~ It starts with an 'I' and ends with a 'you' ~
Chapter Twelve: Without
I rolled over in bed, the sheets empty and my comforter far too cold. It was nearly seven in the morning, and I'd caught about twenty minutes of sleep all night. I groaned, smacking my head in a pillow and reaching over for my phone, unlocking it without looking and dialing a number I knew by heart.
"Hello?" Lucas picked up. I sighed.
"How much do you love me?" I asked. My best friend laughed, and I cringed as I felt a migraine coming on.
"I'd say quite a bit," he told me. "What'dya need, sweetie?"
I groaned again. "Would you take my shift today?" I asked. "I didn't sleep at all last night, and I've got the beginnings of a horrific migraine."
Lucas chuckled. "Of course, Symphony," he said. "I'd be glad to."
I smiled a little. "You're the best, loser," I said.
My best friend laughed again as I heard shuffling. "I'm coming down to see you for a minute."
I nodded to myself. "You've got a key."
Just as I said that I heard the sound of my front door unlocking, the line clicking dead shortly after. I rested my head back on my pillow, pulling my cold comforter up around my body as the light streaming into my window seemed far too much for my eyes to handle. Lucas walked into my room moments later, smiling sweetly as he slowly crossed the room to my bed. He sat down, taking my hand.
"You look like shit," he laughed a little, making me roll my eyes. I playfully flipped him off, nuzzling further into my bed.
"I'm aware," I assured him. Lucas squeezed my fingers, watching me.
"Do you think your lack of sleeping has something to do with Max being gone?" he asked, slowly. I shrugged honestly, shaking my head at myself.
"If it does, I need to get it together," I stated. "It's only Wednesday; he doesn't come back until Saturday," I said, feeling myself suddenly longing to feel the brown haired, brown eyed boy beside me. His voice was the last one I'd heard aside from my own last night, having spoken to him for two sweet hours, letting him tell me about how much he'd missed his friends and how much he really wished I was there with him.
Lucas sighed a little, still watching me. "Is he Skyping you tonight?"
I nodded sleepily. "Yeah," I responded. "I'm hoping that if his lack of presence is what's bothering me then a Skype call or a FaceTime or something will help me out."
Lucas ran his thumb across the back of my palm, nodding a little. "Alright," he said, slowly standing up. "You have your peppermint oil and your pills, right?"
I pointed to my beside table as response. "Mhmm," I mumbled. Lucas smiled a little at my tired and almost sick state, slowly crossing the room to my window and closing the dark curtains I had, bathing the room in sweet, soothing blackness. He came back to my side, lightly ruffling my hair.
"I love you, sweetie," he told me, beginning to make his way out the door. "Get some rest."
I nodded tiredly. "I love you too, Lucas," I responded. "Thanks."
He laughed happily. "Anytime, bestie," he told me. "Anytime."
* * * * *
I groaned, rolling over and slapping my hand over my loudly ringing phone. I accepted the call without looking, pressing it to my ear and grunting into the microphone.
"What?" I mumbled, my migraine pulsating and my body begging for more sleep. A perfect chuckle filled my ears, making me smile suddenly.
"Hey, lovely," Max's gentle voice greeted me sweetly. "I didn't mean to wake you."
I looked over a my alarm clock, seeing that it was almost noon. "No," I said. "It's okay," I told him, my voice softening. "I didn't mean to snap at you."
I sensed my boyfriend's smile. "It's perfectly fine, baby," he assured me easily. "How're you feeling?"
I sighed. "Like shit," I answered honestly. "Did Lucas talk to you?"
I could envision Max nodding as he responded. "Yeah," he said. "He said you called him sounding about on the verge of tears this morning asking if he could take your shift."
I sighed again. "That's pretty much how it went," I said. "I couldn't sleep last night, so of course to make things worse I have a migraine too."
Max's voice was apologetic. "Damn..." he said. "I'm sorry, lovely. I wish I was there to comfort you."
I snorted a little. "Me too," I whispered. There was a long, comfortable pause, during which Max's even breaths gave me comfort.
"I miss you..." he murmured. "Like, a lot, Symphony."
I frowned deeply. "I miss you too, Max," I said quietly. "Lucas seems to think my lack of sleep and shit health is connected with the fact that I haven't seen you in a few days."
Max sighed. "Truth be told," he began. "I haven't slept well either," he said. "Not more than a few hours since I got off the plane."
I groaned. "This sucks," I said.
Max laughed a little. "It does," he said. "But it's only until Saturday."
I nodded a little. "God..." I whispered. "I miss you like crazy..." I told him again.
I could sense his frown. "I know, little dove..." Max murmured gently. "I miss you too. The first thing I'm gonna do when you pick me up at the airport is hold you for forever, let you take me home, and then we can go crash out together in my bed."
I smiled to myself. "Sounds like a plan," I said. "I can't wait, Max."
