Chapter Notes: Ava-Rain's POV
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- 'Do you want me for my body? Do you want me for my brain?' -
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"So, are you, like, trying to burn a hole through the door with your gaze or something?"
I looked next to me where Caleb stood, his gaze highly fixated on the closed door below. We were on the upper level of the study, and because I had never stepped foot inside of the room before, I was very amazed to see that it had wrapped around the entire room. Much like a typical public library, the upper level was sectioned off with rows of book cases—all of which were completely filled, containing more books than I could have ever imagined a house full of boys would have needed—and stationed between each bookcase was a mahogany table with chairs stationed around all four sides.
It had been almost an hour since Kane informed us that Harrison and Stryder were on their way back to the den with Angelie in tow. Soon after, Caleb had led me back inside and straight to the study where the two of us had remained ever since. I couldn't tell you exactly where the rest of the pack members were, but if I were to guess, I would say that they, too, were making preparations for Angelie's arrival.
And by preparations, I didn't mean rolling out the welcome mats and getting out the good china. Preparing in the sense that they were most likely trying to tame their wolves in hopes of preventing them from tearing Angelie to shreds the moment she walked through the door.
Caleb turned his head towards me and released a soft smile. "It's either stare down there at the door or focus on the anger and hatred that my wolf is currently brewing inside of me."
It was hard not to notice Caleb's change in demeanor since our talk outside. Gone was the loving, casually relaxed boy that found solace in making me laugh and smile. For the most part of the past hour, he had transformed into the hard, cold, silent wolf that I had only seen a handful of times, most of which had involved me as a common denominator.
"Really? Those are your only two options?"
That time, he turned his whole body towards me, which I was glad for because it resulted in the removal of his tightly clenched fists on the wooden bannister separating us from the thirty foot drop to the lower level. And when he looked at me, I smirked, quite certain that he knew exactly what I was implying.
"Of course," his voice darkened, "it's always beneficial to have an 'Option C', isn't it?" He began to close the little space between our bodies but I combatted the action by slowly walking backwards and away from him.
". . .and a 'D'," was my quick reply, "an 'E', maybe even an 'F' and a 'G'."
I continued to put more and more space between us until my body came into contact with one of the tables. My eyes remained on Caleb, who had folded his arms across his chest in amusement when, I assumed, it dawned on him that he was the cat to my mouse. Of course, there wasn't going to be much of a fight on my part because the distraction I was trying to provide was not solely for his benefit but for my own as well.
Though, it wasn't a distraction I necessarily wanted or needed. It was, simply, just him.
His touch. His kiss. His heat.
I needed my mate after being deprived of him for days.
"So, am I right in assuming that somewhere in that plethora of options lays the best choice?" Like a true predator, he stalked his way towards me. "If so, does that, therefore, make this some sort of test?"
I slid on top of the table just as he finally reached me. "Maybe."
He placed both of his hands on top of the table on either side of me and lowered his head, bringing us to face level. His gray eyes darkened quite a bit and the intensity of his gaze alone ignited the flames of desire deep within me. "Well," he removed one hand from the table and placed it on top of my left thigh. Due to my seated position on the table, the hem of my dress had raised quite a few inches, leaving plenty of exposed skin that Caleb wasted no time in exploring. "The cocky bastard in me would have to say that 'Option C' must stand for Caleb. I mean, that's a given."
"Or maybe just cocky," I shot back with an innocent smile.
"'D', has to be for this dress," his hand drifted higher up my thigh, "and 'E' most definitely is for the easy accessibility that said dress provides."
His hand stilled on my thigh but the warmth from his touch continued to spread higher and higher, venturing off to conquer territory its master would stop at nothing to one day claim. "As for 'G'. . .that's a tough one." His eyes flickered down to peruse my body before finding their way back to mine. With a smirk plastered triumphantly on his face, he continued. "But considering you're wrapped up in this pretty little dress, offering me easy access to what we both know will one day be mine to claim, I think I can rightfully assume that 'Option G' is for the delicate little gift that you are."
