Edited - 8/1/19
Calum
Having been caught up in the feeling of being on stage while singing and playing our hearts out, of course it took a more than a moment for my head to wrap around what was going on.
In that process, Michael had taken over singing my parts.
Tell me where you're hiding your voodoo doll 'cause I can't control myself.
Luke was standing. Right there.
I don't wanna stay,
I wanna run away,
But I'm trapped under your spell.
He beamed when I looked at him, a hint of concern present on his face. It was understandable, because besides the fact that I was playing my bass, I still haven't moved.
And it hurts in my head and my heart and my chest,
And I'm having trouble catching my breath.
I looked at Michael and he was already gesturing with his head for me to go towards Luke.
Ooh, ooh,
Won't you please stop loving me to death?
I slowly walked towards the corner of the catwalk, heart erratically beating in my chest. There was a woman stood beside Luke, and I don't recognize her but she pushed him closer to where I was walking towards, giving him a reassuring gesture.
I don't even see my friends no more,
'Cause I keep hanging out with you.
I don't know how you kept me up all night,
Or how I got this tattoo.
I kneeled down once I reached the catwalk, still playing my bass. Thank God Luke wasn't behind the barricades. He was smiling at me, brighter than any of the lights on stage.
I took out my earpiece, already saying, "I thought you weren't—" Before I stopped and realized that he couldn't hear me because of the instruments playing over the speakers and the fans' screams gradually getting louder.
I can feel you watching even when you're nowhere to be seen.
I can feel you touching even when you're far away from me.
Luke seemed to understand what I was asking, though. He gave a shrug, expression smug. I couldn't help but burst out laughing in glee at the fact that he actually made it.
Tell me where you're hiding your voodoo doll 'cause I can't control myself.
I wanted to jump off stage. I wanted to be near Luke. Just as I was contemplating doing just that, I heard a deep voice shout my name, piercing through the combination of music and screams. It was Jensen who seemed to sense what I wanted to do, because he was shaking his head no and mouthing that I should stay on stage.
I don't wanna stay,
I wanna run away,
But I'm trapped under your spell.
I gave a curt nod. I wasn't about to go against our head of security. I gazed back at Luke to find that he was also staring at Jensen, shooting him a thumbs-up. Luke then gave me a sad pout. I felt my heart leap in my chest as I laughed again.
And it hurts in my head and my heart and my chest,
And I'm having trouble catching my breath.
"Surprised?" I heard Luke say. Barely. Mostly I read his lips, it really was hard to hear his voice.
Ooh, ooh,
Won't you please stop loving me to death?
---
Luke
I could just picture the I told you so look on Kate's face as Calum nodded with his dazzling grin. I always knew Calum was handsome, I don't think anyone would deny that. Right now, he looked utterly beautiful, with the lights of the stage shining down on his face and the sides of his eyes crinkled because of his smile.
He was a sight to behold.
Every time you're near me,
Suddenly my heart begins to race.
Every time I leave,
I don't know why my heart begins to break.
I'm sure both of us had many things to say at the moment, I almost feel Calum's mind working. His gaze landed on my clothes and he raised an eyebrow, tugging on the collar of his muscles tee slightly. I guessed it was his way of asking why the hell I was wearing a denim jacket inside an already too hot because there's so many people here arena.
Tell me where you're hiding your voodoo doll 'cause I can't control myself.
I don't wanna stay,
I wanna run away,
But I'm trapped under your spell.
I unzipped the jacket, the nerves in my stomach going wild again. Inside I was wearing a round neck baseball tee, but it had HOOD and the numbers 96 below in big, bold letters; Calum's last name and his year of birth.
And it hurts in my head and my heart and my chest,
And I'm having trouble catching my breath.
Calum's mouth opened a tiny bit, but he was also kind of smiling.
Kate was suddenly beside me, whispering. "You know, there are thousands of people here wearing his name on their shirts too. When you did it, he lit up like a Christmas tree."
Ooh, ooh,
Won't you please stop loving me to death?
The song finished and Calum was still kneeling by the edge of the catwalk.