I heard my boyfriend chuckle cutely. "I'm gonna go, okay baby?" he spoke gently. "You sound like you need the sleep, and your migraine isn't gonna go away while your talking to me."
I sighed and nodded. "I suppose," I said. "Video chat tonight, right?"
Max let out a small laugh. "Of course, lovely," he said. "Bye, little dove."
I smiled. "Bye baby."
* * * * *
I laid down across my bed, laughing lightly at Max's smiling face on my laptop screen.
"You're so beautiful..." he sighed longingly, watching me as I pushed my hair from my face. I blushed a little, letting his slow smile and easy eyes sink down to my very soul.
"You're pretty attractive yourself," I stated, biting my lip and watching him scratch his exposed collar. He laughed a little, shaking his head.
"Nothing compared to you, baby," he told me. I giggled, shaking my head.
"You're such a dork," I smiled, letting Storm lay beside me. Max just grinned, pulling his pajama clad legs against his bare chest on his blue chair.
"But I'm your dork," he reminded me softly. I rolled my eyes, playfully, sticking my tongue out at him and causing him to chuckle.
"That you are," I stated. "So how was your day, baby?"
Max smiled, reaching his hands up and stretching, before allowing them to fall behind his head. "Pretty good," he said. "I got to see some of my friends I haven't seen in a while; one of them's actually crashed out on my living room couch."
I laughed a little. "Sounds like you're having fun."
Max nodded, before watching me for a moment. "The only thing that'd make it more perfect is if you were here with me."
I sighed quietly, nodding a little. "I know," I whispered. He slowly leaned forward, grabbing his laptop and turning it, showing me the rest of his room.
"You see that bed?" he said, pointing the camera at his king-sized mattress. "You know what's wrong with it?" he asked. I laughed, deciding to play along.
"What's wrong with it?" I said. Max turned his laptop back around to face him, smiling a little.
"You're not in it," he told me. I couldn't help the little grin that spread across my face at his words watching him laugh lightly to himself.
"That was so corny," I giggled, burying my slowly blushing face in my arm. "But really sweet..." I added, watching Max situate again, pulling his knees back to his chest and resting his cheek there, staring at me softly.
"Corny but true," he assured. I chuckled a little, both of us slipping into this easy, comfortable silence for a few moments, just watching each other longingly, both of us wishing to feel the other beside ourselves.
"Hey Max, where's-" a sudden voice made Max look to his left past his laptop. His eyes stayed trained there for a moment as the voice paused.
"Where's what, Nick?" Max spoke. It was quiet for a moment, before the voice spoke again.
"What're you doing?" he asked, ignoring Max's question. Max laughed a little, his eyes flickering back to me for a moment, before training again on whoever, I'm assuming Nick, was in front of him.
"Skyping," Max stated simply. Footsteps told me Nick was coming closer, along with the tilt of Max's head so he could see his friend better.
"Who?" Nick asked. Max nodded at the screen in response, and suddenly someone was sitting in Max's lap, looking at the laptop screen, a boy with dark hair and pretty eyes. The boy I assumed to be Nick grinned, waving as Max tried to push him off of him.
"Hi," the boy greeted. I giggled, waving back.
"Hi there," I said, watching as Max finally pushed Nick off of his lap. I slowly sat up on my bed, watching my boyfriend roll his eyes at his best friend. Nick shifted onto the arm of the chair, watching as Max rolled his eyes.
"Nick," he started. "This is Symphony," he said, gesturing to his laptop screen. "Simmy, this is Nick."
I waved again. "Hi, Nick," I smiled, recognizing the name from various stories and things Max had told me. Nick's smile became a smirk, looking down at his best friend.
"Is this your little dove?" Nick asked Max, watching his best friend turn bright red as he bit his lip. He nodded his gaze flickering over to me again, causing me to let out a tiny smile.
"How does he know about that?" I asked, amused. Max ran his hand through his hair, looking over at me again.
"That's your name in my phone," he told me. "'My Little Dove'."
I grinned, watching Max swat at Nick as he made fake gagging noises. I chuckled lightly, feeling my heart swell with pride and happiness while Max smiled at his friend.
"It's nice to finally meet Max's little dove," Nick told me, laughing a little. "Since you're all I've heard him talk about for the last four months."
I grinned a little more, watching my boyfriend flush with embarrassment. "Careful Max," I giggled. "Keep blushing like that and you might permanently tint that color."
Max rolled his eyes at my teasing remark, cutely sticking his tongue out at me and smiling. He looked back up at Nick, leaning against the opposite arm his friend sat on and tucking his legs around himself.
"What were you looking for, Nick?" he asked again. Nick frowned a little, shrugging.
"Can't remember," he laughed a little. Max rolled his eyes again, looking to me and sighing again, his body language yearning to be near me.