I wanted to feign outrage at the audacity he had to flip my own joke that I threw out to distract him and, in turn, squeeze out something from nothing—that something being his conclusion that I was a prepackaged gift—until the humour lingering within his eyes was overshadowed by a faint amber glow. A glow that served as a reminder that I may have started the game, but Caleb was going to finish it. He would always win.
"And 'F', my arrogant little wolf?"
"Well, mate," he grinned and leaned in closer until our foreheads touched, "I think we both already know what 'F' stands for, now don't we?"
Fire.
His hands lifted to my face in time with his lips crashing down onto mine. It was a completely automatic response for my legs to part further to allow Caleb to step in between them. It was just as automatic for my hands to find their way underneath the hem of his shirt and roam over his body; for a moan to escape me as the pleasure derived from his kiss alone had me yearning for more and praying for it to never end.
And I had never been that girl. The flirty type. The kind that felt the need to use what she had to gain attention. The kind of girl that relied on her looks to attract others, sending out messages that I was not prepared to handle if they had actually been responded to. I certainly had not been the kind of girl confident enough to go after what she wanted without thinking twice.
I was the girl that had been more concerned about her GPA and kept her legs closed, not the girl obsessed with finding a boy or two—or ten—to soar through high school with in hopes of giving my teenage life some sort of meaning and purpose.
But just because I had never been that girl did not mean that she had not existed somewhere deep inside of me. She was real. Very real. She had taken her first breaths the moment Caleb and I met, had stumbled with her first steps the first time we kissed, and now she danced in perfect rhythm to the chanting flames of desire and intimacy.
I had always known that Caleb had awakened something inside of me in that stupid club. Something dark. Something uncontrollable. Unreasonable. Illogical.
He woke the woman within me.
The woman who knew that making out on a table in the upper level of the study was fun but it wasn't going to be enough. The woman who knew that every touch, though it may have burned with the sweetest of pleasure, it did not burn hot enough. The woman that enjoyed bathing in the verbal confessions of love, but knew that the words were just words and they would not cleanse her down to her core. The woman who loved the man—the soft, gentle and nurturing man that respected her far too much to take this temporary distraction any further—but wanted the wolf.
Caleb was the first to pull away. Nothing besides our ragged breaths could be heard, but instead of waiting until my heavy breathing settled into a steady rhythm, I allowed the woman a bit of free reign before she was pulled back down into the shadows. "Date," I said, but it came out as more of a whisper than I intended.
"What?"
I placed my hands on either side of Caleb's face and pulled my head back slightly to look him in the eyes. "Give me a date—a time, a place."
His eyes narrowed in confusion, a slight shake of his head accompanied the parting of his lips to probably repeat his question. But, all too quickly, his mouth spread into a grin as, I could have only guessed, he realized exactly what I was talking about. "You really want to have that talk right now?" Lowering his head, he buried it in my neck, at first grazing it with his nose before assaulting it with his mouth. "Because the last time I brought it up, you freaked."
Lifting a hand to place at the back of his head, I tangled my fingers in his blond hair and accepted the marking of his territory on my skin. "I did not freak. I was simply caught off guard by your candor."
As she—the woman—continued to enjoy her freedom, the arch of my back in response to the painfully pleasurable nipping and sucking taking place on my neck was a carefully calculated action carried out to use as a stepping stone to take things a step further by wrapping a leg around Caleb's waist.
"It's not everyday a girl is told that she'll become the alpha female of her werewolf boyfriend's pack after doing the," I cleared my throat, "'horizontal tango'."
He chuckled as he ran his hand up and down the leg I had wrapped around his body. It only took a moment before he encouraged my other leg to follow suit. His mouth travelled upwards from my neck towards my mouth and was only breaths away from reconnecting with mine but he stilled before contact was made. "Look at me." His voice was soft but it had not lessened the fact that his request had been a command.
