Chapter Fourteen
Embarrassed
My throat closed up and I felt really sick all of the sudden. I felt really dizzy and my head started to pound. Both of them were watching me, waiting for me to say something. Time slowed down drastically as I took a deep breath and put my hand to my mouth, running out of the room and towards the bathroom. I slammed the door shut behind me and locked it making sure no one could get in. I threw up, a lot.
What a great answer, when someone I like tells me he likes me I go and throw up. Great Emma, real nice… I heard someone knock on the door. I lay there on the floor by the toilet silently.
“Emma, open up.” It was Jayden. I crawled over to the door and unlocked it collapsing back onto the floor. He opened the door up and closed it behind him. He had a glass of water in his hands and a blanket. He handed me the water to drink but I refused it. I drank water last time, which caused me to throw up.
I closed my eyes as he picked me up. He opened the door and walked towards my room. Noah was in there putting blankets on my bed and then walked to grab the glass of water. Jayden laid me down underneath the covers and tucked me in. I closed my eyes. Jayden left the room as Noah entered. He set the glass of water down on my bed side table and placed a wet washcloth on my forehead.
“I’m so sorry…” I whispered. Noah laughed.
“That wasn’t the exact reaction I was hoping for…” He was teasing me, but I smiled anyways. My eyes were closed but I knew he was watching me.
“You really couldn’t see it?” He asked. I opened my eyes and my guessing was correct; he was starring down at me. I shook my head no.
“I didn’t want to tell you for awhile… but your brother kind of ruined it for me.” He smiled at me. It wasn’t that awkward talking to him as I thought it would be. He was talking low which I was thankful for, because my head really hurt. I felt him grab my hand that was above my head. He squeezed it lightly. I smiled to myself, he laughed at me.
“Why would you wait?” I asked.
“Because, you’re not over Colin yet… and I understand that.” I stayed silent. I forgot about Colin. I buried my head in my pillow trying to hide my face.
“I got to go home…” He whispered. I looked up at him confused.
“I thought you were staying the night?” I asked.
“I said that so you wouldn’t be suspicious, I needed to talk to Jayden.” He smiled. I rolled my eyes and lay back down on my pillow.
“Oh, and don’t forget… we are not done talking about you and Toby…” he said as he let go of my hand and walked out of my room. My eyes snapped open, dang it. Reality still hasn’t hit me; I still don’t believe that Noah just confessed his feelings towards me. Fate was sure on my side today with me getting sick, just my luck. I closed my eyes and tried to sleep.
“Emma, wake up… now.” My eyes shot open as I saw Colin lying down next to me.
“Colin…” I whispered to him. He smiled.
“Is there something you want to tell me?” He asked, playing with my hair. I felt my eyes water.
“Noah…” His hand shot away from me.
“Did he tell you?” He asked, sitting up in front of me.
“What do you mean?” I asked, confused.
“He told you he liked you?”
“Sort of, yea.” I said. “How did you-”
“It’s about time! I was beginning to wonder how long it would take!” He shouted, smiling at me.
“What are you talking about Colin?” I asked.
“It was obvious you two like each other!”
“You’re not mad?” I asked.
“Of course not Emma, if I had to chose anyone it would be Noah.” He was smiling at me.
“I don’t think I can…” I mumbled.
“Emma, I told you I can’t stay in your dreams forever… we don’t have much time as it is anyways.” He was getting impatient.
“No! Please, not yet…” He looked at me with sad eyes.
“I want you to end up with Noah.” He was serious, I could tell. I was going to say something back but he slowly disappeared from my sight and I soon woke up.
I was angry. Everyone wanted me to be with Noah and I did to, honestly I did. I just couldn’t while my mind was always on Colin. I need a girl’s day. I should call Becky; maybe we can go shopping or walk around town. I stood up but then sat back down. I’m sick, I can’t do anything. I sighed and laid back down looking up at the ceiling.
