It all started that one summer...
Chapter 12 - This weird feeling in my stomach
Isco
I was actually sad this morning because it was Katie’s last day here. I begged her to stay a few more days but she was leaving tomorrow for England to go to some concert with Emma. I was now free for the rest of the day and I was ready to see her. I knocked on her door and got no reply. I pulled out my phone to call and her and she replied really quickly.
“Katie, where are you?” I said once she picked up. I was craving to see her and just hold her tight in my arms.
“I’m right behind you.” She said and I turned around to see her there looking completely casual. She had her hair in a messy bun and she had a lot of junk food in her arms. I was surprised to see her with all those bags. “I didn’t know what you liked?” She said with a huge smile.
“Hello beautiful,” I said grabbing some of the bags she had in her arms and kissing her cheek.
“Hello Isco.” She said and I noticed in her eyes that something was wrong. I wanted to ask her what was wrong, but I didn’t want to ruin our last night with drama and I didn’t want her to cry. I wanted her to remember this night forever, tonight has to be perfect.
Katie opened the door to her room and placed the bags on the table. She asked me what I wanted for room service and then ordered. She was just fixing up the room a little bit and then smiled at me.
“Okay, so we are gonna stay here tonight and watch movies and eat and eat, I hope you like eating. I love it.” She said and just nodded at her.
“Perfect.” I said and we both laid on the bed together holding hands as the movie started.
I’ve spent the entire day planning what I wanted to tell Katie tonight. I wanted to ask her a very important question. I’m scared of what her answer will be, I am pretty sure she will accept my offer but you really can never know. Things have been great between us and I’m scared that something will go wrong.
Most of the time I’ve spent with her has been more than perfect and I just want that everyday of my life. I want her to be by my side and be my support. Tonight I will tell her all about Malaga and I don’t care if she hates the sport or loves it. I just want her to be there, every match, cheering me on. That is all I want, her.
Katie seemed to be distracted for most of the part, just like me. She was thinking about many things and it was easy to read it on her face. I wasn’t sure if it was that she wasn’t enjoying the movie, but she was holding on to my hand with all of her strength and I liked that. I don’t want her to let go and It seemed she wasn’t ready to do that any time soon.
“You okay?” I whispered in Katie’s ear making her smile. She looked up at me and tried to smiled at me again but I could see she was hiding something.
“Yeah, I’m great.” She said and I didn’t believe her. I was ready to ask her again and call her out on lying to me, but when I was going to open my mouth we both heard the knock on the door telling us room service arrived. I don’t know how but she knew I was going to ask her about it, so she jumped off the bed and headed towards the door.
We ate in silence and it was killing me. Katie avoided me trying to make eye contact with her. Yes, you can say that is was driving me crazy. I know I haven’t done anything wrong to make her act this was, so her behavior has something to do with the fact that she is leaving tomorrow. I knew that it can’t be anything other than that.
“Katie, I’m sad that you are leaving tomorrow.” I started to say hoping this would help her talk about her feelings. We’ve avoided this conversation, what our actual feelings were we never talked about. We said a million times how much we enjoyed spending time together, but I haven’t had the chance to tell her everything I love about her. “I actually thought of suggesting something,” I said smiling and she just bit her bottom lip and looked away from me. She was pushing me away, and after all this time of her guard being down… now it was back up again and stronger than ever.
“I was thinking about that too.” she said putting her arms around her chest and looking at me, but once she looked at my face she turned away quickly.
“Can you let me finish?” I said not wanting to hurt her feelings, but I’ve been thinking about this all day. “I kind of planned what I wanted to tell you, trust me, it gets better.” I said and she faced me and I could see tears building up in her eyes.
“Isco,” She said and her voice cracked. “Don’t… Let’s not make this any harder on both of us…” She said and I closed my eyes because I couldn’t look at her now. I couldn’t believe she just said that.
“No, don’t finish.” I said running my hands through my face. “So you want to leave things like this without taking into consideration what I want?” I asked her and stood up from my char. This was unbelievable. I was trying to take it all in but it was almost impossible.
“What do you want? Me to leave everything for what we both think is love?” She said and it was like her words were stabbing me.
“But, what if it is?” I said turning to her. I keep walking around the room trying to understand everything while she just sits there, looking at me. “This is love.” I said because to me it was, I was falling for her hard and it was impossible for me not to. I am madly in love with this girl and I am not ready to let her go.
“Isco, I barely know you.” She said looking away from me because we both know it’s a lie. I haven’t told her big parts of my life, but she knows me. She knows things I like and more importantly she knows exactly what to say to make me smile. “You’ve never even told me if you go to school or work.” She said and I couldn’t believe she was throwing this back in my face.
“I was going to tell you tonight.” I said with a half smile and I was already starting to give up. She wanted to hurt me, because if she wasn’t she wouldn’t say these things. This is not her, something happened that is making her act this way. I don’t know how I knew it, but this can’t be what she’s feeling.
“on my last night? Oh that is just perfect, you never trusted me enough to tell me?” She said and I really kept losing hope, I wanted to keep fighting for her and in her eyes I could see she wanted me to, but something was telling her to tell me these things.
“Don’t be like that, Katie.” I said ready to close the gap between us. I knew that if I got this close it will be easier for me to stop her from feeling this way, and even more, It would be easier for me to kiss her. I was standing in front of her on my knees, looking straight into her eyes because I wanted her to see that the next words out of my mouth were real. “You know this is all real. I know you feel the same way I do. I know you’ve wanted to kiss me since the first day we met, because I’ve wanted to kiss you too. I want you in my life forever, even if we have to spent time apart for a while, but that won’t end this because this is meant to be.” I said caressing her cheek, but Katie just closed her eyes and shook her head.
“We should just forget it, Isco.” She said and I couldn’t believe after all of that she’s still pushing me away. “It will be better this way,” She continued to say and let go of my hands. “You’ll forget all about me someday, and meet a new girl that you will love more than what you think you love me.” She said and I could see the tears falling down her cheeks. I knew this couldn’t be what she wanted because she can’t look at me while saying that.
“You never will be just a girl to me, Katie. You know that.” I said finally giving up. “but if this is what you want then I’ll go.” I said and started to walk towards the door. Every step I took further away from her was killing me. I tried to keep myself together for her, because she is doing this for me. I don’t know why she is doing it for me, but she was. “I still want you to have this.” I said pulling out her goodbye present from my back pocket. “Open it before you leave.” I said and I really was crazing to have her in my arms again. I hated that it ended like this, I never wanted this to happen, but I don’t have the strength to fight her. I was so surprised by this, I had no idea what to do.