Instead of walking into the console room, I was dancing to music playing in my head.
It had been two months since Jack joined the TARDIS crew.
The Doctor had dropped Jack and I off in modern day England to help a Neanderthal adjust to modern society. I don't mean Neanderthal like in the insult, I mean an actual Neanderthal from the prehistoric times. His name was Das, married a nice girl named Anna-Marie. It had been one of the more trying months of my life, but I was happy to give Magoo and Carolina time alone.
Besides, it added a fun thing to my resume. Assimilated a Neanderthal to the twenty-first century. Taught him about driving a car and that apple pie was not a rare gift from the gods. In addition, the all important lesson of: no dating Jackie Tyler. That had been a near miss, since she nearly caught sight of me dragging Das out of the club. Then, there was the fact that I was not a goddess. What? A girl has a little more intelligence than the modern day humans, and suddenly I must have god-like powers?
Though Jack was having less fun with it as the month drew to a close. A real adrenaline junkie, my companion. Course, he'd done crazy stuff to even get us to Das. If my sister ever found out Jack was naked, she might die from the thought of missing it. I had managed to keep my head on straight in that month, though only because of regular talks with my sister. There was some mingled Planning in there, took a lot of the edge off. I also did my math homework from Home, Dad would kill me if I forgot another math lesson.
Luckily, the Doctor picked us up after a month. Jack and I asked to see Das' wedding, especially since Jack was the best man...after I explained what a best man was to Das. Anna-Marie actually brought up flower girls and I was momentarily worried for Rose's safety.
But as of today, everything was worth it!
I'd timed it perfectly. The whole TARDIS crew was together. I couldn't fight my smile, and it seemed way too cheery to be mine. My friends agreed.
"Hey guys!" I cheered, skipping along to the console with the music I was humming. "How're things?" I braced myself on the handles, leaning forward to look up at Idris' rotor.
There was a bit of silence from the others. "Are you alright?" The Doctor spoke up.
"Why? Is it like I did a complete 180!" I joked. Come on, I think on a birthday you're allowed to make puns! "Wow. Okay, wow. I am not getting enough appreciation for that."
The three exchanged a look. There was a silent conversation, deciding which of them would step up. The past free days, I'd been a bit more cheery than before. It would probably be Jack. The Doctor and I were a bit at odds right now.
He wanted me to get rid of my weapons. He thinks weapons are a danger to everyone. Having them around set themselves on edge. He didn't like so many weapons in one place, knowing that.
I refused. I knew fully well that they were not toys, that they could kill or wound as I saw fit. Besides, most were parts of my job and if I lost them, returned to work without, it'd be a nightmare! Moreover, I couldn't risk my friends' lives.
The argument was pushed out of my mind. I had bigger things to do today.
To my surprise, it was Rose that stepped up. "So, Terra. You've been in a...good mood."
"About time you lot noticed. I've only been like this all week." It was true. I felt a giggle bubbling in my throat. My birthday never failed to cheer me up! "I know I told you three what was coming."
Jack thought over it. After a moment, he started to grin. "It's today?" I nodded, happily. The ex-conman pulled me in for a hug. "Then let me be the first to say HAPPY BIRTHDAY!"
Carolina gasped. Jack let go of me, so I could see their happy faces. "It's your what?" Magoo asked.
"It's my birthday!" I replied, dancing around the console. "One hundred eighty years of me!"
"You're sure?" Jack asked, blue eyes glinting with mirth. "How can you keep track of time in here?"
"Please don't kill my buzz. I worked all week to get on this level." I motioned to myself. My smile hadn't faded.
The Doctor stopped looking so surprised. He grinned at me, giving me a happy nod. "Happy birthday, Terra."
"Oh Story." I let my jaw fall into a melodramatic look of shock. "Did he just grin? Him? The grinch of the TARDIS grinning?"
He rolled his eyes, though his happy familiar smirk betrayed him. He flicked switches on the console to change focus from himself. "I'll let that slide since it's your birthday."
"I'm fine without a big party." I assured all three of them. "Really. I wouldn't say no to just kicking around in the TARDIS. She's got a bowling rink!"
Jack shook his head. "Not a chance, TJ. You are going to have the best party ever. I've even convinced Doc here to help."
"And I convinced Jack to let me get your gift." Rose chirped. She gave me a tongue-on-tooth smirk.
"The Captain had promised it'll be the best birthday ever." The Doctor recounted, in obvious sarcasm.
"Well, last year I spent in fighting in the Civil War, the year before I was in a bug's house, and the year before that I was fighting a Soviet scientist that used electronic whips to try and kill me." I mused. Rose gaped, while the men laughed. "So today better be good."
Jack bumped my shoulder. "If those were the birthdays, I shudder to think about what you did the rest of the year."
"No strippers!" I added. I'd been in How I Met Your Mother, and Barney has different way of celebrating my birthdays. Ever since, I'd made a point of keeping men in thongs away from my birthday parties. "At all. I mean it, Jack!"
The twenty-first century man only smiled at me.
How was I to know that the biggest stripper I knew wanted to crash the party?
==CON==
Carolina Rose convinced me to change outfits.
The one we agreed one wasn't purple, wasn't a dress, and wasn't sparkly enough to attract ships from outer space. It was a black shirt with long sheer sleeves, a pair of dark purple jeans, and black mary janes. I managed to keep my necklace with the lollipop charm and the TARDIS key.
It looked a lot like my usual outfits, except Rose promised I looked like a model in this. She said it showed off 'the curves I had been hiding', or something.
Apparently this added as my gift to them: dressing outside my usual hoodie.
Jack's first step was complete.
The second was the location. Even the Doctor had to admit Jack found a half decent place for our celebration.
It was an outer space bar, in the year 3860, called Moonshine.
"You're taking me to a bar in the future for my birthday?" I laughed.
"Yep." Jack agreed in a matter-of-fact voice. "And I picked the perfect year. Moonshine was at it's prime. The best music, best drinks." His smirked widened. "Best looking people."
Rose laughed. "Jack, you think everyone is the best looking."
He shrugged, staring at us innocently. "Doesn't mean I'm wrong."
Rose and I laughed at his antics.
"How did you hear about this place?" The Doctor asked him. "It's not exactly well known, even in it's own time."
He had set the TARDIS on course. It wasn't always a quick trip. Sometimes they took time (whether or not that he meant that to be a pun, I don't think we'll ever know).
"Back in my days as a Time Agent, they sent me all over the place for missions. Once it was accomplished, I would ask the locals what was the best place to party. When I was figuring out where to go tonight, Moonshine was the only way to go."
It wouldn't surprise me if he brought John Hart here when they worked together.
"I remember how happy you were in that bar in London with Das." Jack recalled. "Pretty much dragged you out."
"Terra likes bars?" Carolina asked. She turned to me, watched me for a moment, then shrugged. "Not surprising."
