Within the hour Kakashi had his team assembled and in front of him. They stood in the Hokages tent, but the Hokage was not present during this meeting. Six villages, each to be escorted and assisted during set-up, this would all be completed by Kakashi and his team of ten ANBU. He did not choose anyone from a different village, not that he didn't trust them to complete the mission, but it was just easier for Kakashi to communicate with men he had continuously worked with. He scanned the room before beginning, each face turned to him, their masks on and ready for the mission to begin.
"You all know what this mission will take and that is why I have chosen you to be my team. We are here as escorts to make sure these villages make it to their destinations safely. We will make sure they secure every prisoner and then we will return to gather the next village and escort them. We have six villages to work through, this will not be the shortest mission, but I am hoping it will be easier than what we have been dealing with as of late."
That last line got a small laugh from the group, At least they have not lost their spirits. I need to focus, I need to be present during all of this.
"I will meet with the Hokage and then we will depart for the village furthest to the North. At no point will we use the names of these villages that may result in a major security breach if one of these prisoners is able to contact someone on the outside. We will refer to these villages by number, simply 1 through 6. Please familiarize yourselves with the map, there will be no copies handed out." Kakashi was met with an echo of agreeance as he turned to exit and his team moved around the map. He had no doubts in his team all his doubts fell within himself.
He walked slowly to find the Hokage so he could search the connection. Was Yuki awake? Kakashi turned behind a tent to lean against a tree, slowly closing his eye. He couldn't feel much, but he could feel that Yuki was awake.
It was then that Kakashi was hit with the most guilt, why didn't I let Yuki place a seal on me? Kakashi's face contorted in pain, she had asked the night I had placed my seal on her when I would have one. If I had done that I could touch the seal whenever I thought of her and it would be much stronger. Why didn't I do it, why didn't I place the seal?
Kakashi searched his mind for the answer. When it seemed like it would never come to him his eye shot open and he lost his breath. The familiar voice in his head was screaming at him as he struggled to breathe, his head leaned back against the tree face to the sun.
You know why, the dark voice began snaking through his mind, you know exactly why you never placed that seal.
It's not true, Kakashi forced back trying to overpower the dark presence.
Oh Kakashi why must you act like this, it was laughing at him now, just say it you'll feel better.
No! It's not true!
Fine I'll say it. You didn't place that seal because...
Stop!
Because you can't let her in! You can't let anyone in and you've already ruined it so why are you bothering with this? Everyone you love dies, remember? Yuki doesn't mean that much to you, you're lying to yourself. If you loved her you would have been better, but you can't be better that's why you kill. That's why I'm here telling you this.
Silence seemed to fall over the world as Kakashi let the words sink in. His heart seemed to beat slower, his emotions started to drain away. He felt like the heartless killing machine he'd been years ago and... he liked it.
See how much better you feel? You've let your emotions get in the way for too long. Do what you're good at, be the ANBU captain they expect not this pile of useless emotions no one can depend on.
Kakashi relaxed, you're right, I've wasted enough time on this. If I cared I wouldn't be the way I am, I would have been better to her. If everyone I love is gone, she is now one of them.
Exactly, now do what must be done.
Closing his eye Kakashi focused his chakra, feeling the lock bind into place.
Now you can be who you've always been, the lone wolf. She doesn't need to know what's happening with you anymore.
Kakashi nodded and stood up straight, looking around the camp as if for the first time. This was his life: war and death, he had no time for anything else and he was fooling himself if he thought there was something else. He began his walk to the Hokage with new found focus and the attitude he needed to get this mission done.
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It was settling into midafternoon by the time Yuki had returned from the northern field. Crops were slowly beginning to return to the land, it was like a dream watching the lands come back to life. As she set her bask down Yuki felt like a tide wave was rushing towards her.
She doubled over and gripped her chest, squeezing her eyes tight, what's happening?!
The pain in her chest was almost too much for her to take as she felt her chakra begin to shift. Just as fast as it began it was over and Yuki opened her eyes. She moved her focus towards the connection, but it felt as it always had. Except...
What is that? Yuki focused and pushed against the connection, a lock? Why did he place a lock?
Yuki smirked, oh how you underestimate me. She closed her eyes and slowly slipped past the lock, if I can break into people's minds what makes you think I can't work past this lock?
It was a small effort for Yuki, since Kakashi's chakra was flowing inside her body as it was tied into the seal, it was easy to work her way into his thoughts. She moved around gently, so she would not disturb too much.
There's so much... hate. Yuki began to become too overwhelmed with the strong feeling surging through Kakashi. She began to pull back and work her way out of Kakashi's thoughts. When she was back she gasped for breath, trying to make sense of the situation.
This mission is become more and more dangerous. He must have placed the lock so I would not feel the worst of everything.
Yuki sat back and sighed, now we're both blocking each other out, my how things have changed.
With a sad smile Yuki stood and continued on with her day. She finally felt alone, it had finally hit her how much things had changed.
I wanted to be away from him so much, why am I not happy with this?
She fought the thoughts that came rushing at her, today was not the day she had no energy for this. A sick feeling began to plague her, but she pushed through it and moved forward with her day.
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The group had been assembled, the teams of two spread out in all sides to make sure they would not be surprised by anyone. They were moving faster than Kakashi had thought, village 1 had sent wagons to take their prisoners back in which made this long journey seem less complicated.
It would take about three days to reach the village, but less than two to get back since the team of ten could move much faster. For the first time since this mission began Kakashi found he was enjoying himself. This is what being ANBU captain was all about; his team looking to him for guidance, the Hokage trusting him with the most skilled missions, and villages knowing that he could complete any task asked of him.
As he walked behind the wagon he realized how much he was going to like this mission and he liked even more that he would be completing it for at least two months.
I'll truly be able to find myself on this mission and remember who I am.
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Many miles away Yuki felt the dark cloud settle on Kakashi's thoughts. She felt as if she may cry, shaking her head quickly before the first tear could fall.
He's been heartless before, this should be no different.