Hey everyone! School's been keeping me ultra busy. I can open Wattpad ever so rarely but I'll try my best to update whenever I can.
My father told me a little joke :P. "Most people actually survived heart attacks. It's only when they saw their bills that they died. Now that's the real attack people fear most" I know, lame joke haha...=.=
Razi (Hassan's brother)>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
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Chapter Fourteen.....School gone wild
(Hassan's P.O.V)
I had a discussion with Doctor Imran a short while back. He's the guy handling my moher's case. There was no other way out; an operation had to be done on her as soon as possible in order to save her life. I was deeply stressed out by all this. Not to mention the extremely expensive cheque we had to pay for it; $50 000. And that was excluding the hospital bills.
"You don't have to worry about the bills.It's all settled. We'll be carrying out the surgery in three days time. Right now she must undergo a strict diet so that the surgery can go smoothly."
"What? It's all settled?'
"A guy named named Razi paid everything this morning. I believe he's your brother? Now we all have to pray that it will all go well. Your mum is in a very critical condition. I hate to be the one breaking it to you, but it'll be a fifty-fifty percent chance that she'll make it through."
My heart sanked at that very moment. My expression must be quite obvious because the doctor gave me an apologetic look. He made a useless attempt to comfort me by patting my back before he left with a few other nurses to discuss a certain issues. I was left by myself staring at my mother's limp body lying on the bed through the two way mirror of her room.
I opened the door and entered. I got a full clearer view of her now that I'm standing just beside her bed. It was eerily quiet besides the beeping sound of the machine on the other side of her. There was a sharp needle pressing against my mum's wrist passing some kind of white fluid through her veins. She looked horrible! Her face was so pale. There were green and purple veins lining besides her eyes and dark bags just beneath it. Her lips were dark brown and dry. The whole scene took my breath away as I try to hold back tears.
Just when I thought life was going well for me, this happens. God? Does such a thing even exists? If god does exists then he's nothing but cruel. I pushed back the greying hair that was blocking her face softly with my hand then kissed her forehead lightly and taking in her scent. There was nothing left for me to do there so I was just turning back to leave. "Hassan?" A weak voice called. I tuned around. My mum wiped her tired eyes as she weakly sat herself up with her shaky arms. She coughed then cleared out her dry throat.
I rushed to her side to help her out and sat near her. She stared at me with a mysterious twinkle in her eyes then smiled. How was she able to smile in her condition was far beyond me. She caresses my cheek warmly with her hand. I tried to smile back and stay strong just for her. I took her hand and put it in mine as I rubbed it gently. "How are you feeling?"
"Better, now that you're here." I bit my lip. Nothing I say can change anything.
"Where's Razi and Fatimah?" Her eyes wondered around the room.
"Home. Fatimah wanted to come visit but we figured she might be a distraction to you."
"Distraction? There is no such thing. You three are the greatest thing that has ever happened to me. Tell her I love her will you? And that she's always in my heart.'
"Why not tell her yourself once you get out of here?"
She ignored me and examined my face as if searching for something. "You look different."
"Different?"
"Yeah. More open to life, these past two months. I guess I'll be leaving you in good hands then."
"Don't say that! You're going to survive this. Don't leave me, us. We need you. You are my life Mum. You, Razi and Fatimah are all that's left for me. I beg you..." I was literally begging, my voice was already breaking. Tears were already dripping down my face. Her eyes turned soft as she wiped the tears from my eyes. Streaks of tears were already forming on hers.
"You forget Sakinah, the cause of your change. The girl you shared about a lot lately.'
"Sakinah?! Is this what this was all about? Mum, Sakinah is just a friend. Friends come and go. You are my family. The one that I want to keep close to forever. You're the one that keeps me going in this life. If you leave now, I don't think I can handle it."
"Don't say that!" She literally shouted despite her weak and hoarse voice. I jumped, shocked and surprise by the strength in her voice that reverberated through the room.
She stared at me sternly, "Hassan. I did not raise you to be this weak You're an intelligent man with a bright future in front of you. Don't let something simple like this bring you down. Did you know how useless I felt as a mum all these years just staring at you like a zombie forced to live your own life? I was alive back then yet there was nothing I could do to get you motivated. Did you know that I even prayed to god that I was willing to give my life away just so I could see you happy?"