"Don't look at me all innocent like." I chided. "I bet you like them too. Drinking age in England is 18."
"And in Moonshine, they're less strict." Jack mentioned. I stared at him in surprise. "If you say you're a one hundred and eighty years old, they'll believe you."
My hearts sang in joy. I did enjoy the nightclub, except for everyone treating me like the teenager I looked like. Tonight I could get a buzz going!
"Then let's party!"
==CON==
Different species of aliens fluttered about the large bar, some I recognized from future episodes and some from Old Who. Some were new to me. Some were clearly human-ish. There was a clear area for dancing, with party lasers dancing about. There was a DJ that looked like a purple human with an elephant trunk. It was nice to get a look at the universe beyond what the screen showed.
They had high tables close to the dance floor. In the back of the large club there were smaller tables, and booths. Those were more fitting for our foursome. In the direct middle of the place was a large drink station, with three bartenders of various genders and species.
It has been three hours since then.
Jack was lost in the dancing crowd on the other side of Moonshine. I had given the go ahead to find a booty call. Just because it was my birthday didn't mean I should be the only one to have fun.
The Doctor was acting as Buttface's babysitter. It was either that, or have shots of future space whiskey with Carolina and I.
Looking back, I should've seen them setting me up. It was too suspicious. It was all just too clever. Jack and the Doctor leaving us alone? Us? The woman who was locked in a room with an exploding sun her first trip, and the Time Lady that bonded with a Dalek?
"So then, Barney got this idea to send a stripper to the party." I explained, laughing into my glass. "But he got it in his head I was gay-or at least bi- because I kept turning him down. So the stripper is female and showing it off-"
"Whoa hold on. Are you?" Carolina asked, speaking over me.
"-which was a shame caused I liked that cake." My bottom lip stuck out in a pout. My already light buzz made me take a minute to understand Rose asked me something. "Am I what?"
"Gay." She asked bluntly. Drunk Rose is blunt, everyone, be warned! I felt my eyes go wide. She wanted to talk about that here? Now?
"Somewhere in the middle...I think." I managed to say. "I don't like talking about this."
"Relax, the Doctor and Jack can't hear." Rose assured, as if that was my only problem.
It shouldn't have reassured me. How many people have said that to me, and they turned out to be right behind me. Rose's sincere smile convinced me.
That and the five shots of space whiskey. Turns out even Time Ladies get tipsy after that.
"I...like...both?" The words felt clunky, like someone cutting open an old rusty padlock. "I'm trashed, aren't I? I have a rule about getting drunk for this reason." Of course, I said this while reaching for shot number six. "Terrific. Next I'm gonna tell you about the geek I'm in love with."
Rose snorted, nearly choking on her drink. "You what?" She coughed. She was fighting a smile from the look of it.
"Me, drunkenly admitting I love a geek." I smiled nervously. I downed the next shot, loving the burn in my throat. "Sorry. Is something wrong with that?"
"No! God no. Just...thought you'd be more into...jocks, and the tough guys." Rose excused. It was a poor one. It did make me feel a bit better. She even made a 'tough guy' face, and some grunts.
It made me laugh. That loosened my tongue. "No, I'm pretty sure he's a geek. I like geeky types. Cause they'd understand all the movies I'd take them too, or the TV shows I watch, and it would take a month out of the relationship to get them caught up on everything. It's a deal breaker if they haven't seen a Marvel movie. DC ones, I can let slide. But Marvel? Not happening." My cheeks went red. It made Rose giggle. "Promise you won't tell?"
"Cross my heart!" Rose cheered. Too be honest, I thought I saw a spark of relief in her honey brown eyes. "No one's gonna hear it from me. Who is he, though?"
"...I already said too much-"
"No no! Don't leave me hangin'!" The blonde excitedly tapped my arm. "Tell me about this mystery bloke!"
I grinned at her childishness. "He has long brown hair." I mused, reminiscing on him. "I always wanted to see if it was as soft as it looked. These cute little puppy dog eyes, Storyline I've been staring in his eyes for ages." A small giggle came out, just thinking about him.
It's been a decade since I've been around Doctor Spencer Reid. Our last case was a human trafficking ring. It was such an exhausting case I can't even remember my last words to him. It could've been a simple 'see you tomorrow'.
Of course, that tomorrow hadn't happened. I went Home that night for some R&R, from all of it. As far as Doctor Reid knew, I was at home sleeping away the hard day.
I'd seen him loads of times since then, on TV. He still looked gorgeous. I've never thought differently of him, ever.
"He rambled if you gave him time." I recalled. "He'd spout off all these random facts that we wouldn't know unless we looked at a travel pamphlet. He was bad with technology, he hated getting a cellphone for work. I don't even think he's used a laptop."
It'd been funny at the time, his desk being the only one without a computer. Reid just preferred it old fashioned. I felt close to him now, like he was behind me giving me random facts about the bar and the planet and whatever else Reid had in his head. That could be because Doctor Who is one of his favorite shows.
I miss talking with him. I thought. I love seeing him on TV, but it's never real. He doesn't talk about the same things. Old wound still burn in his heart, and it makes me want to be here for him. Then he'll smile, no I know everything will be okay.
Rose tsked beside me. "Shame."
Her word brought me back to normal. "Huh?"
"The Doctor don't look anything like that." Rose commented, glancing in the direction of our table. There was a bit of anger in her eyes.
I sputtered, nearly spilling the shot onto the table. "The-The fuck!?" Was all I could get my mouth to spurt out.
She stared at me. "What? It's just weird, is all. I mean, you and the Doctor-"
"No! Nononono. There is no 'me and the Doctor'! I don't want there to be any 'me and the Doctor'!" Oh Storyline, Rose, you're ruining my OTP! An almost mad idea came to me, as I fought a smirk. What a better birthday present then getting them together? "He's a great guy, but I don't wanna date him!"
Her eyes widened. "What are you talking about? You two've been giving each other looks ever since-"
"Since he found out I was a Time Lady? Yeah, what a way to sweep me off my feet." I broadened my shoulders, my set in a scowl as I tried to copy his North accent. "'We're the last of our kind. Wanna make another generation?'" I grimaced. It wasn't a great impression, and the line had been weird to think about.
Rose blushed. "It's...kinda silly when you say it like that."
"We've been giving each other looks because Time Lords can talk mentally. Do you have any idea how hard it is to give a 'the fuck you just say?' face mentally?" I copied the expression, for emphasis. The action was blamed on the whiskey.
Rose just started laughing. Whether from my face, or realizing the Doctor was available. I hoped it was both.
"Yeah! It's weird!" I went on. There was a chance at Nine!Rose, I wasn't going to waste it. "Or a 'yeah I'm right. Better start getting used to it.' That's a favorite."
"All this time, I thought you two were dating!" She admitted between chuckles.
I shook my head, having a bit more of my drink. "No! I've been trying to get you two together!"
