I STARED AT MYSELF IN the bathroom mirror and exhaled slowly. My fingers ran along my burgundy dress that stopped a little before my knees. I wiggled my bare toes as I wondered which pair of shoes I was going to wear. My lips matched the color of my dress and my hair decided to cooperate with me. I had managed to straighten it and it laid against my shoulders and the back of my neck. Eyeliner covered my eyelids and I was proud of the wings. For someone who had less than an hour to get ready, I looked like a pretty good specimen.
A crusty caterpillar that had finally turned into a beautiful butterfly.
After going through multiple pairs of shoes, I decided to go with my black pumps. I slid my feet into them and walked around a bit, making sure I was not going to fall over and break my neck. I kind of needed it. My black purse sat on my bed and I picked it up, leaving my room completely and heading for the kitchen table. Not having a single clue where we were going, I made sure I had everything I needed. I switched purses as soon as I got home and I was shocked when I realized I had everything. I honestly thought I would have forgotten my wallet.
Not today, Sydney.
I clutched my purse close to my side and walked out of the house, locking the door behind me. My heels clicked against the pavement as I made my way to my car. I got in without a single problem and took my heels off, tossing them on the passenger's seat along with my purse. I backed out of the driveway and took off. I was somewhat ready for tonight, even though I had no idea what was going to happen. Jillian was really sweet back at the herb shop and I somehow managed to hate her a little less. I still hated her, but not as much. I bit my bottom lip as I wondered if Greysen would be there. If he did not go, I would be alone with Jillian and Harry. If he did go, however, I would have someone to talk to.
Or yell at, since I was still mad at him for ditching me on the side of the road.
I tapped my fingers anxiously against the steering wheel and smiled when the upcoming red light turned green. I sped up a little bit, my smile widening and my heart leaping with joy. I was actually looking forward to having fun tonight. I needed to let loose and not be so uptight. I was only young for a certain amount of time and I did not want to waste it. I did not want to look back at my younger years when I was older and regret not having fun. I was not going to let my older self down.
Three cars sat in Harry's driveway when I arrived: his, Jillian's and Greysen's. I parked right behind Greysen's, trying my best not to block Harry's or Jillian's vehicle in. I turned the engine off and grabbed my belongings from the passenger's seat. My bare feet met the pavement and I refused to put my shoes back on until we met our unknown destination. Only God knew where we were going and he was not giving me any signs of where that might be. He wanted it to be a surprise, too. My breath hitched in my throat as I knocked on the door a couple times. I was still unable to breathe as I waited for someone to answer the door. If they found me passed out on the front porch, no worries, it would be fine. The door opened and Greysen looked me up and down.
Oxygen never felt so good.
"You look nice," he said, looking away from me.
"Thanks," I managed to smile as I took in his black bottoms and shoes with a white button down shirt. The top two buttons were unbuttoned and I was tempted to button one for him. "You do, too."
He nodded his head and stepped to the side, letting me enter. I walked inside of the house and the wooden floor was much colder than I remembered. Greysen closed the door and I turned around to face him.
"So, where are—" I started.
"Are we good?"
"I'm good. You're good. We're all good. Just a group of good people."
"That's not what I meant, Sydney."
I sighed, "Look, I'm sorry for being a brat in the car, okay? You know, I'm stressed out about looking for this second job. Accusing me of having feelings for someone I do not have feelings for is not cool, Greysen. These little confrontations of yours need to come to an end. Maybe then we'll be good."
"I'm sorry," he apologized. "I shouldn't have left you on the side of the road like I did. Did you make it home all right?"
"I'm alive, am I not?"
"No problems, then?"
"No problems. My blisters—"
He smacked his forehead, "Shit, I'm sorry, okay? I wasn't thinking when I pulled over. I wasn't supposed to pull over, was I? You were telling me to but I wasn't supposed to listen, right?"
"Well, I mean, I was yelling at you."
"That's no excuse. Anything could have happened. I'm just glad it was blisters and nothing else."
I glanced down at my somewhat sore feet, "Yeah, me too. I soaked these bad boys for hours."
Greysen smiled, "Come on, then. They're waiting for us in the kitchen."
I followed Greysen down the hall and my hair bounced against the back of my neck, tickling me slightly. I noticed how he shoved his hands in the pockets of his pants and when we entered the kitchen, he joined the others at the table. There was a bottle of tequila and three shot glasses and Jillian was drinking out of one. Greysen poured himself a glass and threw his head back, downing the liquid before slamming the glass back on the table. My eyes widened a bit. If I had known we were just going to be lounging about with alcohol, I would have came in my work clothes.