I was suddenly hyper-aware of the thousands of fans cheering and whooping very loudly.
"So, there has been some surprises tonight." Michael's voice was heard all over the arena. I could hear people behind me screaming. I turned around and there were multiple hands waving, 5SOS fans saying things all at the same time it became too incoherent for me to understand. I decided to simply wave back.
I looked towards the stage again when I heard Ashton's voice through the speakers. "Oh! I guess there are," He said. I met his eyes and he gave a big wave. I shot him a thumbs-up.
My eyes met Calum's and my stomach did a flip. He said something. I couldn't hear it too well, so I tried reading his lips. I still couldn't understand it either—Calum's lips are very distracting.
He cupped his hands around his mouth. "Later?" I heard him that time. I nodded at him and he jumped to his feet, walking backwards with this goofy smile which made me swoon just the tiniest bit.
The whole things was making me flustered. Kate was practically cackling.
Throughout the concert he kept looking back at me, probably checking if I was enjoying or if I was also staring at him. Which I was. All I wanted to do was hold him at that moment.
As a whole, 5 Seconds of Summer were simply born for the stage. They performed with everything they had, each song no matter the tone or the message was played to perfection and they ensured their audience were having a great time by also having a great time on stage.
Calum walked towards us again.
Ashton was singing, and Calum kneeled with his eyes on his bass. He looked up before smiling again.
I don't think my knees can take any more of thus.
I already had my phone out, so I decided to take a picture. He realized what I was doing and started doing various facial expressions. He crossed his eyes, stuck his tongue out between his teeth, and even pouted.
I was laughing, and he was too. Everything felt great.
I almost jumped when a hand unexpectedly landed on my shoulder. "Mr. Hemmings you'll be escorted backstage now," Jensen said, smiling a little, obviously noticing my surprise.
"Yes, thank you." I told him and I nodded at Kate. She followed the bodyguard, and I was about to do the same, when my eyes landed back at Calum. I mouthed the words see you.
He winked.
I quickly ducked my head before Calum could notice how flustered he made me.
---
Calum
I tried to continue focusing on the concert itself and connecting with our fans, which proved to be an extremely difficult task because I couldn't stop thinking about Luke even when he was already nowhere to be seen.
We took our final bow and I ignored the way Michael and Ashton were giving each other looks.
They started making sex noises once we were walking to our dressing room. Even the two guards escorting us were trying to stifle their laughter.
"Would you two stop?" I tried very hard to not throw my water bottle at them. It was getting increasingly difficult not to when they kept it up until we were actually outside the dressing room, stopping just before we went in.
Luke was sat on the couch and the girl that was with him was nowhere to be seen.
"Hey, Luke!" Ashton was the first to greet him. Luke stood up, all long legs and skin tight jeans. He hugged Ashton and Michael, and while he did that I let myself take in his appearance.
Our gazes met each other for what seemed like the hundredth time tonight, and my brain stopped working again.
"Calum?" My name came out of his lips. "You okay?"
As much as I would have liked not to, I grinned. "I'm great."
The door opened before anything else could be said. Andrew peeked in. "Hey boys, you all okay?"
"We're great," Michael answered. I tried not to face-palm.
"Luke Hemmings," Andrew grinned, extending his arm out. "Hey, I'm Andrew I'm 5SOS' tour manager. How's it going?"
Luke took his hand and gave it a firm shake. "I'm good. Thank you for arranging this, by the way."
Andrew nodded, pleased by Luke's manners. "Not a problem at all. Listen, I'm sorry to interrupt, but I need to talk to you and Calum."
Luke and I looked at each other. I looked back at Andrew. "I just need to change," I pointed out the obvious. My clothes were drenched.
"I need to handle some stuff, too," Andrew checked his watch then pulled out his phone. "I'll come back later. Stay here for the meantime."
I thought it would be awkward in the room once Andrew stepped out, but the conversation between Ashton, Michael and Luke started and flowed naturally, like they've all been friends for years.
I was happy to see it, actually. I knew Ashton and Michael were making an effort to get close to Luke because they knew how I felt about him, they were trying to make him feel comfortable around them too and I couldn't help but be grateful.