"Me and him?" Rose asked, cheeks going pink.
"Yeah! All the looks you think he's been giving me, are the looks he's been giving you! I mean, you two were talking about 'dancing' last month!"
"I was trying to make you jealous, cause it was driving me bonkers seeing the two of you not do anything even though you wanted to!"
"You need to retake driver's ed, cause you misread every sign." I informed, having another drink.
Rose laughed, loudly. "What was that?" She asked in between fits of laughter.
"I'm drunk. I can't be super smart when I'm drunk." I lied, feeling the urge to blush at my poor attempt at humor.
==CON==
Darcy's text: Doing something cool. + dangerous. Need help.
Terra's text: Sure. Let me drop everything and work on your problem.
Darcy's text: That's my girl ;)
Darcy's text: But seriously come help.
Terra's text: I can't. I'm doing a thing.
Darcy's text: But my parents aren't home. Lol.
Terra's text: That is because they are dead. You killed them. That joke doesn't make sense.
Darcy's text: It's a meme. Storyline, Grandma, keep up. XD
Terra's text: How long have you been topside?
Darcy's text: 7 months.
Terra's text: Seven? Holy shit
Darcy's text: You?
Terra's text: Four.
Darcy's text: :O It's your birthday?
Terra's text: 180.
Darcy's text: Sis! I'm offended! Where the fuck are you? We gotta party now! How long left in your bday?
Terra's text: 15 hours.
Darcy's text: Meh. I'll make do. Where you at?
Terra's text: Why should I tell you?
Darcy's text: Because I'm your sister and you need me. ;P
Terra's text: Storydammit. You're right.
I texted her the space coordinates to Moonshine. She would've found them on her own.
Darcy's text: ROTFL! Sis, I'm in Moonshine rn!
Terra's text: You're joking
Darcy's text: 3860.
Terra's text: ...lucky guess
Darcy's text: Nope! LOL So grab your big butt and get over to the backroom!
Darcy's text: Oh + leave 9. He's not supposed to meet me yet. ;)
Clapping my phone shut, I slid it back into my pocket. Carolina was off flirting with Magoo, hopefully. It would be nice if they got together by tonight.
After a quick glance to them, I climbed out of the booth to find my companion. He'd been in this club before. He would know where to find the back room.
"Buttface." I cheered.
"Yes ma'am?" The flirt perked up.
"You're right on time. We're helping someone out of a tough spot. Come on." I nodded my head towards the area behind the drink station.
Jack tilted his head curiously. He still followed me when I made my way. "It's your birthday. Do you need to work on your birthday?"
"Usually no, but she insisted." I lied, shifting through the growing crowd. Who know my birthday was such a popular party destination in the future? "Thought you be happy. You did say you wanted to meet my past companions."
Jack's eyes went wide in time with his smirk.
==CON==
The word 'subtle' has never been in my sister's dictionary. Ever.
So, when I saw the woman waiting for us in the back room I knew it was her. Even though she looked nothing like my sister.
My sister was an odd disguise. Her hair was colored dark brown, though I could see the black in the roots. The hair was brushed to cover the scar on her forehead. Her outfit was all red; a cliche nightclub dress that barely went over her ass, heels with gray spikes on the heel, a handbag on a gold chain, large bengals on her wrist, long painted fingernails.
If I hadn't known my sister wanted my help, then I wouldn't have known it was her. Whoever dressed her up is too good at disguises.
She smirked when she saw me come in. Her teeth framed by overly slutty lipstick. Her smile shook when she saw Jack, and her cheeks turned a brighter pink.
For a moment, I thought my sister was flustered. It was a stupid theory. Nothing has ever made my sister flustered. My sister hadn't been flustered around boys since she learned about boys. Just...it was impossible to ignore the seconds she froze when she saw Jack. The slight hesitation as she walked to us.
"Is that her?" Jack asked. I hoped he didn't notice Darcy's hesitation.
"Darcy Anderson, in the flesh. What's horrible is I want to say she doesn't always dress like that."
Jack chuckled under his breath. "You said no strippers."
"Which is probably why she dressed like that. Terrific." I huffed. I held a hand up at him. "Give me a second to talk to her. She...won't know you."
Before he could reply, I walked up to my sister for a quick reunion.
"What have I told you about wearing heels?" I asked her in a conversational voice.
"Rule 14. 'Never wear heels. If you fall on your face running from something, I'm allowed to laugh at you'. It's connected to rule 47: 'Never get drunk. Drunk people say too much'."
"And I did. Say too much. To the...the blonde one." My less than sharp mind couldn't, for the life of me, remember her name. It was a flower thing, right? "I told her about...fuck...what the shit did I say? It was...something. Important. Some kind of 'S' word." 'Serious? Suspenseful? Spense...spense...something with spense?' "She'll tell me about it later."
Darcy's grin brightened. "Can I keep you?"
The two of us exchanged smirks.
"Why did you bring him?" My sister asked. She was nervous now. It was such a bizarre color on her face.
The mere idea surprised me. "Are you nervous about meeting Jack Harkness?"
Darcy winced faintly at my blunt question. It had to be about that. Darcy Anderson was never scared of anything; except Buddhist Temples, talking to boys she had a crush on, and her mother having custody.
"I expected you to be excited at flirting with him." I stated, adding a confused drunken frown.
The assassin just smiled bittersweetly. "I meet him already. In the Year." She admitted in a low, damn near trembling voice.
I let her see my surprise. She had texted me that she had only been here seven months, so she hadn't been in the Year That Never Was the whole time. What had she seen that year that could do this to her?
"No way. I called you, future you, she said she slept with him!" I argued. 'Why were all my OTP's dying tonight?!'
"Really?" My sister's purple eyes sparkled in hope.
"Yeah! I mean, she was in Torchwood jail cells, and she's definitely killed him a couple times, but she was happy!"
There was a suddenly haunted look in her eyes. She was staring at my face intently, seeing a ghost of what was to come.
Jack came up and the look was gone. "I felt like I was missing out." He explained to me. I gave him a pleading look to go away, but he turned to Darcy. "Hello. Captain Jack Harkness. I've heard a lot of things about you."
If anything that statement made Darcy look worse. "G-good things?"
Jack nodded. I found myself nodding with him. 'What level of drunk was I tonight? Did I even have a 'friendly' level?' "The best. Anyone else that can boss TJ around is good in my book."
Darcy raised an eyebrow. She was still nervous around Jack for reasons I can't begin to fathom. 'Fathom. That's...that's a funny song. Fathoms below, below. From whence wayward westerlies blow!' "TJ? That's...tame."
"I know. She calls me-"
"Buttface, cause you have a butt instead of a chin." Darcy cut him off. There was a reminiscent smirk on her face. "And cause you let dicks get in both." She added.
"That sounds harsh."
"Nah, you just stole mine."
'Can you feel the sexual tension tonight?'
