"hello?"
Sans bent down and peered closer at the eye staring at him between the planks. It was dark down there, but he was sure it was in fact an eye.
The owner of it said nothing.
"hey there buddy, you okay?"
Silence.
"......."
SPLASH!
Without thinking, Sans jumped into the water and swam under the docks. He felt himself being pulled to the thing that had been watching him like a magnet to metal.
It was even darker under the planks. He began to search blindly with his hands, driven by an impulse he didn't understand. Hair tangled in his fingers, but the owner of the eye gave no indication that they were in pain.
What the hell is this guy's problem?
Wait...
His sockets grew wide as he realized he was grabbing a body.
Sans immediately drew back in disgust, but the body followed him. In his panic, he gasped and foul tasting water seeped into his mouth. Scrambling onto the dock, he fell to his knees, coughing and spitting in a desperate attempt to rid himself of the taste. The smell of rotting flesh was overwhelming and he gagged, getting up and staggering away from the area as best he could until something held him.
His hand was still tangled in the body's hair and the corpse was stuck on the dock preventing him from moving forward.
Sans took a deep breath in an attempt to calm himself and ended up gagging again.
Slowly and carefully he untangled the hair from his fingers and let it fall onto the dock.
You really suck bro...
He sighed, looking at the bloated carcass with a grimace.
He couldn't just leave it there, especially since it was affecting the water supply. All the water located after the docks was polluted by trash. This was all the clean drinking water they had.
Water you waiting for? It won't bite...probably.
Bending down, Sans tried pulling the body out of the water. He was careful with his pulling. He didn't want an arm to come off, and he certainly didn't want to end up holding a handful of flesh simply because he had pulled too hard and it had slid off some bone.
Finally managing to get the corpse onto the dock, Sans saw that it was completely blackened.
I guess she wasn't disintegrated after all...if it's even her.
It had to be her.
She was missing her feet.
Her eyes, bright blue, stared at Sans lifelessly. The fact that they weren't burned away by the blast, meant that she had closed them before she was hit...and the fact that they were staring at him, meant that she had survived long enough to open them again.
Did Papyrus drown her?
Sans gathered up the poor child and teleported down to the dump.
He knew nothing about human funerals, but he knew the garbage would cover up the smell wafting from her. It was the only way he knew how to preserve whatever dignity she had left.
He wanted to place her somewhere where the other monsters wouldn't find her, somewhere she could rest in peace without her smell bothering anyone.
If I were Paps, where would I stash a body?
It was a morbid thought, but in a strange messed-up way, thinking like his murderous brother made Sans feel happy, excited even. It made him feel closer to Papyrus somehow; like he could understand him better. It felt like they were growing more and more apart as the years went by. Even if he was more violent then he thought, it felt good to learn something new about his brother.
Papyrus wouldn't intentionally pollute his own drinking water. He wanted her to go down one of the falls and into the dump so he wouldn't have to carry her the long way around.
Without her feet she couldn't have gone too far. He probably drowned her near the blast area, and the current must of carried her to the dock where she got stuck. That means...
"the best place to put her is in the area with the yellow flowers," Sans said proudly.
He wondered for a few seconds if his little brother would be proud of him too, then brushed the thought away.
I probably shouldn't be proud of being able to think like a child murderer.
Walking through the gross water, Sans tried his best to stay quiet. He shook with every step, paranoia gripping his non-existing heart, trying to go as slow as possible.
He didn't want anyone to spot him carrying the human less they ask questions. No one would believe a monster with one attack point had killed a human, even if it WAS just a little girl.
Although Papyrus was a deceitful murderer, he felt no anger towards his brother. He had no desire to blow the cover Papyrus had worked on for...what? Nineteen years? His brother needed his help, not his hate.
Wait, no, he's still innocent until proven guilty. Killing humans isn't illegal, and it's for the greater good. Papyrus didn't LIE either. He never SAID he couldn't harm anybody, I just assumed he couldn't. I'm not being fair.
Sans continued his slow steps.
For all I know, this human attacked him. I bet that's what happened. There's no way this kid got all the way to Waterfall without dusting some monsters.
