I had that nightmare again. His dark blue eyes looking at me. His eyes lifeless in an instant by my hands. His blood pouring out of his head to the ground. I wanted it to stop I wanted to stop seeing him! I woke up in a cold sweat. I was breathing hard and notice that the sun was coming up. There was no point to going back to sleep so I just let Tabi sleep on me. After some time I remove myself from her and make my way to the lunchroom. There were 11 of us but now there are 4 more. I was a pretty good cook so I started to make food for everyone. Ten minutes later I was done cooking and people started walking in the room. The all stopped and looked at me. I shrug my shoulder and took out the oatmeal I have made with some bowls and cups for the water. Jimmy came up to me and smile. I gave a small one back and give him a bolw and a cup of water. I mean we have juice but the water was better for you. After making sure everyone had a bowl and something to drink I gave myself some. It was apple flavor and it wasn't that bad. It was warm and sweet. After eating and cleaning up I told them, brothers and Claire, to follow me. We walking to the office and I drew a line on the map showing where the gray walls were and most likely be. I also more the place with the ferries was and BMCC and told them what I was thinking. "Ok, so I have been drawing plans to build walls and towers around the school to make it safer. From both the dead and the living that is like you know fucked up" I said.
They all looked at me and I could tell they were thinking about how we were going to do this. "How are we supposed to move cars without getting the attraction of the tickers," Erin said. "Simple we have to do groups," I said. "We have one group move and one group watch," I said. "Also like to be careful with the car alarms ok," I said. They nodded and we got to work. We rounded up everyone expects Sally and the three kids. I was with Claire and the new girl. Her name was Raven. We were in charge of keeping the infected at bay while the others worked to break into cars and move them into place. She was 18 years old and took a gap year for college and now she is stuck here with us. I told her how to hit them in the head and they are taller kick their knees out or if it's a kid, well shit happens. She looks better than before but nodded. Claire looked at me again and still had the worried look in her eyes but I give her a look saying that I was okay. "Alright let's move out and be at least five to six feet apart and cover the movers," Claire said. "Alright good plan," I said and Raven just nodded. We all walked outside and it was a cool day and the sun was still low in the sky. Since this whole block was a giant school, it was attached to a high school, we were going to make the foundation wrap around the whole thing. I mean it will take a while for us to actually get the foundation set, but now we got more people. Now we can start this project. It was going to take more than a few days maybe a few weeks even a month or so but I think the school will be a safe place for the time being and it's really big and it has a lot of classrooms.
We just need to find more people who didn't have a psychotic breakdown or crazy, evil or messed up. Well I mean I am slightly messed up but hey it comes with the apocalypse right. I mean it only was a few weeks ago that all of this happen and it's now February 1st. It hasn't even been a whole month and we went from 1 to 4 to 5 to 15. Plus the government decided to build a wall around Manhattan to keep us quarantined. I believe that was the dumbest thing that they could have done. I mean yes there are these dead things that we called Growlers and Tickers. There were still people here alive and they just left us. I know me and my crew has it down because we're going to survive this and we're just going to keep fighting to live for today and for tomorrow.
Today we had a plan in mind and that was to partially build the foundation for our walls to keep the dead out and the living trying to kill us if it ever comes to that. Claire, Raven and I got into defensive positions in front of Jimmy, Erin and Zac. They were in charge of moving the cars will Abby and her twin brother Freddy and the skinny emo kid, who's name I don't know yet and the other girl that I found with him yesterday were also moving cars .Victor was climbing the gate to get a vantage point to let us know when any growlers or tickers would come our way. I mean it was the same time and he didn't have glasses on but it's better than not being able to see if you like down in every direction from where we're working at. It was 7 in the morning and the two groups started moving the cars and checking to see if the alarm will sound or not and if it did, Abby knows how to shut it off. She may look like an innocent girl but she knew how to break into a car. Well before all this happened she knew her way around cars, she loves messing with them. While her brother wasn't. He was more of the book smarts guy and she was street smarts.
