Janelle | January
"Damn, I still can't believe I'm at Chris Brown's wedding." Q whispered in my ear and I gave him a little smile. About a month has passed and I've returned to LA to attend the wedding. Q just so happened to have his True Religion interview this week so I invited him to be my date. Although he was my date, nothing was going on between us... not a thing. We have separate rooms and everything, I was still a little upset over my breakup with Nico, I know he did what he did for me but he was a really great guy and it's hard for me to give something like that up. The wedding part had already passed, Chelsea and Chris were officially married and now we were at the reception. Being the maid of honor, I sat at the first table where all of the people in the wedding sat with their dates. I was seated next to Jade and across from me of course, was Michael. He kept staring at Quincy, I guess because he thought that was my new man or something. I was on baby duty so I cradled baby Christian in my arms as he quietly babbled and fell in and out of sleep. I was searching around for my love King, and spotted him over with Passionaye but I hadn't gotten a chance to speak to them yet.
Christian grabbed onto my finger with his whole hand as Chris stepped on the stage and began to speak. "I guess it's my time to speak and profess my love for this woman right here." He gestured to Chelsea as we all chuckled. "Well damn, I don't know where to start. To this day, I've known Chelsea for about 87 weeks and 5 days. That seems like a long time but I swear, that ain't anything. From the day I met her, I knew she was something special so it was inevitable that we'd end up starting a family and getting married hella fast. That was something the press couldn't get enough of... Chris Brown getting involved with another woman and getting her pregnant then marrying her. I swear, stuff like that used to bother me so much because even after all the crazy stuff that I've done, I still wanted to get the approval of everyone but when I got with Chelsea, she calmed me down and it was only for one reason... I didn't care what anyone else thought except for her. Every decision that I made, everything I did, I wanted to make her proud to first be my girl, then the mother of my child and now my wife. By wanting to be better for her, I've become a better person and I have no one to thank for except for her... and of course my mama." Chris smiled as we "aww-ed". "Chelsea is just that type of person who brings happiness into your life and if you're upset about something or sad or whatever, she'll do anything to brighten your day. I know plenty of people here have experienced that first hand." I nodded. He turned to Chelsea and smiled, "Baby, I'm glad you chose me to start a life with because without you, I'd be nothing. Youv'e brought so many good things into my life and now, I'll do the same for you. You deserve nothing but the best outta life and I'd give my all to you. I love you babygirl."
We all applauded as he sat back down and Chelsea stood up, grabbing the mic from him. "Wow... how am I supposed to follow that?" She joked and ran her fingers through her hair, "Yes I guess it's true, Chris has known me for 87 weeks and 5 days but I've known Chris since I was 15 and he was 16. I was that one annoying teenager who would change her name to 'Mrs. Chelsea Lincoln-Brown' and was obsessed with him although I knew the reality of my dream or just to even meet him was slim to none. So it was crazy that on some random April day while hanging out with Janelle, I met him. And let me tell ya'll something, when I met him, I felt something. And no, it wasn't just those butterflies of meeting someone famous, I was like a feeling of fullness--I was now complete, I found who I belonged with. I could speak on everything I love about this man, but I'd be here all day. He's so full of life, compassionate, friendly, everything a girl would want. He's an amazing father to Christian and I couldn't ask for anymore in a soul. This big, crazy dream of mine has come true and I'm so happy I met Chris because he wasn't just my childhood/celebrity crush, he's my soulmate and I know it, he's irreplaceable."
By this time, I was crying buckets to Q handed me a tissue, "You such a crybaby Nelle."
I chuckled and replied, "Shutup. This is just really sweet."
The M.C. Damian, who was also Chelsea's cousin spoke up and said, "Alright ya'll, now that the newlyweds have spoken, it's time for the best man to speak, please welcome Michael." I watched as Michael went up to the stage and cleared his throat, "Let me just say, I'm truly honored that Chris asked me to be his best man. It really means a lot to me, I would be the happiest person here today but I guess nothing beats marrying 'The Chris Brown' right Chels?" The audience laughed as Chelsea blushed and Chris kissed her cheek. "Me and Chris have been boys for a while and when we first met and go out and stuff, we weren't looking for girls to settle down with, if you know what I mean... but as time went on, we grew up, got more mature and our mentalities changed, we knew we were getting older and we were ready to settle down." He glanced over at me for a quick second then continued, "But nothing made Chris more ready to settle down then meeting Chelsea. You know how guys usually deny falling in love with a girl 'cause they don't wanna be called 'whipped?' well that was the exact opposite of what he did. I remember one time I looked at his phone right around the time they started dating and he got a text from someone named, 'My Everything' and I asked him who it was and he said Chelsea and I asked him when she changed her name to that in his phone and she said he did it himself. Ain't that some crazy ish?" Everyone started laughing again and Christian began stirring in my arms, he probably needed to be changed. I grabbed his baby bag and tried to discreetly exit the room while Ty kept speaking. When I got into the bathroom, I took off his little suit bottoms and his diaper seeing that he had made a little poopy. I scrunched up my nose then removed the diaper and cleaned him before putting on a new one. "Usually I wouldn't do this for any baby, but you're special boo." I spoke to him in my baby voice as I put back on his bottoms and placed him on my right hip while slinging his baby bag over my left shoulder.
As I exited the bathroom, I bumped into someone. I looked up and saw Passionaye holding King's hand.
"Hi Ms. P." I said smiling and giving her a hug to the best of my abilities.
