Cristiano stared at the ceiling. He couldn't sleep. He hadn't slept much the night before either as he had being so angry at Molly. But tonight. Tonight every time he closed his eyes he saw her at the bottom of the pool.
"It's like she's just given up" his mother had said. Had he gone too far? He had being angry with her. So angry that he let his mouth get carried away. But so had she. Hadn't she? Had he said too much? He hadn't meant the words. She said she hated him. Even after the incident with Dr. Frenz and even after she gave birth to Junior, she had never said anything like that to him. She wasn't talking to anyone. Was she really miserable? He thought of how she looked the night in the hotel in Lisbon. She had taken so long to answer the door he remembered.
"Just given up" his mother's words echoed around his mind. Cristiano looked at the clock on the bedside table. 5 in the morning. He needed to get some sleep he thought closing his eyes and readjusted the covers.
"Damn it" he muttered and flung back the covers. He left the bed quietly so as not to wake Irina who was sleeping soundly next to him. Irina hadn't understood why Molly was even still in the house after everything that had happened. And she hadn't heard all the horrible stuff they had said. That he had said.
He grabbed a pair of sweatpants and headed for the door. This needed sorting. He closed the door after him, walked two doors down and paused at the closed door. Should he just leave her? She'll talk to him eventually. They'd be bickering in no time. Won't they he thought. "Damn" he muttered shaking his head as he opened the door slowly.
He paused to look at her. He thought about what he had said to her. How he had grabbed her. When she had snapped that he won't be the first guy to leave bruises on her body, he had felt sick. The thought of Tony or Dr. Frenz near her. Did she think he was like them?
Fuck he thought. He walked towards the bed. Typical he couldn't sleep a wink but she appeared to being having no trouble he thought as he saw her sleeping face laying on a pillow. He noticed that she looked like she had being crying. Her fingers around Junior's baby monitor which laid on the pillow. He took a seat on the edge of the bed. Had he done this to her? Was he the reason she looked so...so lost he thought. He stroked her cheek with his finger.
"Molly" he whispered. Please don't scream he prayed. "Molly" he whispered again and she started to shift in the bed. "Mols" he said a lit louder and her eyes opened suddenly. "What" she said sitting up in the bed in a panic. "Sssh it's just me.It's ok. It's just me" he reassured her as his finger touch her lips. She looked at him in a daze. Both in anger and shock.
"Junior" she muttered. "He's fine. Everyone is fine "Come with me" he said. "Please?" he asked standing holding a hand out to her. She pulled back the covers but didn't take his hand a she got out of the bed. He walked to the door. She picked up a sweatshirt and followed him. Ok now he was worried. No scream. No yelling. No talking. And she's doing what he asked.
What the hell is wrong with her he thought as he walked down the stairs.
He slightly looked over his shoulder to make sure that she was following him. And thankfully she was. She had covered her tank top with the sweatshirt and held Junior's monitor in her crossed arms. Why isn't she saying anything? Why isn't she bickering with him? This Molly always scared him. At least when she was arguing with him he knew she...she cared?
They walked to the gym and he shut the door behind them. He rested his head against the closed door as she stood in the middle of the floor. "I'm tired" he said. "Then go to bed" she replied and he let out a sigh of relief. "I mean tired of this. Of us fighting" he said turning to face her.
"Molly look at me" he said as he stared at her back but she didn't move. He walked to stand in front of her and it was the first time he noticed that she was shaking. "Molly" he whispered placing his hands on her arms. Her eyes wouldn't meet his.
"Molly" he whispered bringing his hand near her cheek. Molly flinched and jumped back from him. He stared at her in shock. She was afraid of him. She couldn't be. "Mols. Mols I...." he stuttered not able to form any words. She turned to leave and he rushed to stand in front of the door blocking her exit.
"Molly I would never hurt you" he whispered as she held her arms around her body. "Molly please you have to believe me. I could never hurt you. Shit Molly please don't be frightened of me" he begged. She stood in front of him. Her whole body shaking. Her eyes red from crying. She looked so lost. So unhappy and he had an awful sick feeling in his stomach.
"Please Molly can you say something? Scream at me. Hit me. Just do something cos you are really worrying me right now" he said. "Well God forbid you are worried. We can't have that now can we?" she snapped. "Molly I.." he stuttered. "Just move Ronaldo" she said.
"I'm sorry" he said resting the back of his head against the door. He saw her roll her eyes before she turned her back to him. "Oh here we go. The "I'm sorry" speech from Ronaldo. Jezz do you ever get sick of saying it? Cos I know for certain that I'm well and truly sick of hearing it" she said.
"I guess I do say that a lot" he mumbled. "A lot. I swear you have said sorry for something more times than I've breastfed Junior. And in case you aren't aware that's a lot of times" she snapped still with her back to him. "I know it's a lot. Junior has always liked your breasts" he half smiled. She turned to face him. Exactly what he had hoped she would do. Her face was full of anger though.
"Molly I just wanted you to look at me" he said suddenly moving towards her. "You say sorry and you have no idea why you are even saying it" she said. "Yes I do" he replied. "Really. Cos I don't" she said running a hand through her hair. "What do you mean?" he asked. "It doesn't matter" she said. "Yes it does. Tell me. Please?" he asked.
"You are only saying sorry cos you think you have to. Cos your mother is making you. Because you just want all your agro to go away. So fine. You've said sorry and you're agro will go away. Just what you want" she said.
He stared at her confused. He had no idea what any of that meant. In fact he thought she hadn't a clue either. But he didn't like it.
"What do you mean go away?" he asked. "It doesn't matter. Just go back to bed" she said attempting to pass him. He grabbed her wrist and pulled her close to him. "You are not going anywhere" he said sternly. And she looked at her wrist.
"I didn't mean to hurt you the other day" he whispered noticing a faded bruise on her wrist. "I know" she whispered at his eyes flicked from her wrist to her face. "Really?" he asked. "Yes" she replied. "But I did. Didn't I?" he asked letting her wrist go. "It's barely a bruise" she said. "I wasn't just talking about the bruise" he said.
"I've really messed up" he said turning away from her. "How did this happen? How did I let you become frightened of me?" he said. "I'm not frightened of you" she said. "Then why the hell are you flinching and jumping when I'm near you" he yelled. "Cos you're yelling at me for one" she replied.
"Sorry" he muttered and she rolled her eyes. "Jezz I really do say that a lot" he said. "Well you've said it now. So just go back to bed" she said walking to the door. She had opened the door slightly when his hand shoved it closed.
She could feel him standing behind her. "Look at me" he whispered and she shook her head. "Molly look at me please?" he asked and she sighed and turned to face him.
"I know" he whispered. And she looked at him confused. "I know why I am sorry" he whispered.