Damon P.O.V
I didn't know what was so urgent for Jeremy wanting to talk to me but his message seemed really urgent. I felt that Elena and Siena could deal with Stefan he seem stable enough. I wanted to talk to Siena about her birthday so I asked her to come with me, when I brought up the whole birthday party she really didn't seem up for it. Which kind of surprised me I knew Siena liked to party but when she explained to me that she was worried about the fact of her turning 21. It was like a bad omen to her she didn't want to celebrate and I couldn't have her do that.
Siena birthday meant something me not the fact that she was going to be 21 but the fact the day she was born your lives were entwined, every single thing I did over the 19 years all came to the point where I met her. My bella who may not wanted to celebrate the fact she 'a year older' but I wanna to celebrate the fact that I found her. So the day of her being born is a pretty amazing day for me.
So she finally agree to the fact of having an party and I'm going to make sure that it was going to be the best party this town will ever see. Well look like my Bella was born the eve of Halloween so a costume party seem fitting. Between me, Stefan, Jeremy, Caroline and possibly Elena I'm sure we could turn the boarding house into something scary. I mean we are freaking vampires it should be easy well apart from Jer but he seen enough.
I left Siena and made my way back to the boarding house I didn't know what could be so urgent for Jeremy to want to talk to me about, but it seem like I've taken up the big brother role with him too. God who would of thought after how much he annoyed me and the time I killed him I'm actually concerned about him. Maybe I need to tough up a bit I'm getting a little soft in my old age. I arrived at the boarding and I walked in Jeremy was standing near the fire gazing into it deep in thought. What the hell had happened he looked like his puppy had just gotten run over.
"You said it was urgent so what's up?" Jeremy turned to me and boy he didn't look too good.
"Damon I can't do it anymore I can't keep lying to people" What the hell was Jeremy trying to say?
"What are you talking about Jeremy" I tried to keep voice calm because I could be taking all of this the wrong way.
"About Bonnie Damon, they need to know she dead" A few things ran through my mind right then but the one that stayed there was Siena. She wouldn't be able to handle the fact that everyone would know she killed her.
"Damn it, Jeremy! You realize what you want to do?!" I shouted at him and I started walking away from him "Why would you say that?!" Bonnie and I all had agreement we didn't want any of them to know what Siena did, if this comes out really don't know what it going to do to her.
"I'm sorry. People need to know" Jeremy called out I took in a deep breath he was right people needed to know but I'm not sure how any of them going to take to it including Elena. Who don't deal with emotion too well. I started walking towards Jeremy and it probably looked like he's going to punch him, but I gave him a hug. I couldn't let Jer have this burned on him anymore he had dealt with it all summer pretending that Bonnie was away with her mom, but I can't have them knowing that Siena was the one who murder Bonnie either.
Stefan POV
After talking to Elena at the high school I could see why I fell in love with her I mean she was the perfect girl, what I couldn't get around my head is the fact we broke up. She told me it wasn't to do with the fact of my ripper side that she could deal with that. She mention that she changed after turning I mean I know people say they change but really how much could one person change? She became a vampire I was a vampire you would of thought things would have worked out better. Well I guess none of that kind of matter now.
We arrived near a bridge it was called Wickery Bridge this is where Elena father lost control of their car and ended up in the water and I saved her the first time. Then she began to tell me about the second time it happened that I was there but I didn't save her. Seriously was I an idiot to do that? but I guess she told me that I always did thing to make her happy even if I didn't agree. Well personally I think I was a bit of a douche.
"How is it cosmically possible to get into two accidents on the same bridge?" I think that was a pretty good question to ask I mean what are the possibilities of that even happening
"I don't know. Maybe it was fate drawing me back, saying that I cheated death the first time" I looked down at the water what hell would have stopped me from saving her?
"But if I was there both times, then why didn't I save you both times?" I looked at her and she gave me a small smile, I honest didn't get it.
"Because the second time you saved my best friend Matt because I asked you to" Yep I was a douche how the hell could I let the girl I love die and save her friend?
"Ah. Got it. So, I'm an idiot" I looked away from her seriously I really didn't like this guy who I was before.