She's not even wearing a tutu. She probably changed into...whatever this was, so her defense would go up, and kept the shoes because they had great attack. Hell, maybe she changed her shoes and never came here wearing a tutu. Papyrus always tries to talk his way out of fights; she must have been super violent right?
Sans looked down at the corpse he was carrying; anger and guilt beginning to well up inside of him. His anger wasn't aimed at the girl however, but at himself. The little kid was probably taught to hate and fear monsters her whole life, so it was only natural that she mow them down and collect as much EXP as she could in order to survive. Sans was the one at fault here, not her and certainly not Papyrus.
I can't believe I blamed Papyrus first. He'd never hurt anyone unless he had to.
What would I have said if he had picked up the phone? I would have broken his heart into a million pieces.
.......
.......
.......why DIDN'T he pick up the phone?
The small skeleton swallowed hard.
That wasn't like Papyrus. He usually jumped at the chance to answer his phone. In fact, he couldn't remember a time when a call of his had gone unanswered.
What could possibly be keeping him from answering his phone?
Even though he has the day off, it's not like he has any friends besides me and Undyne to talk to. Well, I guess it's just me now...
Sans sighed softly, feeling sorry for his brother. He loved Papyrus so much.
More than he knew.
He wanted his little brother to be happy and have lots of friends, but no one in town seemed to like Papyrus for some reason.
He sounded fine over the phone when he asked about Undyne, so he assumed Papyrus was okay.
But now Sans realizing how little sense that made.
He probably WAS heartbroken and trying to keep it from worrying Sans.
Even if he was in a shop, he'd hear his phone wouldn't he? He'd of at least texted me back right? Told me he was busy?
Sans walked behind a trash pile and lay the charred corpse in the water beside him.
I need to call him again.
This time he should pick up.
He was probably daydreaming and didn't hear his phone, or maybe he was crying in his room and didn't hear it. That sounds more like Papyrus.
Sans pushed the number needed on his cell phone, and listened.
One ring...two rings...three...
Nothing.
Why isn't he picking up?!
Sans immediately teleported home and raced up the stairs towards Papyrus's bedroom.
The room was as clean as it ever was. His racecar bed was made, the carpet with flames was vacuumed, and his books were all still in their alphabetical places. His computer was switched off...and his brother was nowhere to be found.
He's not here...
Sans sat down on the bed, feeling drained. Fear and panic gripped him, but he couldn't seem to get his body to react. His sockets were dark, but his thoughts were even darker.
There's no way he's at the Core, he hates it there. He hates Hotland in general.
"maybe he dropped his phone..."
He's dead.
"no."
He couldn't handle losing Undyne as a friend, and he jumped off a cliff somewhere; maybe even into the Core.
"no, no, no, no!"
He's not answering his phone, because he's not around anymore.
"papyrus wouldn't DO that!"
Right?
It was true Papyrus was almost friendless, but he had Sans!
Sometimes...
Heh...who am I kidding?
I'm always at Grillby's.
Papyrus spends all his time with Undyne; I'm hardly ever around. She was all he really had. All he had were her and his dreams; and he lost both of them at once.
He was probably crying his eyes out right here, hoping SOMEBODY would come in and make everything all better.
Sans looked at the action figures he had bought Papyrus. He used to play with them all the time until he got a computer. It had become a tradition to buy one for his little brother every year, and every year his brother had gotten a new one; but this year...
He should have been there for him. A simple phone call wasn't good enough. He knew losing Undyne was going to destroy him, but he didn't want to deal with a bunch of drama.
It was his fault.
Papyrus needed him and he let him down. He probably died thinking no one cared about him or liked him. He probably spent a long time staring down the cliff's drop; hoping someone would stop him...
Nah.
He was probably happy to go. I can't remember the last time I've seen him smile. He's always been yelling, and frustrated, and angry. Papyrus was miserable. He probably jumped with a smile.
Everyone in Snowdin made fun of him, and Undyne kept disappointing him and giving him more errands...
Papyrus wasn't completely stupid. He probably knew the guard thing was never gonna happen. It was just denial.
He was probably happy to be rid of all that. No more being made fun of, no more errands, no more lies, no more being lonely...
"*sniff*"
Sans eyes filled with tears and spilled from his sockets onto his hoodie.
