It seemed that time was going by way too fast for my liking. It was already the middle of March and I was still torn in two. Zoë and Alfie had ended up finding out the same day that Marcus came. They were shocked at first but then just like Marcus, they understood and gave me similar advice as him.
At the end of the day, they all wanted me to tell Joe before it was too late and as much as I wanted to, I couldn't bring myself to do it. I would prepare myself and then when I actually saw me, he would kiss me and hug me tight, before telling me how much he missed him, even if we saw each other just the day before. And each time, I would look at his smiling face and then convince myself that it just wasn't the right time or place.
In reality, I was just putting it off.
"And the video is up!" Joe's voice interrupted my thoughts. I looked up as he got up from his desk in the corner of the room, a huge smile on his face. He practically tackled me with a hug, smiling softly and kissing my cheek quickly. "I'm going to wait a few minutes before looking at the comments."
"You're excited, aren't you?" I asked as he just nodded, a smile plastered on his face. I bit my lip hesitantly before shaking the thought out of my head. I wasn't about to ruin his good mood.
"Are you okay? Is something wrong?"
"No, everything's fine. Why would you think something's wrong."
"You've just been awfully thoughtful lately."
"Everything's okay, I promise."
You always say that, so when are you actually going to tell him?
Not now, not yet.
"Am I interrupting something?" I heard a voice to my left and I managed to wriggle out of Joe's grip to turn in the direction of the sound. Caspar was standing in the doorway to Joe's room, looking at us with an amused look on his face.
"Joe's just too excited for-"
"Stop it! I am not!"
"Uh huh, whatever you say buddy," I whispered, shaking my head. Joe let go of me and proceeded to move to his desk.
"Remember that one time when I asked you to play FIFA with me?" Caspar asked, directing the question towards me. I nodded quickly, remembering that time exactly. "Do you want to have a rematch?"
"Wait a second, was it that time when I kicked your ass?"
"Shut up, I'm winning this time, Deyes."
"Try me, Lee," I drawled out his name, accepting the challenge.
"Woah, easy there," Joe said as I began to attempt to walk without my crutches. He handed them to me and while I didn't want them necessarily, I took them anyways and smiled at him in the best way I possibly could. Caspar turned around and exited the room, leaving Joe and I alone for the slightest moment. I could practically feel his hard gaze on me, which only made me even more nervous then I already felt. "I don't want you to get hurt, again."
"I'll use them, just for you," I said in a joking manner, but he narrowed his eyes at me and blew out air.
"All I'm doing is looking out for you, love," he said, almost offended.
"I know that," I whispered quietly, alarmed by his sudden mood change. His gaze softened and he sighed softly before grabbing his laptop.
"I'm sorry, that seemed harsh. You don't deserve that."
"I don't deserve a lot of things," I said, looking up at him. He raised a questioning eyebrow at me and I just shook my head and smiled. "Nothing."
"We shouldn't keep Caspar waiting," he said quickly before brushing past me and looking back to see if I was following. I looked down and made my way towards him and then proceeded up the stairs. When I reached the top the stairs shortly after, I looked up and saw that Caspar was patiently waiting for me. He smiled when he saw me and held out the controller for me to take it. Joe was behind me and as I sat down on the couch beside Caspar, he sat down on the opposite end and started scrolling through comments.
As we picked our teams, I managed to glance over at him, seeing that he was smiling as he read each and every one of them. He looked up at me and gave me a thumbs up, as if to signal that everything was positive so far before looking back over at the laptop screen.
I pursed my lips together as I turned my attention back towards the game, which was starting.
"You're going down, Alyssa," Caspar said from beside me, pointing his thumb downwards to empathize it.
"Not a chance, Caspar," I said quickly, my focus now on the screen. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him smile slightly which only made me concentrate even more on winning the game. When it came to things like this, I was super competitive.
Caspar and I were completely engrossed in the match, our competitive sides coming out. I though that I was doing a pretty good job on both the offensive and the defensive side so when suddenly he managed to squeeze his way past my defences and put the ball in the net, I was surprised.
When half-time came, I was so happy with myself. I was down by one, something that I wasn't expecting at all. Let's just say that my competitiveness got the best of me.
"And she said that she was going to kick my ass," Caspar scoffed from beside me.
"She still has another half left, until she can kick your ass," Joe retorted quickly from the other side of me. "You're going to win, okay?"