"No. You were the perfect boyfriend. You valued what I wanted even if it wasn't what you agreed with" She told me as we walked towards the bridge. Well I don't think I was the perfect boyfriend because if I was then why did we break up?
"Well, it's gonna take me a minute to wrap my head around that" I heard Elena sighs.
"Fair enough" one thing I did notice being around her was the fact of that urges for blood that hunger kind of went.
"It's working, you know?" I told her she looked up at me surprised.
"You're remembering?" She asked with hope. In a way I wish I was but I weren't, Elena was kind of distracting me.
"No. I mean, this, whatever we're doing, the distracting, the sublimating, whatever you wanna call it. The urge to feed has settled. I'm not, uh, hungry anymore" I looked away from her it was kind of strange to be talking like that.
"Good" Elena broke me out of my thoughts I smiled at her.
"Whatever monster I was capable of being, I could see why I was different around you" I could tell like she was probably the one thing that kept me together from losing it.
"You were never a monster" How could she even say that? I saw what I was and I saw a monster.
"Elena, I saw my reflection in the mirror today. I was scared of me" I was it freaked me out a little seeing my face liked that a face of a monster.
"Well, you never scared me. The first time I saw you for what you were, I touched your face like this" She places both her hands on my face "And I told you not to hide" Elena starts to remove her hands from my face but he grabs her by the wrist I didn't want ther to move them there was something about her not the fact we used to date but the fact that I felt a connection to her.
"Don't" I placed her hand back on my face I began to caresses her face and looks deeply into her eyes. I felt drawn to her I didn't know why, I pulled her gently towards me and I leaned in for a kiss... but Elena interrupts.
"I'm in love with Damon" Elena moves her hands away from my face that took me by surprise. Did she says that she was in love with my brother? Her sister husband?
"You're in love with my brother? Your sister husband?" Elena took a step back and guilt filled her face how could she do that to her sister? To me? Well the old me?
"Yeah" she seemed a little flustered "I wasn't hiding it from you. It's not that-- I'm sorry. I just..." Elena takes a few more steps away from me. I couldn't believe what I was hearing this was all a little too disturbing.
"And just like that, the hunger returns" Right now all I wanted was to rip someone head clean off I just found out the girl who I used to date fell in love with my brother what the hell happened for that to even happen? I couldn't deal with this I used my super speed to get away from her I need to be as far from her as possible. Right now I wish I never knew that how could she do that to me I guess people do change once they turn.
Siena P.O.V
Well I didn't expect Caroline to move on that quick after her great love Tyler well maybe there love wasn't that Epic, I knew Nic had told Caroline he wouldn't go after Tyler anymore as a gift to her. I had overheard that he hadn't gone to college that he was helping out some wolves, well him doing that looks like Caroline moving on. Well I really did walk on an awkward moment 'Nico' how crazy it felt to hear that name. I could help but get a little upset about it all because I still hadn't got my baby back. Nico seem like a nice guy when I looked at him he had these amazing blue eyes dark hair he was cute, kind of imagined my Nico looking like that when his older looking like his dad.
I didn't want to leave on an awkward moment with Caroline and Nico so I invited them both to this party that Damon planning to have for me for my so called 21st. Caroline like always was excited and Nico seem a little stunned that I invited him. The thing is that Caroline had been so unhappy for a while and I hadn't seen her smiling like this for a while and I think it down to him. So why not let the love birds get together for one night.
I went back to the Salvatore crypt and Stefan and Elena had gone I didn't know if that a good sign or a bad one but I'm hoping just maybe with Stefan being venerable like that, it may stir up something for Elena. Maybe the love she had for him would come back and she finally let this whole fantasy of getting Damon. Well a girl can dream can't she? I mean since I turned into.... whatever. I'm my emotions have been heighten I genuinely missed Elena and it really did upset me that we were the way we were more than I let on to anyone.
