~ I remember the day you left... I remember the last breath you took right in front of me ~
Chapter Nine: Stay
I looked down at Max where his head rested in my lap, his body curled up cutely as he looked up at me quietly. I ran my fingers through his dark curls, soothing him quietly, making him smile sleepily. "You're cute when you're tired," I told him, twisting his hair around my fingers. He mumbled something incoherent, making me giggle. "Come again?"
Max slowly opened his brown eyes. "I should go home," he said. "But I'm not sure how safe it is considering I'm passing out in your lap."
I laughed quietly. "I'm not sure it's very safe at all."
Max sighed, readjusting in my lap. "Although I'm a liar if I say that's the only reason I don't want to leave."
I smiled. "Let me up so I can grab a pillow and blanket for you."
Max shook his head. "Just another minute?" he requested quietly, his arm sliding around my waist and his face burying itself against my abdomen. I nodded, still playing with his hair.
"Sure thing, darling," I told him, using my other hand to softly rub his back in small circles. He let out a quiet noise as he pressed himself closer.
"You're putting me to sleep," he told me, his voice muffled. I laughed lightly, not ceasing my movements.
"I know," I assured him. Max frowned.
"I don't wanna fall asleep on you," he whispered. I laughed, leaning over and kissing his cheek.
"I wouldn't mind," I assured.
Max suddenly shifted, sitting up beside me. "I would," he said, settling for resting his head on mine instead. "It can't be very comfortable to fall asleep with a grown Max laying in your lap."
I laughed a little, feeling his arms snake around my waist. "You're so comfy," he chuckled. I smiled, slowly separating from him, quickly grabbing a spare pillow and blanket from my linen closet. He was standing when I came back, rubbing his eyes sleepily. I took his hand, slowly tugging him towards the hallway.
"Here," I said, opening the door to the spare bedroom. "You can crash here tonight."
Max nodded, giving me a tired smile and kissing the top of my head. "Thanks, Simmy," he said. I nodded, letting him wrap me gently in his arms for a moment. "Goodnight, lovely..."
I chuckled. "Goodnight, Max..." I said, pulling away. I watched him lay down, making himself comfortable and closing his eyes, making me smile as I leaned over and kissed his cheek, running my hand along his hair. "Sweet dreams," I whispered, leaning up again and walking towards the door, leaving and shutting it behind me.
"Oh god..." I whispered, staggering back against the door as a migraine exploded through my temples out of nowhere. I pressed the pad of my palm against the side of my head as I blindly stumbled to the kitchen, flicking off the light to ease the pain. I slowly made my way over to the counter, feeling around for my peppermint oil and my migraine medicine, bracing myself as I took two pills dry and rubbed oil on my temples. I fumbled around my apartment, ending eventually on my couch with my head buried deep in a pillow.
"Someone shoot me in the foot..." I groaned, though the noise and effort it took to even whisper the words was enough to cause pain to surge through my body. The harsh pulses weren't slowing yet, and it was getting worse and worse.
I must've passed out from the pain at some point, because I was suddenly jerked out of a rough, restless sleep. For a moment I was confused as to what had woken me, before I heard it again.
"Dammit!" Max's voice yelled out harshly from my guest room. "Addy!"
I threw myself from the couch, launching myself down the hall as the yelling continued. "Adeline!" he screamed, and I didn't even stop as I realized he was calling for his ex girlfriend. "Adeline!" he called again.
I bursted into the room, watching Max's sleeping body tense and arch as he whimpered and cried out. I was by his side in an instant, sitting next to him as I cupped his face in my hand.
"Addy..." he whispered, brokenly. "I'm sorry..."
I shook Max lightly. "Max..." I spoke. "Darling, wake up... It's just a dream, sweet boy. It's just a dream."
Max's brown eyes snapped open, his hand grabbing mine as he gasped for air. His breaths were heavy and slow as tears began to track down his cheeks, forcing himself to sit up against the headboard as he curled into a tight ball.
"Hey..." I whispered soothingly, resting my hand on his knee. He flinched slightly at the contact, before frowning at my hurt expression.
"I'm sorry..." Max murmured, reaching out his hand. "Did I wake you?"
I shrugged a little, letting him take my hand as tears continued to leak down his cheeks. "It's not really relevant," I promised. "Are you okay?"
Max slowly shook his head. "Nightmare," he said quietly, sniffling. "They happen now and again..." he paused. "Was I yelling?"
I nodded a little, scooting a little closer. "What can I do?" I asked. Max slowly slid his sweaty t-shirt off his body, using it to wipe his face.
