“Your core, lying deep within you, is what makes you what you are. Some call it the soul, the Higher Self, the true self, the being and so on. The name is unimportant once you realize that you are more than your looks and outward appearance.” --Stephen Richards.
~
Autumn stared at the bundle of papers in her hand. Each word typed on every sheet of that bundle was very dear to her. She had spent four years writing that story. She was proud of it. But, not proud enough to have it published. Every time she thought that it came close to being good enough to actually become a book, there would be this nagging feeling in the back of her mind that it wasn’t a great story that would overpower the little amount of instantaneous confidence.
She sighed, momentarily closed her eyes and thought ‘maybe one day’, then quickly put the bundle into a drawer.
“What are you still doing here, Autumn?” Denise questioned her as she walked out of her cabin and peered into Autumn’s cubicle.
“I’m still not done sorting through your manuscripts.”
“There’s a lot, isn’t there?”
“Yes.” She quickly added “Not that I’m complaining!”
Denise grinned at her. “Just take a break would you? You’ve been at this for hours!”
“No, I’m fine, really!”
Denise pulled Autumn’s hand. “Just go for a walk. Five minutes. I’m your boss. You have to do as I say.”
Autumn smiled. “Alright, boss.” She said, grabbed her phone and walked out of the building.
She reached the park which was half a block away and sat down under a tree. She checked her phone.
What she saw overwhelmed her. First she thought the long day was taking a toll on her. She thought she was dreaming. Then she looked again, and again. ‘Nope’, she thought, ‘This is definitely happening.’
She had gained over fifty thousand followers on Twitter.
She clicked on the mentions. ‘That’s a lot’, she thought, surprised.
She knew she shouldn’t read the tweets. She knew she wouldn’t be able to handle any sort of criticism. But, she also knew that she wouldn’t be able take the suspense. She knew she hated being curious about something.
So, she scrolled through the mentions, slowly. Her eyes were wide, focused. They did not blink.
After a few tweets she switched off her phone. Stood up, took a deep breath and began walking back to her office.
When she reached, Denise was still there. “I was just about to leave. I just wanted to remind you that there’s a fundraiser this weekend. This is going to be your first one. Dress classy.” She winked.
Autumn was too distracted to understand anything. She nodded. “Do you think I can finish off all the work tomorrow?”
Denise looked at Autumn. She sensed her distress “I don’t see why not.” She said.
Autumn nodded and gave her a brief, grateful smile. She took her purse and made her way out of the office.
#
The clock showed 10:00 pm.
Scarlett called her roommate. Her phone was switched off.
“Dammit!” Scarlett said, annoyed.
She held one hand on her hip and the other on her forehead, thinking. There was sound throbbing in her temples.
She called again, but this time it was a different number.
“Hello?” Zayn answered the call.
“It’s Scarlett.”
“Yeah, I can read.” He said.
“This is important.” Scarlett said.
The tone of her voice made it clear that she wasn’t in the mood for bickering.
“What’s wrong?” Zayn asked. He knew something was seriously wrong since Scarlett never called him.
“Is Autumn with you?”
Zayn was confused. “No. Why?”
She ignored his question “Have you talked to her today?”
“Briefly, on the phone.”
“Do you know where she is?”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, it’s late and she isn’t home.”
“She might have gone out with friends or something.”
“She would’ve called and told me. Her phone’s switched off.”
Zayn was worried now too. “Where do you think she is?”
“You think I’d have called you if I knew, dumbass?”
He chose to ignore her insult. “Let me think.”
After a few moments of thinking he said “I think I know where she is. I’m on my way there.”
Scarlett let a sigh of relief. “Keep me posted.”
“I will.”
#
Zayn stopped the car and got out. The cool night air hit his face. He looked around. The place looked just as he remembered it. It had been almost a year since he had come here. It was a short cliff overlooking the city. It was Autumn’s favourite place in the city.
He walked forward. He spotted a figure sitting down and looking over at the city. He made his way towards the figure. As he went closer he could see Autumn clearly.
When he was close enough for her to hear, he said “It’s a little late for sight-seeing isn’t it?”
Her shoulders stiffened. “What are you doing here?” she asked turning around swiftly and looking at him.
He was taken aback momentarily. She was crying. He had never seen her crying, although he knew she cried a lot about everything, even the stupidest of things. He recovered quickly, walked and sat down next to her.
“Scarlett would’ve killed me if I couldn’t find you.”
“She worries a lot.” Autumn said defending her.