I left the crypt and began to make my way home I walked at normal human pace taking all the scenery so much was going through my mind right now. Bonnie and the fact everyone wondering where she is and the fact that I haven't found Nico yet. My life pretty shitty right now and I know Damon wants to celebrate my birthday but seriously what is there to celebrate. I'm a murder I killed Bonnie in cold blood like Silas told me. I don't know if I was sane of mind when I done it or if it was Qetsiyah because I still don't remember that, strange isn't it? I mean every other memory come back to me but not that one. Maybe the witches were right to take Nico from me I haven't proven to be mom of the year and if he was here right now his life would be in danger. A tiny baby shouldn't be mixed up in all of this actually none of us should be. God I was so naïve years ago thinking that maybe one day I would marry and have kids and the most difficult thing I would be worrying about is getting the latest channel bag. That girl had gone she died a long time ago from the time when Nic took me away from Damon and showed me about the real world I lived in.
I arrived home and I walked in and I saw Damon in the parlour he looked deep in thought holding a glass of scotch. I think with Stefan coming back after all the suffering and not having any memory. I walked over and he looked up and gave me a small smile I leant down and gave him a kiss and pulled away but Damon didn't respond like the normally did.
"What wrong?" I knew there was something up with him. He sighed and he was about to talk and his phone began to ring and he answered.
"Hey! Where are you? I've been calling" Of course it was Elena I walked over and went to pour myself a drink.
"I'm at home. Look. I really need to talk to you about something" He spoke with sadness in his voice I looked up and he was looking over at me looking a little nervous. What did Damon have to tell Elena?
"Damon, Stefan's gone" She sounded a little panicky why would he leave? I walked over to Damon and began to frown at him his face was filled with concern right now we really didn't need Stefan to go on a ripper bender.
"What? What happened?" Damon was alarmed now I think he feared that his brother was going to do something stupid. I didn't get it Stefan had been behaving quite well all things considering.
"I told him about me being in love with you, and he just-- he stormed off and said that he was hungry. Damon, there's an entire graveyard full of people here tonight" God how freaking stupid of her to tell him that, seriously how are me and Elena even related. I wanted to rip her head off for telling Stefan that.
"Really Elena you told him that!" Damon shouted down the phone "I'm on my way" He hung up on her and looked at me "I better try and find Stefan" I nodded my head he was about to leave but something was playing on my mind.
"Damon...." I called out and he stopped and turned to me "What did you need to speak to Elena about?" He sighed and walked back over to me he placed his hands on my shoulder and looked at me tensely I didn't like the look he was giving me.
"Jeremy spoke to me earlier and his breaking down Siena hiding the fact that Bonnie dead" I felt my eyes widen "Elena need to know she dead she going to keep asking question why she not helping out with Stefan" I moved away from him I couldn't believe what he was telling me, if they all find out what I did they would all hate me and I can't deal with that. I used my super speed to get away from him and went up to our room and went into the wardrobe and grabbed a large bag and began to throw clothes in it "What the hell are you doing?" I heard Damon say and I ignored him, he right they did need to know what I did but I'm not hanging around to get staked. "Siena!!" He raised his voice at me while I went over to the draws and grabbed armful of underwear I was about to put them in the bag but suddenly it went flying out of the window. I looked up and Damon looked furious at me.
"Why the hell did you do that for?!" I raised my voice at him I didn't mean to but just came out like that.
"Why the hell are you packing your stuff?!?!" He screamed now Damon eyes widen I could see the anger in his face, he wanted to fess up to everyone and thinks I'm going to stay here and witness it all?
"You're going to tell them what I did... so thrown my stuff out of the window. Like I give a shit Damon" I started to head for the door and he incepted me.
"You really think I would tell them that you were the one who killed Bonnie" He spoke with hurt in his voice; I really didn't know what to think I mean I deserved to be punished for what I did.
"Look I killed her and...."I couldn't even get the words out of my mouth he placed his hands on my face and looked into my eyes.
"Siena I know when it happened you weren't yourself and you wouldn't intentionally hurt Bonnie" I began to shake my head I didn't need him to justify my actions. "Listen to me Siena, I spoke with Jer and Bonnie I don't want it come out what actually happened I know how much it killing you hold that guilt. Even though Bonnie don't blame you" He began to crease my cheek "We going to tell them with Bonnie bring back Jeremy it killed her in the process" I couldn't believe that between the three of them they would do that for me...
"I-I can't let the blame be put on Jer" No it weren't right it weren't ethical to put that all on him.
"We agreed Siena that the story" He spoke calmly I couldn't believe Damon would really go to such lengths to hid the fact of what I did but not just him but Jer and Bonnie too.
