pain and the hardships have been what has shaped our relationship. Although we didn't realize it all those years ago, we were starting something so beautiful. It's something that I can't even begin to explain. And although we may not make sense to people, we make sense to me. And if there comes a moment where everything is confusing, you will always be the person for me that makes sense. I love you, Haymitch Abernathy."
After they both finish speaking, they exchange rings, and seal their marriage with a kiss. At this point, I don't even bother to stop the tears. Of course I'm not upset, but I'm simply so unbelievably overjoyed for Haymitch and Effie.
When the wedding is over, all of us gather in a large tent structure that serves as a ballroom outside of the church. There are musicians on a stage in the front that have already begun to play music and people have already started to dance. I'm not much for dancing, but during the first slower paced song, Peeta guilts me into dancing with him.
He holds me in his arms as we sway to the music. I rest my head on his shoulder and shut my eyes, desperately wishing for this moment to last forever. "You once told me when we were on the rooftop of the Tribute's Center that you wanted to freeze in the moment and live in it forever. Do you remember that?" I ask.
"I think so. Why?"
"Because that's how I feel. Right now. I wish that everyday I could feel this carefree dancing in your arms. I want to feel this happy all the time."
"I wish that I had the capability to make you feel this happy every single second of every single day," he says. "And I'm sorry that I can't."
I shake my head and say, "No, I don't mean to say that it's your fault. And I don't want you to tell me that you're sorry, okay? You have no reason to be. You and Willow are the people that make me the most happy, and I'm so thankful for that."
He nods and twirls me around before pulling me back in his arms. "I love you," I whisper.
"I love you too. So much."
***
After the wedding and one too many drinks, Peeta takes me back home. Peeta doesn't drink at all. He isn't supposed to with the medicine he takes for his flashbacks anyway. As for me, I don't mind alcohol, although I used to despise the stuff. Of course it's different when I get drunk because I want to avoid the pain that I feel. But I have felt no pain today. It was simply just because I wanted to celebrate. I don't think Peeta minds much. If anything, he thinks it's funny.
"I think you need some sleep, Katniss," he laughs, attempting to change me into pajamas.
"But I'm not even tired," I whine, undoing the braids in my hair.
"Trust me, you'll thank me later."
I climb over to him on the bed and say, "I love you a lot, you know."
"I do know," he says, laughing. "But I love you more."
"Mmm. . .I don't think so," I whisper, shutting my eyes and covering my face with the sleeves of my sweater. "Do you want to know something?"
He laughs and says, "Sure."
I giggle and hide myself beneath the blankets, almost afraid of telling him what I want to say. "What is it, Katniss?" he asks, laughing.
I pull him down so his head is on the pillow next to mine and whisper, "I want to have another baby." I shut my eyes and begin to drift off to sleep. He doesn't speak for a few seconds but then shakes me back awake.
"What did you say?"
"I said I want to have another baby. Can I go to sleep now?" I ask.
"Hold on. I thought you said you didn't want another. Why did you change your mind?" he asks.
"After tonight, I just realized I'm the happiest when I'm with you or Willow or Haymitch or Effie. I can't even comprehend how much I love you and Willow. And I want to share that love with another child."
"Katniss, are you sure? I think you're just drunk. " he says.
"Yes. I mean, no," I say, scrunching my nose in confusion. " I do want to have another baby, no I'm not just drunk."
"I think that's what a drunk person would say," he jokes.
"No, seriously, Peeta. I really really want to have another baby with you. I've been thinking about it all day. I know what I want. And this is it," I say in all seriousness.
"Are you sure?" he asks. I can tell that he's wary. He doesn't want to get his hopes up and then find out that I wasn't thinking and that I'll have a different opinion tomorrow. But I know that I won't. I know that this is what I want, no matter how terrifying this is, it's worth it. And I know how much Peeta wants this too.
"Yes. I really am."
__________________________
yIKES this was almost 4000 words long oMFG that's twice the size of my normal chapters whoops. Hopefully it's worth it then? Maybe it'll last you longer? Idk y'all are probably really really sick of me apologizing for taking forever to update but school and the school musical I'm in is seriously killing me rn and it's taking up all my time. So basically that's why I haven't been updating but hopefully you liked this chapter and if you did please vote and also comment any ideas/feedback/whatever because I love hearing from you guys so much.
I LOVE YOU ALL AND THANK YOU FOR YOUR PATIENCE
-booklover2019 <3