My chest tighten as I tried to hold back tears of anger and frustration. Why would she go make such stupid prayers? "Mum, please. I've lost so many things in my life. I don't want to lose you. Not now, not ever. My happiness will only be complete if you're in it." My voice came out soft as I try to hold back the hurt and grief at just the thought of losing her.
My mum stared at me intently, willing herself not to blink. It's like she was trying to savour every seconds we had as if afraid it was going to be her last. "I'll try my best Hassan. To live, for you," she blinked tears, "but I can't give you false promises that I will definitely make it through. At the end of the day, there are just things that even I could not control; death. I'm already old and sickly so it's expected. Just promise me Hassan, that you will open up more to life. I want to be able to see you happy again."
Just then, a nurse came by. It was time for one of my mum's daily insulin injection and I was told to leave. "Rest, Mum. I stood up from the chair to leave.
"Wait," my mum held my hand. She proceeded to open the small drawer just beside her bed. She took out a small box, inside was a ring.
I furrowed my brows confusedly, "your ring?"
She smiled broadly as she played with the ring with her fingers twirling it around. "My favourite ring," her eyes twinkled, "it was my small lucky charm that got me through hard times when I was young. It no longer fits me now. Do me a favour; give this to Sakinah." She put the ring on my palm and close it tightly.
I looked at her, unsure. "You can leave now. I don't want you to see my embarassing expression when she gives me the injection." She nudges her head to the nurse who was standing there awkwardly waiting for me to leave. I gave a weak smile. I knew she meant it as a joke. I slipped the ring into my dark denim pants and went out the door. I turned my head one last time and caught her still staring at my direction before I left.
***
(Sakinah's P.O.V)
Getting dressed- check!
School bag- check!
My mum was observing me going back and forth in the house as I was busy getting ready for school. Her arms were folded and she was standing with her back against the living room's wall with her apron still on. "You seem excited," she asked.
"Hmm? Kinda, I guess." I gave her a smile.
"Is Hassan part of the reason?" She raised an eyebrow suspiciously at me.
"Partly. I can't wait to tell him the good news."
She smiled, "That's good. But remember Sakinah, we're Muslims. And he's still not your Mahram."
I rolled my eyes. "Relax Ummi. He's just a friend, nothing more."
"Remember though; when a boy and a girl are alone together, the third party is Shaytan who will whisper Haram stuffs to them both."
"Eww, Ummi! Please, not now. I know what I'm doing. I'm very well aware of my place as a Muslim and would not transgress."
I took my Mum's right hand grumpily and kissed it. "Assalamu alaikum," I uttered eager to leave the awkward conversation already. What's up with my mum anyways. Me and Hassan? Huh!
"Waalaikum salam," she kissed the top of my head lovingly and made a silent prayer, "may Allah guide you."
I resist the urge to roll my eyes again. "Bye Mum." I made my way to the door.
"Take care!'
"Yeah, yeah. I know." Just before I left the front door, I took out the Masterpiece to my awesome plan and which made up the most important ingredient to my checklist. Let's just pray that it works.
Dog food- check!
I took the filled plastic bag and left the front door. Yesterday I had a chat with Layla on the phone and she unconsciously gave me the idea. If this plan really works, I might actually forgive both my friends for what they did.
Oh. What do you know? Snoopy's here- big surprise huh? "Wait!" I yelled at it to stop as it approached me. I wiggled the white plastic bag on my hands. He sniffed it and his mouth wattered.
My heart was beating anxiously. "I hope you haven't eaten breakfast. Here." I opened the knot on the bag then lay it on the ground for him. He sniffed it once more and examined it before digging in greedily.
Hmm, what do you know! What works as a distraction for me works well on dogs too. Oh, the power of food! Maybe food is the answer to all problems? Maybe the lack of food was the reason behind wars? Who knows? Maybe the initial person who caused the war lacked nutrition in his body and got grumpy? Yes, no? I sagged my shoulders and gave up thinking. I'll never understand politics!
I stretched my arms out wide and took in a fresh lungful breath of morning air. I smiled involuntarily and made my way to school- in peace.
***
All good luck must end with something horrible- that's the golden rule of my life. Everybody in school was passing whispers all around and giving me weird looks. I grew tense at their stares and try to avoid their gaze at all cost. I can't help but grew self-concious and wondering what they were whispering about.
