Chapter Notes: Caleb's POV
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My eyes snapped opened, pulling me out of the darkness and back into reality. It took a second or two for them to shift into focus, but once they did, I saw her. Ava-Rain. I pulled my head away, severing the connection of our foreheads in order to look down at her. The moment my head no longer touched hers, her eyes fluttered open and the breath I had not even realized I was holding was finally released. It took her a second to find my eyes, but once they did, a smile immediately graced her lips.
"Hi," she whispered.
"Hi," I replied and returned her smile with one of my own. My hand immediately found its way to her cheek where it was met by her warmth. Inside, I felt my wolf's sense of relief intertwine with my own as we were both clearly thankful that her body temperature had returned to normal. But we still had to make absolutely sure that she was fine, both inside and out.
"What's your name?" I asked her.
She smiled again, though accompanied it with a dramatic roll of her eyes. "Really?"
"Humour me."
"Ava-Rain Tolbert."
"And what's my name?"
She shifted her body slightly and looked on either side of her, only to find the source of her obvious discomfort—the fact that I still had her laid on top of the hard surface of the mahogany desk. "Caleb Brandt."
"And what am I?"
She lifted a hand and threaded her fingers through my hair, pushing it back and away from my face. "My everything."
I was hardly expecting that answer, more so because the question, I thought, had required a more supernatural type of response. But her answer proved to be a thousand times better. "Do you remember where we are?"
"The den. The library." Her hand slipped from my hair, and soon her fingers began to trail along my cheek before tracing over my lips. If she continued to keep that up, I was going to be the one that needed to be reminded who I was.
"Our unwelcome guest?"
She smiled but continued her outlining of my mouth. "Angelie."
"And, out of curiosity, just how much trouble do you think you're in right now for what you just put me through?"
"Um. . .a lot?" She smirked.
I nodded as my head slowly began to descend. "Yeah. A lot," I whispered just before covering her mouth with mine. The kiss ended too soon, but, for the moment, it had been enough. I pulled away from her in order to lift her up into an upright seated position on the desk. After her legs swung over the edge, I stepped in between them and took her face in my hands, remembering a second too late that one of them had been imprinted with the symbol of the four elements while I was inside of Ava-Rain's mind.
Flashes of the 'Ava-Rain' I had tried to save only moments prior surfaced almost immediately. That Ava-Rain—which I now understood was only a representation of her mind—had been vacant. Absent. Almost lifeless. That Ava-Rain was cold and empty. Dark. And being inside of Ava-Rain's head and literally watching as her mind fell apart and self-destructed, I would have to say, was something I could only pray to Luna I would never ever have to witness again.
But, deep down, I guess I sort of knew that no amount of prayers would change the innate feeling that the whole thing had been my fault. That I had caused the destruction or, at the very least, played a part in it. I mean, what other reason could there have been to explain why the collapse of her mind included the use of all four elements? How else could I explain how I was even able to enter her mind in the first place? Because that voice had said so? The same voice that instructed me to use the four in order to save her?
And I knew that I should have stopped allowing my mind to wander down the particular path it was heading towards—the one in which it forced me to question things. I knew it and my wolf knew it too because I felt his angst radiating within me, felt his warning chilling me to the bone. But as I continued to look at Ava-Rain, staring into the warmth of her brown eyes and thankful that she was okay, I failed to stop myself from wondering where the hell that voice had been when I was trying to save Emmy Grace.
"You brought me back," Ava-Rain said as she slid her arms around me and offered me another soft smile.
"Did you ever doubt that I would?"
"Never," she replied with more conviction than I expected, and with so much certainty that, for a moment, I envied her optimism.
Somebody clearing their throat interrupted our moment, and I knew without having to look behind me who had been brave enough to commit the act. "You do remember that we're still here, right?" Kane asked. "You want to, you know, maybe take a second or two—or thirty—to tell us what the hell we just witnessed, Caleb?"
"I think it's pretty obvious what happened," I heard Chase reply.
Tearing my gaze away from Ava-Rain after she simply nodded to assure me that it was okay, I turned to face my awaiting pack members. . .and Angelie. Immediately, Chase, who had been a foot or two behind Kane joined his side, while the rest of my deltas moved to stand behind them. My eyes trailed over each member of the pack, taking in the confusion mixed with relief written on each of their faces. They witnessed their easily contained need for answers bubbling just underneath the surface of their hard and dominant exteriors. They saw their strength and their fearlessness; their hope and their faith.
What my eyes did not see were any traces of loss or defeat. They did not see a shred of abandonment or an ounce of surrender. There was not a shred of evidence to suggest that the men standing before me—my brothers—had given up on me or Ava-Rain. Had they not realized just how close they came to losing us both? Had they not witnessed it? Sensed it? Felt it?
