On the Devil's Path {a SOA sequel}

Chapter sixteen

JAX

Tick....tick...tick...

The persistent ticking of the clock above the door was the only sound in the room after McKayla had left. Tara shifted uncomfortably from her right foot to her left and looked down at the ground.

"What are you doing here, Tara?" I asked her finally.

She sighed and ran her hands over her face.

"I saw your name in the ER and I got scared." She said.

I didn't look at her and she didn't look at me. The air was thick with words and thoughts that neither of us were willing to share.

"You didn't have to come down here." I said softly.

Tara looked up at me and clasped her hands together.

"I wanted to. I needed to, Jax. When I saw your name on that board, I was scared shitless. I didn't know what happened to you or if you were even alive, but I had to find out. I had to see you." She said.

I looked at her for the first time since she walked into the room. She was holding her hands in front of her because she was shaking slightly. A single tear was rolling down her cheek and she was looking at me.

"Tara, I'm fine. You don't have to worry about me anymore." I said.

She took a step towards my bed.

"Jax, don't you get it? I will always worry about you. I know I shouldn't but I do. Especially after that night." She said.

Shit. It was Tara that I slept with while McKayla was away. I had forgotten all about it until she mentioned it. I sighed and covered my eyes with my hand.

"Shit Tara, I was drunk that night. I was going through some shit and I called you because I was thinking about the past." I said.

"I know you were drunk, I'm not an idiot Jax. But you did call me. I know I shouldn't have even answered the phone let along come to your house, but I had to. You can't tell me that you didn't feel anything. You can't tell me that it didn't feel right, that it didn't feel comfortable."

She was pleading with me. I heard it in her voice. She's used that tone with me dozens of times before. Usually it was regarding leaving the club or telling her club shit. This time was different. She was asking me to love her. Tara Knowles has always been the one running away from her feelings towards me. Now after everything that has happened between us, she's trying to run back.

As much as I wanted to, I couldn't lie to her. I wanted to say with everything in me that it meant nothing. That it was just a drunken mistake and I didn't feel a thing. I wanted to, but I couldn't. She was right. I've loved Tara since I was 16 years old and being with her felt right. But did it, or was it just drunk memories getting stirred up by loneliness?

"I've tried to forget you Jax. I left Charming again, tried to work, tried to date, I've tried everything I could to leave you in the past. But I realized in Chicago I felt empty without you. That's why I came back. When I came to your door, I half expected you to welcome me in. So I wasn't shocked when you slammed the door in my face. What did shock me, was finding out you had a new girlfriend. For some reason I thought you'd never be able to find someone after me. And when you called me that night, drunk and alone, I knew there was a part of you that still loved me. That's why I went to you. That's why I slept with you Jax. I know deep down inside you still love me."

When she finished, she put her hand on the door handle and turned to leave.

"I know you think you're in love with her Jax, but you will always come back to me."