I'm all alone now...
I'll never be able to eat his spaghetti again, I'll never be able to help him with another puzzle, I'll never hear him yell at me for being lazy, I'll never hear his voice again PERIOD.
"my little bro, please..."
I'll never hear him laugh, I'll never see him smile, I'll never see HIM. No one will ever hug me again, no one will ever pick me up and carry me around again, no one will ever welcome me home, no one will ever tell me they love me, or call me 'brother', or check up on me when I have those nightmares...
Sans was full on sobbing now. He buried his head in Papyrus's pillow and cried into it.
"i'm sorry pappy! please come back! *sob* come back..."
This room will remain empty forever.
I'll never be able to read him another bedtime story.
He'll never play with any of his action figures ever again, and his computer will be shut off forever.
Everything in this room will collect dust.
"i don't even know where his dust is..."
What would I sprinkle it on if I found it?
I'm not coming home to an empty house.
Sans wiped his tears away, despondent.
It should've been me. I'm a walking burden anyway. Can't even clean up after myself. Can't even feed my pet rock.
Sans got up and teleported back to the dump, where he left the body.
I can't bring Pap back, but I can preserve his memory. No one will EVER say he was a heartless murderer; not even of humans. I'll make sure of it.
Sans gathered the body into his arms.
I'll have a chat with Undyne. Tell her what happened to Pap. It's as much her fault as it is mine. If she doesn't feel bad, I'll MAKE her feel bad.
I'll kill her.
I'll kill us BOTH.
The world doesn't need a lying bully or a lazy clown...
SPLASH!
SPLASH!
He continued walking carefully to the area with the yellow flowers. It would have been nice to have just teleported there, but he could only choose the area, not the exact place he appeared in.
SPLASH!
SPLASH!
SPLASH!
Wait...
Did she ARREST Papyrus? Is that why he doesn't have his phone? Did she take it?
"You know walking weird is going to attract attention right? People come down here all the time to look for stuff, so they're used to hearing other people splashing around."
Startled, Sans nearly dropped the little girl's body into the water. He looked around wildly for whomever the voice belonged to, and found no one. "way to make a guy jump out of his skin buddy. where are you anyway?" asked Sans nervously.
"Oh, I'm around. All you need to know is that I'm a friend of your brother's, and I don't want to see him arrested."
Papyrus has another friend?
"arrested for what? killing humans isn't illegal."
He might have already BEEN arrested...god I hope that's the case...
"Now, now, Papyrus isn't your font! You should be more honest with your brother's friends!" exclaimed the voice.
My what?
Sans stood there bewildered. Whoever Papyrus's friend was, they had completely lost him. He thought about asking what they meant, but before he could, the voice cleared it's throat.
"As Pappy's bestest and closest friend, it is my sworn duty to watch over and protect his friends and family; no matter how worthless or pathetic they are!"
Sans frowned.
I don't like your friend, Pap.
"I have watched over you like a fat skeleton watches the Nice Cream Man! Guarding you like you would your fridge!"
"you looking for a bad time?" asked Sans, his eye glowing.
The voice ignored Sans' threat, intent on finishing it's speech. "You may not realize it, but I've looked after you for years, watching you grow and learn and grow and joke and grow and grow and eat and grow..."
I'm gonna kill your friend, Pap.
"I've even listened in on your phone calls," said the voice slyly.
Sans brow shot up. Which phone call did they mean? The one with Papyrus...or the one with Undyne?
"i don't re-call giving you permission to do that," said Sans smiling, although he was VERY worried on the inside.
"........"
"and what's this about me not being honest? when have i ever seemed phone-y to you?"
Yeah that's right.
I got jokes too.
Jokes for days.
"You must really like the sound of crickets."
"whatever takes the focus off your voice," said Sans without missing a beat. He wanted to make whoever owned the voice angry, so they'd show themselves. It made him uncomfortable when he couldn't see who he was talking to. He only had one HP after all; he had to be careful. A surprise attack could be fatal, and this person definitely sounded like someone who liked attacking people in the dark.
"Either your font doesn't work on flowers, or it doesn't work at all. I really can't tell actually. Only one of your eyes lit up."
There's that word again.
