FOOLS - Troye Sivan
Fall Away - Twenty one pilots
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I stare at the mirror as I straighten my dress, I can do this. I grab my purse before locking my apartment behind me. Last night after Kyle left, I quickly proceeded to drink almost an entire bottle of wine. I turned on Grey's Anatomy and ended up falling asleep while watching all of season 4. So this morning has already been a headache filled morning. I can only imagine it getting worse.
As I come into view of the Prime Minister's office, a feel my heart beat quicken and a pain in my chest. I can do this. I remind myself. He didn't care so why should you care? I enter the building and head directly to The Hub to put my stuff up. When I enter I see no one else but Kyle...and he sees me. I try to avoid him but he notices me before I can get out.
"Hey! Eliza!" Kyle approaches me as I begin to make myself and Telford coffee.
"Hey Kyle!" I try to act kind and not bothered (my southern belle is showing).
"So, last night..." Kyle puts his hands in his pockets and looks down. "I had a lot of fun."
"Me too." I softly smile at him, telling him the truth. Of course it was fun, it was sex. That is always fun no matter what mood you're in.
"Um, I was actually wondering if we could maybe get coffee sometime this week?" Kyle asks as I add the last of the creamer to the coffee.
I feel my face turn red with embarrassment. It was a one night stand. I think to myself. But my inability to say no gets the best of me as I reply, "Let me check my schedule and then I'll get back to you!" I smile and say goodbye before heading up to the offices. As I enter Telford's office, her eyes give me a stern, yet sympathetic look.
"Surprised to see you in here today." Telford confesses as I hand her the coffee.
"What do you mean?" Does she know? I laugh a little, trying to cover up my shaky voice as I notice Justin's office door wide open. There he is, working tirelessly. My heart breaks all over again as I see him. His light blue collared shirt's sleeves rolled up to his elbows as he works on a bill. I feel a lump form in my throat and my eyesight go a little blurry.
"Eliza, are you okay?" Telford raises an eyebrow. She looks in the direction I'm looking and notices the door open. She quickly gets up and begins to close it. Just as it closes, Justin looks up and our eyes meet. My heart drops to my feet.
I blink away the tears quickly, "Yes ma'am. Just allergies..."
Telford nods, "Okay, well today we are going to Parliament Hill with Justin to announce a bill proposal."
I nod, "Um, how long should that take?"
"About an hour, after that you have a meeting that you have sit in with us." Telford informs me as she reads her calendar.
You've gotta be fucking kidding me. I always end up by Justin in those meetings.
"Sounds great!" I smile.
"Will you run this to the Director of Communications's office?" Telford hands me a stack of files.
"Yes." I reply quickly as I feel a pang in my chest as I think about my first encounter with Justin today. Just Breathe.
----
"So with that I thank you for your time and I look forward to discussing this farther with you later tomorrow!" Justin smiles as he makes his exit. I, unfortunately, am the one in charge of getting him to the next meeting. As Justin walks out of the applauding room, we make eye contact and I see his face tense up as well as his body.
"Justin." I nod as his eyes look broken.
"Eliza." Justin says quietly. His mouth opens as if he wants to say something to me, I don't give him the chance knowing it would only break my heart even more.
"You have a meeting in about," I glance at my watch, "10 minutes. So, I'm in charge of getting you there."
"Sounds good." Justin smiles at the reporters waiting outside the Hill. The two of us walk inches apart, yet in complete utter silence. Something I am not accustomed to with Justin.
"I have your notes, I gathered them from your office." I hand him the papers coldly.
His eyes show a little bit of pain as I reply in the freezing tone. He takes the stack a papers without a word. As we walk, you can practically see the tension between the two of us, and it isn't the tension that normally is between us. We walk into the room to meet Telford.
"Man, you two look like y'all could kill each other." Telford points out.
I stare daggers at her for a moment, Thanks for pointing that out. "Long day." I reply.
----
As we arrive back to the office I see Kyle sitting in the Hub. I glance behind me and notice Justin eyeing my sadly. I smirk on this inside, Fuck you, Justin.
"You know Kyle, I think I will take you up on that coffee date." I wink at him as I make my way back to the office.
"Oh, okay cool! I'll text you later then." Kyle calls after me.
As I turn around to nod to Kyle I see Justin genuinely confused and slightly hurt as he hears the conversation between Kyle and me.