Abby and her group started first, she would take a look under the hood and disarm anything that would make any sound. See what go and check every car and if they had an alarm she would disarm it. But it was still in the process of moving the cars anyway. That's where Jimmy and his brothers came and they helped her and her group moves two cars at a time. It started at the end of west 77th Street and worked around. All day just to move 50 something cars. We weren't even halfway done yet. We didn't stop to have lunch either so I made dinner and had some granola. I mean we need to go out more and check out the high school cafeteria to see if they have any food and medical supplies in the nurse's office, but I can probably send the three kids and Freddy to go into High School. I didn't want to send the kids but I didn't want them to be alone either. I mean Jade was there but she's a dog so what can she do. But I had to discuss that with Claire and the rest of them. Today was a long and hard day of us trying to be as quiet as possible while moving cars and killing Growlers and their counterparts with the help of Victor pointing of them out. All in all, I can say that today was a small success where were trapped inside a city and nothing can really be fixed because of that. I mean Manhattan has like over a million people are so living on this 13-mile long island. Soon it is time to go to bed and I lay down on my cot and then Tabi comes running my way to cuddle with me. I think I help her deal with everything that is going on because I had saved her life. I mean I still don't understand why she cuddles with me but it's not really a problem because it gets cold at night here and I help keep her warm. She is only 10 years old and this is what I can do to help her. But also guess it makes me feel better to know that I am helping her in some way. Then I let sleep take me.
I look up and I see his eyes still, his dark blue eyes full of life and then the next lifeless. I mean I know I always say this but it's only been about 4 days since it all happened or even more I lost count. But I can see it when I sleep when I close my eyes when I'm not thinking but I knew I had to put it behind me in order to move on .Today we were going to be moving more cars and probably take us about a week or two to do half or more than half of the block or maybe finish it. Then after that build watchtowers and figure out what we're going to do. Then maybe send a group of people out to find more supplies and to tell people about The School and give them walkie-talkies and tell them what we're trying to do you know help those trying to survive but we also need to look to see if other people are living in groups like we are I mean when I went walking along Chelsea Pier the shoreline inside the wall I'm so sorry but they were angry and I'm wondering if people are using and maybe we can find a way to talk to them to see if they know anything but we also got to get news from the outside world to see what the hell is going on because I want to know why we're trapped in here and why they're not helping I know that everybody's thinking that as well. But that will be for another day. For right now we needed to rest to finish our walls and build watch towers. After a long night a fitful sleep it was time to get up and make food. Once again I woke up first but this time, I had the company of Tabi waking up. She wanted to help me make food for the gang and I accepted her help. We made our way to the lunchroom and started to make today's meal. She was good to help in making food. Maybe I'll get her out a bit more and cook for the others. That could be good for her and maybe be less clingy towards me. Soon the other came in one by one and got their food from Tabi and I.
It was nice and then I meet the other three who were with Raven. Their names are Kent, he is 7 years old. Harry the emo looking kid and he is 16-year-olds and Katy. She is 22 years old and was a tattoo artist. We ate our food and talked about our lives before all this happen. I learn that Tabi was a dancer and that Kent loves to read and draw. Harry was still in high school but wanted to become a doctor for at-risk youth. Well everyone is at risk now. After eating I told Freddy and Sally want I wanted them to do. Sally said she would go to the high school to look for supplies with Freddy. I took them to look for stuff and radio us. Sally went to tell Claire what she was going to do and Claire flipped out a little bit. I didn't want them to fight but I told her that this my idea and we were going to need more food and other supplies. That wasn't a good idea on my part to have said anything. She looks at me and was about to start yelling when Sally said that she knows how to hide and fight. That she lives for four days keeping her son safe while hiding. She continued talking about how everyone needed to help out and she wasn't going to be sitting around all day while we work. Sally and Claire glare at each other until they both look away. I was going to say something when Claire spoke up. "I'm sorry babe it just I don't want to lose you after getting you back," she said. "I know Claire but everyone has to pull weight and help out and I will not be alone," she said. Claire looks like she wanted to protest some more but then Freddy came with a two bats. He handed one to Sally and ask her wife if he can take her with him. Claire look to be in thought but said yes and to bring her back safe.
When they left Claire turns her look on to me and I freeze. She kind of scares me a bit but I soon relax and told her why I thought it was good. "Look I find Sally and your son hiding and she had a weapon with her. It was a knife and I could tell that she had killed before. She took down some of them and still live and now she has someone with her" I said. "Sally is strong, "I told Claire and she nodded in agreement. She still looks worried and I can somewhat understand how she feels. Then again I really don't, I mean I save people but it's not like I care. It meant one less dead people and shit. It also meant for the better chance of living through this thing. I still don't understand how people do things like this. It's weird for me even though I see it all the time. After they left Claire and I went to guard the groups moving cars, while Victor was on the look out. It was going to be a cold day but we had to get shit done. It was almost four and we were almost done when Victor's voice came through the talkie. "Hey guys I see some people running our way," he said. "Alright, Claire and I will check it out" I look towards Claire and she nodded. I told Victor to radio the others. Claire and I made our way towards the people that were heading towards the school. I had a bad feeling about this.