"Plus, I like the nicknames I gave her." Darcy began. "Like 'yellow' or 'bitch' or 'sister'."
Even my drunken mind caught that. "Hey!" I snapped.
"Sister?" Jack said, looking between Darcy and I. "You really take that companion thing pretty far, huh?"
My sister didn't react to my warning glare. "I'll explain in a minute." Darcy looked to me with a held back expression. "I know you're mad, but his future self knew."
If I was going with this crazy plan, I must be more plastered than I thought.
"Yeah, Same here." Darcy shrugged. She turned to Jack. "Time travel is fucking stupid, same for my life, so I'm going to just say it. Terra is from another reality-universe-whatever where everything's a TV show called Doctor Who."
"Darce, you're telling him everything-"
She threw me a 'sis, you gotta trust me on this.'
"She's some weird next step in human evolution, or that's what she thinks anyway. She has no real idea 'cause she's never met anybody else with powers like that. She knows the future, deal with it." My sister sipped at her drink. "And I'm her sister from another...world, reality. She brought me up after my parents died." She pointed a warning finger at him. "This is the part where I tell you if you break her heart, I will kill you in every way that can be imagined and then the ways that can't."
I let me head fall to my hands with a clap.
Jack was silent for a moment, I didn't want to look at his expression.
"She told me she lost her memories." He stated. In a voice void of the flirty warmth it had.
"She did. She has no memories of Gallifrey, and of the years on Earth." Darcy explained. She pulled my hand away from my face. I childishly tried keeping it where it was. "It's bullshit-sister you better move that hand-cause she still has nineteen years missing-I will slap you. I have some from our Slap Bet saved up-! This girl? She's got-no sense I'm about to beat some sense into you, don't care if it's your birthday-no sense of home in her hearts. That's fucked up. This is fucked up. You're the oldest!"
Throughout the whole speech, she managed to pull my hands behind my back. She had done more childish antics, that Ias a proper Time Lady did nothing to encourage such behavior.
There I was, on my birthday, slightly buzzed from my drinks, surrounded by half my companions, and one tried to put me in a police hold.
Captain Buttface was staring at me, a questioning look in his blue eyes. I tried to answer them back, to get Jack to stop looking at me like that. To stop staring at me like I had betrayed him.
"I'm sorry." I heard a voice sounding an awful lot like mine sobbed. "I'm sorry. It just started happening when I was a kid. I was so scared that there was something wrong with me. There was all this power in my hands, I couldn't stand by and do nothing. I didn't...I do what I can with this, I can't watch people die again. I won't turn into-"
"TJ, slow down!" Jack called over my panicked speech. It was nothing short of a miracle that no one had come in here already. What with all the noise we had to be making. "I don't know all about what's happening with these...dimension hopping powers." He stuffed his hands into his pockets, letting his shoulders relax. "Except that there is nothing wrong with you."
Oh. That's...actually really nice.
"Does the Doctor know about your powers?" Jack asked, after a long pause.
Behind me, Darcy shuffled on her feet. I shook my head, feeling my head spin a bit from the action. "No, I keep a tight lid on that. At best, he'll think I'm psychic." I argued away.
Jack perked up. "I know something before the Doctor. I like that feeling."
"Moving on from that." I tossed back a bit of my hair, turning to my sister. "What do you need us for?"
"It's gonna easier with you here." Darcy perked up. She motioned her head towards the door. "There's a thing in this guy's office I need to steal. You can lock pick better than me. We'll be in and out."
==CON==
"You are so fucking dead, Anderson. When I get out of this thing, you are so fucking dead."
"You've been saying that for thirty years."
"This time I mean it you whore!"
"It's your time of the month, isn't it?"
"Time Ladies don't get that."
"You are fucking pulling my leg."
"I wish I was pulling it off!"
It had been going well. Darcy had apparently been undercover as a stripper to investigate an underground drug smuggling ring which was being run from this club. It would've been funny if Jack didn't add in that was why he had been sent to this club as a Time Agent.
Darcy was supposed to be stealing a ledger which would be leverage against the leader of the drug ring, Kyllan, so as to free the planet, Clilles M5I2, from his harsh drugs. If we couldn't stop it now, the planet would have decades.
What my sister neglected told me was that there were guard patrols. We were immediately taken into the dungeons beneath the club, to be cuffed to the walls, with the music too loud overhead for anyone to hear us. Well, the humans were cuffed to the wall. I was connected to a chain in the middle of the floor.
It was too short for me to kick my sister in the face.
The three of us would've been out of here ages ago if those thugs hadn't taken my Infinity Bag. Now I was an angry drunk, stressed, and angry.
Jack was finding our conversation hilarious. It was the knowledge that we're blood related that made this whole fucking thing funny.
"You know, you blame me for everything." Darcy added.
"That's because you're the one to blame for everything!" I shouted. For Story's sake, she was such a pain!
My sister scoffed. Jack chuckled, watching the exchange with interest. What was going through that man's head right now?
"You know, for a while I doubted you were related." Jack admitted.
"I doubt it too!" I snapped. "Remember the Lime Shirt Incident?"
That made my sister groan, rolling her purple eyes heavily. She had a rough childhood in Child's Play. Most of the years were in foster care, but sometimes I'd grab what little we had so we could live on the road. It was better than some of those foster homes.
At times, I was low on cash. We had to steal from department stores. Darcy and I would scout a place, rob it for what we needed, and leave. Most of the times we'd store the stolen goods in the air vents, then come back after closing to collect.
"I told you to stuff the shirt in the air vent, but you decided to wear it in broad daylight!" I shouted at her. "In front of the store owner!"
"Oh my Storyline. I needed new clothes!" Darcy argued in exasperation.
It was an old argument, but I still feel like my side was right. "You couldn't have waited five hours? You were in a holding cell for two days!"
"You were the reason we weren't sent back to the Care." Darcy pointed out. She pulled against her chains, eyeing them cautiously. "So stop bitching about that shirt already."
"Then there was the car crash." I added, as of an afterthought.
"...okay that you can blame on me. I swear, that lamppost came out of nowhere!" My sister argued. She turned to Jack. "She was dead on her feet. I offered to drive us to the next town. For my first time, it was better then expected."
"You were eight!"
At that point that Jack officially lost it. He started guffawing in his chains, loudly echoing in our cell.
"Thank ya kindly, you idiot! Why are all my picks idiots?!"
"All we can do is laugh. It's filling the silence until you come up with something." Darcy explained. She was laughing too. "You're the Plan-maker person."
Why were my companions turning into hyenas? My hands dug in my hair, tugging to wake me up from this nightmare. The assholes. I should replace both of them, see if they laugh then! "If I made the Plan, we wouldn't be in the drug lord's secret nightclub jail!"
"So make the plan, bitch."
I grunted in annoyance, letting the chains clunk heavily on the floor. 'Such a good little sister. When can I have her replaced?' "I ask the Doctor telepathically, whore."
