Laurens pov-
Waking up to my stupid alarm I let out a big groan as I rolled over and hit the top of my alarm. Stupidly my nail caught the side and chipped, "uurrggg" I complained as I sat upright and inspected my nails, they were fairly short but now their gonna look uneven. Absolutely brilliant.
Throwing on some ripped skinny jeans and a grey Nike hoodie I made my way into my bathroom, my long black locks hung either side of my face, putting my hands through either side of my hair I ruffled it by the roots and made a face in the mirror. I looked good today, without bothering with make up I quickly brushed my teeth and walked downstairs.
I needed to sort out my nail, rummaging in the kitchen draws I jumped when i heard a familiar voice,
"What do you think your doing!" Oh shit that's my mum, turning around quickly with scissors in my hand "nothing" I said quickly, lowering the scissors. A quizzed look crossed her face but she quickly passed it off. Walking over to the fridge and picking out some Greek yogurt she sat at the kitchen table digging into her breakfast. Unsure if I should move or not I started to work on my broken nail.
"You know Lauren, your a pretty girl" Clara began, not looking up, smiling at the compliment I was about to answer when-
"You don't need to make yourself appear like something else" oh great here we go...
"I brought you up with dresses and skirts -" "mom I wear them! I do!"
"Lauren I know your like girls. I won t stand for it, you dress like some big gay in those oversized hoodies it's ridiculous. I don't know where I went wrong, and now look at you, cutting your nails to the nail bed , do you want guys to find you attractive?"
Her words hit hard, this was my own mother telling me I'm not good enough to be honest I don't know how to go on with all this, sometimes I just feel so alone in this, at school camila is homophobic but I always find myself defending her, I mean she did tell me why she was so homophobic but then yesterday... I don't know what happened. And even in my own home I have to fake smiles and fake emotions when all I want to do is break down.
"Maybe I don't want guys to find me attractive" I said grabbing my bag and slamming the door.
_
Walking into the vast open school building a sinking feeling came into my stomach as I remembered me and camila had lockers next to each other, maybe if I just walk around for a little bit-
"Jauregui" someone called behind me, turning around a saw Normani and her girlfriend Charlotte hand in hand, man I wish I had a relationship like that. They were so cute.
"Hey guys" I smiled brightly, these too just made me feel so happy, even though I miss my old school and friends I did love this open atmosphere of being who you want to be.
"You okay?" Charlotte asked, already making her way over to my locker, looks like I'm not dodging camila this morning. "Yeah I'm great" I said opening my locker. Normani squinted at me as she kissed charlottes cheek, "something's up" she stated. Okay this girl is good.
Rolling my eyes I shook my head, "I'm just shocked about the whole camila thing" I admitted not revealing what happened with my mum this morning. "She will come around just give her time" Normani said, her long curly hair suited her so well and her flawless skin made her look like some supermodel, feeling a little self conscious I averted my eyes to the floor, "how can you defend someone whose been nothing but horrible to you?" I questioned whilst closing my locker and turning back to face her, Normani just shook her head and sighed, "you didn't know her before, she was always good to me, even now there are spots of the old camila I used to know, I'm not letting that go, not yet" she looked away and a distant look crossed her face as if she was remembering a memory"
Looking down the hall the smile on my face disappeared and I felt a jab in my heart, it must of been obvious I looked pissed cos both Charlotte and Normani looked around, "omg" Charlotte spoke excitement laced her words, "what?" Normani questioned looking between an excited Charlotte and me whose eyes were trained on camila and Tom making out. "I think Lauren here likes Camila" she stated, cracking her knuckles as if she had work to do, she stared at me waiting for a protest but i just shrugged my shoulders.
Shaking my head I couldn't get rid of the glum look plastered on my face, "yeah well it's never gonna happen she's got dickhead over there" I said before storming off to miss shears PE class.
_
"Omg, Lauren I know your gay so don't look at me" camila laughed with Sophie, a ginger haired girl who always seemed to be in everyone's businesses. Looking at camila I saw nothing but coldness in her eyes. How could she just change so much in a flip of a switch. Blood rushed to my face as I saw a flash of her abs as she swept her shirt off her body, "shut up camila" I snapped before turning away and getting changed Into my PE kit.
Out on the field I noticed Scarlett keeping to my side, camila kept looking over and I kept over thinking if she was jealous or not. Secretly I hoped she was, I hated this I already knew I was crushing on her. "Alright class this is going to be our final lesson outside so make the most of it" miss shears spoke, I started shaking from the cold, it was about time we went inside its the middle of freakin November and there she was wrapped up in a shirt, jumper, fleece and coat. "Today we're running track, get lined up and start running! If anyone slacks you'll be doing this again next week !! GO! GO !GO!" She clapped her hands as we all ran to the track line, in seconds she blew the whistle and we all paced a steady jog.
"You going to the party tonight?" Scarlet voiced as she fell in a jog with me, taking a quick look at her I began to notice how beautiful she really was, but the question still remained and if I'm honest I had no idea.
"No probably not, you?" I asked my breathe becoming more rapid from talking whilst jogging, man I was so unfit right now. "Yeah course,you should come" she said giving me a quick glace as she sped up her pace, "I'm not sure" I gasped out, I wouldn't know who to hang around with I'm still fairly new plus it was at camilas.