A girl around my age was passing a whisper to the other while eying me all the while. The other girl who was listening to her widen her eyes in surprise and stared at me. "Well, that explains a lot." They both giggled and ran away from me. The same thing happen to some other people. A lot of people were avoiding me somehow for god knows why. Suddenly I saw Shaliza. She was tall and slender, her hair a messy long brown. Her clothes, the typical short skirt, high heels and a light blue Tshirt that matched the colour of her eyes. 'Make way, hot girl is coming through' was written in the front. Once she saw me, she gave a mysterious smirk and walked away bumping against my shoulder.
The class was outstandingly noisy as if there was a market going on. Everybody was with their own group of crowd, discussing and gossiping loudly. "Everybody! A teacher is coming in!!" A guy who acted out as a bodyguard watching out for teachers yelled. In panic, everybody rushed to their own places- everyone in all direction- before finally settling in quietly.
A woman in a neat suit with a high bun entered to a suspiciously quiet room. She nervously rubbed the palms of her hands. "Umm, okay class. The teachers are all busy in meeting right now to discuss a certain issues. In the mean time, can you study or- never mind!" She's smart. I guess she figured out that the students was not going to do it.
"J-Just...try to keep it down as much possible. Can you do that?"
"Of course Miss! Whenever were we not?" Jerk smiled innocently but with a notorious hint.
"Paul? Come here," a nerdy looking guy staggered to the front, "I put you in charge to keep the class quiet."
"Yes Miss!" The teacher left. And the nerdy Paul looked determined to carry out the teacher's task. He stood on the front making sure everyone was silently doing their own work.
Jerk smiled, "ten...Nine...Eight...Seven...," he counted the sound of the teacher's loud footsteps from outside as it was distancing away and becoming softer. This was followed by his friends joining in on the countdown, "six...Five...Four...Three...Two...One." As suspected, the sound of footsteps disappeared signalling that the teacher was a good distance away already.
"FREEDOM!!!" They all shouted in one voice as they punched their fist high up in the air getting up from their seats. The noise level returned to market noises all over again. Paul looked nervous and anxious at the very loud noise as he panicked and tried to remind everyone to keep quiet and that he was in charge and was going to get into trouble for this. It seemed like everyone ignored his commands. That poor guy..I sincerely pitied him. Jerk came and shooed the guy away to his place taking control of the class.
Jerk was comfortable with the noise level. He was planning some kind of war game around the school dividing his friends into groups of two. They were discussing their strategies and Jerk told the rules of the game. Jerk drew some kind of school map on the white board with a black marker. He marked the spot at which the teachers will be having the meeting. "So long as we stay out of this place, we're good to go."
The rest of the students were busy with their own stuffs talking and such. They were not paying that much attention on Jerk as though they were used to Jerk behaving this way and was minding their own business. Shaliza on the other hand seem to keep picking on me for no reason; criticizing my looks, my little actions and basically everything I did. Others were avoiding me keeping a good distance away. Once, I caught Shaliza passing around, "Oh look, she's here," she nudges her head at my direction, "stay away or you will be affected."
I was not going to cry; seriously, I don't care. That stupid lizard have something to do with this, I was sure of it. She's starting to piss me off. I think I'm getting clues to what she's trying to do. She was trying to make everyone alienate me and they all did. I didn't mind. She has to do more to actually bring me down. I wasn't that weak to fall so easily. The fact that I still had my two awesome friends strenghten me. And the fact that one of them - Raudhah- was active in knowing what gossip goes around the school gives me the opportunity to find out later.
After time, it actually did bug me or rather irritates me at how everyone was treating me as though I was some scary virus they needed to avoid. I rolled my eyes and looked away from them. Once a group of guys was pointing at my direction, whispering and laughing aloud. I made a bold move and stick my tongue out at one of them when he caught my gaze, went passed their direction, and coughed and uttered aloud "Hmph, childish!" They all snoted and gave me dirty looks. One of them shouted, "Oh yea? At least we're not losers who's life is unstable!" They burst out laughing and I continued ignoring them and walked away.