"But why would you do that...." Damon sighed and gave me a small smile.
"Siena you really don't get how much of an impact you have been to all of us. I mean Bonnie forgives you for your actions because she knows if she was in your position at the time she would of done the same" I couldn't looked at him any more I closed my eyes the guilt was eating me up with the fact I took her life "Jeremy sees you like a big sister always there to protect him. Hey" He tap my face lightly "Open your eyes" I slowly opened my eyes "Then there me Siena who you have changed into a better person and I love you for that, but everything I do all my actions right of wrong Siena I do it for you. Because deep down I know you don't have a bad bone in your body" He leaned down and kissed me gently on the lips then pulled away after a moment "Now you can stop this craziness of leaving. Elena going to find out about Bonnie being dead ok" They had it all planned but could I have them all lying for me? Damon justified all of their reason why they were doing it for me so maybe I should just go along with it.
"Ok" the words came out of my mouth slowly. Damon pulled me in for a hug and I wrapped my arms around his waist. He making it all sound so simple well we have to wait and see if it is going to work out that simple in the end.
Stefan P.O.V
I had to get away from her Elena just spilled to me that she was in love with my brother? I mean how the hell did that happen? Did something happen between them and if it did why the hell was Siena even with him? I mean she seem like a really decent girl and she looked really in love with Damon but how the hell can she be around her own sister know the fact that she in love with her husband my brother. Right now I don't know what kind of life I live it but it was crazy and sadistic it weren't the life I really expected myself to live.
I mean I sounded like a love sick fool who did everything that Elena told me to do whether I thought it was right or wrong. What the hell was my deal? Was I literally that whipped? Then for her to fall in love with my brother.... Well being whipped didn't work for me then and right now I didn't want to think about any of that I wanted to feed to block out all these questions.
I made my way back to the cemetery it seemed the perfect place for me to try and forget everything. I began to walk around among the people I grabbed a bottle of alcohol from a basket and continued to walk as I started to drink from it.
"Stefan?" I heard a girl call out I turned around and saw a blond girl. I knew who she was instantly from the photo I went through.
"Caroline Forbes, my best friend" She looked at me stunned, actually she was pretty hot the pictures didn't do her much justices.
"What, you recognize me?" She smiles as she approached me, hated to disappoint her she seem like a nice girl but it appears I tend to judge people wrongly.
"Well, I've studied pictures. You're much hotter in person" I drank some more "Sorry. I'm-- I'm a little drunk" well I was I was hoping consuming alcohol would help but it really wasn't .
"Yeah. Yeah. I can see that. Are you ok?" I knew what she was going to say everyone seem to fear the ripper side of me.
"Well, if by ok you mean heavily spiralling into Ripper oblivion, then yes, I'm dandy" I told her with a smirk then taking another swig from the bottle.
"Keg-stand guy passed out, so I stole these" I heard some guy say I turned around and two guys were standing ther one of them was hold two cups and the other one, Caroline turned to them both.
"Hey do you guys mind just giving us a couple minutes?" I notice the guy with the dark hair tensed up them I looked at the guy who had caramel colour skin I could smell blood.
"Yeah. It's probably a good idea because I can sense from here that you have a paper cut on the palm of your left hand, and I want to rip your entire arm off" I warn him and then the guy with dark hair was about to come towards me and Caroline stopped him.
"Stefan!" She half shouted then she looked at the guy who apparently wanted to fight me "Nico please" she looked at the other guy "Go away, hide. I'll find you" The guy leaves going through the trees I think she compelled him but I notice she didn't compel this Nico guy "Nico please go with Jesse" He looked between the both of us "Please" He didn't look too happy about leaving Caroline with me but he went to go and follow his friend, Caroline turns around to face me "Look. I know that you're hungry, but you don't do people, ok? It just-- it doesn't end well" Well I had read about that but I think I may give it a go, but I need to distract Caroline.
"What about blood bags? Do you have any blood bags?" I questioned her and she smiled at me well looked like I calmed her down.
"Yes. In the car. Come with me" I wanted something a little warmer than a blood bag, I super sped off to find those two guys, they seem perfect for my first official meal. I began to look around and I finally found them and I saw one of him go in the my family crypt it was like my dead family were handing them to me on a plate. As I began to approach I couldn't hear him on the phone to Caroline. I super sped in and bit into the neck of the less cocky guy and having that blood going down my throat what a rush.