"Yeah your definitely coming, ill pick you up at 8 tonight" and with that she ran off, leaving me to my own thoughts you can do this I repeated in my head as I was pacing my jog, I mean I wasn't doing awfully. Maybe I could last this lesson without looking that bad.
"Awh got yourself a lesbian date?" Camila spoke almost making me jump, Jealously laced her words, looking to the side I saw she was on her own , Sophie was struggling at the back of the class, almost tripping up I kept my eyes in front, camila gasped quickly "Mind your hand". she nodded towards my right hand. I wish this girl didn't have such mixed emotions,
"No actually we're just friends, you gonna bring Tom does he know your lesbian " I backfired, stopping in front of me I came to a stop in front of a very angry camila.
"Listen here Lauren, what happened between us it can't happen again YOU are bad for me your little text this morning almost fucking got me in a car accident! Your gayness is putting my life in danger just like everyone else's. I doubt i ever liked girls until you came along so stop playing around with me its not funny, I'm not gay." She spat in my face angrily , turned around and ran like really ran she was quick for someone quite so small. Did she really think i was playing her though?
Her words yet again hurt me and I felt my eyes glaze over but none the less I started up my jog again. "Cmon Lauren get going!" Miss shears called blowing her whistle at me. Only 40minutes to go, lucky me.
_
"Just pick something come on" Normani moaned from my iPhone speaker, we've been in the same call for around 20minutes and I still can't decide what I'm going to wear.for the party that is, it's 6pm and I've decided to skip dinner 1 to avoid my mother and 2 because if I'm wearing a dress I don't want to seem bloated or anything. "I can't decide though" I complained, letting out a sigh and sitting on my bed.
"Well you have to, your not wearing jeans" Normani said as if the thought were forbidden.
"I could though, and add a check shirt" I said happily already heading over to my wardrobe.
"ABSOLUTELY NOT! jauregui don't you dare!!" Normani panicked, chuckling to myself I flicked through the coat hangers and inspected each item. Tops, shirts , skirts and ...Omg my black dress!!
"Hold on mani I'm gonna send you a pic of this dress I just found" I informed and quickly changed into it. It was tight and showed my figure but it was also quite short which I began a little self conscious of. Walking into the bathroom with my iPhone I could hear crunching down the phone indicating that mani obviously didn't care about looking bloated or not. Using my hands to ruffle up my hair I picked up my phone and sent the photo. I did look alright, but a nervous feeling grew in my stomach as I wondered what camila thought of my choice in outfit. Or even better I wonder what she's wearing.
"Holy shit jauregui, you look hot!!" Mani shouted "dunno why I'm helping you, your on your own now just need to make myself look amazing, damn girl " she spoke before hanging up. Surprised at her answer I just smiled , at least someone thought I looked good.
Piiinnngggg the doorbell buzzed and I ran downstairs to answer, not expecting to come face to face with Scarlett in a super hot red dress with black thigh high boots, she looked stunning. "Omg you look amazing" I complimented, she blushed and handed me a rose, "well thank you, you look gorgeous tonight" she whispered shyly and came forward to kiss my cheek. I blushed deeply and then panicked a little as I remembered my mum was only meters away no doubt eyeing up the situation.
"Lets go" I nodded towards her silver BMW, closing the door behind me I breathed a sigh of relief and walked side by side with Scarlett. "I wasn't sure you were gonna come tonight" she started as we both buckled up our seatbelts.
"How come?" I asked curiously watching her eyes focus on the road, she really was beautiful, but I couldn't help but think of camila. "You seemed so into camila and now she's revealed herself for who she really is I thought you'd be repulsed by her" she said a frown appeared as she seemed annoyed by even mentioning camz.
Kinda shocked by how strongly she felt I took a moment to think, "um, no I thought she was a good mate,but yeah I'm just disappointed not repulsed. Normani said she'll come around so maybe until then I'm gonna stay away" I said carefully unsure of scarletts reaction.
To my surprise she seemed happy enough, "well you've got me now" she smiled brightly and reached for my hand, her hands were cold but I liked the warm feeling in my stomach when she held me. Finally arriving at camilas tons of cars and motorbikes were around and loud music pumped through the house, this party was huge. Looking at Scarlett nervously she squeezed my hand before letting go, "c'mon you'll love it" she said getting out the car.
"Walking side by side we reached the door which was already slightly open, Scarlett pushed through and we entered the cabello house, it was huge. People were dancing and drinking everywhere I looked, games went on in the corners and horny couples made there way upstairs, looking around I spotted Charlotte and Normani making out against a wall with drinks in there hands, I saw Sophie trying to get with some girls boyfriend, but there was no sign of camila.
"You looking for someone?" Scarlett called above the noise, taking my hand and leading me towards the dance floor. "No" I called but shook my head as well just in case she couldn't hear. Coming closer to me I felt the weakness in my stomach again, inches apart now, I gulped slightly. Is it possible to like more then one person at once? I think scarlets amazing and for sure i would date her but my thoughts always come back to Camila.
Scarlett leaned in close, "good" she whispered in my ear, almost seductively, "lets dance" holding both my hands she looked me in the eyes, we were inches apart, my heart pounded against my chest and I felt a Buzz I'd never felt before, a slight grin appeared on her face and she lead me to the dance floor.