Words can't actually convey just how excited I am to be going to my first rodeo. The best comparison I can give is that I'm just like an over exuberant child, who is literally bouncing off the walls.
I am so damn high; Dade is having to peel me down from the cabin ceiling. I mean, shit! I'm going to a real rodeo with my very own, sexy as hell, cowboy. It is seriously a squeal-worthy moment. In fact, I've been having many squeal- worthy moments lately. Ever since Dade and I have been spending our nights together. Waking up in each other's arms after an evening of doing many 'other things,' really has me walking around with an excited spring in my step. If I could bottle that shit, I really could make my fortune.
Since our first night together, Dade has never really gone. We are trying to squeeze in as much as humanly possible with what little time we have left. Being with him makes me so incredibly happy. I try to push away any thoughts of leaving Prairie Point, as far away as possible. I have buried leaving Dade so very deep; I hope I never fucking find it. I suppose we will have to have that conversation at some point, but for now, I don't want to taint our precious time together.
Dade tugs on my top, pulling me towards him. "I got something for you." He stupidly grins, obviously hiding something behind his back.
"What is it?" I ask, trying to peep behind his back, but he playfully keeps moving out of the way.
"Close your eyes," Dade tries to sound serious. I giggle, closing my eyes really tight. "Now hold your hands out," he tells me. I hold my palms out flat, still giggling like a fool, when I feel something being placed on them. When I open my eyes, I see a beautiful white Stetson with a thin black band around it. I enviously stroke its felt brim. I look at Dade, who lifts it from my hands, carefully placing it on my head. He then brings his lips to mine, kissing me beneath my beautiful new gift.
Wrapping his arms around my waist, he says, "I can't have my girl going to a rodeo without a hat, now can I?" he smirks.
I bring my hands up around the back of his neck. "I love it! Thank you so much," I say, placing a soft thankful kiss upon his full and luscious lips.
"My pleasure." His boyish grin is so heartwarming. I look at myself in the mirror, adjusting the position of the Stetson on my head. I can see Dade watching me, so I strike a silly pose.
"How do I look?" I ask with one hand on my hip and a provocative little pout.
Dade looks at me with deep affection. "Beautiful," he says proudly.
"Why thank you, Mr. Hudson." I laugh with a playful curtsey.
Dade tugs on the pocket of my jeans, bringing me quickly against him. He brushes his mouth lightly over mine, a teasing caress of his lips. "Let's go, I can't wait to show you off."
Arm in arm we leave the cabin, walking and laughing towards his pickup. I proudly glance sideways at him as a completeness washes over me. Happiness is something I thought I would never find, but here I am . . . happy.
***
"Oh, my God! That has to be the wildest day of my life." I excitedly grab hold of Dade's arm as we leave the arena. He smiles at my over enthusiastic chatter while we walk.
His mouth is twitching with amusement. "I can see you had a good time," he says calmly.
"Oh, it's such a buzz, isn't it?" I say with a bouncy, happy stride.
"What did you like most?" Dade asks.
I think for a moment wearing only a big ecstatic smile. "I think my favourite was the bareback riding or the saddle bronc, although the barrel racing was fun, too." I pause for a second, still holding onto him. I excitedly cuddle against his arm really tight, shrugging my shoulders hard. "Oh, I just loved it all!" I continue to ramble on like an excited fool.
Dade laughs, obviously pleased that I've enjoyed myself. "I knew you would. You seem to really love our ways, Georgie," he says, looking down at me with an unyielding gaze. I think he's about to say something else, but thinks better of it. Whatever is on his mind, he dismisses it right away.
I take hold of his hand, our fingers entwining around one another's. "I can honestly say, I love everything about being here," I say with an open heart. Dade looks lost for a moment. When his amber eyes meet mine, he only gives me a little smile. I can tell he's thinking about something, but he's not telling me what. I playfully pull on the lapel of his shirt, deciding to try and lighten his sullen mood. "Besides, I'm getting the best oral sex . . . ever! What's not to like?" I grin up at him, girlishly batting my lashes.
A smile is definitely pulling at the corners of his downturned mouth. Scratching his temple with an amused shake of the head, he squeezes my hand. "Come on, let's go home," he says softly.
The word home stays with me. Is that what he thinks, that I'm already home? Is he even aware that he's just called his home, my home? I try not to overthink it. After such a wonderful day, I don't want to ruin it with my incessant overthinking of things. I swear; it's a bloody curse!
***
For some strange reason, for the whole duration of the journey back to the ranch, Dade remains painfully quiet. He seems preoccupied and distant. When we reach the cabin, I begin to feel agitated and nervous. I don't usually doubt whether Dade is staying with me . . . he just does. However, tonight is different. I wonder whether he wants to be with me at all. "Are you coming in?" I almost back out of asking him; too afraid of what his answer might be.
His expression turns deadly serious. "Do you want me to?" he asks.
I weakly smile. "Of course I do. That's only if you want to, of course. If you're wanting to sleep in your own bed tonight, I will completely understand." I try to sound casual about it. But the truth of the matter is, if he chooses not to stay, I will probably cry in the bath for hours. I'll drink a stupid amount of wine and cry some more with pathetic sad songs for company. Shit, I'm such a woman!
Dade tilts his head. "Can I stay again?" he asks quietly.