Sliding my hand from his hair and down to his face, I cupped his cheek gently and stared into his dark, passion-filled grey eyes.
"The world is possibly going to come crashing down around us; a traitor to my pack is due to arrive any moment and I'm still completely unsure whether I want to kill her immediately or at least let her speak first; your life has been turned upside down by an unpredictable whirlwind that has not only severed your relationship with your only remaining kin but your friendship with one of your childhood friends; the only possible lead we have on the pure bloods lingers somewhere inside of your head and can only be decoded by that same traitor that I'm not even entirely comfortable having her breathing the same air as you. All of these things to think, worry and stress over, yet the one thing on your mind is when I'm going to claim you?"
Well, when he laid it all out like that. . .
When an undeniable burning sensation soared throughout my leg, I knew it had everything to do with the hand he placed on my thigh. The one that was slowly sliding up and underneath my dress.
Higher. . .and higher. . .
"I blame you entirely for my messed up priorities." You could not touch a girl the way Caleb had touched me—with the element of fire on his side—and not expect that girl to start behaving like a dog in heat. "You turned me into this. It's only right that you fix it."
I chose to repay him by inflicting the same sweet torture he had bestowed upon me and buried my face in his neck, kissing it. It was hard not to lose myself in his woodsy scent, harder for her—the woman—to tame herself from going after more than just a taste.
"Well," his hands roamed over my lower back, "it's tradition for an alpha pair to mate on the night of a full moon."
"Really? We met on the night of a full moon," I stated, not because I thought him unaware but more so because I had just made the realization as I remembered that Kasey had mentioned it at some point that very night. "And that was—"
"Fifteen days ago," Caleb finished my sentence, doing the calculations a lot faster than I could have done in my head.
Fifteen days and yet it seemed like we had been together and known each other for so much longer. "And a full moon occurs every. . .twenty-eight days?"
"Twenty-nine," he corrected. When he placed his hand on the back of my neck, I sensed he wanted my full attention, so I gave it to him as I slid my arms around his neck. "Fourteen days until the next one. In two weeks, we'll have only been together for a month."
"And we haven't even been on a date!"
When he put it all in perspective like that, the reality of what I had asked in the heat of the moment kicked in. Again, although it seemed as though Caleb and I had been together for more than just a couple of weeks, it had not changed the fact that I was seriously—seriously—considering the possibility of consummating our relationship after only being together for a month!
Really, Ava-Rain? Really?
Clearly the woman within me—who I also, in part, blamed for turning me into some wanton hussy—didn't care very much about math nor could she thrive off of logical thoughts and reasoning. As a direct result of her boredom, I felt as she slowly receded into her cage, dragging the veil of lust and desire that had temporary clouded my good reason and judgement along with her.
"Is that something you'd want?" I asked, though I already knew the answer. Caleb was, after all, a twenty-three year old alpha, who could easily have women lined up for days for the chance to be with him—you know, if he were that type of guy. But just because he wasn't that type of guy, it had not diminished or changed the fact that—man or wolf—he had needs. A hunger that needed to be fed. A hunger that could not be sated by appetizers of kisses and touches.
"It doesn't matter what I want," he grinned. "My wants will always take a backseat to your wants, Ava-Rain. You know that."
"But it's tradition."
"Yeah, and there will be plenty of full moons to follow the next one. And just because it's tradition, doesn't mean that we—you and I because we're the only two components that matter—have to maintain tradition. We don't have to plan anything around a full moon. Besides," his eyes lowered for only a second, "full moons and I sort of have a love-hate relationship."
In response to his admission, I leaned in and rested my forehead against his because it only took a fraction of a second for yet another realization to wash over me. I'm sure it should have been an exciting thing; a 'pro' on the checklist of our relationship—for us to be so in tune with each other to be able to extract answers without even having to ask the questions—but I would have only been lying if I said that that sort of connection wasn't equally as overwhelming as it was thrilling. It eliminated the need to wonder or guess. But sometimes the mystery that resulted in being kept in the dark offered more security than the light being casted down upon the truth tricked you into believing had.
