"Yes mom I'm fine... Everything's going great."
I haven't talked to my mom in a while, so I decided to check on her.
"I miss you so much! When are you gonna come back and see ya mama?" She asked as I giggled at her being dramatic.
I was sitting on the side of August's pool and I let my feet hang in the water. I'm out here by myself because I wanted to take this call. I also have a lot on my mind.
"I'll be back to Chicago soon. Tajah and Kiki are trying to come up here to vacation with me. Maybe you can come too."
"Oh that would be so delightful. Send me some pictures of you. I haven't seen you in a while."
"Mom you know that's why they have FaceTime right?" I asked being sarcastic.
"Yeah dummy I know that, but I wanna keep pictures for myself. I have a bunch of your baby and high school pictures still. But, you're grown and I wanna see more. Send them to me and I'm not playing with you Jay." She said as I rolled my eyes in the back of my head.
"Okay mom fine."
"Some flowers were sent to the house."
She said with an uneasy look on her face.
"Flowers? For you? Ma you ain't tell me that you had a man! Tell me everything!" I semi-yelled getting anxious.
"No no no sweetheart... They were from Jacob."
I started to feel the depression all over again. It began to poor through my mental like a rushing waterfall.
Flashback
"Yeah I'm on my way to his place right now. I'll call you when I make sure everything is ok."
"Alright Jay be careful and don't forget to call me back."
"Alright Shay talk to you later... Make sure you pick up the phone."
"I promise I will."
I hung up the phone and pulled into the parking lot. I got worried because Jacob wasn't answering his phone. He got a brand new apartment right outside of the campus.
I got out of the car and grabbed my phone. My hair was in a messy ponytail and I had on a over-sized shirt from Pink. I threw on some Ugg boots and called it a day.
I walked up the stairs to his door and for some reason, it was unlocked. I got even more nervous as I walked further in.
"Jake?" I yelled out. There was no answer. I walked further in. I saw his shoes by the entrance to the kitchen and I saw a purse on the couch.
I examined the purse for a long time because it wasn't mine. I hoped that my cheating radar was lying.
Walking down the hall, I walked to the doorway of his room to see him laying on his back shirtless. Laying on top of his chest was a girl from my Anatomy 101 class. They were both knocked out sleeping.
Hurt and pain rushed through my body as I felt hot tears stream down my face. I cannot believe that he cheated on me. I walked out of his apartment and walked to my car.
I went to my trunk and grabbed my bat. I closed the trunk and went back inside. I went to the kitchen and grabbed the sharpest knife out of the drawer.
I walked down the hall to his room and took a couple of pictures of them to show Shay. Through everything, these niggas was still sleeping. But, it's okay, I got something for them. As I put my phone back in my pocket, I took a deep breath and took action.
I took the bat and swung it as it hit the mirror making the glass shader to a thousand pieces. They both jumped like they saw a ghost. But, I'm not a ghost, I'm their worst nightmare.
"Nigga so you felt the need to sleep with another broad?" I said walking towards the bed with the knife in my other hand.
"Baby no wait!! I'm sorry I'm sorry! I was drunk I didn't mean----"
I cut him off and stuck the knife in the spot in between his legs. The knife sunk deep in the bed. I aimed for his balls but the girl was still on top of him.
He yelled out because he thought I was gonna do it too. The girl screamed and jumped off of him and ran out as I swung the bat at her. When she left the room, I got straight down to business.
"Baby I know what you're thinking! I'm sorry I wasn't thinking straight! I was drunk!" Jacob said getting out the bed and slipping his boxers on.
"Don't come no where near me!" I yelled swinging the bat some more.
"I gave my all to you! I was always there for you! You had me worried cause you wasn't answering ya phone! Then I come over here to see you sleep wit some chick! Are you serious!"
"I've given my all to you and I still had to wait on you!" He yelled back.
"You did this cause I wouldn't have sex with you!? You promised that you would wait on me you piece of..... Oooooooo!! I hate you! We been together since Sophomore year of high school and you pull something like this!" I said swinging the bat at him as he ducked. He grabbed the bat with his hand and took it from me.
He pushed me against the wall and choked me up.
"These past couple of days you really been pissin me off with the attitude and you know ion like that! So yeah, I wanted sex and you wouldn't give it up! So I got an easy hit it and quit it! So what?! Sometimes I feel like I should've never laid eyes on you! I wouldn't be in this position now!" He spat in my face. Here came more hot tears pouring down my face as I saw the quick emotion of remorse fill his eyes.
"Baby wait I didn't mean that.."
"I hate you!" I yelled out and kicked him where the sun doesn't shine. He groaned out and fell to the ground. I ran out the room to the kitchen and I noticed that I dropped my phone. I ran back fast and picked it up as I felt him pull at my ankles. I fell down and kicked him as I ran towards the kitchen.
He ran right behind me and pushed me into the stove.
"You must be stupid to let me go." He said scoffing.
"You let five year go down the drain! Lose my number and don't talk to me again!" I yelled as I picked up the skillet off the stove and hit him upside his head with it. He fell down and I didn't hear a word. I was still crying because I was pissed off.
I didn't know if he was dead or unconscious, but I didn't care. This man told me that he would wait for marriage and that he would never hurt me. Jacob said he would always be there for me. I walked out of his apartment and I closed the door. I walked to my car and got in. I drove to a Walgreens parking lot near by and I let my tears flow.
The man that had my heart for 5 years, has now made me empty.
"Jay? Honey are you there?" I heard my mom say knocking me out of my thoughts.
"Yeah mom I'm here." I said wiping the hot tears flowing down my face.
"I know you told me not to bring him up again but I wanted to let you know that he sent you this big bouquet of roses and a card."
"What does the card say mom?" I said as my voice cracked. I'm sure by now she could tell that I was crying.
"It's okay don't cry don't cry. He said he still loves you and he hopes that you like the flowers. He also said that he misses you and he hopes that you forgive him. He's sorry for everything."
"Alright mommy thanks for letting me know." I said sniffling and still wiping my eyes.
"Be strong Jay... At least he's still trying to be forgiven. I want you to still be great and be successful like you've been doing. Get some rest okay?"
"Ok mom I'll get some rest. Thank you for everything mom. I love you so much." I said being on the verge of brand new tears.
"I love you too Jay. I'll call you in a couple of days. Remember that my Jay will always be strong."
"I will mom... Bye."
"Bye" She said as we hung up at the same time.
All of the memories started to come back to my head as I remained seated on the side of the pool crying my eyes out. I loved Jacob so much. That's why I started thinking if this relationship with me and Chris is a good idea or a bad idea. I don't want my heart to be broken again.
I'm afraid to love someday again. We were in it for five years, then that one night, everything was history. After that, he made me feel like I was nothing. I wasn't worth anything and I felt
my self esteem decrease. He said things that broke me mentally.
Then, he tries to come back into my life and sending flowers and gifts and stuff. Ain't no way I'm ever taking him back. He hurt me in ways I can't even explain.