With Mari's help, she arranged a meeting.
Samsu was already suspicious and paranoid – she dared not risk meeting Ashan out in the open, or even when any of the servants might notice. Instead, the meeting was arranged for the dead of night, out on her roof terrace.
As she rose from her bed and slipped on a hooded woollen cloak, Eliana's heart pounded so loudly that she was sure it would give her away. Surely half the palace must be able to hear it.
She went to the agreed meeting place and waited, pulling the cloak tightly around herself against the chill. Tilting her head back, she gazed up at Suen and his children, illuminating the clear night sky. She wondered what it would be like to be a star – so high up, so far removed from everything, able to see the whole world at once...
A quiet cough behind her interrupted her thoughts. Her heart began hammering again as she turned slowly.
There he stood, just out of reach, his features silvered by the moonlight.
She left the hood up, keeping her face in shadow, the better to hide her expression. She was sure that her eyes would betray her longing for him.
'I thought you swore you would never see me alone again,' murmured Ashan.
'I did,' she said, smiling into the darkness, 'but desperate times call for desperate measures.'
'Are you so desperate?'
'You know I am – he endangers the girls, he suspects that Eshu and Nisala are not his children, he plans to sacrifice Sarri... he is too dangerous. If we do not do something, he will destroy us all.'
Ashan nodded, 'You're right. I swore many, many years ago a blood oath to protect and serve a man – that man is long gone, and a lunatic has taken his place.'
'He was always mad,' grimaced Eliana.
'No, not mad. Cold, yes, calculating and cruel, certainly; but never mad. There was always some logic to his actions in the past, however ruthless he was.'
'Well, that's not the case anymore,' she said, thinking of the demeaning ride through the city.
'No,' he agreed. 'It's just a matter of time before he turns on us all, one by one. He seems to slip deeper into insanity every day. He has to die, before he kills us.'
Eliana hesitated. The idea of taking a life grated against everything she had ever been taught. The Brute's execution had been different – that was a punishment according to the law, decreed by the king. This... it was cold-blooded murder.
'Does – does he have to die?' she asked, tentatively. 'Could we perhaps just lock him away somewhere?'
'After all he has done to you, you would spare him?'
'It's just... I will have to live with his blood on my hands for the rest of my life. I don't know if I can.'
'Your life will be a lot shorter if you don't,' he said harshly. 'Eliana, see sense. This is not the time to be squeamish. Eshu's succession will have no legal standing if Samsu still lives, and former kings always become figureheads for rebellion, sooner or later. People become dissatisfied under the new regime and start to imagine that things were better under the old – it's an invitation for chaos.'
'Perhaps he would abdicate?' she suggested, hope clear in her voice. 'His grandfather abdicated, didn't he?'
Ashan laughed aloud, 'his grandfather was a weak old man who turned the throne over to a son who would have taken it by force had he not abdicated. Samsu would never abdicate of his own free will – he'd rather die. You know that as well as I do.'
She was forced to admit defeat. There was a brief silence before she asked, 'Do you think Eshu is ready to rule?'
'With a strong regency council, I think so. He's a clever boy – bright, good with people, quick-witted, wise beyond his years...' Ashan's voice warmed as he praised his son. 'With the right guidance, he'll make an excellent king.'
'You don't think there'll be any opposition?'
'Not with me on his side. If there was going to be opposition, it would be trying to put me on the throne, as the only other available heir. I will lead the regency council, advise him, help him learn to rule, but I will not take the throne.'
She exhaled slowly, a long sigh of relief; she had not realised she was holding her breath.
'But there is one thing... Eliana...' his tone grew serious in the darkness.
'Ashan?' she breathed.
He came half a step closer, almost within touching distance.
'If Eshu is to be king, we will see a lot more of each other – with me leading the council, and you having a prominent place as queen mother.'
'Yes...' her heart took off at a gallop again as her body became painfully aware of his nearness. She had thought that these feelings were dealt with years ago, but they had resurrected themselves without her permission. This Ashan was stronger, more powerful, more confident than the man she had fallen in love with as a vulnerable girl. He was no longer afraid of Samsu, and she had faith that he would do what was necessary to protect her children and Kisha's.
'You have broken your vow – you swore never to see me alone again. I just want you to know – I can't work alongside you without telling you – I have never broken mine.'
'Yours?' she was baffled for a moment.