Being granted the ability to feel another's pain, guilt, or sadness wasn't something that could easily be taken in stride. But as Caleb's washed over me, I knew that I could not allow it to force me into retreating back to my insecurities. Not even as I felt the meaning being his statement: Caleb had intended to mate with Emmy Grace the night she died—a hard truth he had shared the night he told me about her—and if that had been true that meant she had died under a full moon.
"Screw tradition, then."
"'Screw tradition'," he laughed. "Such an appropriate choice of words given our current topic of discussion."
"Hey! Get your mind out of the gutter! There was absolutely no pun intended in my statement." Leaning in to close the offensive bit of space between us, my hands slid down to his face.
Initially, I had been prepared to tell him that it did not matter when we mated. That there did not need to be a full moon. That the stars did not have to be in perfect alignment in the sky. But, instead, I offered Caleb the only words that could sum up all of that as well as silence his past fears, pain, guilt and regrets.
"I love you," I whispered.
It wasn't just a confession, admission or sweet sentimental phrase. It was a promise. A foundation. A weapon. A silencer of fears. A keeper of oaths. Because even if the world was going to come crashing down around us; despite the fact that Angelie was going to grace us with her presence at any moment, or that I now had a traitor for a best friend; despite our future still being entirely undetermined in regards to the pure bloods and The Council. None of that could take away my love for him. None of that could alter my feelings for my mate because loving him and trusting not only him but my own place by his side, that was all that really mattered. I would always be Caleb's and he would always be mine.
"More than chick flicks and ice cream?" He asked, causing a smile to creep onto both of our mouths.
"More than chick flicks and ice cream," I confirmed just before our lips connected in a soft and gentle kiss. Although the fire brewing between us had become a lot more tamed and I knew the hand he had placed on my bare thigh wasn't going to trek any higher than where the hem of my dress stopped—much to the woman's dismay—when Caleb ended the innocent kisses and touches sooner than I anticipated, it caught me off guard.
My eyes opened to the sight of the earlier Caleb—the dark Caleb—beginning to reappear. And when his eyes met mine, the dark grey orbs I knew were no longer a direct result of the passion derived from our extra-curricular activities, there was no denying the reason behind his transformation.
"They're back."
Right on cue, the door to the study opened, drawing both of our attention towards the intrusion. Due to our current location, we couldn't see who had entered, but the sound of clicking heels on the hardwood floors below could have only meant Angelie had finally graced us with her presence.
"Caleb! You have a lot of nerve sending your goons after me!"
Instinctively, my hand found its way inside of Caleb's before I slid off of the table to my feet. Following his lead, we made our way towards the stairs, but before descending, Caleb turned around to face me. He didn't say anything because the look in his eyes and on his face was enough to convey his question. He wanted to know if I was absolutely sure that I wanted to go through with the plan. In response, I nodded and even offered a soft smile in hopes to reassure him.
The only lead we had on the pure bloods was planted somewhere inside of my mind and the only way to locate it would be with Angelie's help. I had to allow the very person Caleb hated most in life access inside of my head. But, to be perfectly honest, I think it was going to be harder for Caleb to watch than for me to endure. So, although he was seeking confirmation of my willingness to go through with it, I believed it was also, in part, a last second effort for him to come to terms with whether or not he harboured the equal willingness to see his own plan carried out.
"Okay," he said softly and accompanied it with a single nod. Together, we headed down the stairs in perfect unison.
I tried to keep my eyes anywhere other than on the perfection personified I remembered Angelie to be, but my efforts only failed as my sights were drawn towards her like a moth to a flame. Just as I remembered, she was beautiful. And I didn't mean the kind of beauty that immediately made me want to reject or question its authenticity. You know, the kind that brought out the petty, insecure girl in all of us that tried her damned hardest to find a flaw in another girl in the most ridiculously cliche ways as possible, rather than praise or, at the very least, admit when we had been bested by another's beauty.