He nodded and muttered something along the lines of plain crazy.
Then he asked “What’s wrong? Why are you crying?”
After hearing those words, Autumn seemed to realise that she hadn’t wiped her eyes. She quickly ran her palm over her cheeks.
“I can’t do it, Zayn.”
“Can’t do what?”
“The Paparazzi. The online hate. I can’t handle it.”
He sighed. “I’m sorry. It’s all my fault.”
“No it isn’t. You didn’t do anything purposely.”
He thought about what he has to say for a few moments, then said,
“I’ve told you before, Autumn. Never take anything they say online seriously. Just because a bunch of crazy fans say something, doesn’t make it true.”
“But, it is true, Zayn!” she snapped. Tears came out of her eyes.
“No it’s not!” he replied firmly.
“You don’t even know what they said!”
“It doesn’t matter! I know it’s all bullshit.”
“Really? You think so? You think I’m pretty? You think I’m not fat? You think I come remotely close to being good enough to be your friend? No! Every damn tweet is true.”
“No. It’s not.”
She scoffed.
He began explaining. “I am who I am because of a bunch of people. You’re one of those. You know I was losing my way. The fame was getting to me. The hate was getting to me. You helped me through it. You’re the reason I’m Zayn Malik from One Direction today. You’re really important to me. You’re….family.”
She looked at him. She laughed.
‘What?” he asked, smiling.
“That was awfully sentimental of you.”
“Anything to make you laugh.” He said.
Then they sat there in silence. It was the most comfortable silence either had ever been through.
Then Autumn called out “Zayn”
“Yeah?”
“Did you mean all that?”
“Of course, I did!”
She gave a sad smile.
“I need to stop being this sensitive about everything.”
He considered her words for a moment. He scooted closer. Their knees were touching now. He put his arm around her. It was pretty awkward for the first few seconds, but then she placed her head on his shoulder. It was one of those rare hugs that they shared.
She didn’t think she could ever be comforted by any sort of physical affection but she was already feeling better. She sniffed and wiped her tears again. She stopped crying.
“Savour this moment, Autumn.”
“Why?”
“I’m not going to let you hug me again.” He joked.
She laughed. “That’s a relief.”
They stayed like that for a few more minutes after which Zayn said “Are you okay now?”
“Yeah.” She replied truthfully.
“Then we should let Scarlett know.”
“She’s going to yell at me.” Autumn said.
“I can’t help you with that!” he said quickly.
“I figured. She scares the living hell out of you.”
“Kind of.” He muttered.
She laughed again. “That’s cute.”
He looked at her expressionless.
“Did you just call me cute?” he asked, with an overwrought shocked expression.
“No.” she said, taken aback. “I called you a wuss.”
He glared at her.
“Let’s go. You need to work tomorrow.” He said.
“Okay.” She said, smirking.
#
Scarlett was sitting on the windowsill enjoying the fresh breeze from the open window, waiting for Autumn.
The phone call had calmed her down. She was glad Autumn was safe.
Scarlett watched from the window as Autumn and Zayn got out of the car.
Autumn seemed okay, which was a good sign.
Both of them were smiling. Then Zayn said something which Autumn seemed to think was funny. She laughed.
Scarlett smiled at the scene. If only they had the sense to see how perfect they are for each other, she thought. Morons all around me.
She opened the door and waited.
Autumn eventually walked in. “Hey.” She greeted.
Scarlett didn’t respond. Autumn paused, looked at her and said “Okay. I’m ready. Let the yelling begin.”
Scarlett sighed. “I’m not going to yell at you.”
“You’re not?” Autumn seemed genuinely surprised.
“No. You don’t have to tell me what you’re doing with your life. But a text saying I’m okay would be helpful.”
“I know.” Autumn said, “I’m sorry.”
“Forget it.” She changed the topic “How was the client?”
“Good.”
“What’s his name?”
“Nathan Campbell.”
Scarlett’s eyes widened “I’ve read his book! He’s great!”
“Yeah.” Autumn agreed.
Then Scarlett asked “Is he cute?”
“What?!” Autumn hadn’t thought about that. “I guess.” She said after a moment’s hesitation.
“So, there’s a chance that dress wasn’t a complete waste.”
“Meaning?”
“You could sleep with him….in the near future.”
Autumn narrowed her eyes. “No.” she stated, bitterly.
Scarlett held her hands up in defence.
“I’m going to sleep now.” Autumn said, yawning.
Scarlett smiled before going back into her own room.
~