-Carmen Silvers Point Of View-
Austin didn't show up to school Tuesday, just like he said. And he didn't show up Wednesday, Thursday or Friday. I saw him after school everyday though for when we went into the forest, me to practice Changing and him to try and feed.
I knew he had to feed...soon. Every day he looked worse and worse; his skin grew paler almost taking on a sickly pasty color, as if he were a corpse. His silver eyes were more sunken in and he looked exhausted. He was running out of energy from no blood quickly, and I'm sure if he didn't feed soon he was going to die.
Which is why after another failed attempt at trying to feed Friday afternoon I stomped over to his house Saturday afternoon with determination. He was going to drink today. Even if I had to force it down his throat myself.
I knocked on the front door and waited impatiently for him to answer it. When he finally did I glared at him.
"You're feeding today," I stated coolly. "Whether you want to or not you're drinking blood. Even if I have to make you."
He sighed, looking down at the floor as he stepped out of his house and closed and locked the door behind him.
We walked to the forest; he had no energy left inside him to run. As it were, walking seemed to be a struggle. I let him lean on me as we walked to the forest in silence before we went inside.
"You're not leaving this forest until you drink something," I said sternly.
"I can try again tomorrow," he said tiredly, rubbing his eyes.
"Austin you can't go on like this," I hissed, "You look like a walking corpse; you need blood. If you don't drink you're going to die. Do you want to die?"
He flinched at my harsh tone but I didn't care; my patience was wearing thin. He needed to drink. It didn't matter that he loathed the idea. He had to. Or else I was going to lose him. And after last time...I couldn't take it.
"No," he said, looking at me with half open eyes, "I don't want to die. I just..." he shook his head, "Never mind. I'll see you later."
With that he turned and stumbled off while I watched after him. I sighed before I jogged off to my clearing.
Once I was Changed I took off, trying to burn off all my restless energy while keeping my mind occupied from the fact that I was still alone. I chased after random animals, learning their scents and movements and sounds for a long while before I went to find Austin. I peered through the bushes quietly, staying downwind so I wouldn't startle him in case he'd found something.
I was shocked to find him with a wounded fox. I watched silently, feeling horrible. The fox was clearly in pain and blood was oozing from his side. I knew Austin hadn't done that; there were claw marks through its side.
Austin was shaking, cradling the wounded fox in his arms, eyes closed as he shook.
"I'm sorry," he whispered brokenly, voice cracking as he stroked the fox's auburn fur.
I saw him dip his head down while the fox let out a horrible whine like noise so filled with pain it made my heart twist. I saw his lips part and I wished with all my heart that he would do it; bite the fox and drain it, just to put it out of its misery.
It would be good deed; not something to guilty about. He would be helping the fox and that wasn't something that was.
But then he pulled away, hand over his mouth as he cradled the fox with his other arm. His eyes were squeezed shut tightly while the fox continued to whine pitifully, tugging on my heart strings. Austin tried again, getting close enough to bite before he pulled away. I watched him do it a few times, his own body trembling while the fox's cries got weaker and weaker.
He gave up then; he set the fox down on its side on the snow, stroking its coarse fur, avoiding the bloody spots. I shook my head and stepped forward silently, head low to the ground.
He looked up at me, silver eyes looking watery and guilty, "I can't do it," he whispered, "I tried. I can't."
I stared at him, blinking slowly. I wasn't angry. I was just disappointed. There was only so much time he had left. I went walked forward carefully until my nose was just shy of the fox's nose. It's wide, pain filled brown eyes begged me to end its suffering and I felt horrible seeing it suffer like it was.
So I squeezed my eyes shut tightly and closed my jaws around its throat. I bit down lightly and heard the sickening crunch of its bones breaking in my mouth. Its tense body fell limp in my jaws and I gently lay it down on the snow on its side.
I looked down at the fox's closed eyes and knew it was dead and in a better place. The blood that flowed from the wound slowed since there was no heart beat to pump the blood quickly out of the wound.
I looked up at Austin with sad eyes, a small whine starting at the back of my throat as I butted his shoulder with the tip of my nose.