"You can do that?" Darcy asked me, eyes wide. She turned to Jack. "She can do that?"
"Yeah. It feels strange to be left out of a conversation." Jack admitted. He turned his head towards Darcy, giving her a happy grin. "Except when she starts glaring. That's when I'm happy not to be in the know."
She smirked "Good point."
Great. Soon the flirting was gonna start. Could they go back to bedroom eyes please?
"Isn't that dangerous?" Darcy asked, cutting off my train of thought. "Having the Doctor in your head?"
"He's not there all the time." I explained, annoyed. I was eager to get out of my chains. "It's like weird texting, and sometimes emotions. He's not there any longer than I want him to be. Now can I get some quiet so I can call him?"
Darcy held her hands as far up as her chains would let her.
I huffed, happy she was quiet at least for now. 'Hey Doctor. I could use a little help.'
There was silence on his end. Tense silence, that never fled to anything good.
"Is it working?" Darcy asked Jack.
"No idea. Ask her." Jack responded.
So.
Helpful.
"Hey. Hey. Hey Yellow? Yellow? Yellow, hey. Yellow, is it working?"
"Shut up Purple. He's replying."
"How long does it take to reply to a thought?"
'Where have you been?'
"He's angrily replying."
"Oooh. You're in trouble!" She teased, like she was an eight year old.
'Trapped with Jack in a dungeon. Where have you been?' I recounted. "Didn't I tell you to be quiet?"
"Eww. I can feel the love. Keep those disgusting emotions away from me." My sister ordered. She recoiled as far as the chains would let her.
I rolled my eyes. The Doctor was sending me furious mental waves. This wasn't much of a punishment from him. That would people if he left me here with them. I'm more mad at myself for doing this whole thing drunk.
'Oh just great. You and your companion got arrested at your birthday celebration. Rose and I have been searching everywhere for you two!'
'We were helping out my friend-'
'A real friend, or the friend that isn't a friend?'
'The second one.' I answered. 'Turns out the owner of the club is drug lord. My friend needed help getting dirt.'
'So you know about the drug lord thing too.'
"How they fuck did you find that out?" I shouted in surprise.
Darcy snapped her head at me. Her eyes were wide in fear. "Does he know about me? He can't know about me. Sis, you have to tell me if he knows about me. It's too early. It'll ruin everything."
"Calm down. He knew the owner was a drug lord." I reassured, surprised at how worried she was about that. "Why is your identity so important?"
My sister anxiously writhed in her chains. Her head darted about, looking anywhere but myself and Jack. Her chains rattled loudly as she pulled on them, trying to pry her wrists out. "I-It just is, okay? Shit." Darcy's breathing sped up. "Shit fuck. Shit FUCK!"
"He doesn't know anything, you dumbass!" I barked. It should have been a bark. The worry and confusion in my voice kinda ruined it.
Darcy did calm down, in that she stopped shaking the chains. Her breathing was too rapid for my tastes. Something happened in that Year, something bad. What could it have been to make her shake in fear at the Doctor finding her out?
'Terra?' The Doctor's voice came insistently.
'Sorry. Having another conversation.' I put more focus onto the Doctor. Darcy needed space to work herself out. 'Can you get us out of the dungeon? There was a room down the hall from Kyllan's office. It had a lot of equipment in it. One of them has to be the switch connected to our cuffs. I'd've switched them off myself, except they took my Bag.'
'Should be an easy fix with the sonic.' The Doctor responded. For a moment, I felt some hope that I would get out of this with the least amount of humiliation. He sent of quick mental wave of amusement. 'What kind of nightclub has a dungeon?'
'The kind Buttface takes us to.' I answered, smirking.
Darcy's voice butt in. "Oh! Now I get what Jack meant. It's creepy to see her smiling like that and not know why." She explained. "When I see that smile good things don't happen to me."
"You see that face often, huh?" Jack replied.
"Not as often as I'd like seeing your's." She flirted on a reflex.
'Hurry. I am trapped in a room with two flirts.'
'You've made your bed, Terra. Now you lay in it.'
'If they start having dungeon sex I will never forgive you.'
"I think it's story time." Darcy chirped. "I want the story of why you brought her to a nightclub. You and I both know she doesn't dance."
"I hate both of you!" I sighed, dejectedly, before I fell to the floor in an undignified heap.
==CON==
Twenty minutes later, the Doctor's plan to unlock the chains worked. The manacles around our wrists released. I rubbed my slightly raw wrists as my companions adjusted themselves.
'Thanks Magoo. I'll catch up with you soon.'
"Sis, that briefcase-" Darcy began the second her feet touched the ground. "It would be in his safe. When he's in Moonshine, he keeps it there. Anytime else it's on his wrist. This is the best chance we have to grab it."
"I'm on it." I stated. "I'll take my Bag while I'm at it."
"What about Kyllan?" Jack asked. He rubbed at his red wrists as the three of us circled in the center of the room. "Someone needs to go after him."
"If Magoo and Carolina haven't already." I pointed out. "Purple, go with Buttface. You've fought more drug lords than they have."
"Yes ma'am." She gave a curt nod.
"Buttface, until otherwise, you're to call me when he's found."
"You don't have your phone." Darcy pointed out.
I shrugged. "It's in my Bag. There should be plenty of time for me to find it before you call." I explained.
Darcy's eyebrows went up, same as the corners of her lips. "Is this a contest?"
"No. In a contest you would have a chance." I told her cheekily.
Jack pulled out a phone. If I though too much on where he hid it, I would start blushing. "You've never left speed dial."
"You had that phone up your ass." Darcy commented. "That's taking 'butt dial' way too seriously."
"Oh thank my Storyline." I breathed. "You can't say things like that."
"You were thinking it too."
"Purple, I expect him caught within the hour." I ordered, not daring to agree with her out loud. I walked over to the door, testing to see if it was also unlocked. Presumably yes, no one ever kept chained up prisoners in locked doors anymore? "By either group."
"He'll have a ribbon." Darcy smirked. She walked behind me. "And be naked." She winked.
I didn't give her a reprimanding look. She could turn him into Pinhead from Hellraiser right now and I'd be fine. "Not the worst present you've given me. We meet up here when's he captured. Understood?"
"Yes ma'am." My companions practically saluted me.
With that settled, I opened the door to our dungeon cell. The door had been unlocked with our chains. Those are the downsides to having everything powered by electronics. For a drug lord, Kyllan isn't too smart.
The guards were posted down the hall. I could handle a few on my own. Darcy and Jack would be fine.
I took a right out the door. Jack and Darcy went left. I wish there was enough time to get another glass of whiskey.
"Eldest, huh?" I heard over my shoulder.
"Oldest. Big difference."
==CON==
Tracing my way back to Kyllan's office was easier without Darcy and Jack over my shoulder. The extra guard patrols were quicker to sneak past.
