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By Shy_Girl14

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We All Have Our Role to Play

29 2 2
By Shy_Girl14

Oh My Goodness! This is my 100th review!

Liv-Love-Laugh


Plot and Idea: Interesting


Genre: Fantasy


Summary: 

Demons. Thats what this land is waging its war against. Without the knowledge of the villagers. No one wants panic. This book is about 3 girls, who's Destiny's have been connected through fate. A fate told by a man full of visions. who see's the destiny of others. And he saw it for these 3 girls.

The Wife, The Warrior, And The Sacrifice.All are needed to stop this war.

First is Adelaide. when she was a child she was sent away to keep her safe and pure for the kings son. So she may become his wife one day. And that day has come. But when she is warned of soldiers coming to take her away from her home, she runs. she runs away from her life and faces many difficulties along the way. How will it end for this girl?

Second The Warrior Ara In this world war is everywhere. But the real war these people are fighting is against demons. It was told by William, the man of visions That one day a young woman will stand up to the empire. and she will be the lands warrior. Can Ara live up to the expectations that have been set for her?

And lastly The Sacrifice. It was told that we can fight this war for however long but the land must have a sacrifice to seal the war. And according to William it cant be just anyone. It must be a girl pure of heart. Pure of mind, and pure of soul. He could see this girl. but locating her was hard. It could take years. Decades even.2 things must be done before the sacrifice can save the land. The bond between the royal and pure has to be connected. Adelaide must marry the prince. And The warrior must take the life of one who is corrupt. And then The sacrifice may happen.

So for the land and all its people to survive, these 3 must follow the lives set for them. but will they? Will they play the roles set for them? Of will they make their own destiny's?


My Review:

I'm just going to state the obvious before I start. I's that are alone must always be capitalized, that is a very basic knowledge that I realize some people do not notice, but it is wrong in every way to write I as a lowercase when it is alone. Though some write in all lowercase or all uppercase you seem to keep changing with your I's. You have major punctuation inconsistencies which ruins the flow of your story; and your description although there is a bit confusing and switches from too detailed and too under detailed way to much. Your spacing needs some work as well, since it seems you randomly switch the spacing structure in the middle of the story.

The grammar of your story has a lot of cringe worthy moments, since there are words spelled incorrectly and the tense you are writing in switches a lot. Though your cover is quite nice, the pace of your story sometimes goes too fast. The paragraphing and dialogue as well are not that good, they are not fluid in a way that is easy to follow. The capitalization has issues, because some sentences start with a capitalized letter and others do now. The development and the sentence structure are not there, it feels pretty static and the your sentences are not formed properly. The plot really needs to be shown, because this could really be a good/interesting read.


Rating: 3.7


Overall: This is not my cup of tea because of all these errors, but I encourage you to give it a try if you think it wouldn't bother you.

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