"look pal, i don't know what you're talking about. what's a font? are you talkin' writing or...?"
"You don't know what a font is? Ohhhh that's too bad... Wish I could tell ya', but it's a loooong explanation. Pappy always says 'focus on your job'; and my job right now is to tell you to back off."
"back off?"
"That's right. Back off. Don't you say a word to anyone about Papyrus being the Resort Killer, not even to Papyrus himself. I'd hate to have to pay you a visit..."
Holy shit.
Undyne was right.
It's not just humans he's killing, it's monsters too.
Sans' vision became blurry, he felt like he was going to collapse at any moment. All the strength seemed to leave him, and although he didn't drop the girl, he could no longer feel his arms or legs. He felt separated from his body, like he was trapped in a great big fever dream he couldn't wake up from.
Papyrus is the serial killer. My little bro's insane...
"What's wrong Smiley Trashbag? You look sick! I hope you didn't catch anything from that bloated corpse you're carrying..." The voice's laughter, shrill and cruel, brought Sans back to reality.
"your concern is noted and appreciated," he said curtly.
What do I do?
"how can i help papyrus?" Sans asked himself.
"Golly! I hope you're not planning on running your mouth Smiley Trashbag...if anything happened to you, Pappy would be devastated!"
I'm more worried about what Papyrus will do to me. He wouldn't hurt me if he found out I knew, would he...?
"ugh." Sans head hurt. Too much drama in one day could really take it out of a guy. He didn't want to deal with all this. There were too many questions, and so few answers. He felt like he needed a pen and paper just to remember them all.
But losing his brother would be so much worse.
He had already gone through a simulation, he didn't need it to become a reality. This was his last chance to actually help Papyrus and keep his title of 'Big Brother'.
Okay, what do I know for sure so far?
Undyne accused Pap of being the Resort Killer.
Pap's been killing humans.
Pap's hasn't been answering his phone.
Some jackass claiming to be a friend of Papyrus's threatened me because they thought I would say something to...wait.
If this guy listened in on my convo with Undyne then he knows Papyrus has already most likely been arrested or is going to be BY Undyne.
So why threaten me?
He'd have to threaten Undyne to keep Pap out of prison, and that would make it pointless for me to tell her anything. Even if I told the king, I have no proof of anything.
So why?
.........
"Gosh, you look really frustrated! Do you need some help carrying that?"
He didn't want me telling Papyrus either.
Does he need me for something?
If I tell Pap what I know and he kills me, this guy can't use me...
...........
GRAH I NEED MORE ANSWERS!
Sans smiled as if he weren't having a mental breakdown. "thanks for throwing me a bone. i'll lift the feet and you lift the head, okay?"
The waterfall made it impossible for him to locate the source of the voice, but if he asked for help he wouldn't need to.
Please work...
"Why should I? Papyrus should be here any minute now. HA HA HA HA HA!"
Papyrus?!
Sans ran over to the only two piles of garbage near the waterfall and proceeded to lay his blackened burden down amongst the empty cans and boxes.
"Silly billy, that's not where that goes! Wait for Papyrus, he'll show you how hiding a body is done."
More laughter.
Should I stay, or hide?
"Welp, gotta run! I need to check on Chara because I'm a GOOD big brother. See ya'!"
"wait, stop!"
Is Papyrus really coming?
SPLASH!
SPLASH!
SPLASH!
SPLASH!
Someone was, and fast too.
The small skeleton quickly placed an empty box over the dead child and slipped between the middle of the trash mounds.
Please don't find me...
Suddenly, a small human wearing a strange hat ran past, shooting a gun wildly.
"Nyeh heh heh! Whatever are you aiming at human?"
Pap!
"Leave me alone, freak!" yelled the child, still shooting.
The kid sounded like he might be male, though they weren't wearing a striped shirt.
It was actually pretty hard to tell what they were wearing, because they was covered head to toe in dirt. It really looked like they hadn't bathed in a long time.
Sans couldn't recall reading in the paper about a human running around.
Must have been hiding out down here.
As the battle continued, he quickly searched the trash piles he was hiding behind for a piece of mirror. The piles were huge and there were two of them, there had to be at least ONE shard in there...
Bingo.