"What was I screaming?" he asked, ignoring my question. I squeezed his hand, biting my bottom lip.
"Adeline," I spoke. "You were yelling for her, telling her you were sorry."
Max angrily tossed his shirt on the floor. "Dammit," he cursed, burying his face in his hand. "I'm sorry."
I shook my head, leaning forward and leaving a small kiss on his forehead. "Please don't be sorry, darling," I told him. "You can't help nightmares."
Max started crying again, taking deep breaths. The sight of his tears broke my heart, and I wanted nothing more than to soothe him and let him know it was all okay.
"Hey..." I whispered again, crawling to sit beside him. I guided him to lean against me, slipping my arms around his shoulders as his found their way around my waist. His body was racked with rough sobs as he buried his face in my neck, his grip tightening as I began running my fingers through his hair soothingly. We laid like that for a long time, with Max's crying slowly dissipating into soft hiccups and sad little sniffles. His breathing eventually slowed, his body relaxing slowly against mine, leading me to believe he'd fallen into a rough sleep.
I sighed quietly. "Oh, darling..." I whispered. "What happened that's got you so torn up and broken on the inside?" I mused aloud, kissing his forehead. I sighed again, before slowly beginning to extract myself from his arms.
Max whimpered harshly, latching onto me and pressing himself closer. I stopped my movements, listening to his ragged breathing slowly return to normal.
"Please don't go..." I heard him mumble sleepily. I was unable to tell whether he was talking in his sleep or he was consciously asking me to stay...
But I stayed anyway.
* * * * *
This was the second time I'd woken up spooned against Max.
His arms were strong around my waist, his breath easy and sweet in my ear. I felt beyond comforted in his grip, felt the steady rise and fall of his bare chest against my body create this air of ease around me. I smiled slightly, loving in my sleepy state how safe I felt buried under a comforter with Max's arms encasing me gently.
"I probably shouldn't have asked you to stay with me last night," Max's voice startled me, making me jump slightly as he curled closer. "But I was vulnerable and tired and just really hated the idea of letting you out of my arms."
I smiled, resting my hands over Max's on my waist. "It's alright," I promised. "You feeling any better?"
I felt him shrug. "To an extent," he answered. Max sighed. "But I guess I owe you some answers."
I shook my head. "You don't owe me anything, Max," I assured him, but he shook his head right back.
"Yes I do," he said. "I can't just wake you up in the middle of the night, screaming my d-... ex girlfriends name, and expect you not to have any questions."
I bit my lip for a moment, before slowly turning in his arms and looking up at him, tentatively. "Max..." I whispered, resting my palm against his cheek. He tensed for a split second, before relaxing and holding me closer. "Darling you don't owe me anything," I repeated. "Whatever it is that happened is obviously very serious, and I don't want to force you into telling me something you're not comfortable with."
Max frowned deeply, brushing my hair from my face. "That's not fair to you..." he whispered. "You deserve some kind of answer."
I smiled sweetly. "Fairs are for pigs and peach preserves."
Max laughed a little. "What?"
I giggled. "Something my mom used to tell me when her and Dad were together," I told him. "Don't worry about fair so much, Max. Fair doesn't matter if it hurts you in the end."
Max smiled a little, kissing my forehead. "I know now..." he whispered. "I know what enticed me so much that night at the shop..." he shook his head lightly. "And now I feel like maybe I want to tell you. I don't know... Baby I feel so guilty about it, maybe telling you would make me feel more at ease. I feel like maybe it's even crippling me to not tell you."
I turned slightly, guiding Max to lay on his back, resting my chin on his chest. "You can tell me anything, Max," I assured him. Max took a deep breath, playing with my long red hair.
"Promise me something first..." he murmured. "Promise me you won't think any different of me after I tell you."
I smiled. "I promise."
Max slowly nodded, lifting me slightly and shifting. He sat up more against the headboard, bending his legs and guiding me to use them as a back rest, wrapping his arm firmly around my waist. He pulled me close, gently kissing my hair.
"Alright..." he breathed. "Well... It started about two-and-a-half years ago. I met this girl..." Max paused, smiling distantly. "Her name was Adeline. She was almost as beautiful as you."
I blushed slightly, but didn't comment as he looked down at his hands.
"I met her one day in LAX ," he told me. "She was late for a flight, and I was way early to pick someone up, I can't even remember who now... But we were there, and so we started talking, sitting in the lobby of the airport... One thing led to another, and before I knew it we were dating."
Max shook his head at himself. "It was fun the first year," he said. "She lived here in Chicago, by some miraculous miracle, so it was long distance for a while. Then I got the job on the show and had to move out here, and... It seemed like fate at the time. But of course, fate is never that black and white... Nothing ever is."
