Louis' POV
"He would've come but he had plans with Chantelle today." Liam answered Zayn's question. He raised an eyebrow. "Oh uh, Chantelle's his girlfriend." he explained. Zayn nodded, sitting beside Harry on the bed and flicking his forehead. Harry pouted at him and Zayn chuckled. I bit my lip hard, trying not to look at where Harry was. I think Liam noticed.
"Alright, how about Zayn you come with me and we can do something." Liam blurted out. Zayn cocked his head at him. "And Harry and Lou can do whatever. A group of four is too much for me." He said and I could easily tell he was lying.
I starred up at him with wide eyes. "Liam." I growled quietly, so only he could hear me.
"Just give him a chance." He whispered.
"You don't get it through." I sighed. Because really, he didn't get it. He doesn't know the real reason why I can't stand to be with Harry. He doesn't know what happened before he moved to his school, even Niall doesn't know.
"Okay." Zayn said, tapping Liam's shoulder. "How about we go out back." Zayn suggested and Liam nodded reticently. He gave me one last smile but all I did was glare at him and they left the room. Why is he doing this? He knew very well that I don't like Harry and that I want to spend as less time with him as possible but he chooses to leave me alone with him and think it's ok. I don't understand why he can't accept it and move on. I don't care if he's friends with Zayn or even Harry for the matter but I shouldn't have to if I don't want to. I've tried to warn Liam that they're not all good guys but being the nice guy he is, he chooses to see the best in people.
Liam and I's friendship is actually very strange. We argue constantly because we have completely different aspects. He is the more sensible, smart one and can be very strict, while I'm the complete opposite. I like to have fun, do silly things that I should get in trouble for but I get away with and not care about what anyone thinks of me. But I think the two personalities work well together in a way because we both level each other out. I help him loosen up, while he helps me be a bit less reckless when I need to be. "Are you going to talk to me or just going to stand there?" Harry asked, lying down watching me from the bed.
"I don't have anything to say to you." I replied.
"Oh come on Louis." He pleaded, sitting up. "You can't just hate me for the rest of your life." He stated.
"Watch me." I hissed back. He sighed, obviously annoyed at the way I was acting, but I didn’t care.
"He looked down at his hands when he spoke. “Do you know how hard it's been for me?" He paused but I didn't say anything and he continued. "Pretending to not know who you are. Pretending that we've never spoken to each other before. Pretending, when it comes to anything about you. It's hard Louis." He looked at me with those big emerald eyes I have forced myself not to be sucked in by. "Do you honestly not wish that things turned out differently?" He asked.
I chuckled darkly. "Of course I fucking wish things turned out differently! Do you honestly believe I wanted it to happen that way?" I asked irritated.
"Well you could at least try to talk to me like we used to. I'm trying, I really am." He mumbled.
"Can you blame me Harry? Can you?" I raised my voice, throwing my hands in the air in frustration. He flinched back but stayed seated. "I've tried to get over it, I have but whenever I think I finally don't care about it, the pictures pop up in my mind again, each time making me feel worse." Tears threatened to fall but I held them back.
"I'm sorry Lou, I am. But I miss you." He stood up then, walking towards me but I stepped back and he stopped in place, a couple steps in front of me. "What can I do to change things?" He asked.
"Nothing." I told him flatly. I took a deep breath. "Harry when we went out last year and at the start of the year, those used to be my happiest memories. Heck they still are." I smiled to myself, as the days we kept secret from everyone came into my mind. "How long were we together for?" I asked him.
"You don't remember?" He asked with a frown.
"No, I do remember." I replied.
"We were together for 6 months, 1 week and 3 days." He answered. "I'd never been so happy with anyone in my life." My heart swelled and I just wanted to forgive him and give in but I couldn't, I had to keep my ground.
"And you were the one to ruin it for the both of us, though it seemed like it didn't bother you." I said bitterly.
"Louis, I didn't mean to hurt you. It was a mistake." He told me.
"So you just fell into bed with a girl, is that how it was?" I asked sarcastically.
"I had to Louis." He yelled. "I had to, otherwise people would know. Zayn was the one who set me up with her, I couldn't just say no. He would've figured it out and we both didn't want that to happen. Just see it from my point of view. I'm Harry Styles, Louis. I'm the guy who flirts, sleeps with girls, goes out to parties, gets drunk and does stupid things. I couldn't just change that because we were together." He tried to reason but to me he was just making it worse.
