To say that I was surprised that Jax didn't come back the next day was an understatement. I was sure that he would be back bright and early the next morning and I would have to kick him out again. I even thought about telling the nurses not to let him in. But he didn't show up. I tried to tell myself it was what I wanted. I told him to leave after all. Still, the fact that he actually listened stung.
My doctor came in shortly after I was served an awful institutional breakfast to tell me Debbie cleared me to leave. Obviously, I wasn't going to call Jax to pick me up. Gemma probably wasn't a good choice either seeing as I pretty much took Jax's heart out and stomped on it. But of course, my life was full of surprises. Before I could pick up the phone Gemma waltzed in.
"Morning." She said.
Her tone wasn't angry or even happy. I swallowed hard and tried to smile at her.
"Morning Gem." I said softly.
She chewed on the inside of her lip and crossed her arms over her chest.
"Jax been by?" She asked.
She already knew the answer. I could see it in her eyes. I couldn't exactly tell though if she was angry or not. I shook my head as an answer and she plopped down in the chair beside the bed.
"So when can I bust you out of this joint?"
I blinked at her and tilted my head. Why wasn't she trying to kill me? If I knew anything about Gemma Teller it was do not under any circumstances hurt her son. There was no way that Jax didn't go running to mommy right after he left here last night so she has to know what happened. Unless she thinks what I did was right; unless she was feeling guilty about something.
"Actually I can leave right now." I said.
I managed to keep the suspicion out of my voice and she seemed to buy it. Gemma nodded and stood up from the chair.
"Then what are we waiting for? There's a little boy that's missed the hell out of you waiting for you." She said with a smile.
Gemma reached down and grabbed the suitcase that Jax had brought and tossed it onto the bed. She muttered something about getting a coffee and left me to get dressed. When she came back, I was pulling my hair up in a bun.
"All set?" She asked from the doorway.
I nodded and picked up the suitcase. She took it from me and shrugged. As we passed the nurse's station, Debbie came around the corner and called my name. Gemma raised her eyebrow as I stopped walking.
"Take care, sweetheart. If you need anything you know where to find me." Debbie said with a soft smile.
I returned it and she pulled me in for a hug. Gemma mumbled something about psycho-babble bullshit and I rolled my eyes. Once we were outside, we both lit up a cigarette. I sighed deeply as the sweet poison entered my lungs. Three days without a smoke was enough to drive you mad.
Gemma didn't say anything for a while. To be honest, I preferred it. Sometimes Gemma had a tendency to twist things and make you feel worse than you already do and that's exactly not what I needed right now. But of course, she couldn't keep quiet for long.
"Abel misses his mommy." She said finally.
I snapped my head to look at her. My eyes narrowed and clenched my fists.
"I'm not his mother, Gemma." I spat.
She swallowed hard and gripped the wheel.
"Yes, you are." She said firmly.
I didn't say anything back. I loved that boy with my whole heart and while I have taken care of him for a while, he's still not my son. I didn't know who his mother was, but I did know that at any time she could come back into his life and take him back. Gemma probably wouldn't allow it but it was still on the table.
A thought struck me. Since Jax and Gemma are thicker than thieves he more than likely told her about Tara. I had to wonder whose side she was on.
"Do you think he was going to tell me?" I asked her quietly.
She glanced sideways at me. I watched her suck her bottom lip into her mouth and start chewing on it.
"I know you know, Gemma."
Gemma peeked at me out of the corner of her eye and sigh.
"He was going to the night you ODed. Up until now, I thought that was why you did it." She confessed.
I only nodded and kept my gaze fixed out the window.
"If Jax didn't tell you, how did you find out?" She asked after a few beats of silence.
I closed my eyes and remembered hiding out in the club house and hearing Tara tell Jax she was pregnant.
"I was getting Abel some juice and I heard them talking." My voice cracked as I spoke.
"Oh baby, I'm so sorry." She said softly.
I looked at her for a moment. She had a sincere look on her face and I knew that she was on my side. That was unbelievable. She would literally kill for Jax, but I could tell she was not happy with him. Having Gemma in my corner would definitely help me in the long run. When we pulled up to Jax's house, I was relieved to see his bike wasn't there.
"They had some club shit to do." Gemma said as if reading my thoughts.
I nodded once and we went inside. Neeta was feeding the baby and he smiled and reached out as soon as he saw me. My heart swelled and rushed to see him.
"Hi baby." I said as I kissed the top of his head.
Neeta set the spoon down and gathered me in a bone crushing hug.
"I'm so glad you're alright." She said in relief.
I just nodded and held her back. When she pulled back, she kept her hand on my shoulders.
"Don't ever scare me like that again." She said seriously.
Tears were swimming in her eyes and one had slipped down her cheek. I reached out and wiped it away with my thumb.
"I won't. I promise." I whispered.
She just smiled and nodded and went back to feeding the baby. Gemma told her she could leave and before she did, she gave me a kiss on the cheek and told me if I needed to talk she was there to listen. After Gemma put the baby down for a nap, we sat down at the table and just stared at each other. I knew she wanted to say something but she couldn't find the words. So I said them for her.
"How exactly is this supposed to work, Gem? I mean he's having a baby with his ex who used to be the love of his life. Where do I fit in in all of this?"
I threw my hands in the air and looked around the room. Gemma fiddled with the lighter in her hands and followed my gaze.
"Do you love Jax?" She asked me.
Her eyes pinned me down and narrowed mine.
"Do you seriously need to ask me that?"
She swallowed hard and looked away. I studied her face for the first time in a while. Gemma was at war with herself. Of course she wanted to stand behind her son. She always has no matter what he's done. This time though, I could tell that she's having a real problem with that. A part of me was actually pleased.
"Baby, all I can say is he loves you with his whole heart. He would do anything for you and I think he's already proven that, but he won't abandon his child. You've already accepted his first son as your own and I think you're strong enough to take on another." She said.
This was the Queen talking. In her eyes, you should do anything you have to in order to keep the club together. If I left Jax, it could hurt the club and that just wasn't going to fly. But this wasn't as simple as me taking over as Abel's mother. I took a deep breath and laid my hands flat on the table.
"And how do you see that playing out? Jax, Tara, and I all playing house together? Or maybe her just giving the baby up like Abel's mother did?" I rolled my eyes and sat back in my chair.
Gemma just shrugged and lit a cigarette.
"Accidents happen all the time, baby." She said.
I shook my head in disgust.
"Gemma stop it. You know that Jax would never let anything happen to the mother of his child. How could you even say anything like that?"
She sighed and flicked the ashes into the ashtray.
"What would you do?" I asked her quietly.
Her eyes locked onto mine as she took a long drag.
"Cut his balls off." She said seriously.
I swallowed hard and reminded myself not to get on her bad side.
"But seriously, I think you deserve better. Don't get me wrong I love my son. But I love you too and I hate what he's doing to you. He thinks he can have his cake and eat it too, and I think he needs a reality check." She said softly.
I closed my eyes and hung my head in my hands. It wasn't going to be easy, but I knew what I needed to do.
7//.