Noah is a great guy, he always has been. We just need to take things slow. I slowly got out of my bed and walked to the kitchen. Jayden was eating a bowl of frosted flakes and drinking a glass of orange juice.
“How are you feeling?” He asked, taking a huge spoon full of cereal into his mouth.
“A little better, I guess…” I took a seat on the chair next to the island.
“So what are you going to do about Noah?” He asked me.
“I think we should give it a shot, take things slow. Be friends for awhile.”
“It took him forever to confess his feelings… it was driving me crazy.”
“Well, technically he didn’t tell me. You did.” I said, smiling. He smirked at me before eating another spoon full of his cereal.
“I’m going over to Lindsey’s today; her parents want to talk to me…” He said. I laughed as he stood up.
“Wish me luck!” He shouted as he grabbed a light jacket off of the chair and walked out the door. Great, now I have nothing to do. I noticed Noah’s laptop sitting on the couch in the living room as I made my way over to the TV. I sat down and picked it up, setting it on my lap.
He was still logged onto Facebook. Why did he even leave it here? I almost hit the exit button until I realized he was looking at his sent messages to Colin… I couldn’t help but read them. I know it was bad… but I couldn’t just leave it there and walk away. I had to know.
To: Colin
Yea, she’s hanging out with some guy and they are doing a report.
From: Colin
Whatever, she told me she was hanging out with Jolene today.
To: Colin:
No, she’s with Brandon… I’m watching her right now!
From: Colin
You are such a liar Noah; you’re just trying to get between me and Emma for your own selfish reasons. How can I trust you? I understand that your cousin passed away awhile ago and that you two were close, you liked all the attention you got when you tried to commit suicide didn’t you? And now that you don’t have all that attention anymore you’re trying to ruin something that can be good for me. Grow up and stop being so conceded.
To: Colin
Are you kidding me? You’re so stupid! Why would I try and get between you two? I hate you; I regret ever being friends with you! I told you about my cousin so you would understand what I was going through when you found me that night. What I tried to do was a mistake, yea, I understand, but to use something that serious against me? Who do you think you are? Emma is never going to want you back, when will you see that? Besides, she deserves someone way better than you. You’re pathetic for throwing me that ‘now that you’re not suicidal anymore you want the attention back’ crap. You would never be able to understand what I have been through. I never want to talk to you again… I hope you live a life of misery. Better yet, everyone would be happy if you disappeared.
Message sent: Monday, 12:45am.
My heart was pounding, Noah tried killing himself? I felt my eyes start to water and my heart started to ache. Why would Colin say something like that to him? I was furious at both of them! My head was starting to get dizzy again but I couldn’t help reading the whole conversation more than once. Every word sunk into my mind not to be forgotten.
No one told me about Noah’s cousin. Noah never told me the truth! Sure he told me parts of their fight, but he never once told me anything about him being suicidal. Did Jayden know?
My mind was going into overdrive as I heard the house phone ring. I walked into the kitchen with shaky legs and answered the phone, but not saying anything. I was at a loss for words to even form in my mouth.
“Hello?” I heard Noah say in the line.
“Jayden knock it off, can you bring me my computer? I think it’s still in your room somewhere.” He waited for a reply but he wasn’t going to get one. As I sat listening to his voice I couldn’t help but wonder if that’s why he saved me that day when I walked out of the hospital.
I was too confused at the moment and I could feel a migraine form in the back of my head. I hung up the phone and walked to my room shutting the door behind me. I was still in a daze from the messages.
Now I understand why Noah doesn’t want to read the new message. That’s all he could hold onto. It made him feel like he was still here, every time he looked at his new message it would say new… because it wasn’t opened.
I lay down on my bed and tried to catch my breath. What was wrong with the world? I left the computer in the kitchen probably open. I couldn’t remember by now. I felt like crying. I wanted to try a relationship with Noah but how can I now that I know all this new information? How would I act normal around him now?