"No Harry!" I screamed. "I can't see it from your point of view because all I could see was the one person I truly loved, being with other girls. I was okay with you flirting and hooking up with girls because I knew that’s the only way we could keep us a secret and for us to work out, even though it was the hardest thing I had to see and continue to see throughout our whole relationship." Tears started falling down my cheeks and Harry looked at me with such a heartbreaking look, I couldn't even look at him anymore. "I was okay with all of that because I wanted to be with you Harry." I continued. "You were the first person I have ever told I loved." I whispered. "I had been with people before but never have I once felt the way I felt for them as I did for you."
"Lou." Harry chocked out.
"Let me finish." I said. I started and I might as well get it all off my chest when I have the chance. "You told me you loved me Harry and I thought you meant it. But then you go sleep with someone else? Was I not good enough for you, is that what it was? I just wasn't good enough." I repeated, as small tears continued to fall. "We didn't tell anyone we were together. Not then, not now and we never will because it would ruin you. That's why we never told anyone, right? Because you're popularity would slip because you're gay or bisexual?"
"I'm sorry" Was all he managed to say.
"And it's been this long and now is the time you tell me you miss me. It's been 3 months." I remarked.
"I know and I'm sorry. But are you forgetting the constant times I tried to call you and text you. I came to your house continuously to try and explain but you never once let me. I missed you from the moment you told me it was over between us and I still miss you now." He took a step closer but I kept still, not physically being able to move. I was stuck on the spot.
Harry's POV
"Can't we just try one more time? When Liam came to the school and you became friends with him, it was the perfect opportunity for me to get close to you. Why do you think Zayn hasn't beat the crap out of him, like he normally would if someone new came along? Getting Zayn to get close to Liam was the only way I could talk to you again. The way I act in school is just...it's an act. If you give me one more chance I promise not to make the same mistake as I did last time." I stepped closer again, expecting him to move back but he stayed where he was, looking at me. "Because that was the worst mistake I've ever made." I admitted.
"I don't think I can do it again" Louis said quietly.
"Why?" I asked almost pleadingly.
"Because I've taught myself to hate you, though I know I still love you. My heart has been broken ever since. You seemed to go on with life. You were and still are popular, you're the 'ladies’ man' and you've got everything you possibly need. While I'm just the kid that no one notices. I can't go through what I went through with you because it tore me apart and it has taken me all this time to get to the point where I am now. I cried and I cried and I cried and I regretted never taking you back because I was in so much pain that at the time I couldn't care less what you had done. But after going through it in my head a thousand times, I knew that we wouldn't have worked out anyway. We come from two different groups." He explained.
I stared down into his blue watery eyes, regretting everything I had done. He is so beautiful and I hurt him so much and for what? My popularity? "Louis, I'm so sorry." I said softly. I brought my hand to his face, caressing his cheek. I took my other hand, reaching out and holding his. I stroked his knuckled with my thumb, feeling old sensations of tingles run up and down my body from just the feeling of his skin on mine. He seemed too shocked to do anything but look at me. "Just try."
"I ca-can't" He stuttered.
"Yes you can babe. I'll help you through it." I took my hand away from his and placed both hands on each side of his face. I carefully wiped away the left over tears with my thumbs. Leaning in closer to him, I hesitated as I heard his breath hitch. His posture didn't change and I was now so close to him I could feel his hot breath and the smell of his minty breath on my lips. "No one has to know." I whispered.
I closed my eyes and leaning in all the way, I connected my lips with his. At first he didn't respond, so I nudged my lips harder to his, hoping for some type of response. I was about to pull back when his lips started moving together with my own. His lips were exactly the way I remembered them being. They were rough like a boys lips are, yet so soft; the perfect combination. Sparks were going off everywhere and I knew he felt it to because this kiss wasn't just another snog, it was slow and passionate and it meant something to the both of us. It was a kiss we had been needing and wanting for so long. He tasted so sweet. I caught his top lip between mine, sucking gently on it. I moved my lips against Louis' and my heart skipped a beat as the memories of us together flooded back.
Louis ran his tongue across my bottom lip. I parted my lips, allowing Louis’ tongue to slip into my mouth. He explored my mouth and a moan escaped the back of my throat in pleasure. His arms slung around my neck and mine found their way to his sides. I slid my hands up and down, digging my nails into his sides. I moved forward, until Louis was pinned back against the wall. The butterflies in the pit of my stomach were going crazy and I could feel my heart beat accelerate. Louis moaned loudly, causing myself to smirk. He is so damn hot.
