Chapter 32
*Tara’s POV*
I woke up to the sound of music.... haha no. Actually I woke up to the sound of yelling. Sound nice right?
Yes, at 6:50 in the morning I was forced to go downstairs and address the shouting voices that had woke me up. Let’s say I wasn’t too happy about it.
“What’s going on here?” I grumbled. Mirabelle and Rena glared at each other.
“She took my converse!” exclaimed Rena.
“You let me borrow them!”
“Only for yesterday!”
“You said for a couple days!”
“Well that was before they happened to be the only thing that matches my outfit!”
“You didn’t care about that sort of thing before! Unless you’re trying to impress someone...”
I held up my hands and they quieted down. “Girls; seriously? Stop it. I must say I don’t like waking up at this time of the morning when I don’t have to work over shoes!” They stayed silent so I continued. “Alright, this is what is going to happen. Mirabelle, you can wear them today but give them back tomorrow. Rena, if you say she can borrow them for a few days then you have to stick with what you said even if they are the only things that will match your outfit. Now I’m going back to bed and I don’t want to hear anymore arguing from you two. Understand?”
“Yes mother.”
“Good. Now hurry up and eat breakfast the bus will be here in fifteen minutes.” They did as I said so I clumbered back up the stairs before collapsing on my bed.
Apparently Conner had woken up because he rolled over to face me with a questioning expression. “Teenagers.” I grumbled. “Fighting over dumb things.”
He laughed. “Remember, we’re technically still teenagers too.”
“Yeah, but we’re legal adults. That’s different.” I said, propping my elbow to support my head.
“We can have more fun.” He winked. I rolled my eyes. Boys will be boys.
“yeah well we also have to work to make a living and find time to sleep in between which is what I’m going to do now.” I said, yawning. I snuggled deeper into the covers next to Conner and he stroked my hair as I fell asleep.
*Conner’s POV*
I kept on stroking her hair even though she had long fallen asleep. Her even breathing soothed me and seeing her sleep made her seem all the more beautiful.
How she could have contemplated dying yesterday was beyond me. At least those dark thoughts had disappeared. But still, something didn’t seem right in that picture. For some reason I smelt foul play in that situation. If someone had put those thought there they would have hell to pay.
Tara stirred in her sleep, bringing me out of my thoughts. A year ago, I never would’ve thought I would be in this situation. Being able to hold her in my arms and have it be completely normal was only in my dreams back then. But that was back when I was too chicken to even ask for a moment alone with her. Now, it was completely normal. Probably because I’ve manned up since then.
Again back to the present, I found that my arm Tara was currently resting upon was falling asleep. The throbbing tingles from it made me want to move it, but I didn’t dare disturb her. She needed the most peace and quiet she could get, with running a household and having teenage kids: which still seemed weird to think about.
Even with my arm going numb, my eyes had trouble staying open with I continuously yawned. Soon enough, I gave in into the peaceful dream world.
*Tara’s POV*
I awoke again to see plain grayness outside the window. Seeing as the winter is fast approaching, I will be waking up to a lot of mornings to grayness outside. I looked up to see Conner sleeping peacefully where he’d been earlier, just before I’d fallen asleep.
The house was mostly quiet for once and I spent a moment enjoying the silence. Then my stomach gave a low rumble so I headed downstairs to satisfy it.
My vision seemed clearer now that the chaos of yesterday was over. You might have thought that it would make things even more clouded and disoriented, but it actually seemed to have refreshed my mind, making it easier to think. Everything that happened yesterday was pushed aside, to make way for today. Another clean start. Well, almost clean that is.
After finishing breakfast and doing other miscellaneous chores, I found it to be midday, with Conner still sleeping, and me not having much else to do. By responding to my mother’s emails, I managed to kill some time, but yet it was not enough to wrack my boredom.
Then, conveniently the doorbell rang. Almost too excitedly to have someone to talk to, I ran to it and opened it hastily. I was not prepared at all for who was behind the door. There, right I front of me was Embry. He had dark circles around his eyes, was a bit dirty and had various cuts and bruises that were rapidly healing. Overall, he didn’t look so great. He especially wasn’t like the confident, arrogant jerk that had confronted me last night. His eyes were back to their usual dark brown and he had a sad expression on his face. Either way, I still folded my arms at the sight of him. Whether he was deeply sorry for what he did or not, I wasn’t going to give him the satisfaction of my forgiveness or tears.
“Tara-” he started, but I cut him off.
“Embry, I don’t want to hear it. You said enough last night. Leave.” I tried to shut the door in his face, but he blocked it.
“Please.” He begged, giving me a heartbreaking look. “Hear me out. That’s all I ask.”
I hesitated for a moment, before opening up the door. “Well you might as well come in then. Don’t want all the chilly air coming in with the door open.”
