The Gangleader Kidnapped Me |...

By whiskeyroses

14.1M 614K 375K

"You're an asshole," I blurted. "You're such an asshole that your actual asshole is jealous." Silence. What... More

The Gangleader Kidnapped Me
Chapter One.) Wanna See Me Twerk?
Chapter Two.) Ariana Grande Trying To Get Freaky With Zombies Or What?
Chapter Three.) Can We Keep Her? Huh, huh, huh?
Chapter Four.) Who Runs The World? Cows
Chapter Five.) Goddammit Ethan
Chapter Six.) My Heroes
Chapter Seven.) I Can't Help It...I've Always Wanted A Cow
Chapter Eight.) Sir Moocelot
Chapter Nine.) Big, Red Button
Chapter Ten.) Why Would You Make A Self-Destruct Button?!
Chapter Eleven.) I'm Frickin' Adorable
Q & SLAY
Chapter Tweleve.) Dr. Breasticles
Chapter Thirteen.) Special
Chapter Fourteen.) Look At My Boo Boo
Chapter Fifteen.) Ya Nasty
Chapter Sixteen.) Damn, Vanessa. Back At It Again With The Awkwardness
Chapter Seventeen.) The Deadly Stapler
Chapter Eighteen.) Are They Having...You Know...Naughty Naughty?
Chapter Nineteen.) Watch Out, Ms. Potato Head
Chapter Twenty.) Potato Costume
Chapter Twenty One.) You Should Be A Therapist, Ethan
Chapter Twenty Two.) Knock Knock
Chapter Twenty Three.) What Would You Do If I Licked Your Abs?
Chapter Twenty Four.) BABY, TAKE ME BACK!
Chapter Twenty Five.) I Ship It
Chapter Twenty Six.) Still A Better Love Story Than Twilight
Chapter Twenty Seven.) I Thought We Were Forever *CRIES*
Chapter Twenty Eight.) Nobody Nose
Chapter Twenty Nine.) Is There All There Is To Life?
Chapter Thirty.) I Mean I Could, But Why Would I Want To?
Chapter Thirty One.) My Boobs Are Buzzing!
Chapter Thirty Two.) I'm A Ninja
Chapter Thirty Four.) Ethan's Butt
Chapter Thirty Five.) Are You Friends With A Ninja?
Chapter Thirty Six.) Nice Butt, Mate
Chapter Thirty Seven.) Horny In Chicago
Chapter Thirty Eight.) Damn, You Readers
Chapter Thirty Nine.) Can I Have Ashton Irwin?
Chapter Forty.) Everything Is Not What It Seems
Chapter Forty One.) Why Did I Sign Up For This?
Chapter Forty Two.) The Cow And The Pig
Epilogue
NOW READY FOR PURCHASE
BONUS CHAPTER - THE FARM part 1
BONUS CHAPTER - THE FARM PART 2
BONUS CHAPTER - THE FARM PART 3
How The Gang Met Ethan - Bonus
TGKM SPECIAL EDITION REWRITE - 10 YEAR ANNIVERSARY

Chapter Thirty Three.) I'm Not A Hoe

146K 8.2K 1.1K
By whiskeyroses

So much has happened in so little time.

I get kidnapped.

I try to escape three times and have a ninja catch me everytime.

I get a stuffed cow.

I press a red button.

I press a self-destruct button.

I- I wipe under my eyes. I lost my stuffed cow. RIP Sir Moocelot.

I go to Spain.

I have weird adventures with my boobs. Don't know why I worded it like that but whatever.

I get drugged by brownies.

I train to be a spy.

I flash a gang leader.

I kiss a gang leader.

I have a water gun fight with the gang.

I cause a fight between the gang leader and his best friend which is stupid because bros over hoes.

I'm not a hoe though.

I start shipping the gang leader and the best friend.

I get kidnapped...again.

I hear a ninja speak for the first time in his life.

And now, I'm standing in a room with the gang leader pointing his gun at his father, who's pointing his gun at me. And I wonder...

This doesn't happen in real life, and yet somehow...

It has happened in mine.

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