The office was the carbon copy of Henry van Statten's. There was a giant portrait of him: a humanoid blue alien with thorax on his head, and two thin prongs on the sides of his mouth. It reminded me of Chantho, probably a few years back on the evolutionary scale and a lighter shade of blue. There was an alien flag in there. His desk was the black hardwood type you'd expect a villainous drug lord to have, included with those stupid clacking balls.
Another perfect detail, the Doctor and Rose standing in the middle of the room. Magoo looked tickled pink to see me. Probably because I had been trapped with flirty companions. He had his Rose. Sweet innocent Carolina Rose 'only flirts to make him jealous' Tyler.
"What a birthday, huh?" I stated before blatantly searching the office for the briefcase Darcy had described. "How's your night going?"
Kyllan was narcissistic, from the painting alone. If it wasn't inside his desk, then it was in the secret safe behind the painting. How did I know that, you ask? Because there is always a secret safe.
The Doctor stared at me curiously as I searched through his desk. I opened all the drawers big enough for it. "Pretty good. Came here for a birthday party. The birthday girl left with her companions."
The last drawer closed with a loud crack. "She sounds interesting." Was my comment.
"And when I hear from her, she says she's trapped in a dungeon because she had been trying to steal from the known drug smuggler, Kyllan Deoh'ass." The Doctor glowered at me. "Any idea why she would do that?"
I smiled, weakly. "It's for a good cause." I went move the painting back, revealing a large in-wall safe with a digital keypad.
"How did you know there was a safe there?" Rose asked, surprised.
"You've never stolen from a drug lord before. They always have a safe in their office, behind their desk." I excused, waving her concern off. Rose blinked in surprise. "Trust me it gets boring. They don't even try anymore."
"That safe isn't your typical twenty first century safe." The Doctor pointed out. There was a heavy glare on his face, "It needs a specific eight digit code. How exactly did you plan on opening it?"
Unashamed, I smiled at him. "I was going to use some drywall dust to see which numbers were used. It gets a little time consuming after that, more time than I have, so I'm happy that I can use the screwdriver."
Rose chuckled, not even covering it up as a cough. The Time Lord shook his head. Probably wondering why the last Time Lady was so cool in letting him help save a planet in need.
He was smirking. It was expressive.
He tossed me the sonic. "Setting 146." He informed, shoulders slumping in defeat.
"Thank ya kindly." I was bursting in satisfaction.
"Where's your other companion?" Rose asked, cheery. "It's about time we met her."
"She's waiting for me to give her the briefcase that's inside the safe."
"Yeah that's great, but where is she physically?" Rose pressed.
"Not here." I snorted.
"Are you still drunk?" The Doctor's voice boomed.
"Sobering and hating it." I admitted.
"Terra!"
"She's going after Kyllan, alright?"
The Doctor glared. "She's going after him? Alone?!"
"Relax. She's done it before." I rolled my eyes. The safe popped open with a loud clank. "It's what she did instead of hopscotch." I pulled out the briefcase. "Oh good! Our bags are in here too. Perfect."
"How does your friend know about Kyllan?" The Doctor argued. I threw her red handbag into mine. If she wanted it, she'd have to ask. "Better yet, how did she get here?"
"No idea." I answered curtly, throwing my bag over my shoulder. "I trust her, though. She wouldn't come to me unless there was a real danger."
"Well pardon me for saying this, but I don't trust her. You haven't told us anything about her. You've just broken into the safe of a drug lord for her, I broke you out of your dungeon, Rose nearly got captured herself-"
"She was what?!" My head snapped around to Rose, to see if there was any damage I had to have missed when I first looked at her earlier.
The Earth girl was unharmed, but she was looking off in a corner awkwardly. I guess knowing the Doctor and I weren't arguing over sexual tension made things awkward.
"-and I don't even know her name." The Doctor scolded. "I don't appreciate secrets. You've already kept too many for my taste."
Then there was all the other secrets I had been keeping from him. My Bag with weapons, my being a Time Lady, and there was the obvious I was from another reality. Logan killing his future self. Seeing his future self. My body was prepared to turn to him, to tell him all the things he wanted to know about Darcy. My secrets had endangered Rose, all the reason he needed to lash out at me. I'd lash out at him too it he hurt Darcy-
Then the image of Darcy hanging in chains, rambling in fear at the mere idea of the Doctor knowing anything about her. The fear in my sister's eyes, the panic as she pulled at chains.
With a resigned sigh, I made my decision. I turned to the Doctor with a serious expression. "You want to know why you haven't told you anything about her? Because she's a dangerous psychopath with a long history of violence. Let's move on." I marched towards the door.
"Terra, wait-"
I was halfway down the hall before I let myself start to laugh.
==CON==
It was my luck that the Doctor and Rose followed behind me. It was hard to keep from laughing.
The phone rang. I pulled it up to my ear. "Hey."
"Damn it. Thought I beat you for once." Darcy sighed over the line.
"I did warn you." I reminded her. The Doctor and Rose came up behind me. "It helps that I wasn't being followed by Buttface."
"Fair. Is Doc on your tail?"
"Yep. I'd headed to the dungeon now."
"Great. Okay. Good. Time to put my outfit to use."
"How about you don-" click "Damn her to hell."
"Terra!" The Time Lord called to me, in a slightly raised voice of anger.
"Doctor!" I called back, trying to copy Rose's English accent. Doing a half decent job, if I say so myself. "Rose!" With that one, I copied the Doctor's burly North accent.
...I have the strangest feeling I did that before. When was that? I was drunk then too...it'll come to me.
"By the way, how did you unlocked the chains in our cells?" I asked, conversationally.
The Doctor caught up with me. "Sonicked the controls." He answered. "What did you mean about-"
"How did you nearly get caught?" I asked Rose while pulling out my phone.
The blonde stared at me with hesitance. "Uhh...umm...were you being serious?"
"Yeah, I really want to know how you escaped."
"No...I mean about...your friend."
"Oh! No." I lied. "She's fine."
They visibly relaxed. There was a hurt feeling in my chest at having to lie to blatantly about Darcy. If she heard about this, she'd think I was ashamed of her. I'd never wanted her to think that.
"She's a whore." I added, after a moment's pause. They weren't so relaxed anymore. "Oh yeah. Biggest one I've ever met. Fuck's anything, for anything. If she still had it, she'd give up her virginity for a Klondike bar. Then probably fuck herself with it. Half my companions are unashamed whores. Wow, how is this my life?" I rambled.
"Does she know you call her that?" Rose gaped.
"She asks me to call her that." I explained, feeling my cheeks go an embarrassed red. "You'll see it when you meet her. She's proud of...that."
Rose stared at me with wide whiskey brown eyes. She was probably picturing someone having sex with a Klondike bar-I can't get the image out of my head and I must still be drunk because I was hungry for a Klondike bar now.
