Copper and Benji were best friends since high school. They were like Holmes and Watson, Donkey and Shrek, Tonto and Lone Ranger, Frodo and Sam, basically, they were the shadows of every iconic hero and sidekick. Though, they were both sidekick material. Benji was the leader of the two-man group, only because he was good at cleaning the flat and looking through the paper for job opportunities. He didn't like the job he was doing, which was driving around London collecting people's rubbish. Copper at least had a more social career, which was sorting at the mail room. Both were an exercise in boredom, making them all the more excited to meet afterwards at the flat and go to their favourite pub, White Horse. They didn't spend much on large TVs, cars, or clothes, so they had plenty of money to spend on a somewhat luxurious evening out.
"You got two quid, mate?" Copper asked, his eyes fixed on the movie store across the street.
"Why?" Benji inquired, nipping at a hangnail he had gotten earlier from catching the top of his finger on a cardboard flap.
"I want to buy a movie."
Benji's lips pulled up in disbelief and his steel blue eyes, the right one stained with a dot of rust, became two slivers. "For two quid? I've only got a fiver, and that's barely going to buy two lagers. Maybe, I don't know. I should know."
"It's for Fiona. She loves movies, and I want to buy her a lot."
Benji grabbed Copper by the shoulders and turned him so that they were looking at one another straight on. "No, not for two quid. You're not going to get her a lot anyway, they're bloody expensive."
"I know, I know, but, please?" Copper pleaded, trying hard to look pathetic.
"No."
"Why not?"
"Because you're daft," Benji spat out, knowing it had no logical connection to his friend's request.
"I'm not daft, you're daft."
"I'm not, you're the one who wants to spend my money for your girlfriend. What happened to the hundred quid I gave you last week?"
"I spent it!" Copper yelped.
"On what?" Benji shouted, trying not to get irritated, which he so often found himself whenever he had a discussion with Copper. He glanced at his hangnail and found he was progressing more to a bloody finger than a clean tear. He shook his hand violently to rid of the stinging pain.
"I bought you those new shoes, remember?"
Benji looked down and swiveled both his feet. "Oh, yeah, thank you."
"You're welcome."
"But you're still not getting it."
"Getting what?"
"The two quid."
"Oh, yeah. Can I have five-p then?"
"No! You're not getting anything!" Benji said through a chuckle. He placed his hands on his hips in a parental manner.
"Why not again?"
"Because Fiona has a massive collection already and she doesn't need more, at least with my money. Come on, this is our night in the town." Benji slipped an arm around Copper's sunken shoulders and tugged him into a walk. For the first few steps, Copper refused to join, but then when he saw that Benji would not remove his arm, he reluctantly followed. Benji's eyes half-mast and he pushed his jaw forward in anger. He turned to his pouting friend and sighed loudly. "Stop being an idiot, and cheer up!"
"I'm not an idiot."
"I said stop being an idiot. I didn't say you were." Benji waggled his head and blew his lips out in exhaustion of the conversation. He held up two fingers and said in a softer voice, "'Being an idiot' and 'you are an idiot' are two different categories." Copper didn't reply, but looked at the pavement with growing sorrow. "Hey, look! It's Angelina Jolie!"
"Where?" Copper's head sprung up like a newborn flower, his eyes wide and a goofy smile plastered across his face.
"She wasn't there. I was lying. I was trying to cheer you up."
"How is lying to me about my ultimate fantasy going to cheer me up?" Copper's face dimmed down like a dying bulb. "Whatever, keep your two quid." He threw an arm over Benji's small shoulders and began walking to the pub.
"That's better. Now, what are you going to get? The regular?"
"Yeah. And you?"
"The same."
"Water?" Copper guessed, even though he knew the answer. He reached out and pulled the large chestnut door open. He gestured Benji to go first.
"Of course. Though, I think I'll spice it up this time?"
"Going to drink from a straw?" Copper smiled mischievously.
"No, going to add ice this time."
"You're off the chain tonight, man!"
Benji lifted his chin proudly and marched inside the pub, his arms swinging stiffly by his side like a clumsy soldier. He turned to Copper, clicked his red trainers together and saluted with the wrong hand. "Are you ready, my fine mate?"
Copper copied, though, he used the correct hand. "Ready as ever!"
The two joined arms like school-girls and marched to the bar. When they reached the counter, they placed their right elbows on the table and then, with their left hand, rapped on the table at the same time. The bartender turned around and gave them a forced smile that didn't stay on the face for very long.
"What will it be?"
"Just a lager and a water--," Copper began before Benji piped in.
"With ice!"
"Yes, with ice."
The bartender nodded his head and took out two glasses. He filled one up with golden bubbles, topped with a rim of white froth, and then filled the other with water and three cubes of ice. He placed them on the counter. "Will that be all for the gentlemen?"
"Indeed," Copper and Benji chorused.
"Two pounds for the beer."
"I've got this one." Benji pulled out the fiver and handed it to the tender. "Keep the change, my friend will be getting more anyway." Benji crossed his legs comfortably, letting his ankle rest across his knee and lifted the cold glass to his lips before someone knocked it in his face.
