it's christmas, and I was just in good spirits so i wrote the next chapter... =]
hope yah liek it... i made rebecca a bit... slow, so you guys could understand why i made the choice i did....
dedicated to - impossible
for commenting and making interesting and thoughtful comments
i'd like to mention MamikaBonita who noticed that I had broadcasted that chapter 12 had been up [earlier this week] when it really hadn't.
i sincerely apologize to those who got utterly confused.
in the future, if I make mistakes.. LET ME KNOW!!!!!!!
btw, did you all get the message I broadcasted to fans? [do you honestly get them and read them?]
if you didnt... IM ON PAGE THREE OF THE WHAT'S HOT LIST!!!!!!
thats right, you read right. effing Page three.
Fourty third place!! [I'm so cool, I actually counted]
so, please vote [if you haven't] for all chapters to get me higher on the list. [i have 75 fans. Why don't I have 75 votes per chapter?!? Im utterly confuzzled as to whyyy]
thanks so much!!!
xx
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(the next day, Friday)
'So, you're dating Sam now?' asked Rebecca as we walked to class.
'Yep.'
'So how'd Max take it?' she asked slowly, testing the waters.
'It's a long story,' I said, running a hand through my hair. 'I think it's going to be awkward at first, but we'll slip back into being the same.'
Rebecca gave me a half-hearted smile, but I could sense the doubt radiating from her attitude. I wasn't angry, just tired. She couldn't understand why I had chosen Sam, the guy who had been a jerk to me since Day 1, when Max had always been there for me and had practically stated his love for me. I don't know why I had chosen Sam, but my gut instinct told me that I would be far happier being with Sam than I would with Max. I had tried to explain to Rebecca that Max and I would end up to be those couples that have affection for each other but not true love. We would stay together because it would be so familiar being with one another that we couldn't bear to break up to try relationships with other people. We'd get married and do the whole family thing, but there wouldn't be passion and fireworks and bells ringing and rockets firing up. She still didn't understand.
Imagine it like this. [a/n I believe in true love and soul mates, the works. I've seen true love and I know it exists out there. Here's hoping every one of you finds that perfect someone] Every person is a unique person who's shaped differently, like a really advanced puzzle piece shape or the edge of a key. People go through their lives looking for their perfect other half to fit their uniqueness. Max and I would be shaped similarly in comparison to each other, not a perfect fit but close. I would be happy, but I didn't want to regret and have 'What if's?'
'Now do you get it?' I asked Rebecca, who had been nodding encouragingly and muttered words of acknowledgement.
'Yeah yeah, totally. So we still on for shopping this evening?'
I felt my spirits slightly drop at the prospect of the horrors of shopping, but I nodded.
'Great! I'll see you at lunch!' She bounced down the hallway. I stepped into home room and was hit with another decision. Did I sit with Sam, my new boyfriend, or Max, my rejected suitor and best friend? And the fact they both had genuine smiles on their faces didn't help. I walked over to Sam and smiled.
'Morning Jack,' he said, giving me a light kiss on the lips. 'Nice to see you.'
'Ditto.'
I just stood there looking at him, staring at his face.
'Are you just going to stand there and gawk at my beauty?'
'Sam, I know we've just become a couple but I need to do some damage inspection first.'
'Huh?'
'Can I sit with Max to make sure he doesn't break down or whatever?'
Sam only gave me a smile.
'Of course you can babe. But thank you for asking.'
Man, he must feel guilty! I should play the guilt card more often to make him nice and bend to my will.
I just kissed him on the lips again before sliding into the seat next to Max. I had been watching his face when I strode down the aisle, and I hadn't missed the look of pain on his face as I kissed Sam.
'Morning,' he said, the pained look disappearing under a facade of ease and nonchalance.
'Morning to you too.'
I started some random conversation to avoid any silences and he responded accordingly. We didn't talk about relationships, our friendship or Sam. Needless to say, it was awkward, a first for a conversation between Max and me. The bell rang (finally!) and I hurried out of homeroom. The first waves of unease began to wash over me as I contemplated the state of our relationship. Even after yesterday's confession, I still felt a large amount of guilt despite his constant reassurance that it wasn't my fault. Max understood my belief of true love and perfect-fit-togetherness and acknowledged that we weren't soul mates if I didn't feel the pull. The next couple of classes draggeeedddd on by, and the relief flooded me when it was time for lunch. I couldn't stop thinking about the decision I made. Yes, it was final and nothing do be done about it.
You made the bed, you've got to sleep in it, chided my mind.
The scent of pasta and garlic bread revived me as I walked into the cafeteria and immediately got in line. I hummed, trying not to think about my ongoing Sam/Max dilemma when Max suddenly appeared behind me.
