After the train I didn't see Niall for a long time. It had confused Louis at first, as he said Niall would always keep trying to find me. Finally he settled down and endured the wait alongside me.
As much as I wanted to help Niall, I couldn't quite squash the guilt that was slowly eating me from the inside out. It made my stomach twist and my head ache every time I thought about it.
The fact that our entire relationship, from beginning to end, no matter where it went would be planned. That everything he did was of his own accord, though I was told about every move I should make beforehand.
It was sick, and I couldn't stand it. But it was the only way to save him and I had to carry on. As Louis told me, I was in it for good now.
The thoughts were harder to keep in the longer I had to think about them, and since Niall was away, I had all the time in the world. Louis started to notice my change in mood, though it took him a long time. He told me he was sorry, and should've noticed sooner, but he wasn't accustomed to human emotions.
I forgave him. It wasn't his fault anyway, it was his job.
It was bearable, but things were definitely looking darker.
I'm sorry for not updating for a while everyone!
someone in my family has been quite sick do we've all been very busy. (that person is fine now btw.)
so I should be good to write again now lovely people!!
I hope you like the change in covers and my new username!
love you all
vote and comment!
jay xx