My heart sank and thumped. What the hell were they talking about; 'unstable'? My heart grew anxious. Where's my friends? Especially Raudhah. I'm growing curious to what that Lizard Shaliza said about me. Recess came. I bought a chocolate waffles and milo and sat on an empty table. I haven't seen Layla, Raudhah and Hassan since morning. Hassan didn't make the attendence. I guess he's absent. But I knew the other two was supposed to be at school.
Suddenly, I saw my two friends. I waved at them to come over. I was scared that they were going to act like the others and ignore me but they didn't and was heading towards me. Suddenly Shaliza butt in out of no where. "You two really don't wanna come anywhere to close to her- believe me." She tried to convince my friends. They two just looked puzzled.
Anger blarred inside me. "And why the hell is that, lizard?" Her nose cringed when I called her 'lizzard'. But then she just smirked. "Oh Savanah. You know how fitting that name is for you instead of Sakinah or whatever?"
"Skipped to the point straight will you?" I gave her a bored steady expression.
"Tell me. How was your life like in your old school?" I was shock at the random question that seemed to have came out of nowhere.
"Did you have friends or were you just ...lonely?" She gave me a fake pout and a sinister smile. I stared at the floor as memories of my last school came flooding in. I pressed my fists from behind me. No. I had no friends. At first, I did. But when they realise bad things always seem to happen to me, they got far away from me as possible. They used to tease me, made fun of me. I used to be shy and those words used to hurt me, but not anymore.
I finally knew where she's headed and I took a deep breath to steady myself. I stared straight into her eyes. "No. I didn't have any friends. But I wasn't lonely because I had loving family who was always there to support me."
"Huh! Loving family?" She snickered. "They probably didn't have a choice, you know I really pitty them from the bottom of my heart. How the heck do they deal with such a misfortunate person?"
I love my family; they're my everything. You can insult me, but when you bring up my family, I won't stay quiet. I advanced on Lizard and pushed her shoulders. "What the hell is wrong with you? Don't you have a life of your own huh you little twit? Don't you ever get tired at being around your stupid self?"
She contorted her face in disgusts and wiped the 'stains' from where I had touched her. "Eww, don't touch me. I don't want to have your bad luck. You know you must have been born on a highway because that's where most accidents happen."
I stared at her. My two friends looked confusedly at me and Lizard back and forth. Lizard told them that she'll explain more later. I looked at the crowd staring at me. This is not worth it. I'm not going to fight. Neither was I going to cry. I am over this. I took the remains of my food and walked away. I made my way to the rooftop. Walking up the stairs, I opened the door and the familiar calming breeze and open space welcomed me.
I felt numb. Empty. I sat down and ate my food quietly. Would Layla and Raudhah stop becoming my friends? I heave a sigh and stared into nowhere. School was almost over. I should just survive this year before I finally graduate. It shouldn't bother me that much, but it did. Lonelyness was one of my deepest fear since I was a kid. When I finished my food, I threw it away on a small thrash there. I approached near the ends of the roof and stared randomly around the sky, the greenary and all around. It was said that these type of things can calm someone down.
Suddenly my eyes caught something. A motor vehicle driving towards the school at a fast speed. It parked itself somewhere near the school but not directly there. I can't help the happiness that flowed inside me at the sight. I ran down the stairs, across the halls and went near the gates of the school in ecstacy. "Hassan!"
He swiftly climbed the locked gates and jumped inside. Man, he arrived really late for school. He didn't seem to notice me. He seemed very distracted. I came just close enough so that he notices me. "Hassan?"
"Sakinah?" He looked surprised but then avoided my gaze. "Sorry, but I kind of want to be alone by myself at the moment." I widen my eyes at him, shock. What, him too? And I thought that he was different. Nicer. I traced my steps backwards and ran away from him shaking my head in disbelief. I went to the toilet, almost breaking down. I wiped my tears and forced all my strenght to keep it all in.
I'm stronger than this, I'll make it through.
When I went out of there. I saw Shaliza in the distance. A few guys had just flirted with her. They seemed attracted at Shaliza's mean persona. Some weirdos. Shaliza sat above a desk. Her legs was crossed. From her expression, I could easily tell she likes all the attention. Her friends was close to her.
"Hey, am I pretty?" She asked her friends.
"Most definitely." They replied.
"Very pretty?" She played with the strands in her hair and looked down shyly.