He leaned forward and wrapped his arms around my thick neck tightly, burying his face in my thick fur, "I'm so sorry," he whispered shakily, "I should have done it. You shouldn't have had to do it."
I could only sigh before I pulled away slightly. I nudged his chest with my muzzle once before I started to walk around him to leave. That was enough for today.
As I circled around the body of the fox I bowed my head and touched my muzzle to its side for a moment, saying a quick prayer for it before I walked into the forest. I didn't regret what I'd done; but I still couldn't shake off my morbid mood. I got back to my clearing and Changed back after a long while, finding it difficult to focus. Once I was Changed I got dressed and met up with Austin and we left the forest.
I hated to have to do this, but there was no other way. He had to feed. And if he wouldn't drink from animals, humans or blood banks then we'd have to resort to something else.
I helped him home and we went up to his room and crawled into his bed while I chewed my lip, thinking about what I had to do while my stomach twisted with nerves.
"I'm sorry about before," he said quietly, wrapping his arms loosely around me. I suspect it's because he didn't have the energy to hold me tightly. It made my heart break to see him look so pitiful and broken.
"It's okay," I licked my dry lips, swallowing hard before I continued, "I have an idea."
He looked at me with dull eyes, "What kind of idea?"
I took a breath, "I want you to drink from me," I blurted before I held my breath, worrying.
He blinked, a familiar spark lighting up his empty eyes, "No."
"Austin you have to drink; you won't drink from animals, or from humans and stealing from blood banks are out of the question," I explained, "Drink from me. I know you won't hurt me and you won't kill me. And if I feel you taking too much I can stop you. I'm strong enough to stop you if anything gets out of hand."
"NO," he shook his head furiously, "I don't want to do that to you. I love you Carmen; you're my soul mate, not dinner."
"Austin," I begged, taking his cold hands, "Please. It's not like that. I hate seeing you like this; you'redying."
"I'm fine," he said curtly, looking away.
"No you're not," I touched his cheek, "Look at you. You look sick; you can't come to school, you're exhausted and have no energy. You need blood. Just drink from me."
He turned his head back to me, eyes searching mine, "But what if I hurt you? What if I kill you?"
"What if you don't?" I countered, "I know you won't hurt me intentionally; and like I said I'm strong enough to stop you. Trust me."
I could see him wavering, "I know I don't smell appetizing, being a werewolf and all, and I'm sorry if my blood isn't amazing...but it's this or we go back to the forest."
He stared at me, hand covering his mouth. I saw his silver eyes start to turn red before he squeezed them shut.
"Close your eyes," he hissed, muffled by his hand, "I don't want you to see me like this."
"I don't care," I said soothingly, going to uncover his mouth.
"I do," he shook his head, scooting back with his hand still covering his mouth, "Lie down and close your eyes."
"Why do I have to lie down?" I asked as I did so, head on his soft pillow that smelled like him.
"You have to be relaxed. It won't hurt as much if you're relaxed when I-" he cut off, shuddering.
I bit my lip before I closed my eyes, focusing on being relaxed, on keeping my breathing even, even though my heart was hammering in my chest.
"I'm ready," I breathed.
For a long moment it was silent, and then his sheets rustled slightly and I felt the mattress dip as he moved. He straddled my waist before he leaned down, brushing my hair away from my neck.
"If it hurts or anything tell me to stop, okay?" he asked quietly, worriedly.
"I will," I whispered, "Don't worry about it. The only thing you have to think about is me. My blood."
His breathing grew shallow and I smelt his cool, sweet breath as he lowered his head. I felt him trembling slightly as his lips brushed my neck. He kept them pressed against my neck for a moment before he jerked away.
"Take your time," I advised, keeping my eyes closed, "Just relax. It's just the two of us, together. Everything's fine because it's just us."
I heard him take a breath before he tried again, moving slower than before as he moved his lips up my neck. His lips parted and I felt his tongue dart out and draw across my skin before it slid to the right towards my pulse. I felt my heart jump and I knew he felt it, and heard it, when it did. I continued to breathe deeply though, staying relaxed as I felt his teeth graze my neck, two sharper points drawing across my skin. He pulled away slightly, breathing hard but he was still close, only an inch away. Definite improvement.