Harry stood in the corner of the room with his eyes glued to his phone. The third shot glass was empty and it looked as if no one had poured anything into it. His fingers moved quickly across the screen and he looked so determined. This reminded me of when he text me after the kiss...the text messages I never once bothered to read. Maybe if I got drunk enough tonight, I would bury myself in bed and read them like a bedtime story.
Sounded like a decent plan.
"Sydney!" Jillian exclaimed and Harry looked up from his phone. "You look gorgeous!"
"Thanks, I—"
"I like this dress better than the other one you wore," Greysen pointed out, nodding his head in approval.
Harry shot his friend a look of confusion and I shrugged my shoulders as I joined them at the table. Jillian grabbed the bottle of tequila and poured some into the empty shot glass. She then pushed it in my direction and I raised my eyebrows, causing her to laugh. Her eyes squinted just a tad bit and the red lipstick on her lips made her teeth look whiter than usual. I picked up the shot glass without hesitation and downed it like Greysen had done; however, I carefully placed the glass back on the table. I did not want to start the night out with breaking Harry's dishes.
"Are you sure you don't want a shot, Harry?"
He shook his head, "Someone has to be able to drive us there and back."
"Where are we going?" I asked, looking at everyone. They all shrugged, even Harry. "Oh, come on. This 'It's a Secret' game is getting too old." Still, no one acknowledged my question. "Are you trying to get me drunk so you can kill me in the woods? Because let me tell you something. That isn't cool or right."
"No one in this house wants to kill you," Jillian laughed and Harry raised his eyebrows, matching mine.
"Why are we drinking now if we're going out?" I wondered, taking the conversation in a new direction.
"We're saving money," Greysen replied.
"So, what you're saying is, we're going to a—"
"Hush!" Jillian nearly spilled her tequila on her black dress. "Greysen if you spoil it for her, I will personally shove my foot up your ass."
"Savage," he muttered.
"I'm going to get the car started," Harry cleared his throat and walked out of the kitchen.
I grabbed the tequila bottle and poured myself some more. I drank it quickly and Greysen snatched the bottle from me, pouring some into his own glass. Jillian then snatched it from him and refilled her own glass. I realized we were all taking turns with the bottle. Jillian offered it to me and I shook my head. She handed it to Greysen and once he grabbed the bottle, he stood up from the table and took it to the fridge. Jillian watched him carefully and shrugged it off like it was nothing. There was no point in being drunk before even leaving the house. I stood up from the table and smoothed down my dress before making my way outside.
Harry was standing in front of Jillian's car and he was looking up at the dark sky. I looked up, too, to see the stars. I smiled to myself and joined Harry. He looked down at me for a brief second before looking back up at the sky. I wrapped my arms around myself and I watched him with curious eyes. His Adam's apple moved quite a bit as he swallowed and I wondered why he was acting a bit distant. He was the one who said he did not want our friendship to die. I brushed my shoulder against his and he looked down at me with an eyebrow raised.
"Knock knock," I smirked.
His lips curled upward into a smile, "What are you doing, Doll?"
"Hmm, you haven't called me that in a while," I said, taking this into consideration. "But that isn't what you're supposed to say. Try again."
"Who's there?"
"Dozen," I said with a smile.
"This better not be stupid or I'm not letting you in the car."
"It isn't even your car," I snorted. "Now, stop trying to avoid my joke. You're going to love it."
"Dozen...who?"
I groaned with frustration and threw myself against the hood of Jillian's car, "Dozen anyone want to tell me where we're going?"
"That...was stupid and because of the stupidity of your joke, you're not allowed to go to the club with us."
"Ah, so we're going to a club?"
Harry's eyes widened as he realized he just told me where we were going. I raised my hand for a possible high-five but he playfully shoved me away, looking back up at the stars. My smile refused to disappear as I turned my attention to the sky, too. The moon was partially out—part of it hidden by the dark clouds. I moved some of my hair out of my face and wondered how something could look so beautiful. Staring at the night sky was never something I would do voluntarily. Now, though, I wanted to do this every night for the rest of my life.
The front door opened and out came Jillian and Greysen. Jillian had my purse and shoes, making me realize I had left them inside. She waved in our direction and I waved back. I looked over my shoulder to see Harry's eyes still on the night sky. I moved away from the car to retrieve my items and Jillian went to go get in the car. Harry had moved to the driver's seat and Jillian went to the passenger's side. I frowned, realizing I was going to have to sit in the back with Greysen. I tilted my head back a bit to look at him and he was smiling. I hit his arm and turned around to go get in the car.