"Positive." She's just trying to brag wasn't she?
" But am I too pretty for my own good? I mean, I'm getting tired of so many guys flirting with me. Do you think I'm just that irresistable? Like too pretty?" Her friends seemed to get a little bored of repeating themselves again and again.
I rolled my eyes. She reminded me of some narcicistic Jerk that I know who happens to be her boyfriend. "Don't worry lizard. Your'e the same ugly just like last time." Two can play the game. She's a fool if she thinks that she can bring me down and I was going to stay quiet. I've changed. I'm braver and bolder than last time.
They all stared at me puzzled. Her friends were trying to hold back their laughter. Shaliza seemed angered. I must have strucked a nerve on her. "Oh yeah? Then why do many guys flirt with me?" She challenged.
I shrugged my shoulders. "Don't cheap things have many buyers?"
She seemed taken aback. "EXCUSE ME, are you implying that I'm cheap?!" She held her hand on her chest for emphasis as she narrowed her eyes at me.
I pout and shruged as I gave her an innocent look, "I don't know. Am I?"
Shaliza shook her head, amused. "You know, I am way richer then you. I don't care what you say. Many guys like me, unlike you. You're an unwanted, poor little creature set off to die unmarried and lonely." She jumped and stood from her seat to face me directly.
"Oh yeah?" I challenged her this time, trying to hide the hurt and keep a straight face.
"Positive. Just look at your clothes. All covered up. What, do you have low self-esteem? " She snickered loudly and looked around their friends as they joined along laughing at me. She then smiled sweetly as if she had just won.
Steady Sakinah...I kept telling myself. I won't let them beat me down. Though I could've just left quietly, I felt dissatisfied. I felt needed to bring Shaliza back down to her righful place and to fight fire with fire. I needed her to know I'm not someone who she should mess with; I'm tired of her attitude I bundled up for so long.
"Clothes don't define me. I'm someone who treasures modesty. And I'm still not convinced that you're rich because if you are, then why can't you afford to buy longer and loose pair of clothes that don't look like they were going to suffocate you to death? I mean, what are those? Clothes you're preserving from kindergarten?" I snickered and waved my right hand dismissively in the air as if I made an innocent silly little joke but enough to strike on her nerves.
"This is called style you brat! Some idiot nerd like you won't understand."
"Face it, you're ugly. Maybe not so on the outside, but definately on the inside. No 'style' can fix you." I retorted.
"Says The Ugly girl who's probably too ugly and embarassed to show herself to the world!"
"That's not it. I'm just too awesome, that's why." I bumped her shoulders and left her there as I walked away.
Stay strong, stay strong. I kept telling myself.
***
Everyone was still alienating me. Some mocked me and even made fun of me. Most of them were just on Shaliza's side anyways. I just bit my lip and tried to not let it get to me as I walked away. Time passed and before I knew it, it was already second recess. I was minding my own business and kept a straight face, still hiding hurt and showing numbness.
"Sakinah?" Layla and Raudhah called me from afar. I was taken aback by them but then walked faster to get away from them. Any more teasing and I might actually break my 'strong' facade.
"Sakinah!" They caught on to me. Layla grabbed my shoulders to stop me. I pushed all their arms away from me roughly. "What is it 'friends'? Don't you want to stay as far away from me as possible? Don't want to get all tangled up with my bad luck right?" My eyes was teary. I couldn't help it. It hurts me, deep. Not because of Shaliza. But because I actually cared and loved my friends. We had build many great memories together and it actually left a scar on me that it had to come to this.
"S-Sakinah?" They seemed shocked at my tears and I grew self concious again. I ran away from them. I must've looked helpless in their eyes. "Sakinah! Shaliza's just jealous of you!" But I ignored their voices. I continued running, pushing my way though the crowd. I kept my eyes attached to the floor so no one could see my teary eyes.
I bumped into something hard. Someone. Snap. It just had to be Jerk of all people. I stared at the floor so he didn't see my tears and turned around to make a run for it but two familiar high-heeled legs blocked my path. I looked up only to see Shaliza smirking down. "Aww...Poor girl Savanah is crying!" She pouted and smiled sickly sweet I just wanted to throw up.
