My entire body tenses up as soon as I feel those unnaturally warm arms slide around me. His forehead is touching my temple, his breath brushes against my ear and the side of his body completely lines up with mine like a missing puzzle piece. His hands are sliding up and down my forearms to warm me, and it works, but the feel of his skin also leaves behind a trail of goosebumps.
For a few moments I'm as still as a statue with my knees pushed up to my chest and my arms wrapped around my legs so I can hide my face in them, but the tranquility doesn't last long. I can feel my heartbeat accelerate and pound against my rapidly coloring cheeks, and I know I'm about to freak out because he's freaking cuddling me.
And I'm enjoying it.
He must notice my discomfort though, because his hands stop sliding against my skin to squeeze my shoulders tightly and pull them back so I'm forced to look at him in the eye. I detect a slight hint of pink on his cheeks as well.
"Erm...Body heat, you know?" He murmurs; making it the most un-educational sentence I've ever heard him speak. "It's uh, not weird because you're cold and stuff."
I force myself to swallow the ball of cotton rising in my throat and nod slowly, because the way his dark eyes seem to gain some color when I look at him is just so enduring. I want to see those galaxies reappear in his irises the way they were when I first saw him. They don't hold any color right now; but they will.
I'm almost shaking with nerves as I smile bashfully. "I've only known you for a day," I say jokingly, "this relationship is moving way too fast."
Even as I say the words, they taste fowl leaving my lips. I've known him for far longer than a day, but he just doesn't quite remember it yet.
He forces a little chuckle and wraps his arm back around my shoulders, giving me a little more space to breathe this time. But with only one side pressed to his unnaturally warm body and the other facing the snowy outside world; my temperature feels off balance with one side freezing in the cold.
Taking deep breathes to steady my pounding heartbeat I look up at the darkening sky through the draping branches. It's hard to tell since the snow storm is getting worse; thus the clouds are getting thicker, but I believe that night will soon be coming. If that happens we'll be stuck out here all night and the boy in my arms will get cold again, putting both of us in danger for hypothermia.
Maybe I should get some sleep now. I think to myself. That way if something happens this evening to Nite then I'd have enough energy to do something about it.
I look up, seeing Nite's dark eyes watching the snowflakes slowly pile by our feet and melt around him as if he were a human radiator. I don't know how long it'll take before he gets cold again, so I decide to take advantage of it while I can.
I unzip my jacket and hold out the left side to him, blushing as I say; "Wrap this around you."
He blinks at me in confusion, but takes the side of my jacket nonetheless. He scoots closer so that the jacket can fit comfortably around us, and since it's pretty big on me anyway because it was my fathers, when I take my arm out of the sleeve I am able to zip it around the both of us. I am now painfully aware of Nite's arm pressing against mine and the feel of his breath on my neck, but when my shoulder slides against his chest and finds his pounding heart, I feel a bit better. It's beating as fast as mine.
Now that we're sharing the body heat that's trapped inside this leather jacket, I am more confident that we'll be okay even if the snowstorm does last till midnight... I hope.
"I am not cold, Tawny." Nite says, his breath tickling my ear. "I don't need for you to share your jacket with me."
"Night time is coming." I tell him dragging his arm up to his lap so it's not stuck out in the cold. "You'll be freezing in about an hour or so; so I need you to share your body heat with me now."
He nods and wraps both arms around my shoulders, causing my head to fall onto his chest and for his chin to rest on my hair. Timidly, I return the embrace by wrapping my arms around his middle, absorbing the dimming warmth radiating from his skin.
It's kinda nice, I think, having someone here to hold and warm me after I haven't had anyone around to do so for so long. I can't even remember the last time I felt my parent's embrace, or even my sister's when she was here last. So who knows how long this serenity will last.
So, with that in mind, I press my cheek against Nite's chest and will myself to forget how long I've known him and who he really is, and just pretend that he's a close friend or maybe even a boyfriend of some kind. I've never really had one before, but the fussiness in my own chest and the warmth in my skin is such a peculiar sensation that I believe in must be the feeling of being cared for. Of being loved.