It was the kind of beauty that couldn't be denied. The kind that didn't make you uncomfortable but rather more content within your own skin and thankful to not have been gifted with such a burden.
As I took in Angelie—the highly unamused look she wore on her face that had not detracted from her beauty in the slightest; the dark brown hair that perfectly framed her oval face and cascaded in waves over her shoulders; the floral print crop top that complimented her peaches-and-cream complexion; her long legs encased in black jeans and enhanced by the thigh high boots she wore—a part of me anticipated at least an inkling of jealousy to consume me but it had not.
Instead, as Caleb and I made our way over to her, each step that brought me within her proximity only made me feel sort of sorry for her as I wondered if beautiful girls truly did have it any easier than the rest of us.
But then I remembered what I had learned about her.
I remembered what she had done to Caleb and to this pack.
I remembered that hating her was pretty much a pre-requisite upon entering into this new world and accepting my place by Caleb's side.
And when I came face to face with her, I remembered that, beautiful or not, Angelie was still an enemy and I didn't think 'loving your enemy' would ever come to pass between the both of us.
"Really, Caleb? Having 'thing one' and 'thing two' over there drag me back here! And what the hell for, might I ask?"
The rest of the pack had shuffled into the room. Kane and Chase headed straight towards Angelie but Caleb lifted a hand to stop their advances. Harrison, Stryder, Tommy and the twins stopped at a close enough distance behind their betas, which resulted in Angelie being surrounded, but not so much in a threatening manner. There had been just enough space put between her and them to make it known that this was their den and her submission was not a request but a demand.
If Angelie was at all phased, she had not shown it. I thought maybe it was because she knew how to handle the men that surrounded her—all of whom she grew up with and had once considered family. But when her attention turned to me, I knew her concern was not on them because it had already been pinned on me.
"I'm pretty damned sure you know exactly why my deltas felt the need to be less than gentle with you, Angelie." Even as he spoke, Angelie's sights remained trained on me. "I told you that if the need arose to be available. It was your condition of being allowed to stay in town. So would you care to explain why the hell it took days for us to locate you?"
Finally her eyes retreated back to Caleb. "Don't fault me if you lack basic tracking skills."
"Perhaps I should have made a little more noise then, huh? Put your name out there on the streets? Smoked you out?"
She smirked. "You blow the whistle on me, you blow the whistle on yourself. We both know you're not stupid, Caleb." She looked around her at the surrounding pack members. "Despite the company you keep."
Kane was the first to move but Chase immediately stilled him by extending his arm out to cut off his advances. Angelie only smiled before returning her eyes to Caleb.
"Neither are you. And because I know you're not stupid, I'm not going to assume that you weren't in the location we specified because you were trying to avoid us, right?"
"Relax," she crossed her arms. "I caught wind that some pure bloods were sniffing around. You understand," she briefly looked at me before looking back at Caleb, "right?"
It took only a second for Caleb to close the space between him and Angelie. It took another for me to realize that his earlier remark about wanting to kill her had not entirely been an exaggeration. He literally looked like he wanted to tear her to shreds which only ignited a fear inside of me. But I wasn't afraid of Caleb, I was afraid for Angelie.
"And I'd hate to think that you had anything to do with that."
Was Caleb thinking that Angelie had a part to play in the pure blood attack, despite the evidence that pointed the blame towards Jennifer?
"What the hell are you talking about, Caleb?"
"When one owes allegiance to nobody, they learn to side with themselves. Maybe you were looking out for yourself, as always."
I could see that Caleb was going to snap any second. But it was naive of me to think that I had been the only person to notice because just as I was going to reach out to him, I had been restrained when an arm slid around me from behind. It took only a second for the earthy scent to wrap around me and for me to conclude that it was Declan who was making sure that I didn't try and stop whatever it was that Caleb was going to do. How had I not noticed that the twin had moved towards me?