With relief, my shoulders drop. "I would love you to be with me tonight." I open the door, walking slowly inside. Dade solemnly follows behind me. I lovingly put my Stetson down on the bedside table. I turn around, looking at his exquisite but burdened face. I move closer to him, running my finger down his clothed chest. "This is becoming a habit, you know?" I say with a wantonness coating my words. I will try to seduce this solemn mood from him, if it's the last thing I do. I really don't like this side of him; it's cold and aloof. Just as my mind is about to spiral into a blind panic about what cold and aloof could mean in a relationship, Dade minimises the space between us.
"You're a tough habit to break," he says slowly, his fingers caressing my arms.
I feel like I can actually start breathing now. If he didn't want me anymore, he wouldn't be doing this . . . would he?
My self-doubt continues to silently persecute me. Warning me to enjoy the feeling of Dade touching me, because soon . . . it will be gone.
I throw my arms around him, overcome with fear. "Are we okay?" I blurt out. Dade's arms sweep around me without faltering. I fight to hold back my tears. I've tried to ignore his odd behaviour, but now I need to know why it's there at all.
Dade lifts my head with his cradling hands. "Hey, where's all this coming from?" he asks with emotional eyes.
I look down, shaking away the fear with a slow sway of my head. "Since we left the rodeo, you've been acting weird. Something is wrong, and I want to know what." I raise my cracking voice. He needs to understand that I need to understand.
He lets out a long drawn out breath, pulling me into him. "I'm sorry, Georgie. I don't mean to hurt you. I guess the enormity of our situation hit me hard today. I love being with you. Seeing how happy you were today, it just hit me in the chest like a fucking freight train. I know you've been avoiding talking about leaving, but it's closer than you think. I really think we need to talk about this," he speaks with such sincerity, while tenderly brushing one of my springy tendrils back off my face.
I slump against him, completely drained and emotionally spent. I sensed this day was coming. I knew we were going to have to address our situation, but today has been so wonderful, I only want to talk about that. I want to remember every single detail about today. How Dade never left my side and introduced me to everyone he knew. How he bought two cokes, but preferred drinking from mine because he thought it tasted better. All the sweet and sentimental things that I want to cherish. So any talking about me leaving can be done soon . . . just not now.
I look into his troubled eyes, wishing I could see them cleared of the worry they hold. I run my hand along the contours of his sculpted face, soaking in his masculinity.
"I know we have to talk about things, but today has been so great, can we leave it until tomorrow . . . please?" I ask in a hushed voice.
Dade closes his eyes, resting his face where my hand sits. His chest heaves with a long drawn out accepting breath. Opening his eyes, they seem appeased . . . for just a little while. "Okay," he whispers, kissing my forehead and cuddling me tight.
I embrace him so hard, I fear I may crack a rib. "Thank you," I say, feeling somewhat reprieved.
"We'll talk tomorrow, then?" he asks softly. I don't say anything. I reply by an agreeing nod of my head against his chest. Dade pulls back, holding my shoulders, looking at me with a lighter smile. "I have something special planned for our last night together," he tells me, with an excited gleam in his eye.
I don't think anything can beat today, but now I'm very much intrigued to know what he has up his sexy cowboy sleeve. "What is it?" I excitedly ask.
Dade shakes his head, his eyes crinkling upwards with his big smile. "It's a surprise." He kisses my mouth, trying to silence me; a sweet and long kiss by his sensuous velvety lips.
When the kiss is broken, I playfully sway in his arms. Seductively running my fingers around the collar of his shirt, batting my long lashes at him. "Can't you tell me just a teensy, weensy, little bit?" I ask with squinted eyes and a childlike pout and voice.
Dade holds his chin high, determined and stubborn. "You're getting nothing out of me. No matter how hard you bat those beautiful lashes at me."
With his reply, I push myself up more against his receptive body. "Nothing?" I ask with a mischievous brow.
"No!" His crooked grin makes him look so darn adorable.
"Will this make you talk?" I plant a featherlight kiss on his shapely mouth, sexily nipping it as I gently pull back.
The heat in Dade's eyes brands my soul. His scorching spheres harmlessly scald my skin as deep desire fills them. His grip on my hips lustily tightens. I think my seductress act is really working on him. It won't be long before he's spilling the beans about his plans for tomorrow.
Dade straightens his back with a distant, unfocused smile. "Nice try, but . . . no!" he says in a stern, unhurried voice. Damn! He's not cracking!
I increase the flirty, suggestive body language. "I think I'm going to have to work on you some more." I tease him with a devilish wink.
Dade sweeps me up in his arms, carrying me over to the bed. He carefully puts me down, straddling my hips. "I think I'm going to like you trying," he says deeply, trailing kisses on my submissive neck.
In a blinding blissful state, I whisper breathlessly. "We're not crossing the line are we?" I ask, half hoping that we might be.
Dade's mouth curves against my skin, breaking into a smile. "Nope . . . we're just touching our toes on it," he says in a slow, controlled manner. I don't overthink his words. I'm too caught up in the moment, relishing what his mouth is doing to me. Tonight, I wouldn't even care if we did cross that stupid line. All common sense seems to have left my fuelled up body. The more I tell myself we shouldn't cross it, the more I want to, whatever the emotional cost may be.