Sans hit the jackpot and found a mirror shard as big and wide as his own palm. With this, he could watch the battle without leaning out of his hiding place.
Wiping the grim off the shard, Sans tilted in until he was able to at least see the kid.
The battle was not going well for them.
Their face was a mask of terror and panic as they began to back away from Papyrus.
He knows it's a dead end.
"What's the matter, human? You look upset!"
"STAY BACK!" The child fired his gun wildly, but their shots missed Papyrus by a mile.
This kid's aim is shit...
Papyrus closed the gap between them fairly quickly, almost skipping his way towards the child. He didn't seem perturbed at all by the bullets whizzing by his skull. "Golly! You're absolutely filthy child! You know what you need? A bath."
"LET GO OF ME!" screamed the child as Papyrus lifted them into the air by their neck. They continued screaming as Papyrus scanned the area for a place with deeper water, kicking at the skeleton's ribs. Unfortunately for them, Papyrus's arms were a lot longer than their legs, and they couldn't land a single blow.
"Drat! Can't find a good place to drown you anywhere!" complained Papyrus with a hand on his hip, "You'd think since the whole area is flooded, there'd be SOME kind of deep end; but I guess not." He sighed deeply as if he were truly upset and shook his head in mock disappointment; or at least it LOOKED like he was being sarcastic.
Use the gun, kid! You have a gun!
"You wanna go for a little walk? Maybe there's a deep end in the next area."
The child continued screaming, completely ignoring Papyrus, and began hitting his arm repeatedly with their gun, trying to get free.
"Hey! Stop that at once! If you don't behave I WILL take your toys away," said Papyrus looking angry. Sans couldn't tell what was sarcasm and what was real anymore. He didn't even know who he was suppose to be rooting for at this point. He loved his brother, but right now he was being an asshat.
Shoot his arm or something!
The human was wailing at this point. They had stopped hitting Papyrus and simply hung in the air crying, clutching the hand that held their neck. "Uahaaawaaaahhh!"
"Ugh. Enough..." said Papyrus, holding the child as far away from him as possible. He put a hand to his head where his ear would've been in irritation.
"Somethin' wrong bonehead?"
Sans almost dropped the mirror shard in surprise as a familiar voice called out to his brother.
Is that person still here?!
Sans tilted the mirror shard this way and that, but saw no one. Whoever this was had to of been really small, or in the same hiding place as before.
"The child shrieks like a fruit bat!" complained Papyrus.
"Waaaaauuuuuhhhh!"
"Sounds like they need a hug! Give em' a hug Pappy!" said the voice. Sans tried to remember if he knew anyone that sounded that shrill and obnoxious, but came up with nothing.
Papyrus looked at the little human. "Is that what you need human? Do you need a hug from the Great Papyrus?" He still held the human out in front of him, but this time under the arms. His insane smile reminded Sans of a strange comic he had found at the dump once. There was a panel where a guy in a black striped shirt was holding out a stuffed bear like Papyrus was holding out the kid and he was talking to the bear with that same twisted grin.
What was that comic called?
...Johnny The Homicidal Maniac?
A shrill screech reverberated loudly throughout the dump as Papyrus squeezed the small kid in his arms. Sans winced as the noise rang in his skull deafeningly.
"What is wrong with you human? I'm being nice! Why are you so afraid?"
Yeah, really ki-
Oh...
The kid, thrashing their legs, continued screaming as blood began to flow from their mouth.
They weren't just afraid.
They were being crushed.
"I don't think this is working. What am I doing wrong, I wonder?"
Sans cringed, swearing he had heard a few bones break.
"Maybe they aren't a huggy person...?"
"Nonsense! Everyone loves hugs! Isn't that right Human?"
This isn't my brother...
"Oh I know! Their upset because they don't want to get in trouble! Children aren't suppose to accept hugs from strangers."
This CAN'T be my brother!
"Are you sure?"
"There you go doubting me again...it really hurts my feelings you know," said the voice sounding sad.
"What if I don't tell anybody? Then can I hug you Human?"
The human didn't respond. Their struggles had ceased.
Are they...dead?
"No means no Pappy. Don't be such a perv..."