"You dream walked," Angelie's voice sliced through the silence, causing every head to turn in her direction. She was off to the left side of the room, seated on the floor with her back propped up against the wall. "My Goddess, you freaking dream walked, didn't you, Caleb?"
If 'dream' referred to being mentally teleported inside of Ava-Rain's mind, and the 'walk' was fighting against being burned, drowned and swallowed alive, then yes, I supposed so.
"Let's just say, I don't envy full blooded heirs of the yellow. At all."
"You mean to tell me you just hijacked her mind?" Kane asked, surprise lacing his tone.
"But you've never been able to do that before." Chase responded to the answer he had not even given me the chance to voice.
"One second you're trying to wake Ava-Rain up," Kane continued, "and in the next, she woke up."
Wait, what?
Was Kane saying that this 'dream walk' had taken place in a matter of seconds? I had to have been out for at least half an hour. "I have the yellow coursing through my veins and it's probably as watered down as it can possibly get, but I don't think entering another's mind has ever been that easy. Or that quick."
"Because it's not that easy nor is it that quick," Angelie added as she slowly rose to her feet. "Especially not without years of practice under your belt, and even then, one cannot literally implant themselves into another's mind. Not even an heir of the yellow. So how the hell did you manage to do it?"
"The power of the four," Ava-Rain answered.
I turned my head and looked at her as her hand slipped into mine once she took her place by my side. It was her mind that I had broken into with the only weapons that I had in my arsenal, so it wasn't a surprise to hear that Ava-Rain was very aware that the four elements were responsible. But in doing so, a part of me had been revealed to her. A part of me that had literally broken in and invaded her. And although the objective was to save her, to bring her back safe and sound through any means necessary, there was a part of me that just couldn't find absolute comfort in knowing that the power of the four broke through the single most important barrier that kept her mind protected from me.
What I had faced inside of her mind were the four elements trying to destroy us both, so how could I ever be content with that? How could I ever again make her a promise that no harm would come to her by my own doing?
Almost as if she sensed that I was going to pull my hand out of hers, she latched on tighter. "Caleb saved me using the elements he was blessed with."
"It still should have been next to impossible," Angelie countered.
"Well, possibilities are bred from impossibilities," Ava-Rain answered Angelie with just the right amount of attitude to make both my wolf and myself proud. "And as much as I would love to tell you every little detail of what just took place inside of my mind, it's much faster to just say that we have to go find Kasey and her family. One of the wolf's memories took place at their family cottage. I don't know why or what it even means, but what I do know is that I need to go check on them. I need to make sure they're okay."
It was that particular memory that Ava-Rain had been distracted by, which ultimately led to her mind beginning to shut down. She had been frozen, or rather, locked inside of herself because her mind was focused so intently on it, distracting her from the task at hand. Not that I cared about the pure bloods memories anymore. I almost lost my mate over them and she was far more important to me than the nameless pure blood that had attacked her.
But from what I could gather from that single memory that I had been thrusted into, after seeing through the wolf's eyes and feeling everything that he had felt as he watched the Hellands from afar, was his overwhelming anger and the feeling of resistance. I don't know why or what it meant either, but the pure bloods were watching Kasey and her family for a reason.
And that couldn't have been a good sign.
"I'll send some of the boys to check on them," I said after turning to Ava-Rain. I expected the immediate reaction of her pulling her hand out of mine, but the loss of her warmth had impacted me in a way that it never had before.
"Well then I'm going with them," she added. She went to walk away, but was only able to take a single step forward before her hand shot up and clutched the side of her head.
Because I was so close, I was able to catch her before she fell to the floor. Clearly, my stubborn yet determined mate was in no shape to be going anywhere, especially not after what she had just gone through. "No, you're not," I whispered as my eyes skimmed over the exhaustion she was trying to hide written all over her face. "Kane, Chase," I looked up and sought out my betas, "take Harrison and Stryder—"
"No," Ava-Rain cut me off and pulled herself out of my arms. "The Hellands are my family. They mean everything to me and I'm not going to just sit here and wait for word, Caleb."
"First of all," I reached out to pull her back to me, but she intentionally crossed her arms over her chest to prevent my actions, "we don't even know when this memory took place. It could have been a while ago, before you talked to Kasey. And if that's the case, then she's already assured you that she and her family are fine."
"And what if it was after that phone call?"
"If it took place after that phone call, then I honestly don't think that the pure bloods would have been all the way up in cottage land watching a bunch of humans and then come all the way back here on that same day and draw you out to attack you hours later. From our perspective," I anticipated the eye roll she gave me because of my need to separate human logic from wolf logic, "that makes no sense."