'Hello, Jacqueline,' he boomed, evidently in good spirits.
'Don't call me that,' I moaned, grabbing a plate from the lunch lady. 'You know how I hate it when you do that.'
'Whatever you say madam,' he replied with a bow. I couldn't help it. I laughed. To be honest, it wasn't that funny, but all that anxiety was making me slightly hysterical but seeing Max being happy, not droopy was lifting my mood ever so slightly.
We got out delicious smelling food and were walking to the table when someone called out,
'Where you going?'
It was Sam. Shit! He was sitting at the popular table, eating lunch with them. Why hadn't this occurred to me? He had made friends with the 'hot' guys and 'hot' girls of the school (football players and cheerleaders) and ate lunch with them. The instance where we had lunch (sort of) together had been kind of a fluke, but I forgot he ate food with people. What? I had a lot of my mind!
'Come sit with us!' called Sam again. He was attracting the attention of a bunch of people and they were turning around to stare. Either I walked with Max and had lunch with my friends, or picked my boyfriend over my friends to eat with his friends. I knew that Sam wouldn't eat with my friends because of all the tension at the table. Everyone would feel sympathy towards the rejected Max, and could be inadvertently (or purposely) be rude or mean to him. I was beginning to blush and get flustered and was thinking of just high-tailing it out of there, but Max threw me a safety line.
'Go eat lunch with them. I don't mind,' he said softly, giving me a smile. 'I'll survive.'
'You sure?'
'Absolutely.'
Wow, both guys were being so... nice! A girl could get used to that. I cautiously made my way to Sam's table where the massive guys were shovelling food into their gullets while still looking oddly god-like. The girls were picking at their bland, boring health food while sipping low calorie, low sugar, low everything drinks. Sam was still looking at me and patted the empty seat next to him. I sat down carefully and put my tray down. Everyone snapped their heads up to look at me.
'This everybody, is Jack.'
A round of 'hi, Jack' were muttered from the burly guys while the girls eyed me suspiciously. This was trauma-inducing, let me tell you that. Nicole was sitting a couple of chairs down, throwing me nasty looks over her meagre portion of rabbit food.
'What a slut,' she muttered, loud enough for me to hear.
'And a pig!' said one of her cronies. 'She's eating like a shitload of carbs. Pasta and bread? No wonder her ass looks likes a truck!'
I gritted my teeth. I could take the criticism at the expense of myself for a short while at least. Then Sam couldn't blame me for not trying.
Sam didn't hear that insult as he was having a conversation with some guy. I gritted my teeth and poked at my food. It was congealing but I suddenly had lost my appetite. They were gossiping about some celebrity news and slammed a couple of less popular/pretty/rich students at our school. (They as in the girls. The guys were chatting about some sports that I had no interest in taking part in) I heard a couple of put-downs about myself but I mastered enough self-control to keep from stabbing Nicole with my deadly fork. I took it out on my noodles. I mastered a few bites, not saying anything until I felt that I couldn't stand it anymore. I had to leave before I shot myself, or the rest of the table. This is why I didn't hang out with populars. They were so, shallow, self-absorbed, and stupid. I got up and took my tray in hands and was going to walk away when I heard Nicole whisper (loudly)
'Thank god! Jack is such a freak. I cannot believe she's actually dating Sam. I dated that loser! Thank god I dumped him at the dance. What he sees in her, I can't tell. Probably just in it to get laid.'
The entire girl portion of the table started to cackle. Sam, luckily or unluckily?, had heard this and thunderclouds crossed his face. He was probably working up something to say but I had even a better idea.
'Nicole, if I wanted your opinions, I'd ask you. But as you can clearly see, I don't, so keep your mouth shut and use it for more useful things. I'm sure you could find more things to do with your mouth than I care to know with guys who have sexual dissatisfaction.' My words came out short and clipped as I tried to keep the fury under control.
Her mouth dropped open. I don't think she expected me to say anything against her. Her lips pressed together several times like she was trying to find some snappy comeback but was failing.
'Take that back you bitch!' she screamed, eyes livid.
'Nope.'
'Take it back right now!'
'Did the words I just say no get through that thick scull of yours? Nope.'
'F*ck you!'
I grinned. 'No thanks. I have a boyfriend, but I hear the swim team would love to take you up on that offer.'
She lunged for me. I was expecting that move from her because she definitely couldn't match me for wit so I just turned me tray 90 degrees away from me. She ran right into my falling tomato pasta plate. She looked up, I could see she had food smeared all over her pristine clothing. My entire tray fell to her feet so she was standing in a heap of pasta.
'You might want to get that outfit dry-cleaned. Tomato sauce stains.' I just left her there with the entire cafeteria watching.
***