"I'm not a perv! I'm just friendly!" Exclaimed Papyrus as if he'd been insulted.
"You're a creeper." teased the voice.
"I most certainly am not!"
"Creeeeeepppeeerrrrrrr...."
"How dare you..." said Papyrus giggling.
The comedian was stunned. The voice and his brother reminded Sans of his drinking buddies down at Grillby's. They laughed like great friends; sharing jokes and having a good time.
They ARE sharing jokes and having a good time...
Papyrus dropped the child, and they scrambled away as quickly as they could, coughing up blood and wiping away tears.
Run kid, run away! Run like the wind!
The child ran, but in their panic, they went the wrong way.
Right back to the dead end near the yellow flowers.
You gotta be kidding me!
They struggled to move a broken arm and succeeded in taking out...something. Sans was close to the kid, but he still couldn't tell what they were holding. Whatever it was, they definitely found it at the dump.
They popped the possible food item into their mouth and began to chew. They obviously didn't like it, no surprise there, but it put their HP back at a reasonable level.
"Heh hey Human! You're looking better!" said Papyrus with a grin.
"Yaaaayyy!"
"SHUT UP!"
The sound of gloves clapping together was just loud enough for Sans to hear over the crashing waterfall. He noticed no one else was clapping though.
Does Pap's friend not have arms or hands, or are they just not making enough noise? Maybe Papyrus is friends with a ghost like Napstablook.
"I'll kill you! I'll kill you both!" screamed the child madly.
Sans highly doubted they'd put up much of a fight at this point. Food didn't fix broken bones...at least he didn't think so. Squinting at the kid's arms, he could see that they were, in fact, still broken. Their ribs were probably a mess too.
How were they still standing?
Is the power of Determination that strong...?
"Ugly Decor!"
"What did you just call me?"
The small skeleton raised a brow.
Papyrus's tone had changed.
The mirth in his brother's voice was still there, but something else had been added in. He couldn't quite place what it was, but it made him feel like a storm was coming. Again, he was reminded of that guy in that comic book. Sans didn't know what Decor meant, nor had he heard it before, but it must have been really bad; probably a swear. He wouldn't be too surprised at this point if his brother knew a few curse words, but he was surprised that he knew one Sans didn't.
Probably the voice's fault. They're just like Papyrus. I bet they're responsible for him acting this way.
"What's a Decor?"
Or not.
Sans couldn't see his brother's face even with the mirror, but he could feel his anger; almost taste it. The atmosphere had completely changed, and tension filled the air and area around them. One could almost forget there was a waterfall nearby, it was so distracting and uncomfortable.
He shifted his feet nervously waiting and wanting for SOMEONE to speak. Even the child was quiet. They had the look of a kid that knew they had effed up; like they had called their mother a cunt in front of everyone at a family reunion.
"Decor, my friend, is a derogatory term for Skeletons; and if you ever use it, I will snap your neck without hesitation."
Sans shuddered. He could feel Papyrus's anger, but his voice did NOT match his mood. He still sounded cheery...
".......what does it mean though? I don't get how it's bad..."
The voice's tone had changed too. They sounded meek and frightened. Clearly Papyrus was the strongest of the two, and in charge of whatever relationship they had.
"Humans, during a holiday called 'Halloween', dress up as monsters to scare each other and collect candy from houses-"
"Like Spooky Day? Where monsters dress up like witches, zombies, vampires, and werewolves, etc?"
"Yes, and they dress up their houses with decorations such as ghosts and for some reason naked skeletons."
Sans smiled, amused with the similarities between the holidays monsters and humans had despite the situation he was in. He often collected books and movies from the dump and studied them to better prepare himself and his brother for the surface. Many holidays and traditions were similar to theirs. Despite the differences between Humans and Monsters ability and appearance wise; they were basically the same; intelligent creatures that just wanted a place in the world.
"Why is calling you a naked skeleton bad?"
"Because it's insinuating that Skeletons are stupid wild animals with no decency, who only desire to scare people and don't deserve the same rights humans and monsters have."
Skeletons aren't monsters?
"Umm..."
Sans struggled not to laugh at the inappropriate joke the voice had made.
He's an ass, but he is brave I'll give em' that much.
