~ Chapter 15: Heartbreaker ~
[ Alfredo’s POV: ]
“ ♪ I still believe in love,
I still believe in us,
I hope you believe in us,
the way I believe in us, you don’t see…♪ ”
I watched as Justin sang his heart out at the studio in L.A. He told me earlier this morning that he just couldn’t stop thinking about the pain in his heart—the pain of getting over both Jackie and Alicia at the same time. He barely even got any sleep, since all he was doing in the middle of the night was working on the same song I’m hearing him record right at this very moment:
Heartbreaker.
The power in his voice and the lyrics he sang made me feel more and more sorry for him. I didn’t want my best friend going through all this pain.
“ ♪ You told me to be careful with your heart,
your heart,
You told me to be careful with your heart,
your heart, with your heart. ♪ ”
He finished the song, his chest heaving up and down as he grabbed the water bottle next to him and unscrewed the cap, taking large gulps of the liquid before sealing the cap back in its place and setting down the bottle somewhere near him.
“Justin..” I trailed off, watching him come out from the sound booth and look at me. “That was amazing.”
“Thank you,” he half-smiled, wiping sweat from his forehead.
“Really powerful vocals, bro,” I gave him a thumbs up.
“Thank you,” he repeated.
I then watched him collapse on a chair, taking his phone out and doing god-knows-what in complete silence, not even uttering another word. He had gone into the studio early in the morning and recorded bits and pieces of the song he had written over and over until they were perfect and then he combined them together to complete one, powerful song. It’s now getting late and the moon is now shining bright in the sky and all he could do is sit there on his phone? Isn’t he proud of his work? Isn’t he going to celebrate?
“Justin,” I called his name again, causing him to look up at me. “Why don’t we go and buy some food? I’ll pay for everything in honor of your extremely remarkable hard work.
Justin blinked four times and shook his head vigorously. “No.”
“No?” I sat up properly. “Why not?”
“Because I said no, Fredo,” he spoke with irritation in his voice, catching me by surprise.
“What’s up with you? Don’t you want to celebrate this accomplishment? You created a beautiful song—wrote the lyrics overnight and recorded and finished by day! Aren’t you proud? Don’t you want to do something in celebration of that? You’re a hard-working man, Justin. Cut yourself a break.”
“How is going out to eat celebrating my hard work?” Justin rolled his eyes. “All it’ll do is put more negative media in my ass. I go out, paparazzi shows up, they make a new story, it gets released. Same process. All I’ll accomplish with that is getting more hate.”
My heart sank, the pain in my body becoming excruciating because, in a way, he’s right. It’s so sad that everything that came out of his mouth is one hundred percent accurate and I wish there was something I could say to prove him wrong—that it’s not at all like that, but there just isn’t anything to prove that. I have absolutely no winning argument.
Looking at him at loss of words, I stood up, approaching the exit slowly.
“I’ll be at our hotel room if you need me,” I whispered. He nodded quietly and returned his attention back to his phone. As I walked out from the studio, I felt powerless. There was nothing I could do to bring my best friend back. That happy, 16 year old kid that was living and enjoying life? He’s gone. That little boy Scooter found strumming away at his guitar and singing his heart out? I don’t know where to find him. I don’t know where kidrauhl went.
Later that night, I waited for Justin to come back to our hotel room. It was when the clock finally told me it was one in the morning that I knew he had stayed at the studio—the place he feels more at home in...
[ Jackie’s POV: ]
Though my heart was still broken, an unexplainable ache rushing throughout my veins, it didn’t mean I stopped being a belieber. I would check Twitter and catch up on what’s new, and I’d occasionally hear new rumors about my idol, though the one about the ‘mystery girl’ still hasn’t faded away. It was weird for me because I already knew that I was the mystery girl, so seeing people talk about the rumor on social media sites was uncomfortable. They were talking about me.
I tightened my grip on my pillow, the coziness of my bed engulfing my body, making me feel safe. With a shaky hand, I grabbed my phone and launched the twitter app. I hesitantly scrolled through my timeline, reading tweets about people freaking out because of me—the mystery girl. Everyone wanted to know who I was, and since I’m a belieber myself, I know that the main reason they’re curious is because they want to decide whether or not they approve of the thought of me and Justin in a relationship. It’s a feeling of being overprotective, considering Justin is still getting through a heartbreak.