I heard a car door shut outside of the house. Jayden was home early… I guess the talk with Lindsey’s parents didn’t go to well.
“Jayden?” I heard the voice. My heart stopped and my eyes grew wide. What was he doing here? I heard him sigh and walk down the hall.
“Jayden, why did you move my computer, did you read my mes-” I heard him say once he was making his way into my brother’s room. He cut himself off when he opened the door noticing Jayden wasn’t in there. I stayed silent.
The soft knock on my door made my heart start to hammer against my chest. Maybe if I pretend like I’m still sleeping…
“Emma?” I heard him say as he opened the door. I closed my eyes shut and tried to calm my breathing to a slow rate. I felt his hand on my forehead for a minute before I heard someone else walk into my room.
“Noah? What are you doing here?” Jayden’s voice met my ears and I felt myself relax almost instantly.
“Hey, I called but your house phone must not be working… I came to get my computer. Thanks for leaving it on the counter for me.” They were whispering, so I must be doing a good job at sleeping.
“What are you talking about? Last I saw it; it was on the coffee table by the couch.” The room grew silent and I mentally screamed.
“Where were you then?” Noah asked, confused.
“Lindsey’s house, her parents wanted to talk to me… let’s go out here so we don’t wake Emma up.” Jayden offered. I thanked him in my head, even though he couldn’t hear me. I felt someone watching me. I heard my door close and I let out a breath of relief. That was close. I have no idea what to do. I closed my eyes and tried not to think about anything.
“Emma!” I heard someone yell from down stairs. I opened my eyes and looked at the time. It was 10PM. I got out of bed and started to walk to the living room. Once I reached it I regretted coming out. Noah was still here, they were watching a movie.
“Are you feeling better?” Jayden asked me. I shook my head and avoided Noah’s looks. I looked down at the floor.
“Do you want to join us?” Noah asked. I looked down at the side table at the phone that was lying on it. I didn’t know what else to do so I picked it up and pretended like I was talking to it.
“Hello? Oh yes, alright… be here in ten?” I was talking way too fast for it to be even remotely believable.
“Emma, what are you doing?” My brother asked me, looking at me crazy.
“Uhh, Toby wants to hang out. I got to go.” I said, as I ran down the hall and back into my room. I almost slammed the door shut behind me. It was a good thing I never put down the phone. I quickly called Toby.
“Hel-”
“Please tell me you are not busy and that you can pick me up within ten minutes, I need to tell you something and you just HAVE TO COME!” I blabbed out. He was silent for what seemed like an eternity.
“Yea, I’m on my way.” He said before he hung up. I breathed a sigh of relief. Maybe they would just think that they didn’t hear the phone ring… I can’t believe all that has been happening lately.
A few minutes after I put on some normal clothes I heard someone knock on the door. I ran down the stairs to see Toby waiting for me.
“Bye Jayden!” I shouted as I closed the door behind us.
“So what’s going on?” He asked. I glared at him.
“Shh, not yet.” Once we got into his car he pulled out of the drive way.
“Where too?” He asked, looking over at me.
“Anywhere but here…” We were silent for a few minutes until I spoke again.
“Jayden blurted out that Noah liked me last night, and then I got really sick and threw up. I’m not going to lie I still don’t feel good but I need to get out of the house.”
“That’s amazing Emma, why are you freaking out?” We were almost to his house already.
“It was at first, until I found his computer… he was logged onto Facebook and his messages to Colin were open…” I looked out the window which was a bad idea. It made me feel dizzy.
“Did you read them?”
“Yea, they were bad. I found something out that I don’t know how to handle.” He sighed.
“Figure it out; he is going to know your avoiding him sooner or later…” Way to point out the obvious Toby.
“I would tell you, but I honestly don’t think anyone should know.” He shook his head in understanding. Why would he try to do something like that? Why wouldn’t he tell me? I know we weren’t close or anything but I would have thought Colin would have told me that… he told me everything. As of right now, I have no clue what I will be doing