Max suddenly squeezed my fingers, taking another deep breath. "It got hard," he whispered. "She stopped being the girl I loved being with and turned into someone I couldn't wait to get away from. When she asked me to move in with her, I had to come up with some excuse to say no... Being with Addy started to become more of a chore than anything, but I stayed with her. I don't even know why, thinking back now. She treated me like shit, and with what I know now, I wish I would've seen the signs..."
Max swallowed, tears forming in his eyes. He wouldn't meet my gaze, keeping his stare locked on our intertwined hands. "You can stop if you need to," I assured him softly, reaching my hand up and pulling my fingers through his hair. He looked up at me and gave me this tiny smile, his brown eyes vulnerable as he shook his head, squeezing my hand.
"It's okay," he whispered. "I'm nearly there."
I nodded, leaning up and kissing his cheek. Max slowly closed his eyes.
"Then seven months ago... I was, um, driving her home one night," he whispered. "She was pissed off at me for something I'd said, sitting angrily in the passenger seat. I was apologizing..."
Max's voice trailed off as a tear slid down his face. "I didn't see the car in the lane beside us begin drifting..." he said. "I didn't see the driver come at us head on... And the next thing I remember is waking up in a hospital, with dark bruises all over my torso and a scar that's long faded from my body..."
I let out a quiet gasp, causing Max's eyes to snap open. He gave me a weak smile, shaking his head. "It gets worse," he laughed bitterly. I frowned, letting him wrap me closer and kiss my forehead.
"When I woke up Addy was in critical condition," Max whispered. "It'd been two days since the accident and things didn't look good... I spent three more days by her bedside, holding her hand, before everything went really south."
Max sniffled. "A guy showed up, a guy taller than me, with tears in his eyes. He'd burst into the room spouting and yelling for his girlfriend Adeline..."
I gasped again. Max nodded, holding me closer.
"In addition to treating me like absolute piss, she'd been cheating on me for nearly nine months," he whispered. "Right under my nose... I loved her," Max wiped his tears. "After finding out she cheated on me, I still loved her; the other guy flew into a rage and stormed out, and I've never seen him since..."
Max was silent for a few moments, before sniffling again. "She died that night..." he told me. "She died with me sleeping in a chair not five feet from her. In the end, Adeline died of internal bleeding."
I looked up at this broken boy, seeing him shake his head at himself. "I blame myself," he confessed quietly. "I know I shouldn't," he cut me off. "But I do. I didn't leave my apartment unless I had to for a while. There've been days when the pain and hurt and responsibility was too much too handle, and I didn't do anything but lay in bed and cry or sleep or just lay there staring at the ceiling. I was actually having one of those days when I came into the shop that first night..." Max paused, looking down at me and attempting to smile, biting his lip cutely. "And I found you."
I furrowed my eyebrows. Max just chuckled, wiping his eyes slowly. "I wasn't lying when I told you that the night I came into the shop was the first night I'd genuinely smiled since the accident," he told me slowly. "I felt so guilty about wanting to be with you at first, but Lucas helped me realize that I deserve to move on and be happy... I found you and suddenly this weight I'd been carrying around, the weight of Addy's death, was taken away. Your smile lights up my world in a way that Adeline's never did, and I feel like I won't stop at anything to make you happy, to hear that beautiful laugh, to see those precious green eyes aimed at me," Max paused again, taking my face in his hands. "I adore you, Symphony, and I don't think you realize that I think the absolute world of you, and how hard all of this is to tell you because I don't want you to pity me, and I don't want you to think I'm caught up on Adeline... I just want you to see me, all of me, even the most vulnerable parts, because..." Max swallowed. "I trust you with my vulnerable side..." he finished. "I want you to know that there's nothing of me I don't totally and completely trust you to see, Simmy... I just want you to see me with no facades; nothing but vulnerable, squishy Max-ness."
I sat there for a moment, letting his words all process. As I did, I watched this look of horror cross Max's features, suddenly afraid he'd overwhelmed me; I was quick to assure him otherwise, reaching up and crashing his lips down on mine.
"Max..." I whispered, pulling away. "Look at me."
It took him a moment, but Max slowly met his brown gaze to mine, watching me carefully. He looked so scared, so broken, and all I wanted to do was let him know that everything was okay.
"Max... you're so strong," I whispered, pronouncing each word carefully. "So beyond strong, darling... I wish I could make you see what I see. I know this isn't easy for you to tell me," I spoke. "But I'm so honored you trust me enough to let me into your private little world... It's such a special place, Max, and I'm thrilled your sharing it with me; thank you..."