Though I knew I wouldn't like it, I glanced over at the Doctor. He was staring at me with a teasing look. "You're always getting the troublemakers."
"I hate them too." My head shook, expression changing into a dejected frown. "But they get my jokes."
"You're not as funny as you think you are."
"That's why I have people like Jack and...Carl."
"Carl?" The Doctor repeated, skeptical.
"She hates people knowing her name." Was my excuse. It was close enough to the current truth, anyway. "So Carolina, you were telling me how you were nearly caught?"
"I wasn't nearly caught. He's talking rubbish." Carolina gave me the tongue on teeth smile. "I used the psychic paper to make them think we were maintence. Worked like a charm. He was just being over dramatic."
The Doctor made a noise of dislike. That was enough to tell me Rose was right.
"Not surprised." I tsked. A devilish idea came to me, as I gave the Doctor a pout. He seemed to know what I was about to say next, giving me a disapproving look. "You're always getting the drama queens."
"Oi!"
Rose and I laughed at his misfortune.
"Alright, you lazy Brits let's get moving. We're headed to the dungeon. Carl called to tell me that's where she took Kyllan." I revealed.
"We should get going." The Doctor voiced. "Who knows what those two have done to him."
I started bouncing on the balls of my feet as we snuck our way back. Avoiding the guards who were searching for their leader and might want us dead.
"I'm gonna enjoy this. I won't be outnumbered anymore." I cheered. "More Americans than Brits. This birthday is goin' great."
Rose laughed. The Doctor tapped my shoulder. "Are they in your cell?"
I nodded. "They'd never expect us to hide him in there."
==CON==
I know we made it back to the dungeon. I know there were at least fifteen knocked out guards on the floor. Some of them had been chained up in the other cells around our's, others left lying about on the ground. They weren't dead. Some would have killer headaches (and a broken leg in one case) otherwise they'd be fine.
Walking into the dungeon, I felt a sense of justice at seeing Kyllan in my old chains. Darcy had him kneeling on the ground, he didn't like it by his intense snarling at my sister. He was wearing a gag out of what I can only guess were Jack's socks. A quick peek showed that, yeah, Jack was missing his socks.
"So then, right, the sprinklers go off. Everyone is getting soaked. Party's over." Darcy was telling Jack. It took me a while to figure out what story she was telling. "Until our girl grabs the mic and shouts 'wet t-shirt party!' and takes off-"
"Carl!" I snapped. The Doctor and Rose walked in. The Doctor stood beside me, while Rose stood beside him. "I told you to never speak of it again!"
Jack frowned at me. "It was a good story. Supposed to have a happy ending."
My sister snorted into her hand. Kyllan shouted in nonsense behind his sock gag. He was glaring at me, and the briefcase.
"You must be the mystery companion." The Time Lord kept a keen eye on the assassin.
She tensed under the stare. "That's me. Yeah. Companion. Her's." She waved a nervous arm at me. Darcy added a shaky grin. "Carl. That's what she called me. Because-" It turned to a tired and confused stare. "Carl? Seriously? You named me after that stupid llama?!" My sister hissed.
"It fit." I shrugged, tossing her the metal case. She caught it happily. "Happy belated birthday. It was last month right?"
"Have a drink in my honor?" She asked quietly.
"Went to a nightclub, actually. With a caveman." I informed, happily.
Darcy whistled. "Funny. That's how I spent it." She shook her head at me, biting her lip with a smile. "First an alcoholic, now a party girl. I'm so proud of you."
"Shut up, Carl."
"I love when you say my name like that."
I blushed.
"I love when I say something innocent and you automatically go to sex." Darcy commented. She walked up to my free side, throwing an arm over my shoulder. I grimaced. "Not even any foreplay. Shame."
She guided me away from the Doctor and Rose, towards the right hand side of the room. Why was she so nervous around the Doctor too? Just what happened in the Year? Did she laugh at his sticky uppy hair and he got stroppy or something?
"Sorry. Am I the only one that sees an alien chained to the floor?" Rose asked. "After how hard I worked to get them unlocked."
Kyllan shouted beneath the socks.
"Hey!" Darcy whacked his head. "Told ya to shut up!"
"That's the guy yeah?" Rose asked. "I remember his portrait."
"That's Kyllan Deoh'ass." The Doctor nodded.
"Renowned drug lord in the thirty-seventh century." Jack added. He "Apparently he expanded his trade to Clillian minors."
The Doctor's eyes narrowed on Jack, before turning to glare coldly at Kyllan. The blue alien didn't have the decency to look ashamed. My sister held my neck harder.
Rose didn't understand. "Minors? As in kids?"
"Got it in one, Rosie." Jack answered grimly.
"The Clillies are easily influenced in their youth." The Doctor began. "They're frontal lobes continue to develop long after they're burn. It doesn't stop developing until adulthood. The kind of drugs this man is selling, they're the kind that could damage that development."
"It's like killing them." Darcy quickly interjected before hiding behind my shoulder again. "With drugs."
"Yeah. It's bad." I agreed. "It's like crack, ecstasy, and I think some weird flower. A lot of the people taking it already died."
Rose gasped. She turned to the Doctor, waiting for his solemn nod before glaring at Kyllan. "That's sick!"
Kyllan shouted.
"That means 'pay was good'." Darcy translated. "I speak Gag-block." Rose blushed.
I giggled. "You've had practice." She whacked the back of my head. "You're violent tonight."
"If I'm so violent can I complete my work, Paul?" She whispered in my ear.
I snorted. It was had to keep it from being too loud when I was still a bit drunk. "Down Carl." I ordered. My hand reached out to pat her hand. "I told them you were a whore, by the way."
"You did what?"
"That or a psychopath."
"One or the other, or you can't remember which?"
"I said both...probably."
"Great. Thanks a bunch." Darcy grumbled. "I hate drunk you now. You can't remember anything."
"You're going to stop all drug trade to the planet of Clilles M5I2." The Doctor ordered. "You're never going to step foot there again. You got that?"
The blue alien smirked, chuckling at us. He stuck out his bottom lip. "'Oh. I'm so scared. The big bad man in the tacky leather jacket is shouting at me.'" Darcy translated. She snorted softly. "This'll be good."
The Doctor's tactics weren't working. Time for the birthday girl to have a go.
I lifted Darcy's arm off me. My feet stormed up to his kneeling body. My hand grabbed his coat collar, pulling Kyllan up so he had no choice than to look into my eyes. I ripped out the socks, tossing them back to Jack.
"Listen to me, asswipe." I growled in a low tone. Kyllan stared at me in fearful surprise. 'Gotcha.' "You are going to leave. Now."
Kyllan tried to brace himself. Puffing up his chest, he tried to get what little authority he could. "See here you delinquent-"
My hand squeezed on his collar, pulling him up higher until the only thing he could look at was my eyes.
Kyllan clapped his mouth shut. The prongs on the sides of his mouth twitched and clicked.