We pulled apart for some much needed air and rested our foreheads upon each other’s. Both our breathing was uneven and shaky. Moments pasted and no words were said. I couldn’t wrap my head around everything and I didn’t know what to say except. “That was amazing.”
Louis gulped looking into my eyes. “It was.” He whispered. A smile found its way onto my face but didn’t stay there for long. Louis pushed me back weakly. “I’m sorry Harry. I can’t do this. Not again.”
“Louis please.” I begged, taking his hand but he drew back.
“This was a bad idea. I should’ve never come.” He muttered to himself.
“Boo ple-“
“Don’t call me that.” He shook his head. “I need to…I need to go.” And without another word he left. I wanted to go after him but I knew I shouldn’t.
My fingers traced my lips, the feeling of Louis' lips still fresh. I smiled; I actually smiled because even though he isn't here now I know he feels the same way. I'm going to get him back though. I miss him. I made a stupid mistake and have regretted it ever since. I allowed my reputation to take control and forget what's more important, which is Louis. I walked to my bed, jumping face first onto it. I groaned, grabbing a pillow and shoving it under my face. Why did I have to be so stupid? He watched me every day with girls and had to pretend it was okay, that was hard enough for him but then I had to sleep with someone. Seeing how his eyes filled with tears caused my heart to break, I couldn't imagine what he was like after the break up.
The hardest thing would've been keeping it a secret but what Louis had said really got to me. ‘We wouldn't have lasted, not then, not now, not in the future because I knew my popularity would slip and I was worried about how people would see me. We are from two completely different groups.’ That is true but I think this time around we can beat it. I wouldn't do things the same way because I don't want what happened last time to happen again. Six months. Six months we were together. The fact we even got together was a surprise to the both of us but it was always a funny story.
I was lost in my thought that I didn't even realise the door had opened. Zayn jumped beside me on the bed, giving me fright. "Jesus Zayn, way to give someone a heart attack." I laughed, sitting up, but instead of joining in the laugh he gave me an odd look.
"What's wrong Harry?" He asked.
"Nothing. Why would something be wrong?" I said quickly, probably too quickly.
He chuckled. "Harry I know you better than that. You can't hide things from me." He said.
"But I actually can." I muttered, but of course, he heard.
"What are you hiding then?" He asked. Shit. I just shook my head, not being able to come up with an excuse of an answer quick enough. He sighed, running a hand through his hair. "I know it's something to do with Louis, so please just tell me."
I bit my lip, not knowing whether I should tell him or not. He would hate me. Not because I'm Bisexual but because I kept my relationship with Louis a secret from him for 6 months. I might as well tell him. I won't tell him everything of course, just the main point. "I...I like Louis." I said quietly. I wasn't lying because I do like Louis, I just wasn't telling him the rest of it.
"Well finally." Zayn breathed out.
"What?" I asked him confused. He just gave me a smile and walked over to my desk, picking something off from the chair. He turned and threw it over to me. My diary.
"You left it here." Zayn shrugged. “I didn't want to read it because I knew it was personal but I'm your best friend and thought 'hey, Harry tells me everything, there will be nothing in here that he hasn't told me yet' and I was right except for the Louis thing. It’s nearly filled with just what happened with Louis and how you feel." He smiled sympathetically. "Sorry I went through it." He apologised.
I shook my head, taking the diary in my hand and wiping the cover. "Nah don't be. If it was anyone else I would be pissed and upset but I should’ve told you anyway and it saves me from explaining everything." I nervously chuckled. "So you don't hate me?" I asked.
"Pft of course I do." I said and I swear my heart stopped beating. "But only when you use all my hot water and I can't have a shower in the morning when you stay over." He added. I breathed a sigh of relieve. "I always thought you were partly gay anyway." He commented.
"Hmm yeah, some of the things I do can seem pretty gay so I'm not going to argue." I responded. He laughed and ruffled my hair.
"So are you going to tell me what happened today?" He asked me.
"It's a long story." I warned.
"Well, I have no plans anymore, so you might as well tell me what happened. I got all day now." He smirked. I punched him in the shoulder and began the story of recent events.
"So after you and Liam left...
I didn’t want to make it a Ziam and Larry story, I just wanted it to be a Ziam with a side of Larry but I’ll see where the story goes from here…so plot twist…Harry and Louis used to go out. I don’t know if any of you guessed or not but either way I hope you liked the chapter :)