Max bit his lip. "I just..." he sighed. "I want to assure you that I've moved on," he said, slowly. "A small part of my heart died with Adeline, despite what she did to me; but I want you to know that every other piece of me is yours for the taking..." he promised in a whisper. "I want to feel loved again," he said. "I want to be able to give myself to someone I love with all these broken pieces of myself, to fall for someone in only a matter of weeks like people did before love became this twisted thing it is now..." Max was crying again, holding me close. "And I think that person I need in order to be whole again is you, Symphony, and I think I've already started falling... I know that's crazy, and I don't expect you to feel like that right now, because I know in society today love like this is supposed to take more time, but that doesn't change how I feel... I honestly think it's you."
I felt myself grinning stupidly as my own eyes welled with tears, causing Max to give this tiny laugh as he leaned forward and wiped them away with his thumb. "Oh, baby," he murmured, smiling sweetly, his own cheeks stained from crying. "Don't cry," he whispered, kissing a tear track. "Angels shouldn't cry."
That only caused me to cry harder. Max smiled though, letting me throw myself into his warm arms and hold me close, eventually laying us both back down under the covers and just reveling in each other's embrace.
And I think this is where my falling for Max suddenly became real for me.
* * * * *
Lucas chuckled as he watched me take to my lunch, watching me give a cute giggle. "He's bringing you lunch now?" he teased, nodding towards the door where Max just left after surprising me with Subway for lunch.
I nodded, making Lucas smile gently. "I'm glad he finally told you what was going on," he said. I chuckled.
"I never figured out why he told you first though," I spoke, watching my best friend ring a young couple up at the shop a week or so later. Lucas laughed lightly.
"Well," he spoke. "To be honest, I kind of cornered him," he admitted. "I remembered the wreck being in the papers and stuff back when it happened, and I asked him about it one morning at your apartment."
I slowly nodded, eating my sandwich. "Well okay," I sighed. "I'm just glad he trusts me enough to let me in," I said. "I didn't want to push him; I wanted him to feel comfortable enough to openly tell me."
Lucas grinned. "You're a good kid, you know that?" he laughed, ruffling my hair. I rolled my eyes, smiling sweetly as a familiar young girl came into the shop. It took me a moment to recognize her as the sweet girl who didn't throw her coffee on me that night her bitchy friends came and terrorized me. I smiled gently at her as she approached the counter.
"Hi," she greeted quietly. "Do you recognize me?"
I chuckled a little, nodding. "Yeah," I smiled, leaving it at that. "What can I do for you?"
She pushed her long, dirty-blonde waves from her face, looking at me with big hazel eye. "You can let me apologize," she laughed nervously. "I should've stood up and said something..."
I smiled, shaking my head. "It's not a big deal."
She frowned. "I cut them all out of my life," she confessed, laughing quietly. "They've been like that for a while. I just wanted to apologize and ask if there was anything I could do to make it up to you."
I chuckled, sticking my hand out. "What's your name?" I asked. She smiled a little, taking my hand and shaking.
"Sophie," she said.
I laughed. "Symphony," I introduced. "Or Simmy." I paused gesturing to my very awestruck best friend. "This dork is Lucas," I laughed, watching him snap out of it and sheepishly smile, shaking Sophie's hand. Sophie appeared flustered, making me laugh internally.
"I know what you can do," I smiled. She looked at me and nodded, waiting expectantly. "You can let Lucas buy you dinner sometime."
Sophie smiled a little, blushing and looking down as Lucas's good sense kicked in. "Um..." she sputtered. "Yeah. I can do that."
I watched them exchange numbers, before Sophie looked back at me. "I actually have to be somewhere," she said. "I need to run."
I nodded. "It was nice to officially meet you," I laughed, waving as she moved towards the door. Lucas waved too, and we said goodbye, before she'd disappeared down the street.
"Okay," Lucas spoke. "What was that for?" he asked, grinning. I laughed a little, shrugging.
"You said you wanted substance?" I asked, and he nodded. "She's a great place to start; sweet, darling little personality, and pretty to boot. Plus, I saw her eyeing you."
Lucas chuckled, wrapping me in a hug. "You're fantastic, you know that?"
I laughed, pulling away and winking at him.
"I know."
___________________________________________________
Look at me, not being late.
Party hardy.
No updates this time, because I'm honestly lazy and kind of worried about this chapter.
I like it a lot though.
It's nice to actually like something and feel confident about something I'm putting up XD
Thank god for Tesla, y'all
Alright.
Enjoy, okay?
Bye, darlings :-)
-Casey