"I think he came in here just to annoy the piss out of me," Max whispered-yelled at me. Nick laughed and punched Max's arm, making Max laugh again. Nick suddenly clapped Max on the shoulder a second later though, sitting up straighter and rubbing his eyes.
"I'm going back to bed," he told Max. He looked at me and smiled waving sleepily. "It was nice meeting you, Simmy."
I waved. "You too, Nick."
Max's best friend slowly stood, making his way towards the door, off screen. "Night, man," Max called, before looking at me again.
"I-" Max cut himself off, shaking his head. "Hey," he said instead. "You seem sleepy."
I yawned, shrugging. "I'd rather stay up and talk to you, though."
Max smiled a little, propping his elbow up on the arm of his chair, resting his face in his hand. "I would too, baby," he whispered. "But it's not good for you; especially after not sleeping much in the past twenty-four hours."
I sighed. "Yeah," I agreed. Max chuckled.
"I usually am," he teased me, winking cutely. I laughed a little.
"Skype again tomorrow, little dove?" he asked sweetly. I nodded, smiling gently.
"Of course, baby," I whispered. "I'll send you a text when I get up."
Max grinned. "Can't wait, lovely," he murmured. "Goodnight, my sweet Symphony."
I smiled. "Goodnight, Max."
* * * * *
I sighed, looking at the clock and anxiously biting my lip. Lucas laughed a little as he bumped my hip, kissing the top of my head.
"Chewing your lip off won't make the time pass any faster, sweetie," he told me gently. "Only ten more minutes, then you can go home and sleep, and then when you wake up, Max'll be that much closer to coming home."
I chuckled, nodding as Lucas left my side to ring up the last couple in the shop. "Thank god it's Friday," I mumbled quietly, letting myself sink into a stool behind the counter. The couple called goodbye to Lucas and I, slowly stepping out of the shop.
"Alright sweetie," Lucas said, locking the door as I locked the register. I grinned, grabbing my coat and following my best friend out the back the door. "How come you haven't been driving Max's car?" Lucas asked me, opening the door of his truck for me.
I'd driven Max to the airport in his car, then driven it back to my place so I could pick him up when he got back. I shrugged. "I'm too afraid I'd wreck it," I laughed. "It's such a nice SUV."
Lucas laughed. "He wouldn't jab given you the keys if he didn't trust you with it."
I smiled. "I know," I said. "He may trust me, I just don't trust myself."
We laughed lightly.
* * * * *
'I just landed, heading your way, lovely. See you soon.'
That was the text I'd gotten a ten minutes ago from Max.
I stood at his gate, bouncing slightly as I watched for him. I wanted to see him so bad, and knowing I was literally moments away from letting him wrap me up in his arms made my heart beat quicken. I longed for his smile, for his touch and his smile, for his scent and warm embrace around my body.
I rocked on my heels, looking around as I noticed people starting to come from the gate Max was coming out of. I grinned stupidly as I saw those sweet brown curls and dark chocolate eyes, watching him pack his backpack over his shoulder, looking down at his feet. I stood there, unable to move as I watched his eyes slowly lift from the floor, the biggest, dorkiest, most adorable grin spread across his features as he met my stare, slowly coming to a stop as I finally found the ability to move again. I was suddenly running to him as he dropped his bag by his feet, watching me happily.
I dove into his arms with a light giggle, jumping and wrapping my legs around his waist and my arms tightly around his neck as he laughed, turning easily with my momentum. One of his hands found my back as the other held my thigh, both of us grinning as I buried my face deep in his shoulder. His scent assaulted my senses and I shivered, realizing at that exact moment how much I had really missed my boyfriend.
"My god..." he murmured against my hair, squeezing me closer. "I've missed you so much, Symphony..."
I felt tears, literal tears, begin to threaten to spill at the corners of my eyes. "I missed you too, Max," I told him. He smiled and pulled my head away from his shoulder, pressing his forehead against mine and closing his eyes. I let mine slip closed, feeling his breath on my face.
"Would you be embarrassed if I just kissed you in the middle of the airport?" Max whispered, inching closer. My breath caught as I shook my head, waiting in anticipation as he slowly closed the distance between my lips and his.
The kiss was long and slow, and everything I needed. His warm lips moved gently across mine, his tongue tentatively running along my bottom lip, asking hesitantly for entrance. I granted of course, letting him deepen it and bring me closer as his tongue explored new territory, fighting his hand on my thigh and around my waist.
Max pulled away, the kiss leaving us both breathless. He held me tightly for a long minute or so, before he let me slip slowly from his grip, my feet touching the ground. "C'mon, little dove..." he whispered. "Let's go," he said.
I smiled and nodded, letting him lace our fingers together and leaving a small kiss on cheek. He grabbed his backpack and we began walking towards the carousel to pick up his suitcase.