Shit, now I have to win.
"Uh huh."
Just as Caspar was about to continue on to the other half, my phone rang from beside me and I looked at it half expecting it to be someone else other than the person that was currently ringing me.
It was my mom.
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Joe glance down at my phone screen, his eyes full of curiosity once he saw who it was. In a sudden rush, I swiped up my phone and held it up, answering the call.
"I'll be right back, okay?" I said to the two boys who were both watching me curiously. Joe more than Caspar. What Caspar was doing was something so immature yet hilarious at the same time. He was making chicken noises at me.
"Honey, what's that sound?" My mom asked as I realized that she was on the line.
I held the phone closer to my ear before rolling my eyes at Caspar rather dramatically and flipping him off. He placed his hand over his heart, clutching it almost before letting out a soft laugh.
"It's nothing, Mom," I said softly before jogging down the stairs and opening the door to Joe's room. I closed it quietly and leaned against it, shutting my eyes for a moment. "How's everything at home?"
"Oh, it's good. Your father and I have just been worried about how've you been doing."
"Uh, everything's okay. My leg is getting better and-" I started to say but she cut me off abruptly.
"How's Joe?"
"He's great, Mom."
"And what about you? Are you okay?" She's asked with a sincere tone in her voice.
I found myself sliding against the door as I shook my head, before remembering that she couldn't see my movements.
"I'm uh well-I've gotten myself into a situation."
"What's going on? What type of situation?"
"You remember Troye, right?" I asked as I heard her hum through the phone; a sign that she knew exactly who he was. "Well do you remember how he's a singer?"
"Yes, I do remember. He's really good at singing."
"Mom, he wants me to come and work for him," I managed to choke out, tears brimming the edge of my eyes. My mom was silent for a moment before she spoke up.
"But wouldn't that mean that you would have to go all the way to Australia?"
"I would have to move there," I said, trying to keep my voice steady. At this point, my entire body was shaking and the tears that had previously threatened to come out, were now slipping down my cheeks.
"Oh honey..."
"I don't know what to do, Mom. I can't just leave everything behind. Alfie and Zoë and-"
"Joe?"
"Yeah," I whispered softly before letting out a laugh. "God, I'm so stupid, aren't I?"
"You're not! Just Tell me one thing, Alyssa. What do you think?"
"What do you mean?"
"What do you want to do? Go to Australia or stay there because of Joe?"
"That's the whole point. My heart and my brain are leading me different ways and I just I don't know what to do."
"You've always been talented, sweetheart. Your dad and I would always tell you that but you would never listen. Instead you would constantly tell us that you weren't good enough, but let me tell you this now, you are good enough."
"I love him, Mom. I can't just deny that..." I trailed off, watching as my tears hit the carpeted floor.
"And I'm not telling you to deny it. I'm telling you to do what you think is going to make you happy and that should be your decision and your decision only."
"And what happens if I'm scared that what's going to make me happy is going to Australia and leaving Joe behind?"
"We're all scared when it comes to change, honey. You just have to embrace it, instead of letting it pull you down."
"Thanks, Mom. God, that helped a lot."
"That's what I'm here for, Alyssa. Now, make sure to call me soon."
"I will. Tell dad that I say hi."
"He'll be happy to hear from you."
"I have to go kick Caspar's ass in FIFA now," I said softly, forgetting that she was still on the line.
"What was that? I didn't hear what you said."
"Nothing. I love you, Mom. I'll talk to you soon!" I said quickly before hanging up after hearing her bid me goodbye. I quickly cleared my head and wiped the remaining tears from eyes before convincing myself that everything was going to be okay and that I was going to be fine. I still had weeks to decide.
I closed my eyes quickly before inhaling and exhaling quickly and then opening the door, not expecting someone to be there.
"How long were you standing there, Caspar?"
"Long enough to know that you might possibly move to Australia."
"Caspar, I-"
"Have you told Joe yet?"
"I-I-" I stopped before shaking my head, unable to make eye contact with the boy in front of me. "No. Where is he?"
"Don't worry, he went to go get some food for us."
"Alyssa, you're like a sister to me but when it comes down to you and Joe, I'll choose without a doubt in my mind. So, if it comes to a point where I think that you're going to potentially hurt him, I'll tell him everything."
"Are you threatening me, Caspar?"