"There. That wasn't so bad, was it? I did it. I stopped" I felt a little proud of myself I looked down at the ground and he looked at me frighten.
"I don't know what you are man, but-" I had to cut him off I didn't wanna hear his winning.
"Oh, I'm a Ripper. You know what that means? That means I literally can't stop feeding until I rip someone's head off. But look at us. We're working it out" I teased him maybe I weren't this ripper guy anymore maybe I could control my hunger.
"Let me out of here, please" He pleaded to me well he was innocent he didn't do anything wrong just wrong place wrong time.
"I know I should let you out. I'm good, right? I'm compassionate. I live with this burning hunger inside of me that allows me to stay in control, but what do I have to show for it, huh?" I shouted at him for who did I need to control myself for really why couldn't I just be me and people accept me for me.
"I don't know you, man" He cried from the floor part of me felt guilty but why should I? I mean I'm been shitted on being the good guy what the point of being the good freaking guy?
"I have no memories because my brain was fried. My brother, who's been my brother for 160-some-odd years, somehow stole my girlfriend heart, and my girlfriend let him, so you tell me..." I felt tears rolling down my cheek from the hurt of it all how could all of that happen? "...what's the point of being good?" suddenly I'm thrown off him I looked and it was the guy who didn't want to leave Caroline alone with me.
"Well I was planning on finishing your friend first" I went for him pinned him against the wall suddenly he flipped over and pinned me against the wall I tried to fight him but he was strong "What the hell are you" He Looked at me wide eyed I began to vamps out again and tried to bite him but he slammed me on the floor.
"Look I don't know what the hell your problem is and you may be hungry but leave Jesse alone!!!" Who the hell was this guy, suddenly Caroline enter the crypt.
"Hey! Nico, stop!" She pulled him off me and looked at him stunned "Ho-how did...." She couldn't even speak then she see her friend on the floor I got up I wanted to kick the crap out of this Nico guy but something told me he wasn't human, she turned to me "This isn't you, ok? You might not remember, but I do. You are better than this. You are not this person" I couldn't deal with any of this anymore I didn't like any of this and I didn't like the person I was becoming.
"I have to go" I backed away from the three of them.
"What?" Caroline shouted I couldn't be around all of this blood and I can't deal with anymore crap in my life.
"I have to leave" I rushed out of the crypt I couldn't deal with any of this anymore I'm not going to live that life I had before I'm not going to live in the shadows of the Stefan they all knew that person was gone.
Siena P.O.V
Damon really freaked me out when he told me about telling Elena and the rest of them about Bonnie death I mean I totally freaked out that much I was, willing to walk out on Damon once again. What was I thinking? No I wasn't think of course. Why the hell would I do that to him again I mean I knew I couldn't be without him it was the fear that took over me once again. All they were doing was trying to protect me and I've hurt Damon too much in the past and I couldn't do it again. So I agree with the lie they were going to tell everyone. That made Damon pretty happy and all that matter right now was him putting my needs to put aside what I'm feeling and think about him. He going through a lot himself there Nico and Stefan being tortured and his memory lost then he had this wife 'me' who clearly weren't stable.
I got to try and be supportive so if he wants to throw a party because he wants to celebrate my birthday let him, if he want to lie to our friends and family about the way Bonnie died then I'll let him. If all of that makes him feel tiny bit better then I have to go along with it all not matter how I'm feeling about it because like he said everything he does is all down to me to keep me happy whether it the right or wrong thing to do.
Damon had gone out to look for Stefan I think he was meeting up with Elena I could hear someone in the parlour. I made my way down the stairs I walked in and I saw Stefan by the fireplace, burning his diaries.
"Stefan. There you are. We've been looking everywhere for y-" Elena made me jump I didn't even hear her come in and then I saw Damon come from behind her.
"What you doing there, brother?" Damon asked Stefan continued to throw his diaries onto the fire. What the hell is he doing?
"Well, you know, just tying up a few odds and ends" He threw another diary into the fire I looked at Elena and Damon and they both looked concerned as probably I was.