My bad feeling came true. As we got closer someone pulled out a gun and took a shot at us. We drop and took cover and yell out "we are human" but they still kept shooting at us. Fucking shit, we need to return fire. I gave Claire a look and she took out her M16. I didn't want to kill anyone again that wasn't already dead but I knew we had to. I didn't want to but if I didn't our group would be in trouble. After taking a calming breath I check my gun and started to shoot. I shot the first round blindly then peek out of cover to see one of the going down. Holy shit I did it again, I fucking shot someone again. They return fire again but this shit was getting bad. Claire was in cover again and we both knew we had to end this before more tickers and what not would show up. Fuck this was going to be hard; I look out from the cover again and started to fire back. Another went down and now there were two. Claire and I took them down and we went to their bodies to see if they were still alive. One was still moving but the others died. I didn't want them to come back so I bash their heads in with Max. "What the fuck is your problem" Claire yells at the dying man. He just smiles and then died. What the fuck is this! Some kind of T.V shows no! I just killed two more people and now we are looting their bodies. I kind of wish this wasn't happening but it was. Then I saw two more people. I drew my gun and pointed it at them they scream in fear. Holy shit they have chains on there and looked bruised and hurt. What the fuck were these guys doing to them?
I put my gun in its holster and went to them. I took out my knife and tried to free them. But it was no good. "Hey we need to get these chains off you come with us and we will help you," I said to them. They look scared but they followed me. When we got into the school I show the girls to the boys and they helped them with the chains. After they were off I showed them to a room that they will be staying out all set up and brought them food. "Claire round up the boys we need to talk to them and you as well," I said. She nodded and I went to the office to tell them what happen. A few minutes later the boys came in with a worried looked on their face. "Alright those guys that Victor pointed out weren't good guys, they had guns and started shooting at use and they also had two girls in chains with them as you can see," I said. "We searched them and took the guns and now we have some for you guys to use but only if they are too many of the dead," I said and look at them all. It was already a long day but it just got longer. Claire and I are going to question the girls but we needed to eat and rest but this couldn't wait. After a quick meal that Jimmy made we went to the girl's room. I knock on the door to let them know I was coming in and Claire was going to question them.
"So tell us everything that you know and why they had to all chain up," Claire said.
The first girl, her name is Hallie spoke up. "They were chasing us and we were just trying to find a place to hide from those things and to find some food. That's when they find us and said we were stealing but we weren't. They try to have their way but we fight back the best we could but they outnumber us" she said started to sob. The other girl Sara wrapped her arms around the crying girl in comforting her. "They used us for a few days and shit and it was so crazy I just wanted to die but we took it then they told us to follow them then you find us," she said crying. "Thank you," she said sobbing. As the continue to cry Claire and I left them alone. "So we need to watch out for people now," I said. She nodded and I was pissed. I didn't want to deal with them too but people do some crazy shit when hell's gates are open. It was getting pretty late. We walked back to our room which was close to where we both slept. We enter the room and Katy had a tattoo machine on Jimmy's neck. "Duh fuck," I said. "Oh I am giving everyone in charge tattoos and stuff, "she said like it wasn't a big deal. I just stare at her like she was crazy but then again everything is crazy now. After she was done with Jimmy she came over to me. "What are you doing?" I ask her. "What does it look like I'm doing I am giving our leader her tattoo," she said. "It has the letter TS and a crown on top of it now hold still," she said again. It was lost to me that she said I was their leader. Why am I the leader? How did this happen? I mean why isn't Claire she has more experience with leadership compare to me. I am just some 20-year-old Mexican girl from the hood. I just know how to survive and live because where I'm from you got to know how.