With my head in the clouds and Nite's slow breathing in my ear, it doesn't take long before my eyelids begin to droop. And before I know it, I'm out like a light.
...
Wash, rinse, repeat...
There's a voice coming from somewhere.
Wash, rinse, repeat...
It's echoing off the invisible walls around me and entering my ears again and again.
Wash, rinse, repeat...
I recognize the voice. It's a woman's. One who had patronized me long ago...
You're an inconvenience to everyone. A dark cloud that spills sticky ink onto everyone who comes near you and ruins their day. You're better off alone. It's always going to be like that; so get it through your thick skull before somebody else dies.
I can feel the soft fabric of a couch beneath me; imagine the sickly color of grey it used to be before she threw her glass of suffocatingly sweet red wine at me. I can see the wrinkles at the corners of her eyes; imagine the fancy vase and the water fountain outside that she paid for using my parent's money. I can feel her anger; even after six whole years.
You only think about yourself. It's disgusting. 'Oh, pity me; I have panic attacks and depression so I expect my parents to come for me whenever I want them to.' Well guess what; they got to close to that dark cloud. It filled up their throats with that smothering ink and now they're dead. How does that make you feel?
I remember how the tears felt so sticky against my burning, ashamed cheeks. I remember feeling like the lowest scum of the Earth, like my lungs were going to collapse from screaming and I was going to be dead too.
How do you think that makes me feel, you bitch? I'm just a poor old lady with not enough time left on this planet, and not enough money to keep myself alive. You're going to kill me too.
The glass that pierced my hand from her wine glass left a scar that I'd never get rid of. Standing at her tombstone two years later with my lips curling up into the same evil smile that she used to wear across her mouth left a scar in my impure soul as well. I was a monster. And as long as people were around me, I always would be.
Wash, rinse, repeat...
My skin grows cold like it did that first night, the shivers traveling down my spine and all the way to the very tips of my toes. The cold is coming from the real life, I can tell, but I'm not sure if I want to go back there anymore. Why would I want to when all I do is hurt people?
I stay, they hurt, I need to be needed, and they die.
Wash, rinse, repeat...
Maybe if I were to die then nobody else would. I would no longer be an inconvenience to people who don't even really care about me, and I would no longer have to stress through my depression.
But, alas, it's the cold and a shivering voice that wakes me up from a blissful nightmare...
...
"I'm going to save you."
Fogs of sequins float past my blurry eyes as I open them to a world of white and grey. The moon is out, illuminating pile after pile of deep snow around the circle that Nite has created. His warmth had melted it all away, but now that the stars and moon are out and shining, his teeth are chattering and his voice wavers above my ear. My skin is riddled with goosebumps.
It takes me a few seconds to process what he just whispered centimeters from my ear, and when I do I look up to meet the most dazzling pairs of eyes that I've ever seen. They are no longer grey and light shades of black, but the colors of every galaxy that I've ever seen. Purple, blue, green, orange, red, gold, silver...vivid and beautiful. Memorizing and glittering. Mysterious and elegant. Every synonym of the word beautiful that I can think of. Just...indescribable.
His breath is once again leaving his lips in puffs of smoke and glitter, making the air around our shivering forms glimmer and glisten. I would be quite distracted on the beauty he is and is creating right now, but my mind is locked on the words that just escaped his mouth.
Once again; saying that he is going to save me.
I'm about to ask him why he decided to suddenly blurt out that statement, and if he had seen my dreams again, but then I see how pale he has gotten since I fell asleep. He's almost translucent, and the shivers wrecking his body look almost painful. His hold on my shoulders seems to be a life-or-death matter for him.
We need to get someplace warm, quick.
...............Author's Note................
I think this is my favorite chapter that I've wrote by far, so I hope you guys enjoy it too!!!
Thanks for reading and don't forget to leave a comment telling me about some feedback, I'd be really interested to know how you guys feel about the story!
Thank you!
-Iridescent