"Was I unclear?" I barked into his face. "I said, now."
The blue alien squeaked in fear. "Y-Yes ma'am. Please don't hurt me."
"Okay. Who else thought that was awesome?" Darcy asked the room.
==CON==
Darcy told a little white lie to sister. She didn't spend her last birthday partying. Darcy didn't think it was a big deal. It was just another birthday. She was going to be alive for a long time, there would be a hundred more birthdays.
She had called the Guardians, telling them her mission was complete. They'd be there in an hour.
In that hour, Darcy showed Team TARDIS how wild Terra would get when properly drunk.
Darcy had bought a bottle of whiskey (with the Doctor's card. He wasn't using it anyway). She gave it to her sister. While reciting Rule 44, Terra chugged it down. Darcy loved it when her sister flipped that rule the bird. The assassin learned a bit during the Year about Time Lord alcohol limits. She had it to a science now.
Jack loved it when Terra started dancing on the table, dragging Rose up with her. The Doctor was happy too, despite his constant scowl.
Darcy couldn't get herself to relax. She was following Rule 44 for once in her life. Maybe turning thirty-three made her mature. It was the majority age for Hobbits, that might have something to do with it.
Darcy hated growing up.
When it was time for her to go, dragging the briefcase and Kyllan with her, Darcy made a sappy goodbye with her sister. The Doctor and Rose were out on the dance floor. Jack having dragged the lot of them onto it.
"Will I ever find out what happened to you?" Terra asked. Her constantly sharp eyes were glassy now, focusing and unfocusing on Darcy tiredly. Her words were slurred. Her breathing was slow, as if she would fall asleep in the middle of a sentence.
Darcy's eyes went sad. "Yeah. You find out." She admitted. She wished her sister didn't. She knew how protective her sister was. When Terra finds out what happened in the Year, Darcy doubts Terra will let Darcy out of her sight.
Terra just grinned stupidly. Drunkenly. How fucked was it that she'd only seen this Terra happy when she was drunk? "Cool. I like knowing things."
"I know you do, Yellow." Darcy punched her arm. Terra giggled. "Fucking know-it-all."
"Fucking...haven't done that." Her head drooped, as if falling asleep. Terra snored, which startled her into waking up. "That's what I told Rose! She thought I was fucking Magoo."
Darcy gagged.
"I know!" Terra shouted, eyes wide in understanding. "I set her straight. Hope she and Magoo make out now. That'd make me happy. Course, she has to break up with Mickey first. We'll be going to Boom Town soon so that's...nice...I like Boom Town. It had that cool word. And the Bad Wolf."
Oh, Darcy can't believe she had forgotten to tell her that. "You know the name of the drug he was giving kids?"
"Nope." She popped.
"It was called lupus malum." Darcy revealed.
"...that's not funny." Terra chuckled.
"What are you two crazy kids talking about?" Jack asked, draping his arm over Terra's shoulders. Terra giggled hugging Jack back.
Okay, Darcy liked that about Drunk Terra. She liked hugs.
"Just saying good bye. I'm headed out." Darcy admitted. "I wanna stay for the rest of her birthday, but I have stupid jobs. They probably won't give me leave if I tell them it's for my sister's birthday."
"That's sad." Terra complained. "I like spending birthdays with you. You make me do the fun stuff. Not that tonight wasn't fun, Buttface." My sister's expression broke out into an unwilling smile. "But next year, I'm gonna have a lie-in 'kay? Watch a movie, eat popcorn?"
Jack laughed. Darcy watched with a bittersweet smile. She made her way out, able to hear the last bits of conversation.
"We never gave you your gift."
"We stopped a drug lord selling to kids. That's a good gift. You give the best gifts, Buttface."
"We made apple pie. It's in the TARDIS kitchen."
"Yes!"
"It's worthy of a goddess."
"It was just an apple pie!"
Darcy felt a smile under her worried frown.
She had to sneak Kyllan out, walking up to the meeting point with Drax. She waited until Moonshine was out of her eyesight before angrily dragging Kyllan around.
He made a shout of protest. The assassin tossed him into the dirt, making sure he would land on his shoulder. She hoped it hurt.
She looked down at the blue alien. "I don't know why they sent me here. They said I just had to stop you no matter what." She opened her purse, pulling out a dagger.
Kyllan's eyes widened in fear.
"They seem to know what I like, how I work." Darcy explained. Her expression turned angry as she stared at the dagger. "They gave me this when I left. For whatever reason, the Guardians of the Galaxy want you dead and they want the files in this briefcase." Darcy stated. "We take cases against children as a personal slight. I'm surprised they just want a simple stabbing and don't want your dick on a wall."
Kyllan, still scared he was going to die, started growling. "They'll never get them! Those files will burn without the proper key."
"That'd be a problem, yeah, except wasn't that the same for your safe?" Darcy challenged. "And those cells? I got out, my friends got out. Not to mention I took our twenty guards without setting off a single alarm. Your club is still going on as if I was never there. If I can do that, how easy can I get into this case?"
"It's impossible."
"Right. Because it needs, what, your eye print?" Darcy asked. "Fingerprints? DNA lock? I can get past those."
Before she got her answer, she stuck her knife into his neck. Kyllan choked. Dark blue blood started pouring from his neck.
"See? Got DNA right here." The assassin pulled the dagger out. More blood poured out. Kyllan collapsed to the ground, his dark blue blood starting to pool around him.
Darcy moved the blade over the lock. She let some drops fall onto the digital lock. It beeped for a moment, testing the DNA. It glowed green just as Kyllan let out his final choked gasps.
"Huh. Didn't think that would work at first." Darcy admitted. She shrugged. "Happy coincidence, then."
The assassin lowered the briefcase down, opening the top to find a whole lot of paperwork inside. She pulled it all out, rolling it up to stuff into her purse. Her sister had made the small handbag bigger on the inside. It could fit in the paperwork.
Darcy Anderson closed the clasp on her bag. She ran out of the alleyway, leaving the corpse of a drug lord behind.
This wasn't her first time doing so.
==CON==
AN: FIVE MONTHS I AM SO SORRY! ALSO NOT DEAD! I HAVE NO EXCUSE FOR TAKING SO LONG!
The Das thing is from the Doctor Who book 'Only Human'. I had to buy a book where Jack runs through someplace naked. This chapter was overall a pain, because Terra just wouldn't let me write her a birthday party!
BUT NOW I CAN FINALLY GET TO BOOM TOWN! YESSSSSS!
I've been obsessed over Merlin, Sherlock, the Hobbit, and OUAT for the past few months. And I've gotten new babysitting jobs that pay really well. Also I'm starting up my college classes after a year off. Getting the math and science credits in. Yay!
It's gonna hurt to say goodbye to Peter Capaldi. But I want to accept the 13th Doctor with an open heart. Let's not be all so down in the dumps!