I just help people and I just try to help them live in a new world now. Trapped inside a city that our own government didn't care to help us. But why me? Why was I chosen for this? After an hour or two, she was done. "Why am I the leader?" I ask them. No one didn't say anything. "You're the leader because you saved us, and you do reckless shit too," said Zac. "But a leader isn't supposed to be reckless," I said. "So what you saved us and are still saving us, you're smart and you know what to do," said Erin. "Fuck, you brought us all together and look at us now almost a month in and we are still kicking it," said Sally. I just stared at all of them and felt the pain of my new ink on my skin. I guess I was their leader but I didn't know what to do. This is all new but I guess it's there now. I am something that they look to for guidance. Well, shit no pressure. It was late now and everyone was getting ready for bed. I didn't know what to do so I just lay down and waited for Tabi to take her spot on my cot. She came and cuddle into me and soon her breathing began to even out and she was fast asleep. Soon sleep came knocking on my door and I welcome it. I mean I still see his dark blue eyes but now I see two more bodies dropping, but at the end of it, I see The School and how I am the leader. I would do anything to protect these guys. But can I handle it all?
I woke up and my neck was throbbing with pain. Shit getting a neck tattoo done to hurt so damn bad but at less, it will hurt for a few more days. I need to put something on it and get some food. Tabi wasn't with me; maybe she is in the lunchroom helping. I got up and made my way there; on the way, I saw the new girls and ask them if they needed anything. They didn't know where anything was so I gave them a quick tour. I should them the bathrooms and lunchroom. I also ask how they were doing and they said a lot better. I was glad I was able to help. Even if I did take some lives away, even if they weren't so good, I was still ending someone's life and took away someone's father or brother or son away from them. It didn't matter now they were probably dead. Walking into the lunchroom with the new girls I find my way online and waiting to get whatever it was they cooked for a morning meal. Today we still needed to move some cars around and check out the rest of the high school. Sally and Freddy did a great job of finding food and other supplies. So now with the help of Sara and Hallie they can start to move it into the out storage space. I think we can break a wall down to connect the two schools together to make it larger for more people, but that was for a different day. Today we just need to finish moving some cars and block the gaps under them. Four hours later and some gaps covered we were done. It was a long day but we need to build at least one watch tower and make a shift chart to see who would be going first.
It was now dinner time and since we got some more food and more ingredients. But we were going to waste it all. After dinner, I call the four others with tattoos on their neck to give them the works. I told them about the watch towers and where to place them and shift we were all going to take. I made Claire the head guard. It was her job to look out for everything and everyone. It was also her job to train people and gather more weapons. Jimmy was the calm one and knew how to take care of people; Erin was the quiet one but knew how to build so I made him build shit. Then Zac was calm like me but not as smart, I'm guessing this is why he didn't want to be the leader. I did teach them how to survive.
I told them what I wanted to be done and how we would all help out but that was for tomorrow. Right now we needed to rest and take care of our new ink. Soon I was lying now with Tabi wondering why she only slept in my cot. I guess I'll have to ask her later. Soon sleep came to me and this time, I dreamt of my friends. I don't really have friends but the ones I do have are my family. I dreamt of the good times we had and how many parties we went to. I mean yes, I was an antisocial ass but I did go out when they asked me to. I wasn't really good at interacting with people but I knew my way around. Soon I was brought from sleep into reality. My neck still throbbing but I didn't let it stop me from getting ready for the day. Today I was going out to look for people and to scout out places for supplies. I was taking Claire and Victor. It was time for me to know about this guy and Abby, Freddy's twin sister. After eating I told those three to gear up and what my plan was. I knew we needed to help more people and get more things but I didn't want to go at it alone. I mean I've done this before and find people. Now there are people roaming around taking people and shit. I wanted to stop them. I also wanted to make contact with the people on the ferries if their people alive on there.
We got ready and said later to the people working. I never said goodbye to anyone because it means that I'll never see them again but I know I will. We may out way towards the water and started to walk south. I wanted to show them where the walls were and what they looked like. I also wanted to show them Lincoln tunnel and how the Army just left us. They looked piss but didn't say anything about it. I wanted to make my way to the grand central terminal. I had a feeling that something was going to be there. Walking along 42nd street the jumbo screen came to life. "What the fuck," I said. Isn't all the power off! How the fuck is this happening! "Hello people of New York City I am General Gillon and I am here to tell you our plan," the loud voice said.