"You sure you want to do that?" Damon asked I turned back to Stefan and he got up and turned around to look at us.
"Well, I know what I don't want. I don't want to be the person in these journals anymore. I don't want to live in this house. I don't want my brother's advice. I don't want to hear how I supported you, Elena, and I definitely do not want to continue this conversation" He grabs a bag and starts walking what the hell had happened?
"Stefan, wait" Elena called out to him, yeah like he going to listen to you after you told him you're in love with his brother.
"Don't worry. I'm not gonna go on a Ripper binge. Besides, Carolina said she'd call me every hour to make sure I was ok and, uh... I actually do trust her" Well at least he had Caroline but I didn't want that for him why the hell did Elena have to go and ruin it all.
"But..." She began to say and Stefan leaves.
"I think we just got dumped" Damon spoke with sarcasm but also sadness, neither of them were going to go after him? I began to make my way to the front door I need to convince Stefan to stay "Bella where are you going?" Damon called out I turned to him.
"Well none of you are trying to stop him" I turned back around and went out of the door I could see Stefan at the bottom of the drive and I super sped to him and intercepted him "Stefan don't leave please" he looked at me a little stunned.
"Siena how could expect me to continue living there, I mean....." He began to say and I cut him off.
"With the fact my sister in love with my husband?" he nodded his head, I sighed and ran my finger through my hair "I've dealt with it all with great difficulty" I looked up at him "I nearly killed her on two occasion but you stopped me" Stefan face began to soften "You see Stefan put to one side Elena you were and are a good man and so is your brother" His face began to harden once he heard the word 'brother'
"My brother good man....seriously? I mean I don't get it Elena and I were together and suddenly she in love with him and his with you and you know what it too much drama for me" He walked passed me he was right it was too much drama our lives were like some soap opera.
"Stefan hear me out" He stopped and turned "Look Damon told Elena many times that he don't feel that way of Elena, he tried so hard to get you both back together. I don't know when the feeling developed for Damon but they did. I have to deal with the fact my sister chose her obsession over Damon rather than her how flesh and blood" He place his bag down on the floor "I know you don't remember anything Stefan but I've lost a lot already. I really don't want to lose you either" He began to approach me he gently held my face between his hands and looked into my eyes.
"Damon very lucky to have you, it a shame I didn't meet you first" He gave me a small smile "But I can't be there right now. Please understand that" I nodded my head he kept looking into my eye like he was deep in thought, then suddenly he kisses me gently on the lips I had to force myself to pull away from him. "I'm sorry I don't know...." Then he sped off I stood there stunned why did Stefan keep doing that? I know his memory wiped but couldn't he see that I loved Damon? God why does this keep happening I literally had to force myself to push him away cause a tiny part of me didn't want that moment to end. Then one name screamed in my head 'Damon' and the memory of the night when he asked me about the kiss Stefan and I shared. The hurt on Damon face when he heard what happened I couldn't do that to him again, but I'm frighten of this feeling I have when I'm around Stefan could it be to do with what Tessa had planned for me the whole time? I just didn't know, but what I did know is that I love Damon and I want to be with Damon.
Stefan P.O.V
What the hell was I thinking I just kissed my brother wife? God that makes me thousand times worse than him how could I do that? I felt so angry with myself what the hell was I playing at? It was like I was hypnotised looking into her eyes every single part of me wanted her it was more than the hunger I had for blood. I was trying to fight it but I couldn't anymore but when my lips pressed against hers it felt like they were a perfect match her moulded into mine, her sweet lips touching my mine felt velvety soft. Then the moment was over Siena pulled away from me and there were all emotions running through her face. I shouldn't I done that to her now all I felt was guilt for my actions.
I kept wondering the streets I had nowhere to go where could I really go to? I mean I couldn't stay at home I didn't really know anyone, yes they knew me but that was too weird. So I went to the only place that I knew back to my family crypt I sat there looking at the names of family member that had died. I didn't even remember a single one of them not even my mom that pretty sad. I heard someone approached the doors opened and Caroline walked in.
"Hey. How you feeling?" She asked with her voice filled with concern, she really seem like a nice person but I knew she was only check to see if I hadn't murdered anyone.