"It's okay," I breathed, "Everything's going to be okay," I assured him, "It's just us. It's just me."
He pressed his lips against my neck again and I heard him swallow hard.
"That's it," I said softly, "You're almost there. It's not so bad, is it?"
He didn't answer, and I didn't expect him too. I felt his lips part again, tongue searching for my pulse until he found it. I felt him nibbling on it lightly, biting down hard enough to feel it but light enough not to break skin.
My breathing hitched and I struggled to keep it nice and even but I felt it starting to get choppy. It wasn't fear; it was adrenaline. Excitement. Curiosity. What was it going to feel like?
I felt him hesitate, almost as if he was testing his control before he bit down a little bit harder, again not breaking skin.
"I trust you," I whispered.
And that seemed to convince him. He bit down harder, fangs and teeth piercing through the flesh on my neck straight into my main artery. I gasped in shock, not pain, as his hand came up to cradle the back of my neck and head, holding me to his lips. Warmth seemed to emit from his mouth into my neck as he drank and my world spun behind my closed eyelids in a crazy kaleidoscope of colours. Seductive purples, dark blacks and romantic scarlet colours. Blood red.
I moaned in pleasure, feeling the strange warmth from my neck shoot to other parts of my body, making me feel heated all over. I squirmed underneath him, managing to manoeuvre myself in a way that I could wrap my legs around his waist and press against him hard. He let out a muffled moan at the back of his throat as he continued drink my blood. His hips jerked against me and I knew he was feeling the pleasure from this as well.
His hands came down to my shirt, unbuttoning it quickly and efficiently before he struggled to push it off me. He slid a hand under my back and together we pulled it off before he tossed it away. His hands ran up and down my bare stomach, lips still attached to my neck before he trailed them down to the waistband of my jeans. His fingers danced across the waistband until they came to the center, undoing the button and the zipper. I let go of my hold on his waist, lifting my hips under him so he could help me shimmy them off. Our hands worked in a jerky quick fashion, as if we were trying to get it off quickly, desperately, but doing it too fast to be effective.
Once it was off I heaved a sigh a relief before he bit down harder, breaking off my sigh halfway into a loud moan. No fair. His body arched up in pleasure and I reached down for the zipper of his pants. I unzipped them quickly and struggled to get them off.
"Austin," I moaned breathlessly. I wanted to feel him against me. No barriers. And his jeans and shirt were most definitely a big barrier. He unhooked himself from my neck but the feelings inside didn't stop; my body felt heated from the inside out and I was shaking furiously, dying to finish off this incredible feeling. He yanked his pants off and his shirt before he shot back to me in record time.
He settled between my legs quickly, lips going back to my neck. Instead of biting down again he licked the blood seeping out of my neck, lapping up every last drop as he jerked his hips against me, hands sliding down my waist to my hips. He hooked his fingers in the sides of my panties as he licked my neck, still moving against me furiously.
"Austin," I gasped, back arching up.
He moved his lips from my neck to my own lips, both of them crashing against each other as I tasted my blood on his lips. With both of us worrying about him having to feed we hadn't been intimate or anything for the entire week and I hadn't noticed how much I missed it.
I wasn't sure if he got enough blood but he certainly felt better. He felt stronger, warmer, more alive than he had all week. And to say I was glad would be an understatement.
I felt the fingers hooked in my underwear inch down, taking my panties with them slowly. For some reason I froze, hands shooting down to clap over his hands. He pulled away from me, panting hard and his eyes were bright.
"Sorry," he panted, taking his hands off my hips, not before re-adjusting my underwear again though, "I didn't-"
"It's okay," I said, "Now shut up and get back here," I tangled my fingers in his hair before I yanked him down to me, trying to get over my own disappointment. Why wasn't I ready? What the hell was wrong with me? I want this. I want this so bad it was almost an ache. But then why did I freeze up like that?
