( Kristin wish it were that easy . )
I walked down the stairs and I saw reji in one of the chairs drinking his tea , and I saw zack trying to think of something . Oh okay , so it's gonna he like that? I'm totally doomed . Well , I'm going down and I'm gonna have to do this whether I like it or not . So I walked into they're view , but I looked at the floor . I felt they're gaze on me , but I didn't make contact with any of them . I heard zack gasp , but he didn't say anything . Heh , zack didn't think I'd look this bad huh? Well apparently he thought wrong then , cause I do look bad in this hurt state . But what do I've got to lose? Nothing , yeah nothing .
" Kristin if your comfortable sitting , then sit on the couch if you'd like . This may be a while , cause looking at the state that zack is in I don't think he's gonna talk . So we may be here a while . " reji said . " No it's fine reji , I'm better standing up . Besides I don't want to have to call ryan in here and have him help me up . " I said . I saw zack's left foot fidget , it's cause I said ryan's name . " Okay then , we'll let's get things started now shall we? " he asked . I nodded , but zack still didn't say a word . Okay , this may actually be a while .
" You both know that my hands are tied , there's nothing I can do to fix this . Only you two can fix things , and then you can get married if you two like . But in order to do that , matters must be organized . " reji said .
" I know reji , and i'm really grateful that your trying to find something in this matter to help . But I don't know if things can be fixed . " I said .
" That's not true , if you and zack can figure something out then you can fix things . And your welcome , I'm always here to help you kristin . " reji said .
" Zack do you have any input on this? " reji asked him . Zack didn't say anything , he didn't even shake his head . This is the first time I've seen zack quite for so long , back when we were kids he wouldn't shut his mouth . I even taped his mouth shut once , that was funny . I laughed to myself as I remembered that , but this caused reji and zack to look at me in curiosity .
" What's so funny kristin? " reji asked . " It's nothing , I just thought that this is the first time I've seen zack quite for a long time . I remembered back when we were kids he wouldn't shut his mouth , and I remembered that I taped his mouth shut once . " I said as I laughed to myself .
Zack's eyes widen a bit , didn't think I remembered that either did you zack?
Well you thought wrong again , cause I remember almost everything .
" Well getting back to matters , you two still need to fix things . " reji said .
I didn't say anything this time , why does he keep going back to that? I know this is important , but what if zack doesn't want to fix this? What if dream zack was lying this whole time? What if he doesn't feel the same? Well... then I don't know .
Cause I'm not a rocket science here , I may have good grades in school but I only get good grades cause I listen and study . But it doesn't mean I'm smart though , I don't know the answers to life or death . I don't know the answers to love or marriage , I don't know any of these answers . I've still got to figure this all out for myself , but I don't think I'm doing a very good job at it .
" Reji I'm sorry , but I just can't do this . Look I'm tired , so I'm gonna get some rest . Goodnight . " I said . So I rushed back up the stairs , and I walked to my room . I walked in and closed the doors , the room was dark except for the moonlight shining through the windows . I hope reji can forgive me for leaving that , cause he does tend to get angry . Well , I've had a terrible day so I might as well go to bed and hope for a better one tommorow .
So I walked to my bed , layed down and go underneath the covers . Once my head hit the pillow , I fell straight asleep .
* Dream *
I'm in a field of flowers , i'm wearing a pink sundress and my hair is up in a clip . Where am i? " Hello! Anyone here?! Anybody! Hello! " I shouted . Huh , I guess no one's here . Suddenly a light figured appeared , and soon enough the figure turned out to be mom . " Mom . " I said happily . She smiled at me and opened her arms out for me , I ran to her and hugged her tight . She put her arms around me , and I only smiled more .
" I miss you mom . " I said . " I miss you too sweet girl , but remember I'm always with you no matter what . " she said . When we pulled away , I didn't know what to say . " So what's this I'm hearing about you and zack not getting married? " she asked . Oh great , mom knows now . This is just wonderful ( sarcasm ) .
" Well I don't know how to explain it mom , it's mainly zack . He's not... himself these days . He almost killed ryan for something I said , so rui had to handcuff him . " I said . She sighed , and I only slumped my shoulders .
" I knew you'd have some troubles if you ever saw those boys again , but they're great guys believe me . " she said .
" I do believe you mom , they're all great guys . It's just zack isn't quite acting like himself right now , he's not right in the head . " I said . " Neither were you , I remember how you'd wanna go out and play in the stormy weather . I kept thinking I gave birth to to a vampire , but the doctors confirmed that you were human . " she said .
" Well you got that , I know I wasn't right in the head either . But I'm trying my best here , cut me some slack . " I said . She looked at me tenderly , and I knew she was gonna say something encouraging . " Sweetie he's just upset seeing you someone else , he still does care for you . I've seen it , he truly does . But you don't see the answers and truth right in front of you , it's something you've always had trouble with when you were little . " she said .
So dream zack wasn't lying? He does still care for me? But the way reality zack is acting , it makes me think that dream zack was lying to me . Why do I feel so deceived if I wasn't even lied to in the first place? I don't know , I truly don't know . Maybe mom is right . Maybe the answers and the truth I've been seeking has been lying right in front if me this whole time , maybe it has . And I didn't even notice it , I'm so clueless .
" You thinking? " she asked . " Yes , but it's kinda hard . " I said . She smiled at me , and I grinned to the side . " Look sweetie , if you want zack back . Just find a time where it can just be you and him , and talk to him . Tell him how you feel , and then see how he responds . " she said . " But what if I can't do it? " I asked . She grabbed my left shoulder , and brought her other hand to my cheek .
" Sweetie , if your determined to get what you want back then things will always come your way . You just got to stay confident , have faith and hope that things will fall in line the way you want them to be . " she said .
She's right , mom's always right . I've just got to have confidence , faith and hope that things will turn out the way I want them . I've just got to stay determined to get what I want back , my heart calls out for him . I want to be in his arms again , I want to hear his gentle voice again , I want to feel his touch again . I'm not gonna give up this time , I'm gonna get zack back .
I looked at mom , and she looked at me .
I smiled at her with a loving smile , and she smiled back . I hugged her tight , and she did the same . " Thanks mom , I love you and miss you so much . " I said . " I love you and miss you too kristin , and your welcome . And never forget , I'll always be by your side . Now go fix things for me , I want to see you happy again . " she said . " I will fix things for you mom , and I am happy . " I said .