"Janelle! I've been meaning to talk to you, I've missed you so much. We all do."
"Aww, I miss you too. Especially this cutie." I bent down and smiled at King. He looked at me for a second, trying to remember who I was and when he did, his face immediately lit up and he hugged me. "JANELLE! I missed you so much!"
"I missed you too booboo." I kissed him on the forehead.
"Are you coming back to stay here?"
I shook my head, "No, I'm just visiting."
"Oh." He frowned which broke my heart.
"But I'm staying here until next week so we'll hang out, okay?"
"Okay." He nodded and asked, "With Daddy?"
I bit my lip, "Maybe... but go on into the bathroom and I'll see you later, okay?"
"Okay. I love you Janelle."
"Aww, I love you too King." I got up and smiled at Michael's mother before heading back into the room.
"You good?" Q asked me.
"Yeah, just had to change this little stinka right here." I ticked Christian and he startled babbling and giggling.
"You really love kids Janelle."
"Yeah, I really do." I looked over at Michael who was staring in the direction of me but I couldn't figure out what in particular he was looking at... Weird.
Michael
I put King to sleep in my bed just as my mother came back into the hotel room. "Today was beautiful." She said as she sat in the bed beside mine.
"Yeah, it was." I said meekly.
"You okay Mikey?"
"Yeah ma, I'm good." I grabbed my snapback from off an end table and put it on. "I'm gunna go out for a few... just gunna walk around."
"Alright... Be safe... and I saw her in the lobby about five minutes ago."
"Who?"
"You know." She was talking about Janelle.
"Aight ma, I'll be back." I walked out of the room and took the elevator down to the lobby. I looked around and saw no one. At this point, I was desperate to talk to Janelle. Last time we talked didn't go well at all and I was just tired of seeing her and having these walls up because we're irritated at each other or whatever... I was just tired of that bullshit and wanted to talk to her. I heard faint music coming from down the hall so I walked to a room where it looked like they had kareoke going on. I took a seat in the back and decided to chill around, maybe something'll entertain me today.
The coordnator of the event looked at the clipboard and said, "Alright, that was great Harry! Next up is Janelle singing 'Listen'.
Surprisingly, I saw Janelle kind of sullen-looking get up on stage and grab the mic. "Sorry ya'll, I'm kind of nervous."
"That's okay, we all are at first sweetie." The coordinator smiled at her then hopped off the stage.
The music started playing and Janelle nervously tucked a strand of hair behind her ear as she began singing.
Listen...
To the song here in my heart.
A melody I start, but can't complete...
Listen, mm mm...
To the sound from deep within,
It's only beginging to find release.
Oh the time has come, for my dreams to be heard,
They will not be pushed aside and turned
Into your own,
All cause you won't,
Listen...
Listen, I am alone at a crossroads,
I'm not at home in my own home...
And I've tried and tried, to say what's on my mind,
You should have known, oh!
Now I'm done believing you...
You don't know what I'm feeling,
I'm more than what, you made of me
I followed the voice, you gave to me.
But know I gotta find my own.
I was amazed. She had a pretty good voice but the emotion that she had while singing it was overwhelming, she almost had a nigga ready to cry. When she finished the song, everyone stood to their feet and applauded as she stepped off the stage and started to head out the room. I got up quickly and grabbed her arm, startling her. "Can we talk?" I asked her.
"Yeah." She said almost automatically which surprised me. I let go of her arm and we walked to the back patio where it was empty. We sat at a table and there was an awkward silence.
"What made you sing that song?" I asked her.
"I was watching the movie and it just resignated with me... It felt good to sing it." She was talking about Dreamgirls, she loved that movie like no other.
"It sounded good."
"Thanks." She gave me a small smile then diverted her attention to her nails.
"Is your uh, date gunna be okay with you being here with me?"
She nodded, "He's just a friend... an employee, nothing more. He had a job interview out here so I just invited him along."
"That's nice of you. If you don't mind me asking, what happened to the other guy?"
She looked up at me for a moment then back down, "He broke up with me."
"Why?"
"We both knew it was a mistake for me to be in another relationship when I... when I still wasn't over my old one."
"Oh... I'm sorry."
"It's fine. What happened to you and that girl?"
"You were right... she wasn't shit."
"I guess we both don't know how to pick 'em huh?"
"I'm not too sure about that." I smiled at her and she returned it. "Janelle, I just want you to know, I'm so sorry for everything, really. I never meant for you to feel bad in any way. It's just that what happened to us... What happened between us, was hard for me to handle the right way. Just like today when Chelsea said she knew Chris was the one for her, I knew-I know you're the one for me. I know you were hurt but you hurt me when you left. It made me feel like you thought I couldn't do enough to help you get through this. As much as you needed me, I needed you too." I started to tear up which blew my mind, I've never cried over any female before but she has me open like a book.
Janelle started crying too. She whimpered as she said, "I'm so sorry Michael. I'm so selfish... I only thought of myself... I'm so stupid." I shook my head as I stood up and pulled her up from her seat. I pulled her into a hug and she just cried into my arms. Once she finally stopped, she wiped off her face and said, "What do we do now?"
I pulled out of our embrace and said, "We should just talk and be friends for now until we figure everything out... I mean you're still in New York and I'm here so when we feel like we've figured out what's right, we'll decide what to do, okay?"
She nodded, "Okay."
We ended up walking around, talking and joking just like old times until the sun came up the next day. This is just what I needed, I missed this.
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