"You've something to say?" Papyrus's full cheerful demeanor was back, whatever had been added to his tone before was gone. It seemed whoever owned the voice had a knack for cheering Papyrus up. It was sad however, that his brother didn't share the same sense of humor Sans did. He really couldn't see himself making a really mean joke like that about such a sensitive topic, or any mean joke in general. His puns annoyed people enough; he didn't need to get punched in the face.
"Not a thing."
"You wouldn't lie to me, would ya'?"
It was getting harder not to laugh.
"I gotta go..."
Sans laughed.
Luckily for him it had built up and turned into silent laughter. It hurt like hell, but it was more preferable than being caught.
"I actually do have to go. I need to check up on the human."
"Check up? Why?"
The comedian may not have liked making mean jokes, but listening to other people make them, and seeing things go well, made him happy. People could sometimes be oversensitive about comedy; he was glad Papyrus wasn't like that.
"Mind your business Bonebag!"
He was happy to hear him making jokes period. Every once in awhile he would make a pun and play along with Sans, but it wasn't the same as this.
His brother sounded genuinely happy for once.
"Nyeh heh heh heh!"
He wished he could see him smile.
He wished he could make him smile.
Make him laugh like his friend did...
I'm bumming myself out...
"Must be rather important for you to give up the chance to gain a soul. *gasp!* Is this love Flowey? Did you find a sweetheart?!"
Flowey...?
"Ewww! No!"
"You can tell me, Flowey. Does he call you Buttercup?"
He's a flower!
"He's my brother! Or...sister. I didn't ask their gender..."
"Love is blind anyway. I'm so happy for you!"
"IT'S NOT LOVE YOU IDIOT!"
Sans glanced at the patch of yellow flowers. He couldn't tell from where he was, but he was sure "Flowey" had to be there.
"If it's not love, that means you're still available, yes?*audible wink*"
And when I catch him, he's gonna tell me everything he knows about all this crap.
"I WILL CARVE YOU LIKE A PUMPKIN PAPYRUS!"
Papyrus was in full view now, staring into the flower patch. He seemed to have either forgotten about the kid with the gun, or decided to catch him later. They stood near the waterfall watching the two and listening to Papyrus tease Flowey.
Kid's an idiot. How the hell did they survive down here for ANY period of time?
"How about some introductions then?"
"Introductions?"
"Yeah, I'm lonely."
"pffft!" Sans quickly put a hand over his mouth.
Did anyone hear him?
"I'm not hooking you up with my sibling! You're DISGUSTING!"
Come on bro, stop...
"Am I not good enough for your brother? Who, pray tell, is more amazing than the Great Papyrus?"
"CHARA'S A CHILD!"
.........
.........
"........I can make him into a man."
"I'm outta here!"
"Awww! Don't go! Floooowweeeyyy!"
Papyrus held his arm out dramatically, falling to his knees and reaching out to his friend.
"See ya' later Sans!"
"What?!"
Fucker!
Sans kept his eyes locked on his brother, ready to teleport if necessary.
"Sans is here?!"
There was no answer.
Flowey was apparently really gone this time.
Turning around sheepishly, Papyrus looked right at the two trash mounds, his face a light orange.
Of course he'd look here. There's no other place I could hide.
"Saaans?" Papyrus called out to him sounding embarrassed, "Brother, a-are you really there?" He almost looked scared to Sans. Like he didn't really want him to come out or say anything. He kept his hands up to his chest, intertwining his fingers as if he were pleading. His index fingers tapped together nervously.
He didn't make a move towards the trash piles.
He IS scared. What for though? What the hell does he think I'M gonna do? I can't do shit...
"Decor's not a bad word," said the kid out of nowhere. Sans wasn't sure if they were being brave or just stupid. They looked at Papyrus blankly.
Did they seriously stay JUST to continue that argument?!
"It's insulting to Normal Fonts because they don't enjoy scaring people, and it's insulting to Horror Fonts because the decorations are not scary in the slightest, insinuating that we're useless and have no business living with humans side-by-side."
Sans let out a breath he was unaware he had been holding. Papyrus had no intention of confronting him. He looked as relieved as Sans felt and was probably just as thankful that the kid had spoken up.