"Hey, we saw you on tellie this evening, you bloke!" shouted a taunting voice.
With his eyes shut and water dripping down his face, Benji managed to reply in a collected tone, "Parker. Didn't expect you'd be here."
"Fancy another bet?" Parker pushed Copper aside and rested half his torso on the counter. Staring at Benji, he hissed, "Come on, you'd like this one. Can't lose."
"Rather not. And don't push my friend." Benji handed the glass to the bartender who refilled it with no question or aid to the growing confrontation.
"Not like he won't break anything. He's too fat!"
Benji snarled deep in his throat and hopped off the chair, just to find himself six inches shorter than Parker. He rolled his eyes and climbed back onto the stool. They were eye to eye again. In his most menacing voice, Benji said, "You insult my friend again, I'll knock your teeth out."
"I'd like to see you try," Parker challenged, baring his rather frightening large teeth.
Benji's eyes widened and he took a gulp from his water. "Is that a bet?"
"Could be."
"Then never mind."
Parker snorted and said in a luring tone. "There's a girl in the booth in the back. She looks like she could use a talk. Like I said, you can't lose." He knocked Benji off the chair and cackled.
Thankfully, Benji landed on his feet. He turned to Copper for assistant, but instead found him disappointingly playing a video game. He turned to Parker and straightened his shirt. "Fine. What's the deal?"
"If you can get her to kiss you, we'll pay all unpaid debts."
"That's a double negative, right? The word 'debts' already mean you need to pay them. Saying 'unpaid debts' is like saying, 'debts debts'!" Benji laughed like a struggling boat engine, but seeing that his dark companion didn't join in, he closed his mouth. "Right, I'll go and have talk with her then?"
Parker jerked his head in that direction with a straight face. Benji took in a deep breath, clapped his hands together, and walked straight to the leggy brunette with long hair and heavy make-up. Benji glanced over at Parker, who had taken his place at the bar, and swallowed in uncertainty. He looked over at the lady and walked up to the booth. Leaning over, he said politely, "This seat taken?"
The lady looked up and her face brightened up. She scooted over and patted the space beside her. "Do sit down! I didn't think anyone would join me, how nice of you."
Benji laughed nervously and sat down beside her. She was bigger in person. Clearing his throat, Benji said, "Can I get you a drink?"
"Had four already," the lady rattled before breaking out into a screaming laugh, as if she was showing everyone in the pub how loud she could be.
Benji shrunk back and patted his temporarily damaged ear. "Well, all right. My name's Benji Dore."
"How cute. I'm Tasha. And just Tasha."
"Oh, right, that's a very good name." Benji glanced over at Parker. Parker raised him a glass of beer and guzzled several mouthfuls. Benji moved in closer and scratched the side of his head. "What do you like doing?"
Tasha let out another laugh and placed both her arms around Benji's shoulders. "I like good company."
"Really?" Benji squirmed under her surprisingly heavy arms and looked up again at his audience. He spotted Copper doing frantic hand motions under his chin, but it was hard to tell if he was warning him or dancing to a made-up tune in his head.
"You're really nice, Benji," Tasha said, stroking his small, sculpted ears. She neatened up his shirt and patted his chest softly before taking his face in her hands. They stared at one another, one more frightened than the other. And then, without a warning, Tasha gave him a wild snogging, one that had Parker in an uproar and Copper jumping up and down.
"Benji!" Copper yelled as he bumbled his way through the chairs and tables. He snatched Benji by the arm and whirled him towards the entrance. "That's Tasha!" He stopped and leaned in to whisper, "What do you think you’re doing? She’s a working girl."
"What?" Benji mowed his arms across his lips and looked around for a glass of water.
"You can’t go snogging anyone you see, anyway,” Copper said, wiping Benji's face as well before being denied with a shove.
Benji turned to Parker, who was bent over laughing.
"You owe me now, I did the bet, now hand it over!"
Parker straightened up and finished his drink. Wiping his mouth and flinging the excess beverage in Benji's face, he said, "You're such a loser. See you around, twat." He turned and left the pub, his shadow still laughing behind him.
Benji shook his balled fists. "This is absurd. Why do I listen to Parker?"
"Maybe it's because you're scared of what he'll do if you don't?" Copper assumed, moving his hands in a sluggish side to side motion.
"Oh, ping-pong to Hong Kong! I'm not scared of him," Benji shouted through his angered face. He stared at where the fiend had left. His two-colored eye twitched and the corner of his lip lifted in a growl. "Never mind, I am, actually," Benji admitted with an entirely different change of posture. Shaking his head, he looked at Copper, "Am I really a loser?"
Copper made to say something, but stopped himself.
Benji's eyes widened and then the lids came down slowly. His mouth closed to keep from showing his pained heart. Benji looked up at Copper and then down at the floor to hide the fact that his eyes were welling up into a dark pink. Tears shimmered on the edge of his lashes and he dropped his head in defeat. With heavy feet, he made his way to the exit.