Lost

Bitter

I force myself to be with people I don't feel for,
It's my modus operandi.
I do it to make them feel,
To help them become stronger.
I tear myself down
To build them up.
I will deny myself the love that I want, Because I convince myself
That I don't deserve it.
So I give my time to the ones that don't make me feel a thing,
Just to show them that they deserve attention.
I sacrifice my own happiness
To bring as much as possible to others.
I think I will always be this way,
Faking myself through these relationships.
It leaves a bitter taste in my mouth.
One that I fear will never go away, Because I never go for what I want.
Instead, I fight to give these people What they need, in spite of myself.
My one saving grace is that
I may forget who I am, and
What I really want along the way.
Then faking it won't be so hard.
I think I will become dead inside. Maybe that is what I need
To get this bitter taste out of my mouth.