"What?" I could hear Jerk's shocked voice who made his way around my back and standing directly beside Shaliza so he could examine me. I quickly rubbed my eyes dry with my arm and stared directly at them. I huffed when I realised there was no way out. This has got to be my worst nightmare ever; Jerk and Lizard joining forces to attack me.
I didn't know how to respond and thinked hard of a smart reply. I just knew I had to attack them before they get a chance to bring me down again. "Not now Cockroach!"
"Cockroach...?" Jerk raised an eyebrow and gave me a weird look.. Shoot, why oh why among many of my lame moments it just had to be now when these two biggest devils could squash me with bigger striking profanities any time soon.
I sniffed, "Yes. Cockroach,"
"I thought I was 'Jerk', why Cockroaches all of a sudden?"
"B-Because..." I staggered.
"Because?" He stared me down with a hint of amusement as he waited for me think of a reply.
I stared lamely at the floor. Yeah, why cockroaches? Cockroaches...Cockroaches. Then, it finally hit me. "BECAUSE I absolutely HATE and DETEST Cockroaches the same way I do you!! There you have it. Cockroack and Lizard, aren't you two just a lovely couple?" I almost shouted, satisfied and the smart spontaneous response I made.
Just then, the bell rang. I bumped my shoulders hardly against Shaliza's and Jerk's shoulders purposefully and walked away to head for class. I held my head high trying my best to look as confident as I could. I was not playing victim any longer. I don't care if I had to play a predator just like them in hope they may finally stop messing around with me.
Once in the class, I sat on my usual seat. Beside me- where Hassan usually sat- was empty. I looked around breifly despite many dirty stares staring right at me. Jerk and Shaliza was not here either. I sighed relief. The teacher wasn't in again. That bothered me that I was left to handle all the other people who had their stares right at me for quiet a while now. I shifted uncomfortably.
"Hey...Psst...Sakinah...Over here..." I traced the voice of a guy who was whispering at me. He was sitting in front of me, two seats from my left. He was the same guy I called 'childish' from earlier. Once he confirmed I was starring his way, he sticked his tounge out mockingly. I flinched and pretended to open a book as I occupy myself into reading it. He snickered at my reaction which made me slightly irritated but I kept quiet anyways.
"Hey...Hey...," a different guy from behind me near my right whispered at me to catch my attention. I tried my best to gnore him. Suddenly, I felt a scrunched up paper being thrown at my head. "Stop ignoring me Brat!"
"WHAT?" I looked behind me agitated and annoyed. It was the other guy from the same group that I attacked earlier. "Hey..Is it true that on your last school you were assigned a group assignment. The paper dropped from your hands, it blew in the wind and fell on a drain?"
"Oh, oh! I heard it differently! Is it true that you dropped the assignment, it flew, then when you and your team caught up to it, you found a random rabbit was eating on it midway?" Another guy pipped in excitedly. Those stories was way exaggerated though part of it was true.
"Shut up!" I turned back to my book, flipping it angrily. My mind was too occupied to concentrate on it's content now. They both snickered and a few girls giggled.
"Leave her alone! Just mind your own business and let her be...," Raudhah voiced from behind me. Was she...defending me?
"Shut up, B****! I wasn't talking to you in the first place so why don't you mind your own business?!" Raudhah and Layla flinched and so did I. I held on the book I was holding tighter whispering for Allah to strenghten me and give me the patience to withstand His test.
The guy returned his attention towards me. "Hey, hey...misfortunate girl...hey..Heeey.." he put on a girly voice and the others snickered amusedly at the scene. I bit my lip as I tried to ignore them unsuccessfully.
Suddenly, a loud filled laughter reverberated through the room. Now the whole class was staring at the front door where there Hassan was standing with his back against the wall, still laughing full of humor. "Misfortunate...girl? I was wondering why everyone was behaving weirdly" He resumed laughing. I looked at him puzzled so was the rest of the class. I heard a light passing whisper from the girls behind me, "Wow. So he did have a voice after all." I guess for most students it was their first time to hear Hassan's voice since he's usually quiet and reserved.
Suddenly, he stopped laughing and his voice fell serious. He eyed the guy behind me sharply and fiercely. "Are you all REALLY seniors in this Highschool? Are you even educated? There is no such thing as a 'misfortunate girl who always brings bad luck' shit. Those are just some stupid myths!" Some looked down on their desks shyly and taking in his words that kind of made sense. They seemed embarrassed that they actually fall for what Shaliza told them so easily.