----
I pull off my heels as I finally get home from the office. I instantly begin to cry. Why would I do that to Justin? Why would I want to hurt him? I don't want to hurt him. Do I? I remember my stunt with Kyle. No, I don't want to hurt him! Why would I do that? I hate feeling like this, like I can't control my actions. Like no matter what my brain says to do, my heart seems to be controlling everything. I quickly grab a bottle of wine and open a pack of cigarettes and open a window. Hopefully the alcohol will absorb all the tears. As I wipe my tears I scroll through instagram and see one thing I did not need to see today.
"So glad she let me marry her, Happy birthday Sophie. I love you!//Je suis tellement content elle m'a laissé épouser , joyeux anniversaire Sophie . Je t'aime!"
Wow, perfect timing on everything Justin. The tears begin again as I stare at the picture, torturing myself. Justin and his entire family at the dinner table, Sophie and Justin kissing. This picture is the equivalent to hitting me in the chest with a hammer. I take a huge gulp out of the bottle of wine, completely ignoring the wine glasses in my cabinet.
Half a bottle later, I find myself about to do in extremely stupid thing.
To: Justin
From: Eliza
Tell your wife happy birthday for me. I hope you share many more birthdays together.
Ignoring the last few sober nerves in my body screaming at me not to this, I send it anyway. Something in my felt relieved as I sent the text. A part of me felt...avenged? My slight anger at Justin IS momentarily appeased as I send the text and see that he read it at 9:45 PM. I hope I don't remember any of this in the morning. I open another bottle as the wine bottle is almost finished. I hope Justin feels bad, he's making me drink all my good wine.
---
"Fuck." I mutter as I open my eyes the next morning and light stabs my eyes. I slowly get out of bed as my head pounds. I slowly get in the shower and take my time getting ready. Finally I manage to look decent, although I am going without eyeliner and lipstick today because I could care less at this point. As I leave my apartment and check my phone, I see my text messages and see a very, very stupid mistake I must've made last night. A text to Justin.
I arrive at the office and get some strange looks. Wow, a woman without full make up must look...terrifying. I say to myself.
"Miss Eliza, you look rather...tired." Telford announces. In that moment I almost slap her. Why of course I look tired. I am always tired now a days.
"Can I talk to Justin?" I reply urgently. I want to resolve this mistake soon. I can't have him hate me forever.
"Sure, He's in his office. Just got here. Beware, he's in a mood. Apparently he got not sleep last night." Telford shoos me towards his office.
I slowly enter the office and shut the door behind me. Justin and his blue eyes look up from his computer and widen a little bit.
"Um, hi." I awkwardly wave as I approach his desk and sit in a chair across from the table. Justin says nothing, his eyes still on me. "You know, normally people reply with a friendly 'hello'." I cross my arms.
Justin shakes his head for a moment as if he were in a zone earlier, "I'm sorry, Hello Eliza." His rich voice quieter than normal.
I sit up straight, and for a moment, give up my pride, "I wanted to apologize for the text I sent last night. I had a lot to drink last night."
Justin nods, "I figured...you wouldn't be that way unless you weren't sober."
I scoff, "Haha, 'cause you know me soo well."
Justin puts his hands up in defense, "Eliza, I didn't mean to start anything." he says calmly and almost a hint of pleading is in his voice.
"I know. But you did. You did that night in your office. You did that time in the pool, in my room, in another hotel room, at my apartment, and about a million different times. But apparently those didn't mean anything to you, so I guess you didn't start anything." I hiss. So much for being humble and apologetic. "So to you, Justin Trudeau, I say fuck off." I stand up and walk out of the room leaving his eyes glassy and mouth slightly open.
I leave his office and all the adrenaline leaves me as I slides into a chair beside the door and put my head in my hands.
"Hum!" Telford coughs as my eyes dart up.
"oh, sorry!" I say shakily. "What do I need to do?"
"Eliza, You are in no shape to work tod-" I cut Telford's strong voice off before she can finish.
"Yes I am! Telford, I'm fine!" I beg as she gets up and begins leading me out.
"Eliza, you're not. Look at yourself for a second. Go get rest and then come back tomorrow." Telford orders. "Both of you need time alone."
My mouth falls open, how did she know? Who told her? How did she find out. "Ye-yes mam." I say barely above a whisper.