'My vow. The one I made the day you broke my heart. I respected your wishes, kept my distance for the sake of you and the children, for your safety; but I promised you that, no matter how long it took, I would wait for you, and I have kept my promise. No matter how aloof you were, how haughty, I kept a spark of love for you burning in my heart. There has never been anyone else for me, but you.'
'Oh, Ashan.' She took a step towards him, closing the gap that separated them.
'If you don't feel the same, that's fine,' he rattled on, quickly, 'just say so, and I swear I'll never bring it up again; but all these years I have held out in hopes of you, and now I need to know whether to let them go for good, or...'
'Hush!' she smiled, lowering her hood. 'I love you, too. I told myself that the love was gone, but it never truly was. Please, tell me you understand why I did it.'
'Of course I understand,' he wound his arms around her waist, resting his chin atop her head, 'but it didn't make it any easier to bear.'
She slipped her arms underneath his, clasping her hands behind his back and standing with her head resting against his chest. It was harder, more muscled than she remembered it, but his scent was the same, and it set a wildfire of memories blazing through her blood.
Pulling back, she stretched up on tiptoe as he bent his head to meet hers; their lips came together in a kiss full of a heat and passion that she had forgotten she could feel, that she had only ever felt in his arms.
He slipped his hands under her cloak, sharing her warmth and pulling her closer to him. She reached up and entangled her fingers in the hair that fell across the back of his neck, grazing her fingertips against the fragile hollow beneath his ear and allowing them to trail across his shoulder and down his bicep. He groaned in arousal and tried to pull away, 'How do you always have this effect on me?' he growled. 'Almost ten years, and you can still make me desperate for you with the lightest touch.'
'It's only fair,' she laughed, holding onto him. 'You do the same to me.'
'Let go now,' he said. 'You are not free yet.'
'No.' She shook her head, 'We have to be together again, just once. In case we fail.'
'We can't go inside – we might be heard.'
She took his hand and led him around behind some potted trees to a favourite bench of hers. 'Will this do?' she smiled, wickedly.
In answer, he pushed her down on the bench and covered her body with his own. One hand cupped her face as his lips met hers again, his tongue searching hers as the other hand brushed lightly against her warm breasts beneath the cloak.
She was suddenly overwhelmed with need – she had to know that he loved her, that he truly wanted her. Reaching down between his legs, she pulled up his tunic – he was hard, ready for her. She began to caress him, sliding the silken-smooth skin of his member against her palms, stroking the shaft, encircling the head.
In answer, his hand snaked down between her legs, fumbling with her gown as he pulled it up to her waist. He began to stroke her with such gentleness that she felt she might explode with frustration.
'Take me, Ashan,' she whispered, urgently.
He did not need telling twice – in moments, they were making love. It was only the second time in all the years since he had first confessed his feelings for her, yet it felt as though their bodies had known each other forever. As he moved inside her, the memories flooded back – she remembered that there was pleasure to be had in this act, that a man could make her feel good, could take her to the very gates of heaven.
When he could hold out no longer, he brought his head to her shoulder and kissed her neck as he shuddered to his climax, struggling valiantly to keep himself silent. He lay panting against her chest; she stroked his hair as the sweat cooled on her skin.
'Thank you,' she said.
He raised his head, surprised. 'For what?'
'For keeping faith,' she smiled.
He answered with a kiss.
When they had recovered, they began to make their plans. It would have to be poison, they decided – they would bring Mari in on their secret. With her great knowledge of medicine, she must have acquired some skill with the darker herbs along the way. They would require something fast-acting, something that left no visible sign of their crime.
Eliana would invite her husband for dinner – a quiet, family affair, under the pretext of Eshu wanting to spend more time in his father's company, to learn from him. In his increasing paranoia, Samsu trusted no-one but Ashan to serve his food and wine. The responsibility of slipping the poison into Samsu's drink would lie with Ashan, and if they failed, he alone would take the blame.
She had protested this last part at first, until he made her see that the children needed her – he could bear whatever pain Samsu chose to inflict to end his life, as long as he knew that they were safe, that he had a son to continue his legacy.
They would give it out that the king had died choking on his food – an ignominious death for a once- revered warrior.
When their plans were thought out to the last detail, they returned to their beds.
Eliana lay awake until Suen retired and Utu lifted his golden head above the horizon. She had no sleep that night – her mind raced over all the possible outcomes of the situation.
There was no turning back now, and no possibility of failure. She must not allow her courage to forsake her. They had one chance at this, and one only – any blunder meant certain death.