"Sakinah. Follow me."
I was taken aback, "W-What? W-where?"
Hassan took a marker close by and wrote on the whiteboard with big yet acceptably neat handwritting compared to some teachers I know. It wrote, ' COMMON SENSE' and was underlined twice beneath it. "There. While I'm gone, I want you all to ponder whether any of you still had some of this.' He snorted disgustedly. Then he went directly towards me and eyed signalled me out of classroom door sharply. I was too shocked and frozen so I obeyed quietly as I got up from my seat staggering and shuffled my way out. I was still wondering what had happened back then and why was there a need to follow his demand like a lost puppy.
As soon as I was out, he followed suit and walked ahead of me by a few steps and I just follow along his footsteps. Finally I realised we were actually headed to the rooftop. My heart was beating anxiously. Once we reached the top, which wasn't far since our class was on the third floor and the roof was on the fourth, Hassan turned around to face me. "What happened when I was gone, tell me everything." He demanded calmly yet sharp enough for me to start panicing.
"I-I don't know. Shaliza found some juicy stories about me from my old school and shared with everyone so everyone would alienate me I guess." I staggered on my words, still not understanding why I was.
"Shaliza," he closed his eyes in focus then reopened it, "Mirza's girlfriend?"
"N-Not Mirza. J-Jerk. Who's Mirza anyways?"
Hassan rolled his eyes. "So is 'Jerk' related to what Shaliza is doing to you right now?"
"I don't know, maybe. Wait, you're not my boss! Stop doing whatever you're doing that's making me do everything you tell me to!" I clenched my fist near my chest angrily.
Hassan totally ignored me. His misty grey eyes focus on the floor, thinking. I stood there awkwardly. Hassan was giving me the creeps. I don't know why, but somehow the way he's acting reminded me of a dad who was thinking of ways to beat up the guy who had been messing with his daughter just like in Tv shows. Not that Hassan was my dad, just his expression right now was giving me the same message.
I stared at the door, wondering if I could walk away now. I looked past the door and at Hassan back and forth still debating with myself. "I don't know that much about you." Hassan sighed in defeat but was as if talking to himself instead of me as he rubbed his chin in a thinking manner. Suddenly his eyes focus on me and I quickly put my right leg on it's place before it had tried to make the first excape to the door smiling innocently and very afraid as though I was caught guilty and going to get punnished somehow.
"Tell me, before I moved into this school how was Jerk and Shaliza treating you?"
I was puzzled by his question. I recalled all those memories then sighed exaspereted as if I was living back all those pain again. "Like crap, to summarise it all I guess. Shaliza, most of the time I retorted back with treating her like crap in return so I guess we're even. Jerk, sometimes I do, but not as much since he's a guy and...I don't know...So far it always ended badly on my side. He's my neighbour.."
"Wait, YOU'RE WHAT?!" Hassan widen his eyes in terror.
"My neighbour," I repeated myself, "I moved into the neighbourhood this year and just beside his house. I caught on to his bad side immediately and that's where all the fighting started I guess. Same with Shaliza."
"I see, " Hassan nodded undestandingly, "well now I don't want you fighting your own battle alone. You have me as your ally, remember?" I looked up at him unexpectedly smiling at me and I smiled in return, happy. Well that's nice to hear, that I'm not alone against Jerk any longer.
"So I take it you weren't mad at me?" I asked recalling what he said to me when I met him near the school gates when he arrived.
"What? Of course not." I guess now's the perfect time to tell him.
"Good. Cause I broke your secret again."
"That's o-, wait... WHAT? Again?!" He almost shouted when he registered what I said.
I narrowed my eyes in fear with both my hands in defensive mode again just in case. I decided to just mumble it quickly to get it over with, "Yeah, but only to my mother. It's the second which.. was.. the biggest one?"
"Is that supposed to make me feel better. WAIT, you mean part about AHRAQAH?" This time, I had moved two steps backwards cautiously. Hassan took deep breaths to steady himself. He rubbed his temples and shook his head. "Why oh why did I trust you with my secrets? I don't seem to remember anymore..."
"Hey! Let's view it in the good perspective shall we? It is all but for a good purpose I had." I said defensively offended by what he said.