"Either way, I'm going. Even if I have to walk all the way there, I'm going."
A deep sigh escaped me as I stared down at her, her determination to not back down or give into my demands so evident in her eyes and in her body language. I knew that this wasn't Ava-Rain trying to insert her dominance or her way of trying to argue just for the sake of arguing. Kasey and her family were the only people in Ava-Rain's life that had loved her like she deserved to be loved and protected her from living a life filled with sorrow and unhappiness.
I had once made the mistake of telling her that family didn't mean anything to her, a careless and horrible thing to say to the girl that had undergone so much growing up yet still harboured the ability to place others above herself and do anything and everything for the people she loved. Hell, she had almost, quite literally, lost her mind for the sake of my pack. Who was I to keep her down now? What right did I have to even try?
"Look at me," I said firmly because her eyes had refused to look anywhere else but into mine. It took her a second too long, but her eyes eventually found their way. "If we go, then you will do everything I say, Ava-Rain. And I mean everything. If I tell you to leave, you leave. If I tell you to run, you run. If I think something's not right and we have to turn around, you will not argue. Do you understand?"
My wolf only scoffed at my decision. The condescending bastard was actually mocking me, pitying me for being so weak and so easily persuaded by big brown eyes and our mate's hear-me-roar attitude. Remind me again why I hadn't rejoiced when I thought I had lost him while we were trapped inside Ava-Rain's head?
Ava-Rain's mouth spread into a soft smile and she nodded once. "I promise."
Despite my need for her full and complete cooperation, Ava-Rain's promise was not enough to keep me content. Before allowing Angelie inside of her head, she had promised that she would fight to come back to me. To survive. And I couldn't blame her for the reasons behind what had caused the plan to go downhill so quickly, but the fact that I had come so damned close to losing my mate was not something that I could so easily forget or allow to be overthrown by the reality that I had not lost her.
Promises were just promises, vows made in the moment. But whether or not they were kept or broken were decided by unpredictable and unforeseeable forces. Forces that I wished to Luna to grant me the strength—the power—to obliterate in order for us both to uphold our promises to each other, but if I couldn't even keep the ones I had made to her, then how the hell could I expect Ava-Rain to keep the ones she made to me?
"Does that mean I'm free to go?" Angelie asked somewhere off in the background.
"No!" Everybody in the room yelled simultaneously.
Dragging my gaze away from Ava-Rain, I looked up and sought out Angelie. "You'll be staying here for the time being so that we can keep a watchful eye on you." She opened her mouth to probably protest but I had already turned my attention to my eldest beta. "Kane, you'll come with Ava-Rain and I to check on Kasey and her family, which means Chase, you and the rest of the boys will stay here at the den. Don't let Angelie out of your sight."
"Of course," Chase agreed, while the rest of the pack nodded in acceptance.
Everybody in the room started to move and Ava-Rain turned to follow their lead, but I pulled her back to me and took her face in my hands. Normally, I probably would have waited until we were alone, but there wasn't any time and what I needed to tell Ava-Rain couldn't wait. "What you did for the sake of the pack—"
"I failed," she lowered her gaze. "I had one job and I failed you all. I'm sorry."
"You did not fail me nor this pack, Ava-Rain. You fought for us. You took on a huge risk for us and there is no failure in sacrifice. Only honour."
"But. . .but I wasn't strong enough. And, as always, you had to save me. And now I think those memories have either vanished, are locked up, or were destroyed when my mind was malfunctioning because I can't see them anymore. The one lead you had on them is gone. So, basically, I'm useless."
Her words cut deep, the strong belief and conviction in her tone slicing a path to my heart. "I don't ever, ever want to hear you call yourself useless, you hear me?" Her eyes only flickered up to mine for a brief second before she lowered them once more. "Do you hear me, Ava-Rain?"
She only nodded, which meant that she probably couldn't conjure enough belief to aid in her response.
"I just dream walked because of you. You brought that power out of me, Ava-Rain. You did that. You helped me break free from the restraints of impossibilities and, for the first time in my entire life, I truly felt like my existence was important. I felt the power of the four. My entire life up until this point, I felt useless, but you just made me feel useful. And maybe it was just a fluke, maybe I'll never be able to do what I just did again, but I can live with that. Through your strength I found mine. I wish you can see it, I pray to Luna that you'll believe it, but you're far more useful and powerful than I'll ever be, Ava-Rain. You are an important part of this pack and I don't ever want you to question or doubt that, okay?"
She hesitated at first, but eventually was able to whisper a soft, "okay."
"Good," I whispered back before placing a kiss to her forehead. "Now, let's go check on your other family."