"Hmm. I'm feeling better, which in my world means I haven't committed a homicide since I last saw you. I've been doing a lot of thinking today, a lot of wandering around, and this seemed like the most appropriate place to come" I looked at Caroline and she seemed pretty upset "What's wrong?" her face began to fill with sorrow.
"It's Bonnie. My friend, our friend. She's dead" I looked away from her I couldn't even remember who Bonnie was to feel some kind of emotion to her death.
"Uh... What-- what happened?" I didn't know how to kind of deal with circumstances like this.
"Please don't ask because then I'm going to have to try to come up with an answer, which means I'm gonna have to actually think about it, and then I'll start crying, and I'm afraid that I might not ever be able to stop" Her voice broke as she spoke, maybe that wasn't the right thing to ask her right now after hearing her friend was dead.
"Hmm" that all I could really say Caroline sits on a stone bench next to me "I'm sorry. I... I wish that I could remember her" I actually meant that I mean so many people who I apparently cared about had died. I didn't feel any emotion to any of them because in reality I didn't know them.
"I don't know. Part of me just wishes that I could trade places with you because without all the memories, maybe it wouldn't hurt so damn much" I really didn't know what to tell her. I guess what anyone would say to someone who lost a person they love.
"It's ok" She looked at me with tears streaming down her cheeks.
"It's not. I'm never gonna see her again, and I have no idea where Tyler is, and I just got so used to them being there all the time, and now what? I'm supposed to just learn to move on without them? How do I do that when all I have is this sadness and this anger and-" She was clearly upset and as much as I had so much going on with myself I needed to be there for her.
"Me. You have me. Look. You were there for me last night. Sounds like you're always there for me" I placed my hand on hers "So let me be there for you, ok?" She looked at me smiling, the one thing I could do is be there as a friend for her and she really seemed like a person that the old me would of cared about and I'm not planning on letting her go through this alone.
Damon P.O.V
Siena was going to walk out once again on me I mean she really freaked out about telling everyone about Bonnie death. I didn't blame her either I knew Siena better than anyone else and even though she act like nothing bothering her deep down she kept beating herself up. Well after telling her what Jer, Bonnie and I agree on we all knew what happen was not in Siena nature and I mean even Bonnie herself not blaming her that kind of saying something. Siena seem to of calmed down, I mean I would do anything for Siena even take a stake through the heart for her, everything little thing I do for her because of the love I have for her.
After making sure that my wife wasn't going up and leave me I went looking for Stefan I mean how stupid was Elena to tell him that she was in love with me. I don't even know or think I want know how that come up in conversation. So I searched all around town for him and no luck I bumped into Elena and I really wanted to lay into her but I knew I had to tell her about Bonnie being dead. She suggested for us to go back to house which we did and Stefan was there, but what concerned me was what he was doing. He was burning all of his journals every single one of them I tried talking to him and so did Elena but he basically didn't want to speak to us he didn't want to live here anymore he didn't want to be around us then he left. I felt hurt with the fact that my baby brother pushed me away I thought we could start afresh but look like that would never happen. There always going to be hatred between us.
Siena went after him I didn't know if she could do anything to bring him back but I wasn't going to stop her, if somehow she can convince Stefan to come home I would be grateful. Elena kept going on about we need to get hold of Bonnie to fix Stefan and Bonnie not being with us anymore and what 'actually' happen, Elena just stood there in shock she didn't utter a word. I didn't know if that was a good sign or bad. Elena didn't take grief well at all and now I'm worried that she might flip that switch once again, but all she just turned around and told me that we need to do a memorial for her and then walked away. I was in two minds to go after her but I think she needed some time alone, I think a very large scotch is needed after that I walked over and poured myself one. I heard the door shut and Siena walked in she had a sad expression look like she couldn't convince my brother either.
"I-I tried I-I'm sorry" She seemed a little shaken up as she approached me.
"What happened, What did he do?" I swear if Stefan upset her I'm going to hunt him down and kick his ass.
"No nothing" Siena spoke with panic "I-I just thought I could convince him and I couldn't I'm sorry" I put my glass down and hugged her it weren't her fault about all of this.
"Elena knows about Bonnie" Siena sighed.
"Oh" That all she said I think now she beating herself up over Stefan now.