He stared at me non commitedly giving it a go. "Let me guess, noodles?"
"W-W ABSOLUTELY NOT! That's preposterous, what type of low life do you think I am?!"
He looked at me accusingly with his bored grey eyes. His dark eyebrows frowning at me. "Okay fine! I may have did it once! But this is different."
He didn't look convinced though. I ignored him and looked around us conciously, "Before I get to it...Is Ahraqah here like right now ...listening to all this?" I whispered.
He frowned deeper, "No..Not right now. She's elsewhere. Why?"
I sighed, relieved! "Shh, not too loud... If she hears this, I might die! Anyways, my mum turns out to be the perfect person to tell. You see, my very distant uncle- whom I'm not that close to- happen to be someone who's experienced in this kind of stuffs. He Can actually help you get rid of Ahraqah."
"Wait SERIOUSLY?" Hassan was grinning ear to ear by now not bothering to hide his excitement from the news. His cute dimples was showing and I can't help smiling back proudly at myself. For once, I actually did something right.
"Yeah, yeah, save it. Now I want to know why you acted so coldly towards me earlier when i greeted you?" Now it was my turn to get mad at him.
Hassan didn't quite get it until finally realisation swept across his face then he turned sorrow all over again. "My Mum will undergo a critical life-threatening operation in two to three days time. I'm afraid I have the chance of actually losing her. "
My heart instantly dropped at the news. "I-I'm sorry to hear that." My voice bitter as I stared at the ground feeling his pain remembering how my grandparents passed away earlier this year.
"Hey, do you really think God exist?"
"What? Of course."
"Then tell me, why do God let good people suffer while while the bad people roam freely? This definitely doesn't sound fair! I mean, doesn't God know all that's happening?!" His voice sounded angry and devastated at the same time.
"Hassan...That doesn't sound right. Of course Allah knows, Allah is all seing and hearing!"
"Then why doesn't He do something?"
I sighed. Hassan reminded me of back then. "Qadak and Qadar is not that simple to explain. You may not understand it now, but everything happens under His will and existed for a reason." I remembered what my Mum preeched me thousand times before by heart.
Hassan snorted. "That sounded scripted."
"Look, I'm not a scholar okay? I may sometimes not understand fully Allah's wisdom behind Qadak and Qadar either. And though I may have millions of doubts in my mind about many things, one thing I was 100% certain was that God- or Allah as we Muslims refer Him- definitely exist without a doubt in my heart."
I left him and opened the doors that led me out of the rooftop. I was slightly annoyed at him asking me about Allah so much then accusing that He doesn't exist. Though I may not be a scholar, I sincerely believe from the bottom of my heart that Allah exist. But some of his questions did leave me wondering. I planned asking my Mum the sooner I get home.
Just on time, the school bell rang signalling that school was over. I was already headed towards the gates, making my way out. I bumped into Layla and Raudhah who literally ran after me and block me from running away- not that I was planning to.
"WAIT! Before you run away again we really need to explain!" Layla's voice was almost begging.
Raudhah put both her hands on each side of my shoulder, her arms was stretched out and she was directly facing me. Her eyes widen right at me desperate to convince me. It definitely didn't help that her eyes was naturally round and big in the first place. I felt my eyes involuntarily widen at her huge glare. "PLEASE! You have got to understand, what happened back then was actually..."
I pushed all their arms away. "Save it."
"So you won't forgive us no matter what?" They both looked at me sadly.
"YOU," I pointed my forefinger at Layla, " still owe me Pepsi!"
"And YOU," I now point my forefinger at Raudhah, "owe me a huge bowl of fishball noodles!"
I folded my arms and looked away from them, "don't think I still don't hold a grudge on that, I want them both ready on my table by first recess tomorrow!"
There was a few seconds of silence then filled with their excited voices all muffled to one, "DEAL!"
"So...friends?" Raudhah looked up expectedly.
"Friends." I smiled.
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This chapter wasn't completed, part two will be coming. Hope it wasn't draggy or anything. Oh yes, I'm guilty of writing super long chapters. ;P From now on I can't promise updates will come as soon because of school. I think I haven't been on Wattpad in ages!
Anyways, gotta go..bye. (I'll do a re-check on this 2morrow, it's kinda late XP)