"We are going to be sending aid in the form drop boxes, they will contain food, clothes, water and anything necessary to survive this virus outbreak. We are sorry to inform you all that you are in fact being walled inside the city to constrain the infection. I am truly sorry that we cannot send the good people of New York more aid, I will contact you all again when we have more"
What a load of horse shit! Fuck because of the loud voice on the screen growlers and tickers are making their way here. Shit, we needed to make a run for it and continue out plan. The four of us just ran for it, as quietly as possible until we were out of time square. Fuck I hated running! We were about a block away from Grand Central when I saw some people. They look to be in a caravan. It was about eight people and we were just walking to them. They had two kids and the rest seem to be older. "Hey" I called out in a low voice not wanted to attract anything that isn't human. One of them stops and looks around until the spotted me. I stopped walking and put my hands up to show them no harm. "Hey my name is Jackie and I am the leader of this place called the school. We can give you a place to stay and food, but the only rule is you got to help out and shit" I said. I want into my bag making a show of it, to pull out a walkie-talkie to give to them. I told them how to get there and that you will see us soon again. The girl who looked no older than me took the walkie and told them what I told her. They look at me but I just nodded back giving them the okay to try it out.
After some time they left, the group and I left and just wander around our city until I wanted to see if people live in the ferries. As we are walking I start to sing All We Have by MGK to me this felt like the song that can describe how I am feeling at this moment. I mean all we hand were each other to wake up and fight. But what for we didn't know each other but somehow we all knew that this is what we got and this will be all we know.
A few minutes later we were on the waterfront. I saw the ferries still in the same place on the water. We needed a boat to get to them. Claire knew how to drive one so she got on a four seater. We were getting near when I bullet went past my head. Holy shit why am I always getting shot at! I yelled at them "we come in peace and we just want to talk". No more bullets, we were getting closer and we hear a loud voice. It was coming from a megaphone. "What do you what," said the voice. Claire got up and yells back "I help some of your people I'm S.W.A.T," she said. Then a boat came down from the ferry and came towards us. As the got near Claire stop the boat. They were on our side and someone came forward. "Hey I remember you, you save my life and my wife thank you so much," this man said. "No problem, these are my friends and we wanted to know if you hear the announcement and if you heard anything from outside the walls." "No we haven't heard anything, we are trying to get the CB radio to work but no we didn't hear anything" they seem to be telling the truth so we told them what we heard from the General of the United States Army. He looked as piss as we felt when we heard it a while ago. I gave him a walkie-talkie and told them that the school is where we were staying at. We made our way back to land but instead of walking we took the boat there. It was faster than water and we were safe from the growlers and tickers.
I felt the crushing responsibility of being a leader but I didn't know how to ask for help. We got out of the boat and Claire tied it off. We made our way to the school and were getting by not one but two watch towers. I near the west and the other near the east. They were following the plans I drew out. It was looking good and I can't wait until I see more of it. Yet I can't shake this feeling I have. We were greeted by my crew; I guess that what we are now. We walked into the lunchroom and saw our new members. "Alright guys we made contact with the people on the ferry and shit and we heard something that might piss you all off, I'm just a messenger." After telling them what we heard I introduce myself as the leader and felt that suffocating feeling again. The new members are Luke a 17-year-old boy who was a math nerd, Nick a 16-year-old shy girl who likes reading, Todd and Sami were 8 and 9 years old, Dani a 20-year-old and who I spoke with at Grand Central, Kira, and Jeff were sibling 20 and 15 years old and are from New Mexico and were visiting family here, and Hank, he was 25 years old and in the Air National Guard. After I got to know them I told them the rules. Rule number one you got to help out, rule number two always wear a white bandana with the letters TS on it and rule number three is to always help those who need it and kill any who were bitten.
Those were my rules and everyone seems to agree with them. I show the eight to the room they would be sharing with Sara and Hallie. I told them they had tomorrow off but to get to work the next day and to drop the kids off at the library. Sally teaches them and shit and she also our radio girl. Just need to find a CB radio to give to her. After I help them and show them around I go to where I sleep. I lay down on the cot and Tabi came to cuddle with me like she has done every night since she got here.
I couldn't go to sleep. I felt the pressure of being a leader and it's only been three days. I couldn't handle this. After some time I started to think about the song I sang today. I made me think about not leaving but I had to. I couldn't stay here feeling like this. Making sure everyone was asleep I grab my bag and took a portable solar panel and left. Until I forget that two people were lookouts. Fuck, I had to find a way around them. I was small and I knew how to sneak around but I might be hard because they had small lamps with them. Making sure they didn't see me I jumped over the base of our wall and ran. I ran till I couldn't anymore. I wasn't cut out to be a leader.