Austin must have known I was disappointed, and guilty, because he started working harder, trying to get me distracted. He bit down on my lower lip, almost hard enough to break through the skin while his hands slid down to between my legs. I shook my head slightly; I wanted to feel him as much as I could. I took his hands and put them on my shoulders before I slung my arms around his neck and plunged my fingers through his thick hair. He ran his hands up, one hand cradling the back of my neck while the other hand held my waist.
His hips jerked and I moaned into his mouth before I slid a hand down his strong back, my nails digging into the muscles tightly in pleasure. Mission Accomplished; I was completely distracted that I couldn't even think.
He kept moving, harder and faster against me, the pleasure inside me building up until it just burst like a damn with both of us gasping and moaning loudly. As my pleasure filled haze cleared Austin collapsed slightly on top of me while keeping the weight off. He nuzzled my neck as I tried to get my breath back, both of us panting and sweating and shaking but we were both smiling.
"That was interesting," he remarked.
I let out a breathless laugh, "I told you it couldn't feel all the bad to drink."
"Well if I bit a deer and I felt like that...that'd be kind of weird," he teased.
"Oh God," I laughed again, "That's disgusting."
He kissed my clammy forehead, "I doubt it feels quite like that when biting an animal. If it does I don't think I want to ever bite an animal."
I sniffed, "I'm an animal."
"Not right now you're not, so that technically doesn't count," he said, wagging a finger at me while his silver eyes danced. He looked better than he had in a week, back to his old normal self again. Who knew blood came make him like that so quickly?
"Still," I pouted. He dipped his head to kiss me quickly before he pulled away and shook his head.
"No offence, but you really don't smell appetizing," he chuckled.
"Thanks," I said sarcastically, rolling my eyes, "Taste wise?"
A lazy grin touched his lips, "Delicious."
"Good, but don't you get any ideas. You're going to have to learn how to hunt properly," I said firmly.
"I know," he sighed, "But I don't want to think about that right now," he rolled off of me but pulled me against his side.
I caught sight of his cheek and saw my blood smeared there. I pursed my lips, trying not to laugh. He caught my look and frowned, "What?"
I licked my thumb and wiped the blood off his cheek, "Someone's messy," I teased as I showed him my bloody thumb.
He dipped his head and licked the blood off, shuddering slightly as he hummed in pleasure, "Sorry," he said.
"What for?" I asked, surprised.
"For being a messy eater...and a picky one," he said, looking embarrassed. I'm sure if he could, he would have been blushing.
I shrugged, "You have to get used to it I guess."
He pursed his lips, "How did you do it?"
"Do what?" I frowned.
He hesitated, "In the forest...the fox..."
I looked down as I put my hand on his bare chest and started to trace patterns on it, "I...felt bad. It was crying and in pain and I couldn't stand to watch it suffer. I know it didn't want to live; it just wanted peace. I followed my instincts and gave it the best I could," I said quietly, not sure what he was thinking.
"I'm not disgusted by it or anything," he said softly, obviously realizing where my thoughts were headed, "I'm proud of you."
My head whipped up in shock.
He smiled wryly, "It sounds weird but it's true. You were strong enough to end its suffering...I wasn't. I couldn't do it. But you could. I'll admit I'm slightly...jealous of you because of that."
I shook my head, "Don't be; it's not something that I would normally do. But when I'm a wolf...I see more through an animal's eyes; I think like one, feel like one. In that world when you're suffering and know there's no way to get help all you want is for it be over as quickly as possible. I did what I would have wanted if it had been me in the fox's place. It was what I had to do. Any other normal animal would have done the same."
He nodded silently, looking thoughtful for a moment before he dipped his head and nuzzled my neck again, "Thank you," he sighed, breath tickling my neck.
I knew what he meant; for letting him drink from me.
"Don't mention it," I shrugged.
"I don't plan on it," he replied and I felt him smile against my throat.
I let out a quiet laugh, "Well I'd hope not."
________________________________________________________
Soo how did you guys like this?
QUESTION "What do you guys think will happen when calebs sister comes?"
love you all so much :)
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-MAHOMIE