I sighed, feeling my heart clench as my fingers took a mind of their own, clicking the search button and typing Justin Bieber. His twitter account showed up and I tapped it only to see he had tweeted 5 minutes ago. I curiously read the tweet, the pain in my heart increasing within each passing second.
@justinbieber: I’ve been in the studio all day. sometimes I just have stuff to get off my chest. #newmusic
I blinked three times, my mouth gaping open. He… wrote a song? Is it…. About me?
Upon refreshing his feed, a new tweet showed up, saying it was posted 23 seconds ago.
@justinbieber: new song tomorrow. ready? #heartbreaker
I felt the world tumbling down below me, my vision blurring. There’s no way he wrote a song called ‘heartbreaker’ dedicated to me. I didn’t break his heart. In fact, he kinda broke mine. This song has to be about Alicia. The question is… Did he write it because he’s trying to move on, or because he can’t let go?
I’m so torn… I don’t even know if he’s thought about me ever since he let me go. I don’t even know if he’s regretted his decision yet. I thought he felt something for me. Why is he too scared to fight for me? Maybe it’s just that I’m not worth his time. I’m not worth it at all. I am, always was and always will be just a fan. That’s what breaks my heart the most out of all the agony in my heart…
----
I woke up the next morning with my phone buzzing a notification sound. I grumpily opened my eyes and grabbed the device, raising it at eye level to see I had gotten a text from Robin.
From: Robin<3
Message:
Did you hear Justin’s new song? He released Heartbreaker today. I’m pretty sure it’s about Alicia…
My eyes widened as I let out a loud gasp, the drowsiness I felt fading as I quickly went on to Youtube and searched for the new song. Once it loaded, I pressed play and quietly listened to the lyrics, the hairs on my arms rising at the sound of his voice practically pouring out his feelings through angelic vocals.
My heart strings pulled violently inside my chest and I felt as if I was about to faint. I’ve never felt this heartbroken for myself or for someone else before. I don’t even understand what I’m feeling. Is this what it feels like to be truly broken? To be scared that you may never see the person you love ever again? Or that the person you love may not love you the way you love them? What happens when Justin leaves to do more shows and forgets all about me? It’d be easier to move on from someone like me than for someone like Alicia, considering Justin’s still not over her and it’s obvious in his eyes. The entire time I’ve been with him, I could feel he cares about me, but there was always that shine in his eyes that let me know he was struggling to move on from the love in his heart that belongs to Alicia.
Justin and I never even had a chance to properly start a relationship. So why do I feel so devastated over the fact that there may never be anything real between us?
As tears threatened to spill from my face, I dialed the number that had taken 3 seconds for me to memorize. Pressing the phone to my ear, I counted how many rings it took before it went straight to voicemail.
Hi, it’s Justin. I’m pretty busy being a pop star and stuff so, umm… I’ll call you back when I can. Alright, peace.
Wow, even his voicemail recording was beautiful.
“It’s me,” I spoke into the phone, deciding to leave a voicemail for him, seeing as he probably wasn’t going to pick up his phone all day. “It’s Jackie. I, uhh—… I heard heartbreaker. You did an amazing job, so congratulations.” I paused, thinking of what to say next. I didn’t know what I was going to tell him if he did pick up his phone, so I certainly didn’t know what to say through a voicemail message. “Listen, I’m going to be really honest with you. I—I miss you. There wasn’t a single second since you left that I haven’t thought about you. I truly hope you feel the same but, snapping back to reality, I’m beginning to think you’ve already let go of everything we had. Of you and I. And I still think you’re wrong about… everything. It’s my decision if I want to be with you. I know the price that comes with it and, even if it means the media invading my privacy, it’s worth it if I’m with you. We’re both broken and we need each other so… I just wanted to let you know that… No matter what I…” I paused again, not knowing how to phrase my feelings. “I wanted to let you know that… Well, you mean everything to me, Justin.”
Swallowing hard, I ended the voicemail and fell back on my bed, the tears leaking down my face as I felt a migraine come in. I honestly never thought that life would ever be this complicated for me…
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Well you’re about to feel really, really sorry for a character in this book and I’m just going to apologize beforehand. Lol
And what’d you guys think of the chapter? Still sad, I know but work with me here :P
- Nina xx