He stepped inside and I leaned against a chair, waiting for him to break the silence. “I’ll start out by saying I’m sorry. I’m so incredibly sorry. I know it’s not good enough just to say that, but you needed to know.” He paused before continuing. “What happened back there was awful. It was unacceptable. I should have never said any of that stuff to you at all. Seriously, I don’t even know what came over me. It was like I wasn’t myself anymore and that everything I said was said by someone else. I didn’t mean any of it. Not one bit. Please, just understand that. I’m not asking you to forgive me, sue to the fact I wouldn’t even forgive myself if I was in your position. You just have to understand that I’m sorry and that I didn’t mean any of it. That’s all I have to say.”
Honestly, I was speechless. His apology was so sincere that I wanted to believe him so much. But yet, I was not ready to welcome him back into my life. He had hurt me so much, not to mention the wound was too fresh. I just couldn’t forgive him. Not yet. No matter how much I really wanted to. “Embry...” I trailed off, trying to come up with what I should say to him. “I just don’t think I can forgive you yet. You hurt me a lot. I was almost ready to throw myself in a hole for a moment there because of you! I can’t forgive you for that. Not yet. I will admit, you seemed like an entirely different person back there, but that doesn’t change things. Those words still came out of your mouth, and they still carry the sting. I want to forgive you, but I can’t. Sorry.”
He nodded his head, understandingly. “It’s okay.”
“Those words, your words, really affected me.” I admitted. “You’re lucky I didn’t hurt you on the spot.”
“You might not, but I will.” Said a voice from the stairs. I looked to see Conner coming down.
Not good.
I quickly straightened up, with fear for Embry flashing through my mind. “You filthy scumbag.” Growled Conner. “How could you do that to her! Do you know what kind of state of mind she was in when I found her? Huh?” he asked, anger blazing in his eyes.
“Conner, I’m really, really sorry. Trust me, I am.” Spoke Embry, backing away a little.
“Not sorry enough.” Conner said, angrily walked towards him.
I blocked his way. “Conner! Stop this! This has nothing to do with you!”
His fiery gaze went over to me. “Nothing to do with me! Are you kidding! This has everything to do with me! He hurt you Tara. Maybe more than you realize. And he is not going to get away with it.”
I felt angry boil up in me. Not for Embry, but more for Conner. I straightened up to my full height. “I can take care of my own problems, thank you very much. I don’t need your help.” I paused, looking for a change in Conner’s expression. It appeared as if he wasn’t going back down either. “Don’t you remember how the old pack kicked me out?” I continued “Do you!?! Because it seems as if you’re not remembering. I was put out on the street, left to fend for myself. All alone. Do you have any idea of how much that affected me?” I asked, my voice starting to waver with the memories of cold emptiness that I thought had been long put away. “You don’t know what I went through Conner. So this time around I’m going to it my way. Yes the pack came back and apologized many months later. Is Embry not here now to apologize? At least he didn’t waste time in it. Now let me handle this.”
Just as I was about to turn around and politely ask Embry to leave, Conner had butt in. “Tara, you don’t understand. This is has nothing to do with the old pack! This has to do with him-” he jabbed a finger at Embry, “saying intolerable things to you, almost ending you over the edge! This does have to do with me because I’m the one who had to fix the wreck of a person that was left!”
Ok, maybe he did have a point there, but I still wasn’t going to back down quite yet. “Fine, I admit, you are involved. But don’t you see this has everything to do with the old pack! They did the exact same thing he did and did the apology the same way he did!”
“So? What does that mean?”
I opened my mouth to answer, but had second thoughts. Then I replied “I’m sure yet. But I have a feeling that this is not coincidence.” It was true. There was something saying two things. One: this was not a coincidence. And two: this would not be the last time it would happen. In the midst of my thoughts, Conner tried to get past me and get his hands on Embry once more. I reacted quickly enough though, and blocked him again.
“Let me through.”
“No.” I said stubbornly. “Violence is not necessary here.” Then, without turning my head to look at him, I addressed Embry. “Embry, could you please leave now?” Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him nod. A moment later, the front door swung shut and I took down my blocking stance.
“Why couldn’t you have let me through?” growled Conner, pacing.
“Because I wasn’t going to let you lay a hand on him! If you didn’t beat up the pack, then you can’t beat up him. It’s not his fault.”
“Not his fault!?!? Are you kidding me? Whatever he said to you came out of his own mouth. This is his entire fault! Are you telling me that he’s not responsible for his own actions then?”
“Yes-no-I don’t know! I will tell you something though. He was not himself back there. It was like the pack. Something happened when they saw me. Both times. They were not themselves anymore. They were dark, cold and...different. They weren’t themselves. And then shortly thereafter, they return to their normal state. So I guess it is and isn’t their fault at the same time.”
My explanation was well thought out, but Conner was in no mood for explanations. “Whatever. Tell me what the answer is when you figure it out Tara.” He stormed out of the house, leaving me alone in the empty house once more with just my own cold memories to keep me company.
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You know, I'm not going to lie, this chapter was actually really fun to write! I hoped you enjoyed reading it! The next one will be a lot more light hearted! We are approaching the homestretch! (well, sort of)
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