"Maybe you've been feeding them information." Caleb backed Angelie up, his intimidation slowly drawing out the confidence that had inhabited her moments prior as a look of disbelief and fear splashed across her face.
"Are you questioning or accusing?" She asked.
"I really would hate to learn that you told them about Ava-Rain."
Angelie put her hands up, but whether it was in surrender or to stop his advances, it was unclear. It did not, however, stop Caleb from backing her into a wall and tightening his hand around her throat.
Immediately, the rest of the pack rushed towards them, but it was obvious their intention was not to rush to Angelie's side but to back up their alpha if necessary.
"Caleb!" I called out to him. I tried to break out of Declan's hold, which only caused him to pull me behind his frame.
Declan turned to face me, blocking my view of Caleb and Angelie entirely. "Do you trust him?" He asked.
"He's going to kill her, Declan!" I tried to move around him, tried to sneak a glance over his shoulder, but the twin was doing a damned good job of thwarting my efforts.
"Do you trust him, Ava-Rain?" He repeated his question, only that time louder.
Did I trust him? Of course I trusted Caleb. I trusted him with my life. But did I trust him with Angelie's? Absolutely not. "Yes, but—"
"Then trust him!"
He then stepped out of the way, clearing the path for my eyes to locate my mate, but Declan's hold on me had not broken. I assumed it was to keep me from attempting to involve myself in whatever it was that was going down—the part of the plan that Caleb failed to include me in on. But it was quickly becoming obvious that if I wanted to play with the big boys and be included in pack matters then I had to act like I deserved that right. I had to prove that I was capable of anything and everything, prove that I was ready to do so.
But the human in me, the girl not born or bred from this world, was still trying to find her footing in the grey area of this universe she had once believed had been painted primarily in black and white.
"They know about her!" Caleb yelled. "They attacked her, Angelie! They attacked my mate and I swear to Luna if you had anything to do with that attack, I won't fail to kill you this time around! Did you tell anyone?"
Angelie's hands flew to Caleb's hand around her throat, but even as I watched I knew that her freedom would not be reached by her own useless efforts. Her life was, quite literally, in Caleb's hands. "No!" She choked out. Her eyes flickered in my direction, but when I expected them to retreat back to Caleb, they remained on me. "I swear!"
I believed her.
It took a second too long for my taste, but Caleb finally released Angelie by removing his hand from her throat. Angelie immediately doubled over and her hands flew to her neck as she coughed, an after effect of her much needed intakes of air. When Declan's hold on me broke, I rushed over towards Caleb, who remained in position in front of Angelie and not at all bothered in the slightest at her hunched over frame before his eyes.
I weaved myself in between the pack members until I reached my mate. I probably should have been a bit more cautious. I probably should have kept myself at a safe enough distance away. But, instead, I joined Caleb's side and slipped my hand into the very one he had clutched around Angelie's throat moments prior. It was warm, still burning with the promise of death.
"Was that necessary, Caleb?" Angelie was still trying to catch her breath but she had managed to hold herself upright by rising to her feet. "You could have just asked and skipped the dramatics."
"I had to be sure."
"Forcing me to force the truth inside of your mind?"
Force the truth inside of his mind? What had she meant? Did it have something to do with her ability to enter into another's mind through the yellow, the element gifted to her from her pure blood father?
"We both know you wouldn't die for a lie. Your life is the only thing that matters most to you."
"It could have destroyed you, you idiot! The yellow could have destroyed you! I may have had my whole life to learn to control it, but it's still unpredictable when pushed, Caleb!"
I had not missed the tone of her voice; it emitted her genuine concern for Caleb more so than for herself. This girl, who had been described as caring about nobody other than herself, had not voiced concern for herself but for Caleb.
Angelie tossed her hair over her shoulder, gave her throat one last soothing caress before dropping her hand to her side and looking at me. "Care to explain to me why I almost had my life squeezed out of me for your sake?" She smirked. "I'm Angelie, by the way."