"I don't want it to be a threat, but-"
"I want to tell him, I really do...it's just that he's so happy right now, and I don't want to ruin that."
"Just make sure that you tell him soon, because if you don't, I will."
I nodded curtly before brushing past him and grabbing my crutches from the space beside him. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see that he was watching me intently with an unknown expression on his face.
"And Alyssa?" He said, tapping my shoulder softly to get my attention. "Whatever you do, don't break his heart."
"I don't want to," I whispered softly, knowing that it was the truth.
I didn't want to hurt the boy that I loved.
JOE SUGG'S POV
When I walked back into the flat with a pizza box, it was eerily quiet. Usually, Caspar would gingerly take the box out of my hands and dig in but today, it was different. I looked around the room, only to see that Alyssa was on her phone. Her earbuds were in and she appeared to be texting someone, but from this distance, I couldn't see who.
I placed the pizza box on the table before creeping up behind her and grabbing her shoulders. She jumped and turned around, taking her earbuds out one by one before quickly discarding her phone. I smiled before pressing a kiss to her lips softly and wrapping my arms around her waist.
"I hope you didn't miss me too much," I whispered, laughing softly as she placed her hands around my neck. "Who were you talking to?"
"Just Troye."
"That's all I get? Just Troye? Usually there's a story to tell or something."
"He was awfully uneventful today," she said softly. I watched as she glanced down at her phone before biting her lip and looking back at me. When she did, I couldn't help but feel some sort of pit in my stomach. For the past two weeks, Alyssa has been closed off, always telling me that whatever she was worried about was nothing, but I could tell that in this moment and in all of the rest, there was something on her mind.
So, of course it didn't surprise me when I asked her about it and she just shit me down once again. I let out a soft sigh as she turned back around and sat down on the couch, before picking up her phone once again.
I quickly decided that it wasn't worth the wasted time and walked downstairs to get Caspar. I knocked on his door, which surprisingly swung right open after I touched it slightly.
"The pizza's here," I said softly, watching as he got up from his bed.
"Yeah, okay. I'll be up in a minute."
"Uh-"
"Is there something you want to tell me Joe?"
I shook my head slightly before smiling and looking down. "Nothing, it's stupid."
"Come on."
"Is it just me or is Alyssa acting weird? Ever since two weeks ago, she's been closed off."
"I don't think anything is wrong. At least it doesn't seem that way to me."
"Okay, thanks," I said quickly before closing the door behind me to give him some privacy.
As I walked back up the stairs, I tried to discard the feeling that was residing in my stomach. The uneasiness. It was as if something was happening right in front of me and I couldn't figure it out even though it was right there. But there was nothing wrong, right? It was just an instinct, to be worried and protective always.
That's just how you act when you love someone.
+
"You never told me how your viewers reacted," Alyssa said from beside me. We were currently lying on my bed together, staring at the ceiling and just talking.
"They love you, but most of them were just freaking out about how I kissed you on camera."
"To be honest, I was a little surprised myself."
"Really?"
"Yeah, I don't know. I wasn't expecting it," she said softly before turning to look at me. I did the same thing and the two of us stared at each other for a moment, brown eyes meeting blue ones.
"Can I ask you something?" I said softly before sliding in underneath the covers. She nodded quickly and did the same thing that I did only moments ago. "Is everything okay between us?"
"Of course it is. Why are you asking?"
"I-I don't know. I guess I'm just making sure," I said quietly, watching as as she turned around and sighed.
"It's been a long day. Get some sleep."
"Yeah, okay," I said quietly, staring into empty space. As soon as I wrapped my arms around her waist and pulled her close to me, I felt myself smile, and this time the smile was sincere.
It was all just me being a protective boyfriend, there wasn't actually anything wrong.
Everything was going to be okay, it had to be.
+
It's currently like 12:30 AM and I should be sleeping but I really wanted to publish this chapter, so here it is!
All I have to say is that the turning point in this story has begun! You'll just have to find out whether it's a good thing or a bad thing!
Anyways, with that said, I hope you all enjoyed this chapter! Tell me your opinions, what your favourite part was and what you think is going to happen!
Just like always, there will probably be another chapter up soon!
-Angelina
P.S - We're really close to hitting 7K and I'm kind of freaking out because I never thought that this story would get this many reads. I can't thank you all enough for the continuous support and love that you show both me and the story that I love writing. I love you guys to the moon and back!