"You want me to drive?" I asked, looking up into Max's sleepy brown eyes. He nodded tiredly, cutely rubbing his eyes as he let me guide him out to his car. He loaded his bags quickly, letting me close the trunk after him. I was about to go get into the drivers seat, but Max stopped me, taking my waist and bringing my body against his in a warm hug. He didn't say a word, and I stayed silent, reveling in the feeling of his arms around me and his lips leaving soft kisses on my head while his slightly calloused fingers ran through my long red hair. He didn't need to say anything so long as he kept holding me like that, my body understanding perfectly and holding him back just as tightly as he held me.
"Let's get you home, sleepy boy..." I said, whispering against his chest. He nodded, squeezing my body lightly before allowing me to move. We parted and climbed into the right sides of his car, letting Max take my hand as soon as we were on the road. The drive was filled with a soothing silence, just the feeling of each other close enough to satisfy this longing that'd been occurring since we parted.
Once we got to his apartment, I gave Max his keys so he could let us into his place, watching him step inside and just drop everything, taking my hand and taking me back to his bedroom. He sat me down on his bed, before dropping his jeans and shedding his t-shirt, leaving him in just a pair of plaid boxers. I bit my lip, watching him scratch his abdomen.
"I wasn't kidding when I said when I got home all I wanted to do was pass out in bed with you wrapped up in my arms," he told me, coming in front of me and resting his hand on my cheek. "I'm gonna grab you a pair of sweats, okay?"
I slowly nodded, watching Max walk back to his closet, digging around for sweatpants small enough to fit me, and when he found a pair, I stepped behind his bathroom door and welcomed the soft fabric onto my hips, looking over at Max as he laid down on his back, looking over at me and lightly patting his chest. I smiled and slowly slid into Max's bed, letting him wrap me against his mostly bare body and hovering just above my face.
Max's eyes stared into mine for longest time, his fingers absently tracing through my hair while I ran my thumb against his neck. He looked as if something was on his mind, like there was a hesitant battle going on in his head and he was waiting for the dust to settle. His gaze suddenly became sincere and genuine, his hand cupping my face.
"Symphony?" Max spoke, almost hesitantly. He bit his lip, seeming nervous for some reason.
"Yes, baby?" I responded, smiling sweetly. Max visibly relaxed a little at what I'd called him, taking a long, slow deep breath and closing his eyes. When he opened them again, he seemed warm, soft and open, all guards down as he watched me.
"Being away from you these past few days has made me realize something..." he told me. "It's finally happened, Simmy. I've finally fallen," Max slowly paused, meeting my gaze and swallowing. "I don't know how you'll take this, but I can't hold it in anymore," he whispered, his voice shaking as he bit his lip.
"I love you..."
I stayed still for a long few moments of painful stiffness, and I watched as a pang of hurt flashed through Max's eyes as he thought I wasn't responding on purpose. It took me a second to finally make myself function correctly again, launching myself into his arms for the second time today. He welcomed me, rolling back onto the bed with my force and letting out a sigh of relief.
"I love you," he said again, stronger, more confident this time. I felt my body begin to tremble as he held me tighter, pressing my face into his neck. "And it's okay if you can't tell me you return those feelings right now," he whispered against my hair. "I don't expect you to; I'm willing to wait until you can look at me and tell me without any doubt in your heart that you love me too. I know that three months isn't very long, but it's been plenty of time for me to fall so madly in love with you, like it was back when our grandparents fell in love in the same amount of time. I don't want you to tell me because you feel obligated, I want you to tell me because it's honest and true, and I don't want to pressure you into saying it. I want you to feel it, little dove."
I nodded, hugging him tightly. "Soon," I promised against his skin. Max nodded and smiled, pulling me back a little to meet his gaze.
"That's perfectly acceptable, baby," he assured me, cupping my face and kissing my forehead. "I just had to get it off my chest and tell you how I felt."
I nodded a little, my arms tightening around his waist. Max slowly pressed his lips to mine for a moment, before pulling back, his forehead resting to mine and he smiled a little.
"I love you," he told me again. "Let's lay down... I'm exhausted, and I don't think you've slept real well since I've been gone."
I nodded, letting him guide me down against his pillows. He held me sweetly against his chest, letting me bury my face in his warm shoulder as Max slid his arms around my waist. He covered us in his warm comforter, nestling his body close to mine and leaving soft kisses on my cheek, nose, and forehead.
"Goodnight, lovely," he murmured. I smiled, letting his warm presence encase me protectively.
"Night, Max."
__________________________________________________
Hey guys!
ONE! :-)
I'm tired XD lol
TWO! :3
Did you guys like it?
THREE! :D
It's shorter and choppier than usual, but I had to work around a little bit of writers block, so that tends to happens
FOUR! :P
I'm gonna go do Math XL now
Enjoy, darlings!
Bye!
- Casey