Being in the backseat with Greysen was not bad like how I thought it would be. I tried my best to look engaged but it was hard. He occasionally talked about working for his father, explaining what he did and how he did it. When he paused, I asked him questions and when he started answering them, my mind went elsewhere.
Jillian and Harry were laughing in the front and each time they laughed, my body cringed. I knew the heartache and pain was not going to go away so soon but tonight was going to be a rough one. We were going to a club and a club meant dancing. I could not imagine the two of them dancing together. The thought of them doing so made my skin crawl. Harry reached for Jillian's hand and he squeezed it. I did not like it one bit. I hated the way she looked at him and I hated the way she looked at him. I frowned, knowing nothing has changed between Harry and I. Because of that, we were going to continue with the way things had always been.
As friends.
We would still joke around together. He would say something stupid and so would I. We would still interact the same way we always had, so his relationship with Jillian should not have affected me the way it was. Deep in my heart, I knew I did not want anything serious with him. I could not have a serious relationship with him. It was not safe. He truly loved Jillian and it was obvious she felt the same way about him. I wanted something like that but I knew it was not going to be with Harry. Someone else would make me happy and I would find a way to make their life whole.
God, I was so depressing.
I hated Elijah.
I hated Alexander.
I hated Tyler.
I hated Dylan.
I hated them all for making my life this way.
"Hey," Greysen said from beside me. "Are you crying?"
"No," I turned my head toward the window.
"Yeah, you are. I can see the tears."
"I am not."
"Whatever you say, Sydney," he sighed. "You should be positive, yeah? Tonight is going to be loads of fun and maybe you can find someone who will get your mind off of everything. I know this job hunting thing is stressing the hell out of you and I'm assuming that's why you're crying. You'll find someone who will rock your world, or night, depending on the situation."
I laughed and hit him again.
"I would volunteer to do the job myself but I have my own goals for the night, if you know what I mean."
I laughed again and when I looked forward, Harry's eyes were looking back at me through the rear view mirror. My heart nearly stopped at the sight. His jaw was firm and when he noticed me looking, he quickly looked back at the road.
We pulled into a parking lot of a club and I sat on the edge of my seat to get a better look. I had never been here before and my heart was beating eagerly. Greysen took off his seat belt and got out of the car before anyone else had the chance to. I unbuckled myself from the seat and the car door suddenly opened. Greysen offered me his hand and I took it with a smile. He helped me out of the vehicle and I slid my feet into my heels and held my purse close to me. His arm wrapped around me and I wrapped mine around him as we walked towards the entrance.
The door was opened for us and we all walked inside. The music was extremely loud and I could barely hear myself think. Greysen shook me slightly and when I looked at him, he was pointing a finger upward. I looked up to see a second floor and nodded my head, letting him lead the way. There were multiple chairs and tables. Greysen and I made ourselves comfortable at one while Harry and Jillian slipped away to possibly dance or have a couple drinks together.
• • •
"My feet hurt," I said after two hours of dancing and socializing with people while standing.
"That's impossible," Greysen shook his head. "I haven't had my turn to dance with you, yet!"
I frowned, shaking my head, "I think the blisters are coming back, man."
Greysen scratched his head and eyed me suspiciously. He was drunk and even though we had tried dancing together a couple times, it just did not work out. He stepped on my feet more times than he complimented my breasts. I was not in the mood to have my feet go through anymore torture. I placed my elbows on the table and cupped my chin in my hands.
"I'm sure you can find yourself a nice dance partner."
Jillian stopped talking to Harry from the table next to us and smiled at Greysen, "I'll dance with you, pretty boy."
He shook his head, "I'm good. I want Syd—"
"Come on," she stood up, leaving Harry all alone at his table. "Let's go show those rookies how to really dance, yeah?"
She took his hand, helping him up from his seat, and they walked back downstairs to the first floor to dance. I glanced down at the table in disbelief. They had left me alone with Harry and I had no idea how to feel about it. My mind was racing. I looked over at him and he was staring at the wall, probably wondering why his girlfriend left him to go dance with Greysen. I hated being alone with Harry but I liked it at the same time. I was corrupted. I decided now was the perfect time to bail and I cleared my throat.
"Hey, I'm going to—"
Harry suddenly stood up from his chair and pushed it back underneath the table. I tilted my head to the side as he moved to the table I was sitting at. He pulled out a chair and made himself comfortable. My lips parted as he stared at me, his green eyes pulling me into an enchanted evergreen forest.