"It's not a bad word if it's true," said the child stubbornly.
Welp, there goes the last of the sympathy I had for this kid.
I still don't know what this font stuff is all about, but it sounds like Decor's a REALLY bad word.
"You realize these are your last words? Perhaps you should choose the next ones more carefully..." suggested Papyrus, crossing his arms.
How does Papyrus even know these things? Even if he's gotten into my books, I've never read anything about prejudice against skeletons...
"Your whole species is trash and I'm glad you got purged," sneered the human sticking out their tongue.
"Cheeky!" said Papyrus laughing.
What a brat...
"You're all freaks! Every Font is a fucking freak!"
"Whoa...language child."
SPLASH!
SPLASH!
The human kicked the water at Papyrus in an attempt to splash him.
This kid needs a time out.
"I hate you! I hate your whole FAMILY! I hate your big STUPID outfit!"
"Wh-wha?"
Papyrus looked like he was about to cry.
"My brother helped me make this..."
"It's ugly! Your scarf is ugly! Your outfit is STUPID! Your boots are stupid!" yelled the human splashing more water.
SPLASH!
SPLASH!
SPLASH!
"FUCK YOU, HUMAN! I LOOK COOL! MY BIG BROTHER SAID SO!" screamed Papyrus, startling Sans.
Where did that come from?!
SPLASH!
SPLASH!
Papyrus kicked water back at the child.
"YOUR BIG BROTHER IS STUPID! AND YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO CURSE!" screamed the kid, red in the face.
Hey...
"I'M AN ADULT! I CAN DO WHATEVER THE HELL I WANT TO!" screamed Papyrus just as loudly.
"FUCKER!"
"BRAT!"
"I'M NOT A BRAT!"
"YOU'RE A BRAT!"
"DON'T CALL ME A BRAT!" shrieked the child.
"YOU'RE A BRAT! BRAT! BRAT!" screamed Papyrus, stomping his foot with every 'brat'.
"SHUT UP!"
"YOU SHUT UP!"
"NO, YOU SHUT UP!"
"YOU SHUT UP HUMAN!!"
"HEY!"
Sans struggled to keep from laughing again as a bone attack knocked the kid's hat from off their head.
Nice shot bro.
"Oh dear, please do forgive me little human. I WAS AIMING FOR YOUR BIG STUPID HEAD!"
"I HATE YOOOOUU!!"
The now hatless human had lost all sense of fear and apparently reason, for they had taken out a Sea Tea and was now gulping it down like a water elemental at a frat party.
They're not seriously going to try to CHARGE Papyrus are they?
The tea increased the kid's speed exponentially, and with a fierce shriek, they charged at the angry skeleton.
"AAAAAHHHHHHH!!"
Throwing their gun at Papyrus's face, they leaped at him...
right into the jaws of a Gaster Blaster.
BLOOSH!
This kid didn't have enough HP to survive the blast like the girl did. They fell dead on the spot, smoking like a camp fire.
"The Great Papyrus awards you with an A for effort...even though effort starts with an E! Nyeh heh heh!"
Oh my god.
Papyrus clapped his hands merrily, jumping up and down in the water.
SPLASH!
SPLASH!
SPLASH!
Sans watched as a tiny yellow soul floated up from his remains and Papyrus skipped over to collect it.
Freakin' lunatic, man...
Papyrus pick up the charred body by the neck and dragged it to the waterfall. Sans watched intently as his brother pressed down on a rock that was sticking out, activating some kind of mechanism that ultimately revealed an opening.
He and his puzzles.
Papyrus tossed the dead child like it was any other piece of garbage into the opening, and humming Bonetrousle, he closed it off and began to leave.
Sans waited until all the splashing stopped to finally step out from between the two trash mounds.
Gathering up the little girl in his arms, he walked towards the waterfall and, after setting her down again, pressed the rock jetting out...or at least he tried to. The rock appeared to be stuck...that or he just didn't have the strength to press it. Using both hands, he pushed at the rock using all of his body weight, his eyes closed tight in concentration, until he finally gave up and hung there exhausted.
They shot open in terror when he felt a gloved hand over both his own press down hard on the rock that had bested him.
"In need of assistance brother?"