"Yeah so she talking about memorial for her" Siena pulled away and nodded.
"Ok I'll get myself ready" She walked away I picked up my drink and drained it, I made my way up the stairs and Elena bedroom door was opened. I walked in and Elena was in going through some clothes.
"Hey" I felt a little bad for not coming up to check on her a little sooner. Elena was still going through her clothes.
"I don't have any clothes. I have nothing to wear. I mean, I burned my house down with all of my funeral clothes in it. I'm supposed to be strong; I'm supposed to have learned how to handle this, but... " She starts crying "...I can't. I can't keep doing this, Damon. Siena and I are at each other throats, Stefan's gone, Bonnie's dead. She gave up her life so that I could have my brother back, and I didn't even know about it" God I felt so guilty about all of this but I have to remember the reason behind all of this.
"I know" I said approaching her as she continues to rummage through her clothes.
"I can't believe this is happening" she turned to me and I hugged Elena and she continues to cry "I can't believe she's gone"
"I'm so sorry" I stroked her hair "I'm sorry" That all I could say to her I hated the fact Elena felt hurt like this but I was protecting Siena and I will always protect her.
I left Elena to get ready and I went into mine and Siena room I notice that Siena wasn't in there so I quickly got changed into black suite and black shirt and made my way downstairs. Siena was in the parlour she was dressed already in a fitted black dress. She turned to me and smiled but even though she was smiling you could see the sadness in her eyes, she picked something up I walked over to her and kissed her on the cheek she was holding a photo frame of our wedding day with her and the girls.
"I thought it would be nice a good memory" She had a single tear rolling down her cheek and I wiped it away and kissed her forehead.
All three of us left the boarding house and got into my car we drove to the woods where Jeremy had planned the memorial we all made our way there. I held Siena hand tightly and my arm around Elena for once both sister didn't have tension. There was a stump of a tree, where Jeremy places a picture frame on top. Caroline approaches the stump and places black and red cheerleading pom poms on top. Matt then places a coache's whistle on the stump. Elena scatters white feathers over the stump and all the other items, then she backs out crying and Caroline hugs her. I places Bonnie's book of spells on the stump. Siena stood there hesitating but I gave her a reassuring look and she slowly walked over and placed the picture frame of the girls at the wedding. She stood there for a moment looking down at the objects I knew she wasn't handling it too well. I walked over and put my arm around her and she walked back over to where the others were. Jeremy grabs a bell that was sitting on the stump.
"We ring this bell in honour of Bonnie, in remembrance for her" He rings the bell and places it back on the stump "I'm not sure what else to say" What could the kids say really "She says that she's not going anywhere, that she has been here all along. Bonnie has watched you all over the summer" Jeremy looked at Elena "Elena she saw you happy, and I know you think now that you can't have a normal life...that you have to be there for everyone, but you don't. Everyone will find their way, so you are gonna repack your things, you're gonna go back to college, and you're gonna live it up" I glanced over at Elena and she had tears rolling down her cheek "You didn't do anything wrong, Matt. You know I would have sent you 300 e-mails back if I could. I miss you" Matt stood there emotionless as he heard those words "Caroline...I watched you decorate that dorm room like your life depended on it" Caroline began to laugh "And I know that college isn't everything you expected and that you feel like something's missing, but... Tyler..." Tyler appeared behind everyone, walking and holding a single white rose. Caroline runs to hug him then Tyler places the rose among the other items "Siena" I felt Siena body tremble beside me when she heard her name "We may not know each other for years but you became a true friend to me, you're a fighter Siena you never give up your more special than you know, you can make anything possible" Siena stared at Jeremy and there wasn't any emotion on her face. She shook her head.
"I'm sorry I-I can't...." She walked off all of them looked at me as they probably didn't expect her to react like this. I chased after her and when I finally got to her she was crying "Damon don't please don't" I weren't going to let her push me away I got hold of her and hugged her tightly while she cried into my chest. She stayed like that for a while, I just wanted her to let it all out then she pulled away from me taking a few steps back and wiped away her tears "I know what I have to do" what is she on about?
"What do you mean by what you have to do?" I questioned her she stopped wiping her tears and straighten up.
"I'm going to bring Bonnie back"