I changed quickly in the bathroom, not really knowing how I'd handle changing in front of Luke when my bandmates are there.
Jensen came in the dressing room just as I got out of the bathroom. "I don't usually offer this, but I think it'll be alright for now. Some fans are waiting outside, they want to see you. It's only a dozen or so. As soon as it starts to get out of hand you boys will immediately be escorted back, deal?" Jensen raised an eyebrow.
Michael jumped to his feet. "Let's do it!"
"Calum, Luke," Jensen looked at both of us. "Andrew's still talking with the a few of the crew, he says you guys could just meet him at the stage. The arena's already empty, so you don't have to worry. You know your way around?" I nodded and Jensen seemed okay to let us go without any escort.
It was kind of upsetting that I wouldn't be meeting the fans, but Michael and Ashton gave reassuring smiles before they both left. Luke followed Jensen out the door, not waiting for me before he left.
I sped up my pace until I was beside him.
We were okay. I knew we were.
Then why wasn't Luke talking? Why was he avoiding eye-contact?
I couldn't take it, not knowing whatever was on his mind. I couldn't. We passed by a door and I stopped, turned the doorknob, and discovered it was open. Nobody was in the room, it was filled with spare instruments.
"What are you looking f—" Luke didn't get to finish before I was grabbing his wrist and dragging him inside, locking the door once we were both inside.
He was surprised, if not a little amused. "You planning for us to make-out? How very forward."
It was hard to push the incredibly tempting thought out of my head.
He must've noticed that I wasn't laughing at his attempt at humor. "What's wrong?"
"I should be asking you that." I replied, crossing my arms.
Luke's gaze fell. He sat down on the wooden floor, leaning against the white wall. I automatically sat down beside him. Our legs were outstretched in front of us, our shoulders touching. I felt the warmth of his arm against mine and I realized this was the first physical contact we've had since I left for tour.
For a moment, neither of us spoke. "I forgot," was what he said.
"You forgot what?"
"About this," Luke replied. I turned, and I was looking at the side of his face, our heads inches apart. He was staring at his lap and twiddling his thumbs. "While I was watching you perform. I forgot. About management, about fans, about publicity. About this thing being an act, a stunt."
I still couldn'f completely comprehend what he was saying, so he explained further. "I spoke with Andrew on the phone to arrange the whole surprising you thing. I ran it by Patricia too. It's.. Yeah, I have an idea of what it is Andrew wants to talk to us about. All Patricia's idea, of course."
In that moment, I wished we were just two normal guys. I wished we didn't have people telling us how to act and when to act. No management, no spotlight, no one butting into the natural flow of whatever it was between Luke and I.
"Do you regret it?" I couldn't help asking. "Signing the contract, I mean. It's okay if you do."
Luke turned his head and suddenly I was staring into his eyes, which were even mkre strikingly blue up close. "No," He mumbled. "I really don't." Then he was looking at his lap again. I didn't know what Luke was thinking either, which was not a common occurrence.
"I missed you," I decided to say. Because I did. Because I wanted him to know that I missed him. Because I wanted him to stop thinking about whatever it was making him sad and to just look at me.
He did. And he smiled; an easy, closed-lip smile. "I missed you, too."
"Do you want to grab dinner with me?"
"It'll be a bit late for us to eat dinner, don't you think?" He scrunched his face together adorably.
"Doesn't really matter," I shrugged.
Luke chuckled and he's glowing again. "I would love to."
And without thinking, I intertwined our fingers, resting both our hands on my thigh. I didn't hold on to tight, giving Luke the chance to pull away if he wanted to. "Is this okay?" I asked. Communication. That's the way to go.
Luke nodded without hesitation. My thumb began brushing the back of his hand. Luke's grip tightened, and he exhaled like a giant weight was lifted off his chest.
"Are we good?" I looked at him. Couldn't stop doing so, really. Can you blame me?
Luke closed his eyes and leaned his head back. He was squeezing my hand again. "Yes, we're good," He whispered.